Hot Cooking Spanker Wanted (8 page)

It
was four AM but I didn't want to go to bed. I checked my e-mails
again. He had written several since this afternoon. My agent had
written too. She wanted the first chapter to the second part of the
book that they were going to film. I laid down and reread the first
book. I knew it forward and backwards, but still, rereading it would
get me in the mood to start wanting to write about it again.

Several
ideas came as I read. I wrote them down on a pad. I fell asleep while
reading. I just nodded off for a second but that was always my sign
to quit. I turned off my computer before it fell on the floor and
then I changed into pajamas. My life had gotten back to normal.

I
noticed the huge ink blotch on my sheets and pajamas fairly quickly
the next morning. My comforter was full of it too. Great. I showered
and dressed and went to the store to buy hairspray. I got a couple of
other things too so my cupboards wouldn't look so bare.

I
cleaned up my mess and everything came out nicely, considering. My
comforter was just too big to fit in my wash machine. I sprayed it
full of hairspray and went to the laundromat. I took my laptop along
so I could at least continue reading while I waited. I was back to,
waste no time, me.

I
sat off in a corner as I waited. I was so involved in my reading that
I didn't notice a couple who had come in until I heard them talking.
The woman was expecting a baby. He sat her down on a chair and she
gave him instructions on how to sort by color. It was nice to watch.
They might end up in one of my books one day. It would be a love
story.

I
collected my things and glanced at them one last time before I left.
They were both reading parenting books. I left with a smile on my
face.

I
hadn't been able to find a parking spot close by, so I walked down
the sidewalk the couple of blocks to my car, just enjoying being out
of the house. I needed to get out again. My things felt baggy. My
jeans were too loose and my blouse also looked a size too large. No
one would be able to tell because of the thick heavy blanket I was
carrying. The one thing I knew about weight was that it was quickly
gained back.

As
I approached my car I saw Ryan leaning against it. Of all the rotten
luck. He was looking up and down the street. He hadn't spotted me yet
but he would in a second.

I
stood perfectly still as I thought about a way out of this. I could
just buy a new car. That seemed to be the best idea. Was there a
dealership around here?

I
could call the police. They could get rid of him and then I could buy
a new car tomorrow. The problem with that is that I didn't own a
mobile phone. I was always at home. I never needed one.

I
could keep my head held high and just get in and drive off. I didn't
see his car around. He wouldn't be able to follow me. Maybe he
slashed my tires or maybe he would jump in the moment I unlocked the
doors.

I
longed for the good old days when the driver had to lean over and
lift up the passenger's door lock, by hand. That was the problem with
being a writer you could see too many alternatives. When I focused
back on him it was to see him staring back at me. Hide and seek
wasn't my forte. Damn, I had lost my chance to run.

He
started walking towards me. My face must have resembled the scream
portrait. I was frozen.

He
stopped a couple of paces in front of me. For once he wasn't smiling.
“Can I help you with that?”

I
shook my head and I took a step to the left and so did he. I was
starting to shake again. I wasn't meeting his eye. I just wanted to
get away from him, so badly.

“
Did
you read any of my e-mails?”

I
took a step to the right. Again he mirrored me. I felt tears
building. As well as a lump in my throat.

“
You
still have some stuff at my place. If you want we can meet someplace
neutral. I could give them back then.”

I
walked past him as quick as I dared. He was right on my heels. I
tried to pretend that he wasn't there. I put the comforter in the
trunk and closed it quickly.

I
was about to get in when he blocked the way again. I continued to
look down. If I could just ignore him no matter what then he would
get bored and leave me alone.

“
I'm
so sorry. It was all my fault.” He opened the door for me, and I
got in right away.

I
removed my laptop purse and set it on the passenger's seat. I reached
over to close the door. He held it tight.

“
You
deserve a better guy than me. Keep that in mind.” He closed the
door for me, but my hand wasn't out of the way yet. My hand bent back
the way it shouldn't. I gasped in pain and held my wrist close to my
heart with my other hand wrapped around it.

He
opened the door and crouched down. “What kind of an ass, am I? I
can't believe I hurt you again. Let me see. I'll bring you to the
hospital. Please, Katherine, let me see it.”

I
just sat there crying. This was just too much for me. I had enough
material to write a book about a stalker. I could even see that one
being filmed too. 'Now isn't the time to let your mind wonder!' I
scolded myself. I still had to get away from him.

“
Katherine,
believe me I am so sorry. So terribly sorry. I can't believe what I
did to you and now this on top of everything else. Please, stop
crying. It was my fault. I can't begin to tell you how great you are.
You even told me that you felt I talked down to you. I know you are
perfectly capable of taking your car into the shop, and cooking
fantastic meals for yourself. You just have other interests than I
do, and I have to learn to except that. I am the one who needs to
better themselves, not you. You never hurt me on purpose. I'm the bad
guy here. Not you.”

I
couldn't believe how much he sounded like the man in my book. He said
the same crap to his wife every time she wanted to leave him. The
only things missing, were for him to promise me diverse gifts the
promise, to never do it again, or he would turn himself into the
police personally if he were to ever hurt me again (the husband in my
book never turned himself in). He hurts her again and again.

“
Katherine,
do you need x-rays?”

I
shook my head while still keeping it bowed.

“
I
would feel better if a doctor looked at it.”

“
This
isn't about you feeling better. Just leave me alone.” I kept my
head down.

