Waiting For Rachel: A Christian Romance (Those Karlsson Boys) (4 page)

“She didn’t ruin anything,” Rachel assured him with a smile. “Just added a little spice to it.”

“I’m glad.” Damian’s voice softened. “This is the closest I’ve gotten to a real date with you. I’d hate to think you didn’t enjoy it as much as I did.”

Heat flooded Rachel’s cheeks. “Damian.” She tried to interject a warning tone in her voice. She jumped when his bare fingers brushed her cheek. “What are you doing?”

“My fingers were cold. I figured your cheeks would be warm enough to take the chill off.” Though the darkness hid his face, Rachel could hear the teasing in his voice.

She reached up and gripped his arm, planning to move his hand from her face, but instead they froze in that position -- his fingers still touching her cheek, her fingers wrapped around his wrist. Rachel’s heart pounded. She closed her eyes for a second to gather her strength and then put pressure on his wrist to move his hand. He didn’t resist. His arm lowered to his side as Rachel released her grip on his wrist.

“Drive carefully.” There was no teasing in his voice now, only emotion that Rachel couldn’t quite pin down.

“You, too,” she told him before turning toward the car.

They said their goodnights, and Rachel and Serena got into the car. Rachel watched in her rearview mirror as Damian walked with long determined strides to his truck. If they had been walking side by side, he probably would have shortened his stride so she could keep up with him. He was just that kind of guy.

She leaned forward to rest her forehead on the steering wheel. Why did it have to be so confusing?

“Are we waiting for someone?” Serena asked, dragging Rachel’s thoughts from Damian.

Rachel straightened, relieved that the darkness hid yet another blush. She put the key into the ignition and turned it.

“You know, I really don’t like that woman,” Serena said as they waited for the car to warm up. “Annie’s been after Damian from the moment she set foot in the church.”

“Has she been attending long?” Although Rachel didn’t really want to talk about Annie, she was glad Serena hadn’t commented on the little scene between her and Damian. “I’m afraid I didn’t even know her name tonight.”

“She’s been coming for a little over a year now.”

“I guess that’s the trouble with attending a big church, you miss the newcomers.” Rachel backed out of the parking space and headed for Serena’s house. “I’m sure she’s not the only woman with her sights set on Damian.”

“Nope, and isn’t it a shame that the woman he’s got his sights on doesn’t return the feelings.”

Rachel braked more abruptly than usual as they approached a red light. She glanced at Serena, the streetlights illuminating the mischievous look on her friend’s face.

“It’s pretty clear Damian feels something for you.”

As the light turned green Rachel accelerated. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Rachel,” Serena said, admonishment in her tone. “I know we’re not super close friends, but we’ve known each for several years. I’ve also worked closely with Damian for a while now. I’m not dumb. He’s always offering to pick up book orders that come in. I see the look on his face whenever I mention your name. I saw what just passed between you two in the parking lot back there. He’s got something for you.”

“You don’t have feelings for him, do you?” Rachel asked, wanting clarification before she said anything more about her relationship with Damian.

“No, I’m probably one of the few who doesn’t,” Serena said. “I’m not on the lookout for a husband at the moment.”

“You aren’t?” Rachel cast Serena a surprised look. “I thought every single woman was.”

Serena groaned. “Please don’t tell me you believe that.”

Rachel laughed. “I’m just kidding. To be honest, I’m not on the lookout for a husband either. Unfortunately, Damian doesn’t seem to want to hear that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not much to talk about.” Rachel kept her gaze on the road.

Serena sighed audibly. “You’re right about that. I guess what I don’t understand is why you two aren’t living happily ever after. You haven’t even given the guy a chance.”

“I just told you I’m not looking for a husband,” Rachel said defensively. “If you can use that excuse, why can’t I?”

“I don’t have a perfectly good candidate for the job standing in front of me,” Serena replied.

“So, if you did, you’d consider getting married?”

“Perhaps. The thing is, I pray on a daily basis that the Lord will give me contentment in my singleness. So far He has. Until that changes, I can only believe it’s God’s will that I remain single. Not to mention the fact that up ‘til now there’s been no one in my life I could imagine being married to. Maybe
someday that will change. Maybe not.” Serena paused. “Are you happy being single?”

Rachel didn’t reply right away. Was she happy being single? She hadn’t really thought about it that bluntly. “No, I’m not happy being single, but there are things that prevent me from getting married.”

“Like what?”

“Oh Serena, I can’t explain it all to you,” Rachel said, even though she longed to spill her heartache.

Serena didn’t say anything for a moment. “Okay, I won’t pester. The Lord knows I’m not too keen on sharing my troubles at times either. I just hope things work out for you and Damian…together or apart.”

“Thanks. I hope the same for you.”

Serena sighed. “You can turn left at the next street.”

