Loving You Always (3 page)

Y
ou know that Bennett boy is on TV tonight,” a customer said, leafing through a rack of sundresses Kerris had found at a Charleston yard sale.

Kerris’s hands hovered over the display of hats she was straightening. She had no idea what the customer was talking about. Kerris had heard Walsh’s name so little since the funeral, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t thought about him, because she had even when she didn’t want to.

“You want those hats from the back, too, Lil’ Bit?” Mama Jess asked from the door to the storage room, turning back at Kerris’s affirmative nod and affectionate smile.

Kerris had wasted no time persuading Meredith they needed help at Déjà Vu. Getting Mama Jess out of Walmart and away from the tyrannical Bonaparte wannabe had been easy. Mama Jess had brought new life to the shop over the last month. She’d brought new life to Kerris.

“You gonna watch?” Meredith repositioned a few scarves.

Kerris glanced up over the pile of hats with a clueless smile pasted on her mouth.

“Watch what?”

Meredith shot Kerris a knowing glance. “The
Pinnacle
interview.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know.
Pinnacle
, the TV magazine that has the ‘30 Under 30 List’ each year. Walsh made the list, and they’re airing his interview tonight.”

Mama Jess walked up to them with a small mountain of hats.

“Who’s Walsh?”

The back of Kerris’s neck tingled and sweat broke out on her palms. Mama Jess was as sharp-eyed as they came. Kerris had noticed the considering look on Mama Jess’s face every time she saw Kerris and Cam together. Mama Jess knew something was amiss in their marriage, but hadn’t asked about it…yet. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t.

Cam remained mercurial. Coming home one day cooing over her belly, kissing her sweetly, encouraging her to put her feet up and rest while he unpacked food he’d picked up on the way home. And then the next day he’d be curt, demanding, and withdrawn. It added a thin layer of anxiety over the concerns Kerris already had, but she didn’t know what to do about it. She hadn’t contacted Walsh, and he hadn’t reached out to them. He really was staying out of their lives. It was the only way this marriage could work, but Cam couldn’t seem to let that moment between Walsh and Kerris go. And if Kerris were completely honest, neither could she.

Mama Jess was still looking at Kerris, waiting for her answer.

“Walsh is just a friend of Cam’s.” Kerris took the hats from her.

“His best friend, isn’t he?” The customer who’d originally mentioned the interview inquired from across the room.

Big ears
.

“He hasn’t been back to Rivermont since his mother passed, though,” another well-meaning customer chimed in.

“His mother? Who was his mother?” Mama Jess asked.

“Um, Kristeene Bennett.” Kerris started displaying the hats.

Who in Rivermont didn’t know Kristeene Bennett? The community had memorialized the woman with park benches, hospital wings, cobblestones, a new street sign, and even a sandwich that bore her name.

“Isn’t he the one who was kidnapped a while back?” Mama Jess asked.

Kerris only nodded. She didn’t want to think about Walsh, and certainly didn’t want to watch some stupid interview that screamed he had moved on and was doing just fine without her.

It was perverse. She knew that. She knew they should have no contact, and in spite of the miracle growing inside of her, in spite of her marriage being semi-intact, in spite of her thriving business and her growing passion for her river stone jewelry—she
missed
Walsh. So much. It was a private ache she rarely even acknowledged to herself.

“Yeah, that’s Walsh.” Meredith gave Kerris a sharp glance. “He and Cam grew up together.”

Kerris couldn’t be in this conversation a moment longer.

“Do you ladies mind if I knock off a little early?” She reached around to the small of her back, massaging a fake ache. “My back hurts and my ankles are swollen.”

Mama Jess glanced at Kerris’s slim ankles in her strappy sandals.

“Your ankles look fine to me.”

“No, they’re definitely puffy.” Kerris grabbed her purse. “I think I just need to lie down.”

“Of course, Lil’ Bit.” Mama Jess pushed Kerris’s hair back from her face. “Go on home. Put your feet up. Have some of that lemonade I fixed when I came over last night. And there was some corn pudding and baked chicken left over. You go on home and rest.”

Kerris ignored the twinge of guilt Mama Jess’s consideration pricked inside her.

“Thanks, Mama Jess.”