He
nodded and stepped away from the door. He closed it very slowly and
carefully this time. I went home and put a bag of frozen peas on my
swollen wrist. It wasn't working. If anything I felt even worse. An
hour later I went to the hospital. It was hard to drive with just one
hand. I had a stick shift. No one had one nowadays but they were
normal in Germany, so I was in the habit.

I
walked into the hospital and registered. They had me wait for what
felt like forever. I should have brought my laptop in with me but I
couldn't type this way anyway. I watched water dripping from my bag
of no longer frozen peas to my now very wet jeans.

“
I
saw your car outside. I figured I had broken it.” He stood there
shaking his head at himself.

“
Stalking
laws?” That was all I could get out.

“
Of
course, you want me to leave. I'll go right away. I just want to say
that I will be paying for this. All the costs. Even the pay you would
be missing out on.”

I
got up and moved several chairs away from him.

The
doctor came out and got me personally. I was glad he didn't say my
name aloud. “You don't look how I pictured you.”

Ryan
was watching very closely. I wished he would just go home.

“
How
did you picture me?” I asked him as he was lifting up my bag of
peas.

“
I
thought you would be older than me, at least. We're going to have to
x-ray this. It might be broken.” The doctor led me away to be
x-rayed. I didn't have to wait again. The doctor told everyone who I
was. They were bending over backwards to please me. I just wanted the
pain to go away. I was fighting not to cry. I wished I was a nobody
so I could just be a baby. They put my wrist in a bulky brace. It was
only sprained but it hurt like hell.

I
had to go out to the waiting room. Ryan was sitting far away but he
was still there. He was pretending not to notice me too.

The
doctor came out with my prescription. He gave me the paper. “Take
one every eight hours. Keep it elevated and cool it the next couple
of days.”

“
When
can I work again?”

“
In
two weeks. Make an appointment for then and then we'll see. Maybe you
can find someone to type for you.”

“
That
won't work. I'm working on the second part. It's top secret. I'm not
allowed to let anyone know what I'm working on.”

“
You're
right. No one could be trusted with that information. They could sell
it on the net.”

I
nodded extremely disappointed. “Thank you for everything.”

“
No
wait. I'm not finished. You can't mix the medicine with alcohol. And
no driving.”

I
nodded again.

The
doctor left and Ryan jumped up like a jack in the box. He took me
lightly by my elbow and led me out the door.

My
agent wanted those chapters and I couldn't work. I couldn't
disappoint her. It just wasn't in me to not deliver as expected.
There had to be some way to do what was expected of me. I hadn't even
started. I felt just terrible. I should have started in right away.
On the day the movie deal was closed. But no I went to him instead.

Ryan
brought me to my car. “I'll drive you to the pharmacy and then
home. I'll make you something to eat. Do we need to go shopping
first?”

“
I
have a deadline. I can't be taking any medicine that is going to make
me be out of it. I really have to hurry.” I opened my car and got
in. I looked at my arm and thought about how I was supposed to drive.

“
Katherine,
I'll drive you.”

“
No,
I can do this. He meant no driving after taking the medicine.” I
tried to get hold of the wheel but the brace just made it worse. I
gave up, grabbed my laptop from the seat next to me, and I got out of
the car and locked it. “I'll take a taxi.” I looked around for a
phone. Maybe I should get a cell.

“
I'm
really sorry. Let me help you a little. Just a little.”

I
was sick with worry already. I had that stupid womanly trait of
always having to please. I was close to being hysterical. If I would
have just put the lid on the pen last night then this wouldn't have
happened. I could be safe at home writing like I should be doing. I
was crying again.

Ryan
was following me around as I paced back and forth, and held on to my
laptop like it was a matter of national security.

I
turned again and we were standing face to face. I leaned back away
from him. “Why are you still here?”

“
Because
you need me.” He looked like that was the dumbest question he had
ever had to answer.

“
You
mean because you think I'm not capable of taking care of myself. Just
like you think I'm not capable of closing a car door! Just leave me
alone before I trip over you or something.”

He
grabbed hold of me and pulled me close. “Go ahead and cry. Just let
it all out. I'm here for you.”

“
Just
let go. If you want to help me point me to the nearest phone.”

Ryan
brought me to his car. He opened the door for me. He waited without
saying a word.

My
face was tear streaked already. This was going to end up being a
nervous break down. I got in just to get this over with. He went
around to his side and started the car. He drove to a pharmacy. I got
out and got my medicine. He followed at my heels.

He
held the door open for me again. I got in and he drove to his place.
He walked around and held the door open. I got out and he brought me
inside.

“
You
can have my bedroom.”

“
No,
thank you,” I said as strictly as I could.

He
got a glass of water and then he started to read about my medicine.
“You shouldn't take them on an empty stomach. What would you like?”

“
Usage
of both hands.” Was I ever pissed at him in the meantime.

“
Oh
good, you're not being picky today. So whatever I have is fine.” He
stormed into the kitchen and started cooking away. I could hear pots
being moved around and the refrigerator door opening and closing.

I
sat down on the sofa again and started to cry. To really, really cry.
I was hugging my laptop as if it was a lifesaver and I was lost at
sea.

He
came out with a plate of what looked like tuna helper. I glanced at
it and then back at him.

“
You
have to get your medicine in you as quickly as possible.” He held
it out to me. I slowly let go of my computer I shoved it in between
the arm of the sofa and my body. I wiped my tears away and took the
plate. I ate until he announced that I had enough food in me to take
my medicine. I took my pill and swallowed it quickly. He watched me
closely as I finished eating. I on the other hand looked everywhere
but in his direction.