Quitting (previously published as Mastering the Art of Quitting) (32 page)

Extrinsic motivation,
45

Eyewitness accounts,
128

 

Failure, fear of,
9
,
92–93

and coping, action-vs. state-oriented,
98

and parent-child relationship,
92–93

Failure, followed by renewed effort,
2–3

Faulty memory,
128

Faux quit,
39–40
.
See also
Quitting, unsuccessful styles of

Fitzgerald, F. Scott,
183

Flexibility,
33–34
,
193
.
See also
Inflexibility

Flow,
160–164
,
191–192
,
195–196

and autotelic experience,
161–162

definition of,
160

and extrinsic and intrinsic goals,
161–162

factors necessary for,
162–163

and happiness,
160

and the self,
196

See also
Coherence, search for

Flow
(Csikszentmihalyi),
195

Fockenberg, David A.,
103

Focus, and attention to detail,
130

Focused distraction,
54

Forecasting,
72
,
110

affective forecasting,
66

Framing.
See
Goal framing/reframing

“From Weighing to Willing” (Gollwitzer),
204

Frost, Robert,
181

Frustration,
59

“Further Examining the American Dream” (Kasser and Ryan),
154

Future and present, balance of, and mental contrasting,
164–165
,
187

 

Gambling, and near win, and the brain,
14

Gender

and emotions,
119–120

and rumination,
119–120

“Getting A Grip on Your Feelings” (Koole and Jostmann),
101

Gilbert, Daniel,
64
,
65–66
,
69–70
,
73
,
110
,
143
,
182
,
186
,
207

Gilovic, Thomas,
180–182

“Give up completely,” ability to,
193

Goal disengagement

and affective disengagement,
58–61

and approach-avoidance theory,
85–92

and attachment theory,
86–92

and behavioral disengagement,
61–64

characteristics of,
9
,
43

and cognitive disengagement,
53–58

conflicting goals without, harmful effects of,
49–51

definition of,
5

and goal reengagement,
54
,
150

and inability to disengage, unhealthy side effects of,
5

levels of,
53

and motivational disengagement (“getting back on the horse” or “putting your ducks in a row”),
61

and self-regulation,
96–97

strategies,
190–192

and stress,
90
,
97–98

See also
Artful quitting
;
Disengagement
;
Goals
;
Quitting

Goal framing/reframing,
132–133
,
135–136
,
204

and approach and avoidance goals,
94

and goal mapping,
158

and regret,
182

and self-definition,
198–199

See also
Goals

Goal mapping

and approach and avoidance goals,
158

and conflict or congruence,
156–158

and extrinsic or intrinsic goals,
153–156

and flow,
160–164

and goal reframing,
158

and goals, deepening understanding of,
158–160

importance of,
151–152

and listing and organizing,
152–153

and mental contrasting,
164–167
,
167–168

and prioritizing,
158–160

samples,
171
,
172

See also
Goals

Goal pursuit

and automaticity,
27–30

and motivation,
168–169

stages of,
202

See also
Goals

Goal reengagement,
193

and abstract thinking,
199–200

and blocked path,
199

and goal disengagement,
54
,
150

and goals, achievement of,
202

and optimism,
200–201

and quitting,
212–213

and the self,
196–200

See also
Goals

Goal setting,
131–140

and conflicting goals,
131
,
137–140

conscious,
124

consequences of,
59

and goal framing,
132–133
,
135–136

and “goals gone wild,”
131

and “high bar” goals,
131–132
,
133–140

and performance goals,
135

and single-mindedness,
136–137

See also
Goals

Goal(s)

abstract goals,
46

achievement goals,
46
,
88–89
,
153

achievement of, and automaticity,
205

achievement of, and implementation intention,
203–206

achievement of, and mind-set,
202–203

achievement of, and planning,
202

achievement of, and reengagement,
202

and attainability, factors that determine,
164

and automaticity,
145

career, work, and relationship,
152–153

and coherence and meaning, search for,
194–196

concrete goals,
46

conscious goals,
145
,
147
,
206

deepening understanding of, and goal mapping,
158–160

definition of,
45

and discernment,
213

disengagement (
See
Goal disengagement
)

exercise,
79

framing/reframing (
see
Goal framing/reframing
)

and happiness, and the self,
194

and identity,
140–143
,
144–145

importance of,
45

kinds of,
45–48

learning goals,
132
,
135
,
153

life goals,
152

mapping (
see
Goal mapping
)

mastery goals,
46

and moods,
147–150

multiple,
134

nonconscious,
148–149

observations about,
4–5

performance goals,
135

pursuit of (
see
Goal pursuit
)

reengagement (
see
Goal reengagement
)

and the self, and happiness,
194

and self-talk study,
168–169

setting (
see
Goal setting
)

short-term, mid-term, and long-term,
46

and “Will I,” “I will” experiment,
168–169

writing down (
see
Goal mapping
)