Rachel swung her car onto a side street lined with trees and small houses. “Have you lived here long?”

“A couple of years. When I moved here, I lived in an apartment for the first few years but then wanted a place of my own.” Serena waved her hand to the right. “That’s my house there. Number 786.”

“Love your lights,” Rachel said, peering through the windshield as she pulled to a stop in front of the house. “I can never have enough lights around at Christmas.”

“Me, too. I put mine on a timer, so they’re always on in the evening whether I’m home or not. Helps to brighten up the neighborhood.” Serena opened the door and got out. Before slamming it, she leaned back in. “Thanks for the ride. And if you ever need to chat, give me a call.”

“Thanks, Serena, I’ll remember that. See you tomorrow.”

Serena shut the door and waved her hand before heading into her small house.

Rachel made a quick
U-turn and headed back for East River Road. She merged into the light night traffic and drove home. As she pulled into her driveway Serena’s words echoed in her mind. She did want to get married, but would the secrets of her past ever let her?

Pushing thoughts of her past from her mind, Rachel let herself in the back door. She didn’t bother turning on lights but switched the security alarm on and headed upstairs.

Half an hour later she lay curled under the blankets on her bed. As she tried to fall asleep she couldn’t help thinking about Damian. While he’d always been a distraction, lately he’d begun to take more and more of her thoughts. Her vulnerability was at an all-time high right now. With her mom gone, and spending her first Christmas alone, Rachel’s heart just ached for someone to care. And Damian was offering that care…and more.

Rachel flopped onto her back and laced her fingers behind her head. She stared at the darkened ceiling. It was so, so tempting to just toss aside all that held her back from Damian. But it would be wrong to get involved with him without telling him everything. And if he knew everything, his feelings for her would change. How could they not? One of the things he wanted was something she couldn’t give him. A family.

She didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes when she told him. Rachel didn’t think she could bear that. It was easier to just end it without detailed explanation.

Flipping onto her stomach, she punched her pillow. She laid her head down and stared out the large window of her bedroom to the dark night beyond.

Just one date
, the little voice inside her pleaded.

It’s not fair to Damian
, she argued back.

She needed to end things once and for all. He deserved a woman who could fill the role of wife, and eventually mother, like he wanted.

And Rachel told herself she could find the things she needed to fill her future, to fill the gaping hole Damian’s absence would create. If only she could figure out what God wanted her to do, what He wanted for her.

In the stillness of her dark room, Rachel finally admitted that she didn’t know God’s will with regards to Damian because she hadn’t asked. She was too afraid to ask. It scared her to think that maybe God did want her to spill her secrets to Damian. To give him a chance. But the thought of doing that made her stomach clench.

All the men she’d loved in her life had let her down in a big way when she’d needed them most, even the ones who had claimed to be Christian. And Damian had already dumped one long-time girlfriend. What guarantee did Rachel have he wouldn’t do that to her once he learned the secrets she held close?

Chapter Four

As Damian led the congregation in the singing of “Silent Night”, his gaze searched for Rachel. Thankfully he knew the carol by heart because his mind wasn’t on the words. He finally spotted her seated in a pew near the back. As their gazes met, Damian’s heart lifted, and he gave her a quick smile. He was thrilled when she smiled back, also briefly, but it was encouraging. At least she hadn’t scowled at him.

Content to know Rachel was there, Damian turned his attention back to the service. He planned to talk with her after his responsibility for the morning service had ended, as long as she didn’t attempt to make a quick escape.

As Reverend Anderson’s preached, Damian tried to keep his thoughts on what the man was saying. Unfortunately, the image of Rachel’s face kept creeping into his mind. He thought of how she’d looked the night before as she stood out in the lightly falling snow, her face illuminated by the street light overhead. And how satiny soft her cheek had felt beneath his fingertips. He’d also enjoyed her witty exchange with Annie, glad to see Rachel could hold her own.

Oh God, when will this waiting end?
Damian’s hands clenched his Bible. An intensity had grown within his heart these past few months, a restlessness he couldn’t ignore. He was confident God had placed these feelings in his heart, but Damian wondered why Rachel hadn’t experienced them as well. Surely she could see they were meant to be together. People might think he was nuts to be so certain, but he couldn’t deny the feelings in his heart and how sure he was that it was God’s will for them to be together.

After Damian had finished his duties in the morning service, he made his way toward the back of the sanctuary. Church members stood in clusters, talking, and he had to weave his way among them, stopping periodically to shake a hand.

As he neared the middle of the sanctuary, Damian spotted Rachel headed out the doors leading to the foyer, Serena by her side. He found it interesting that after several years of knowing each other, Rachel and Serena finally seemed to be taking their friendship to a deeper level. He was glad to see it as he was sure that Rachel needed a good friend these days.

He followed them to the foyer, watching as Serena veered off towards the offices.

