Hot Cooking Spanker Wanted (19 page)

“
Whoa
here. Hold on. What is all of this about?”

She
was closing the door.

I
jumped over the box and got my fingers in the door before she could
close it. “You may have said your piece, but I sure haven't said
mine.” I pushed the door open and she went flying. She wasn't
saying anything. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

She
had fallen on her backside, but she had gotten up in the meantime.
“Please, just leave.” She was backing away from me.

“
This
doesn't work this way. You can't just say it's over, and expect me to
say 'okay' and just leave.”

She
still wasn't saying anything. Didn't she care about me at all? I
loved her so much.

“
Aren't
you going to say anything?” I was getting so mad at her.

She
shook her head.

Something
snapped in me and I grabbed onto her. She looked like she expected
it. Her eyes were squinted shut and she had her face turned away from
me as much as she could.

That
was when it hit me. Katherine had just used me for her book. She
didn't need me anymore. She didn't want me and she never had.

I
pulled her over to the sofa and sat down, as she fought to get away
from me. I had her over my knees right quick. She was fighting, but
she just wasn't a match for my strength. I started in smacking hard.
She still fought to get away from me but she had it coming in the
worst way.

“
How
dare you. You little beast. You used me from the beginning for that
lame book, that no one is going to read because it is just
depressing. What did you think? That you would get a Pulitzer for it?
You little fool. You just can't treat people like that.” I smacked
at her with all of my strength and I hoped that she was in a lot of
pain. I pushed her off of my knees when I couldn't stand the touch of
her anymore. She hadn't made a peep while I was spanking her, but I
could see now that she was crying. Good, I thought as I stepped over
her to leave. I slammed the door on the way out. I picked up my box
and left as mad as I had ever been in life.

I
put my box in my car and drove to my apartment. I hoped no one could
see me because I just couldn't stop myself from crying either. It
hadn't made sense from the beginning that someone like her would want
me. Madness turned to sadness.

She
had probably found someone better than me. I should have expected
something like this. But I didn't, I hadn't seen it coming. I was
such an idiot. And to top it off I hadn't taken the news well. I'd be
lucky if she didn't call the cops on me.

I
parked in front of my apartment and carried my box in. There were
mostly pots and pans in there, as well as a toothbrush and this and
that from the bathroom. I had made myself at home at her place. I had
loved it there, and I had loved making love to her. I was going to
miss her so much. I had planned on spending my life with her, and
just with her.

I
needed to make new plans. But I couldn't even think about moving on
at the moment. I needed a chance to lick my wounds.

I
had slept at my own place then drove myself to the airport. I was
glad that the reporters couldn't bug me past security. I had ignored
them before that. I boarded and read a newspaper that I had bought at
a newsstand at the airport. Well, I pretended to, but in my mind I
just replaying everything that had past between us. I kept on
picturing her as the honest, sweet and wonderful person that she had
always been.

She
needed me. Why was she pushing me away again? Was this a game or a
test? Had I failed it if it had been one?

The
thing is that I needed her too. From the moment I laid eyes on her I
had been hooked. I wanted her to be a permanent part of my life. How
was I going to survive without her?

Reporters
were waiting for me at the hotel. They asked about Katherine. The
moment had come to admit that we were over. The cameras were once
again flashing. “She's just fine. I just came from her.” I ducked
away and went up to my room to be alone. I laid down on the bed and
again thought about what I had lost.

I
threw myself in my work. Katherine hadn't told anyone that we had
split up. I wasn't saying anything either but I got asked about her
at every turn.

The
premiere of the movie was coming up soon. That meant a lot of
interviews and people were expecting us to walked down the red carpet
together. My parents were going to be there. I had told them the
truth. My mom tried to call her daily, but she never answered her
phone.

I'd
be lying if I said that I hadn't called her either. She could see who
was calling her on her display. She didn't answer when she didn't
want to. I had seen her do that with her mom, too. A ringing phone
didn't bother her. It had bothered me so much that I had answered and
talked to her mother a couple of times. She had usually complained
about Katherine. I guess mothers did know best.

No,
that hadn't been right. I hadn't liked her mother, no matter what.
She hadn't cared about Katherine. She had been shallow. I would be
meeting them at the premiere. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I
still thought that it was weird that she hadn't told anyone that we
weren't together anymore. What was I to make of that? Did it mean
that there was hope or was it just because she lived so secluded?
Katherine would figure that she knew and that was enough.

The
problem was that I just couldn't say something like that aloud
without choking up. I wasn't even close to being over her. She had
been the one. The one I wanted forever.

My
manager informed me that the cast and author were going to give an
interview. They wanted the two of us to sit in the middle. He told me
to be prepared to talk about our private life as well.

I
wondered what Katherine was going to say about that. Everyone loved
the behind the scene love story. This would be bad publicity for the
movie.

Did
Katherine care about something like that? She didn't need the money
that the movie would be bringing in. I had wanted that money so I
could make a home for us. I imagined her sitting at the kitchen table
typing away while I cooked something nice for her and the kids. I had
seen two or three running around. Katherine would have closed her
laptop and grabbed a couple of kids and made them wash their little
tiny hands before they came to the table.

I
was so depressed.

The
premiere was two days away. Crowds of people were camped out in front
of the hotel. They screamed out my name as I got out of my brand new
car and waved at them. A bell boy took my bags and a valet drove off
with my car. I hoped that that would go well. I wasn't used to things
like this. I signed a few autographs on my way in.