See also
Approach goals
;
Avoidance goals
;
Conflicting goals
;
Extrinsic goals
;
Intrinsic goals
;
“High bar” goals

“Goals gone wild,”
131

Gollwitzer, Peter M.,
202–203
,
204–205
,
206

Gorilla experiment,
127–129
,
130

The Great Gatsby
(Fitzgerald),
183

 

Happiness

and conflicting goals,
156

and extrinsic goals,
154–155

factors that affect,
206–209

and flow,
160

and goals, and the self,
194

and happiness set point,
206
,
207
,
209

and intentional activity,
206
,
207–209

and life circumstances,
206–209

Happiness, predicting future,
64–70

and above-average effect,
65–66
,
67

and bias blind spot,
65

and complicated vs. uncomplicated events, reaction to,
68

four aspects of,
66

and hypothetical situations, reaction to,
67–69

and impact bias,
69–70

and psychological immune system,
69–70

and uniqueness,
65–66

See also
Expectation

Happiness set point,
206
,
207
,
209

Hartzell, Mary,
108
,
109

Harvard Business Review,
21

Harvard Law School,
81

Health,
5

and conflicting goals,
49–51

and stress,
118

Heatherton, Todd F.,
57
,
60

“High bar” goals,
131–132
,
133–140

and intrinsic motivation,
134

and learning goals,
132

and lying and cheating,
132
,
134

and multiple goals,
134

and pinto story,
133–134

and risk taking,
134

and time limit,
134

See also
Goals

High-demand/threatening situation,
98

Hypothetical situations, reaction to,
67–69

 

Iacocca, Lee,
133–134

Identity,
140–143
,
194

and transition, cost of,
144–145

See also
the Self

Impact bias,
69–70
,
207

Implemental mind-set,
202–203
,
205

Implementation intention,
203–206

and automaticity,
206

See also
Planning

Impulsivity, vs. self-control experiment,
113–115

Inadequacy,
59

Individual difference,
66

Indulging,
74–75
,
164–165
,
166–167
.
See also
Mental contrasting

Inflexibility,
31–32
.
See also
Flexibility

Insecure attachment,
87
,
88–89
,
90–91
,
173

and self-regulation,
100

See also
Attachment theory

Intellectual growth,
112–113

Intentional activity,
206
,
207–209

Intentional blindness,
128–129
,
130

Intermittent reinforcement,
17–19

Into Thin Air
(Krakauer),
134

Intrinsic goals,
105–107
,
194
,
213

and conflicting goals,
157

definition of,
45–46

and flow,
161–162

and goal mapping,
153–156

See also
Extrinsic goals
;
Goals

Intrinsic motivation,
45

and “high bar” goals,
134

Intrusive thoughts,
146–147

and anxious attachment,
90

and cognitive disengagement,
53–55
,
57–58

See also
Thought and emotion, regulation of

Intuition,
12
,
105

Intuitive affect regulation,
99

Invisible gorilla experiment,
127–129
,
130

Ironic monitoring process,
30
,
54
,
146

 

Jackson, Benita,
120

Jobs, Steve,
3

 

Kahneman, Daniel,
21
,
24
,
179–181

Kasser, Tim,
154

King, Laura,
49–50

King, Stephen,
3

Klinger, Eric,
59

Koole, Sander L.,
103

Krakauer, Jon,
134

Kuhl, Julius,
100

 

LaFrance, Marianne,
67–68

Latham, Gary P.,
131
,
134

Learning curve, and quitting,
122–124

Learning goals,
132
,
135
,
153
.
See also
Goals

Lench, Heather C.,
91

Levin, Daniel T.,
130

Levine, Linda, J.,
91

Life circumstances,
206–209

Life goals (personal strivings),
152
.
See also
Goals

Life Orientation Test,
201

Life stage, and quitting,
82–83

Lin, Daniel,
65

Linville, Patricia,
196–199

Locke, Edwin A.,
131
,
135

Loss aversion,
24–25
,
180

Lottery winners,
71–72

Lovallo, Dan,
21