“Rachel,” Damian said as he came up behind her.

She turned, and Damian’s heart sank a little as he saw the brief flash of apprehension in her eyes before she smiled. It was almost as if she didn’t trust him, but as far as Damian knew he’d never given her reason to feel that way. Or maybe she was expecting him to pounce. After all, he had stepped up his pursuit of her.

“Hi Damian,” Rachel pulled her coat off a hanger. “Good singing this morning.”

“One of the perks of the job.” Damian took the coat from her. “Here, let me help you.”

He held out the soft wool coat so she could slip her arms into the sleeves then lifted it onto her shoulders. When Rachel turned back around, she had already begun to button it.

“Are you in charge of the carol singing service tonight?”

Damian nodded. “I seem to have taken on most the music responsibilities in the church, along with the youth ministry. Guess Reverend Anderson means to keep me so busy I don’t get into any trouble.”

“You? Into trouble?” Rachel’s mouth curved into a half smile. “I can’t imagine.”

“I’m not a troublemaker, just ask my mom. I’m the oldest, the reliable one.” Damian grinned. “So you’re coming tonight?”

“I plan to. I need to start attending some Christmas events. I’ve been so focused on the store, the season is getting lost on me.”

“Well, the program tonight should help get you in the mood.”

Nodding, Rachel slipped the strap of her purse over her shoulder.

“Ready to go, Rache?” Serena appeared behind Rachel, also wearing her coat.

Rachel turned slightly and stepped back, allowing Serena to join them. “Yep.”

“Going out to eat?” Damian asked.

Serena nodded. “We’re going to the buffet. I know we shouldn’t after last night, but we promised each other not to make it a regular event. Did you want to join us?”

“Only if I can bring my folks and Jace. I told them I’d take care of dinner today.”

“Hey, the more the merrier,” Serena said with a smile.

Rachel laid her hand on Serena’s sleeve. “I’ll be right back.”

Damian watched Rachel move through the crowd and soon spotted her target. She reached out and touched the shoulder of the slender girl walking alone toward the exit of the church. When the girl turned towards Rachel, a smile transformed her thin face, and Damian recognized her as a clerk from Rachel’s store.

Within a few minutes Rachel was back, young woman in tow.

“Serena. Damian. I’d like you to meet Mari. She recently started working for me.”

Mari pulled her hand out of her mitt and held it out, first to Serena then to Damian.

“I’ve met you at the store, right?” Damian said as he took her hand and gave it a firm shake.

Mari nodded. “I was working when you came in last week.”

“Is this your first time to our church?”

Again she nodded. “I’m new in town, so I’ve been looking for a church. I really enjoyed the service.”

Rachel looked at Mari, dismay on her face. “I’m so sorry I didn’t think to invite you. I just assumed you had a church already.”

“I’ve tried a few churches, but they’ve been a bit different from what I’m used to.”

“Well, I hope you find what you need in our church and keep coming,” Damian said, then grinned. “I have to do my job recruiting people to attend.”

“Consider me recruited,” Mari said, smiling in return and igniting a spark of recognition in Damian…one he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

Rachel looked at Serena. “I invited Mari to join us for lunch, too.”

“That’s great. Like I already said, the more the merrier.”

“Hey, Damian.” Damian turned to see his younger brother Jace standing behind him. “Can I ride with you?”

Damian nodded then gestured to Mari. “Mari works in Rachel’s store. This is her first time to our church.” Damian didn’t miss the flash of interest on Jace’s face when he smiled at the young woman. “This is my brother Jace. He’s involved with the youth, so if you’re interested he could tell you about it over lunch.”

Jace held out his hand and shook Mari’s. “Nice to meet you.” He turned back to Damian. “We’re going out to eat?”

Damian nodded. “These nice ladies have been generous enough to include us in their lunch plans.”

“Sounds good,” Jace said, glancing again at Mari.

“We’ll meet you at the restaurant, okay?” Damian said. “Which one are you going to?”

Rachel gave him directions then left the church with Serena and Mari. Damian went in search of his folks, not wanting to delay getting to the restaurant any longer than necessary. He just hoped his mother didn’t drop any subtle, or not-so-subtle, hints about him and Rachel. That would probably scare her off but good.

*****

Rachel surveyed the long line of people just inside the door of the restaurant, wondering if their idea had been such a good one. It would take forever to get a table.

“The line should move quickly,” Serena said, as if reading Rachel’s mind. “I see a few empty tables.”

“I guess we’re in no rush.” Rachel looked at Mari. “Are you okay with waiting?”

“Sure, no problem. All I was planning to do this afternoon was read, and I can do that any time.” The line moved forward a couple of steps.

“What are you reading?” Rachel asked. Her passion for books had led her to open the bookstore, and she always enjoyed talking books with other avid readers.