“Maybe you can even watch that interview tonight, too,” Mama Jess said to Kerris’s back as she headed to the door.

Kerris stiffened and glanced over her shoulder at Mama Jess with narrowed eyes. Mama Jess offered an innocent smile that reminded Kerris just who she was dealing with.

Fifteen minutes later, Kerris entered the cottage, drawing in an air-conditioned breath. She started a bath, padding to the kitchen to check Mama Jess’s leftovers. Cam had been working late a lot, and Mama Jess was often her dinner companion.

She sank into the vanilla-scented bubbles, letting them creep around her bare neck and shoulders. She allowed herself thoughts of Walsh. He was a glass of wine in her bath; heady, intoxicating. A forbidden pleasure as she lay swollen with Cam’s child; a guilty indulgence that could endanger the things she wanted most.

She looked at her belly poking through the suds, smiling even while she blinked back tears. She shouldn’t feel lonely. She was surrounded by friends who loved her. Living with a husband who had once said he’d never let her go. With the baby she’d always dreamed about steadily blooming inside of her. Was she so hard to satisfy? Even now, her body responded to the thought of Walsh touching her.

She closed her eyes, her skin heating in the cooling bath. She fled the tub as if she were being chased. And maybe she was. Chased by the memory of his touch, of his concern, his understanding.

She dried off, slipping on her ancient red kimono, tying it loosely over her baby bump and leaving her feet bare. And then exhaustion caught up with her. Her swollen ankles might have been fictional, but the bone deep fatigue that seemed to characterize this last trimester was real.

She napped for two hours, not stirring once, and got up feeling more refreshed, running her fingers through the drying curls skimming her shoulders. She grabbed her plate of leftovers and headed toward the television. She didn’t watch much TV, but she did know that
Pinnacle
came on in ten minutes. She pretended to watch the local news in the meantime, her heart beating like she was about to see Walsh in person. Like an eclipse of moths had been let loose in her belly, and their madly flapping wings feathered her insides. She sat through the
Pinnacle
title package and the lead up. There were actually five others being featured tonight, and they saved Walsh for last.

“When we first took notice of this guy,” the pretty, polished interviewer said, “he was Sofie Baston’s plus one. Of course, he is handsome and comes from a prominent family, and is following in his father’s business footsteps, but what intrigues us about him is his big heart. We sat down with the confirmed bachelor who has captured our imagination over the last few years. I’m sure it’ll be clear to everyone why Walsh Bennett is on our ‘30 Under 30 List.’”

During her introduction, they cut to b-roll of Walsh walking a red carpet with Sofie, playing soccer with a group of children in Kenya, and blocking a camera’s view as he left the church after Kristeene’s funeral. Finally it cut to Walsh sitting down with the interviewer in what looked like a tropical location. A small, if guarded, smile played around his full mouth. His high cheekbones seemed more prominent than the last time she’d seen him. He’d lost some weight, but his tanned skin still stretched beautifully across the bones of his face. The smooth dark brows slashed over the penetrating green eyes. He wore a white polo shirt over his usual shabby designer cargo shorts.

“It’s been quite a year, huh?” The interviewer’s name, Shelby Jennings, flashed on-screen.

“Yep.” Walsh’s smile was no help, as if he wanted her to know she would have to work for this.

“I mean, kidnapped in Haiti and then a heroic rescue engineered by your father.”

“You make it sound so dramatic.” Walsh accompanied his sardonic tone with an equally sardonic smile.

“Well, your family is very prominent in this country, and for a few days we didn’t know if you were dead or alive. The world was transfixed.”

Walsh’s smile died a quick death.

“No, a small portion of the world was transfixed. Most of the world was worried about finding clean water to drink and food to eat.”

Shelby’s hollow laugh showed some of her discomfort with Walsh’s serious response.

“Well, you know what I mean.” She laughed again, her second laugh as forced as the first. “Speaking of your family, we were all sorry to hear about your mother’s passing.”

Walsh acknowledged the canned condolence with a quick nod, his features not even tweaking with the pain Kerris knew must still lay just beneath the surface.

“She was a remarkable woman. She did so much for orphans all over the world.” Shelby’s face creased with just the right amount of sympathy and respect. “Your father is a titan in the business world. Is it hard to balance the business side of your life with your philanthropic interests?”