“
Where's
Katherine?” they called out to me. She wasn't here yet. Or would
she pull a no show.

“
We
are coming from different directions.” I went in and checked in.
They put me in a room next to my parents. They were already here. I
went right up to say hi to them.

My
mom hugged he and told me how well I was holding up. I didn't agree
with that but it was nice to hear. I was a nervous wreck, worrying
about seeing her in a moment. Would I have a chance to make up with
her beforehand. I would have liked to know what went wrong. If it was
something I did, or didn't do.

My
dad was giving me a look like, he thought, that I had done something
I wasn't telling them about. “I really haven't got a clue and she
wouldn't say. She just said it was over, here's your stuff.”

“
That
just doesn't sound like her.” Great my mom was on her side, too.

“
Did
you do something you shouldn't have, and you think that she couldn't
know about it?”

“
No.”
Why wouldn't they just lay off of me? I was sure that I didn't do
anything. I fell into a chair and let our last conversations go
through my mind. Everything had been perfect. “I can only think
that she has someone else. Nothing else could explain this all.”

We
heard screams outside and looked out of the window. The crowds were
calling out to Katherine. She was really here. I pictured her scared
of the crowds. She wasn't used to this crap and she wouldn't like it.
She needed me and she wouldn't let me go to her.

Then
my mind changed to a different thought. What if she had her new flame
with her? Could I blow him out of the water? I would try.

The
screaming was still going on. These were the people, who loved her
books and wanted to see the person behind it all. She was the brain
of this whole production.

I
cleared my throat and moved away from the window, once the screaming
stopped. I didn't get a chance to see her but she was obviously here.
Should I go hang out in the lobby? Reporters were probably waiting
for just that. They would want a photo of us kissing each other
hello. I imagined her walking past me like she didn't see me.

I
sulked by my parents until it was time to go to the interview.
Katherine would be there so I made sure that I looked good. I wanted
to impress her.

They
sent me into make up. I saw Katherine off in the corner. Her manager
was scolding her there. “You aren't writing anything, you show up
here looking like shit and now you tell me that you split with him.
This is like suicide for your career.”

“
I
don't care,” she answered.

“
That
is exactly how you look. We need to get someone in here to fix you
up. I don't believe this and my day was going so well.” She stepped
past Katherine and looked right at me.

“
Would
you be willing to pretend that everything is okay between you too?”

I
wasn't sure if she was talking to me or Katherine but I nodded.

“
I'm
not sure after everything that happened.” Katherine turned to look
at her manager. Then she saw me. She looked awful. Like when she was
sick. I was fighting the urge to walk over to her and lay my hand on
her forehead.

“
What
happened? You wouldn't even tell me.” I shrugged and hoped I looked
hopeless, so she would take pity on me and tell me what I wasn't
getting.

“
Nothing
happened.” Her head had been hung before, but now she straightened
right up. “We can pretend. I just need a little help with my make
up.” She was even getting a bit of coloring back.

“
Is
this fixable? You two could just kiss and make up,” her manager
suggested. As always with that woman, her eyes were full of dollar
signs when she looked at Katherine.

Katherine
shook her head. She sat down in front of one of the mirrors and
looked off to the side. She was fuming.

Her
manager called in the make-up lady and started listing off the things
that Katherine needed done. Mostly around the eyes. She wasn't doing
well. Had her new guy dumped her? I leaned against the table next to
hers and looked at her. She was avoiding my eye. But still I could
see that she looked tired and like she had been crying.

The
lady doing her make up was plastering foundation on her.

“
I'm
just getting over a bad cold, that's all.” She was pretending to be
so brave. Was this about us or not? Had she gotten a taste of her own
medicine, and realized how bitter it was? Would I still take her back
if she came crawling to me?

Yes,
I probably would. No question about it. It was even killing me right
now to be so close to her and not hug and hold her like I felt she
needed.

Was
she upset with herself because she had made a mistake? Did she want
me back? I was prepared to sit down and talk about everything. I was
prepared to forgive and forget.

I
watched as the lady turned her back into the Katherine that I
remembered. The healthy happy one. Another woman came in and went to
work on her hair.

I
had to sit down for my make up. I peeked over to Katherine as much as
I could. Her manager was giving her suggestions. She didn't want
anyone to know that we weren't together anymore, especially not the
people around us.

“
This
would be the chance to promote a new book. You aren't working on one
so you need sell the second half. You will be going to a bookstore to
sign them right after you are finish here. I'll have a car waiting
for you. There is already a line waiting. They have been there all
day.”

“
Really?”

“
Yes,
really. Don't disappoint them Katherine this means a lot to your
fans.” She leaned in close to Katherine. “Pull yourself
together.” She was mad but if I knew one thing then I knew that
Katherine wouldn't disappoint anybody. She needed to please.

Well,
not me but everyone else. I wished I could get in line and buy one of
her books. I had assumed that I would be getting one from her, but
that didn't seem likely anymore. I should call my mom and ask her to
pick one up for me. I did want to know how it was going to go on.
Would she write a third?

I
had read bits and pieces but to read the whole thing would be
pertinent to my career, because I would be playing the lead role in
the next movie too. The powers that be had already read the book and
said that it was better than the first.