Mari mentioned the name of a well-known Christian author. “I love her work. This latest one has a great suspense plot as well as the romance I enjoy so much. I’m halfway through and still haven’t guessed who the bad guy is. I would have finished reading it last night, but it was late, and I didn’t want to miss church this morning.”

Rachel smiled. “I read that one already, and it really is great. I won’t spoil the ending, but will tell you that there are quite a few twists and turns in the last half of the book.”

“I can hardly wait. Maybe I do have something I need to get home for,” Mari said, a grin playing around the edges of her lips.

“Too late. You’re stuck with us now.” Rachel laughed, appreciating the young woman’s sense of humor.

Mari’s eyes got a faraway, dreamy look in them. “I’d love to be a writer someday.”

“Really?” Rachel looked at Mari, so young, with her whole future ahead of her. “So why don’t you go for it?”

Mari’s gaze focused on her. “Do you think I should?”

“Well, of course. If this is a dream you have, you must at least try to follow it. If you don’t, you’ll always have regrets and wonder about the road not taken.” Rachel knew all about roads not taken and wondered about giving the advice to someone when she herself hadn’t followed it. And didn’t intend to. The only dream she’d really pursued had been her bookstore.

“I’ve got so many ideas running round in my head, characters telling me their stories,” Mari explained, her eyes bright with excitement. Then she looked sheepish. “Okay, that must sound really weird.”

“Not at all. It sounds like you have some work to do. Get those ideas down on paper. You have to start somewhere,” Rachel advised. “Just don’t quit your day job.”

Mari laughed, a soft, sweet laugh. “No, I won’t be quitting my day job any time soon. Unless my boss fires me.”

“Not gonna happen,” Rachel assured her.

“Hey, you two, here come the Karlssons.” Serena pointed to the entrance.

Rachel watched Damian walk in with his parents and Jace. Damian’s parents, Mike and Sharon, were almost the same height, with Mike having only an inch or so on his wife. Damian and Jace, however, both towered over their parents. Jace still bore the look of youth since he was only in his early twenties, twelve years younger than Damian. His hair, the same blond as Damian’s, was clipped close to his head in a brush cut, and he sported a small stud in his left ear. Rachel wondered what his folks thought about it. She well remembered the furor over her brother’s desire to get his ear pierced.

“Hi, Serena.” Sharon reached them first and gave Serena a hug. “And Rachel, it’s so good to see you.”

Rachel stepped into Sharon’s motherly embrace, feeling her mom’s absence acutely. “It’s good to see you again too, Mrs. Karlsson.”

“And who is this young lady?”

“This is Mari Hewitt. She’s a new clerk in my store.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Mari. I’m Sharon Karlsson, Damian’s mom.”

The men joined them and introductions were made all around. Jace’s interest in Mari wasn’t lost on Rachel. They were close in age, so it wasn’t a big surprise that they gravitated towards each other.

As Serena had promised, it didn’t take long for the line to move forward, and soon they were at the cashier’s to pay for their meal. Before anyone could stop him, Damian had stepped up and paid for the whole lot of them.

“Damian, you shouldn’t have done that,” Rachel admonished him quietly. “We were prepared to pay for our own meals.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Damian said. “I enjoy doing this for you, all of you.” He leaned down. “And it’s not like I have a girlfriend to spend my money on.”

Warmth flooded Rachel’s cheeks, and she stepped back. “None of that today, Damian. Let’s just enjoy our meal.”

Damian smiled. “I plan to.”

They had to wait for a table to be prepared for them since they were a large group, but it wasn’t long till they were seated.

“Shall we say the blessing before anyone goes to get their food, so we can start eating as soon as we get back?” Damian asked.

“Sounds good,” Serena said with a nod. “Why don’t you go ahead and say it, Damian.”

They all bowed their heads as Damian prayed. “Father, thank you for bringing us together today. Help our fellowship to be uplifting to one another and glorifying to You. Bless this food we are about to partake of and bless the hands that prepared it. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Rachel echoed Damian’s amen, as did the others around the table then opened her eyes. They all rose, heading for the
buffet. Rachel hoped she could control herself, but her eyes were always bigger than her stomach when it came to places like this.

Back at the table ten minutes later it was apparent she wasn’t the only one with that problem. As the table occupants returned from the buffet, they exchanged sheepish looks as they slid plates heaped with food onto the table.

Somehow Rachel ended up seated next to Damian. He sat at the end of the table, and she was to his left. When they’d gotten up to go to the food, Serena had been the one sitting next to him, but now she sat where Rachel had originally been, leaving the seat next to Damian vacant.

“I don’t appreciate the maneuvering,” Rachel whispered as she leaned towards Serena.

Serena turned to her, an innocent look on her face. “Maneuvering?”

“This is your seat. You’re in mine.”