“Not at all. It’s how I grew up. Working in acquisitions with my father is like an adrenaline rush for me. And serving with my family’s foundation makes me feel like I’m part of something bigger than myself. I enjoy both.”

“Now, you were dating Sofie Baston not too long ago, and then it seemed to end abruptly.”

Shelby quieted, obviously hoping Walsh would elaborate, but he did not. He looked back at her, waiting for an actual question.

“Well, I just wondered what happened there,” Shelby pressed.

“Most people don’t realize Sofie and I grew up together.” Walsh lifted one side of his mouth in a near-grin. “Our families have been friends for thirty years. Our fathers are business partners. So, we did date for a while, but our friendship goes back a long way. She’s still the goodwill ambassador for the Walsh Foundation. She’s a great girl, and I have only good things to say about her. I think she’d say the same about me.”

“Yes, well, there was a lot of speculation that maybe there was someone else.”

Again Walsh offered only an unblinking stare, his mouth a straight, neutral line. He shifted, propping his elbow on the arm of the chair and tucking his chin into the palm of his hand, waiting for Shelby to continue.

“
Is
there someone else?” Shelby asked, her eyes braver than the uncertain tone of her voice.

Walsh paused, glancing down before looking back at Shelby. Kerris wondered if anyone else detected the shutters he had just pulled over his eyes.

“Like you said, it’s been quite a year. I haven’t had a lot of time for much besides work and doing my part with the foundation.”

“So there’s no one special?” Shelby fished, using her grin as bait.

“There are many special women in the world.” Walsh offered a scrap metal smile, giving Shelby nothing new to work with. “Just not for me right now.”

“If you
were
ready for your someone special, what would she be like?”

Walsh lowered a thick fan of lashes, concealing his eyes. Concealing his thoughts. For a moment it seemed he wouldn’t answer Shelby’s question, but then he looked back up, and there was an unexpected intensity in his eyes.

“She’d be compassionate. She’d be someone with a strong sense of what’s right, and doing what is right, no matter what. She’d be loyal and fearless.”

Shelby leaned forward, obviously thrilled that the usually reticent Walsh Bennett was revealing so much.

“And beautiful?”

“It would be incidental.” Walsh pushed his broad shoulders into a dismissive shrug. “The qualities I’d be looking for are…elusive. Rare.”

“Have you ever met a woman who embodied all these things?”

“Yes,” Walsh said without pause, his face a riddle no one would be able to solve. His quick smile, the answer. “My mother.”

Kerris hastily wiped the tears she hadn’t meant to shed. She turned the TV off, jumping at the sound of Al Green crooning “Call Me (Come Back Home),” the ring tone Cam had chosen for his phone. She doubted he had one song from this century in his collection. If it wasn’t on vinyl, he didn’t want it. She glanced around the room, searching for his phone before she realized the sound was coming from the office. She grabbed it in case he was calling looking for it. The ringing stopped abruptly, replaced by the ding signaling he had a new text message.

I told you I had something special for you. Call me when you get this.

A picture came through of a blonde, her face partially obscured by the T-shirt she was raising to expose her naked breasts. Nausea tensed the muscles of Kerris’s stomach. She swallowed a lump comprised of hurt and shame and inadequacy and indignation. They had barely been intimate over the last few weeks. She’d thought it was the pregnancy and the memory of Walsh between them, but maybe this was the real reason.

Was this how Cam felt when he walked in on that kiss? Betrayed? Angry? Helpless?

A car door slammed. Kerris peered through the office window. Cam climbed out of his pride and joy, the Land Rover Kristeene had left him. He stopped by the battered old Camry Kerris insisted on keeping, inspecting the tires and frowning before heading down the walk toward the cottage door.

“Ker, I’m home.” She heard Cam open the refrigerator and then the stove. “I’m starving. You cook or want me to order something?”

Kerris walked toward the kitchen, looking for the wisdom and the strength to handle this properly. She watched Cam riffling through the menus in the junk drawer.

“You need new tires, by the way. I’ll get ’em.” Cam studied a menu and patted the pocket of the jeans hanging low on his lean hips. “You hungry? I’m gonna call my order in.”