Hard Habit to Break (A Chicago Love Story #1) (3 page)

When we arrive at my door, I mutter an awkward goodbye. When I get inside, I peer through the curtains. He looks up and catches me, I feel like an idiot. What am I thirteen? I let the curtain fall from my hand and head to the kitchen to continue unpacking.

Chapter 3

I start class today. I have a new professor this year since Dr. Michaels finally retired last spring. I’ve been waiting for the registrar to change the teacher’s name from TBD to his or her actual name. I open my schedule and quickly scan through until I reach my Modern Literature class. Well, shit. Looks like I’ll be meeting Dr. Miller in a few days. I groan a little because I’ve heard about Miller. He’s that professor that seems to sleep with a new co-ed every other month.

Oh, well. I’m not that worried about it. I haven’t been in a relationship since sophomore year. I try to shove the memory aside but it nags me every now and then. My ex-boyfriend is a major douchebag. His name is Jeremy and the name still nauseates me nearly two years later. I’ve always been a confident and strong person but he turned my world around. He convinced me that I wasn’t worth anything; those thoughts still haunt me from time to time.

CeCe comes upstairs with wet hair and pours herself a cup of coffee. I know better than to speak to her until she’s had at least two cups. If it hadn’t been for CeCe, I would be in a very different place. She was the one who finally snapped me out of the fear and doubt I’d let myself be thrust into.

I’ll never forget the day she walked in on Jeremy showing his true colors. I was beaten and bloody. He had gotten tired of my smart mouth and refusals to sleep with him. I’m not a prude. I’ve just never been interested in having sex with someone I don’t love. CeCe freaked out. She beat the living daylights out of him. It took four people to get her off him. He got expelled and spent some time in jail but the idea that he’s out there somewhere doing that to someone else still haunts me.

“You ready, chica?” CeCe pulls me out of my own mind.

“Did you see who we have for Modern Literature?”

She shakes her head as she pours coffee into her travel mug.

“Miller.”

“Oh great, that’s fantastic. Try not to draw attention to yourself okay?”

I roll my eyes at her. We lock the door behind us and rush down the street towards campus. When we finally reach the classroom, we struggle to find a place to sit in the packed lecture hall. One of the students is talking to Dr. Miller, so I follow CeCe towards the stairs. I glance over at the desk from a different vantage point and manage to trip on something. I hit the floor in an embarrassing heap. CeCe groans and slaps her forehead.

Hands grip my waist and help me steady myself as I struggle to rise to my feet. This is one of the few times I’m actually mortified by my own clumsiness. I turn to thank my rescuer and find myself face to face with Isaac. In a button up shirt and tie, he looks even hotter than he has every time I’ve seen him in the coffee shop. It takes me a moment to realize why he’s here.

“Fuck!” I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

A look crosses his face that I can almost read. I don’t know what to think. Did he know I was a student? Get a grip, Liv. It’s not like you did anything with the guy. It was just a stupid crush, and now it’s over because it has to be. I clear my throat and step away from him. I manage to make it to my seat without causing any further commotion.

The class passes quickly because I am thinking of a million different ways this could have turned out very differently. I’m trying to push thoughts of his sexiness out of my mind, but it’s nearly impossible. His laugh still causes the butterflies to flutter in my belly. I can’t believe I almost became the flavor of the week for him.

CeCe has to rush out of class to make it across campus for her next class so when class ends she bolts, leaving me to figure out how to handle the predicament I find myself in. Should I just pretend like it’s no big deal? Should I talk to him? What the hell is wrong with me? I need to go into avoidance mode.

Before I can leave the room, he calls my name. I wait patiently for him to start talking, but he doesn’t. He waits until the classroom is clear.

“Can I walk you home again?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Olivia, I had no idea you were my student. It will be awkward if we’re neighbors and can’t be friendly. Especially when you consider that we’ll both be walking home now.”

I eye him suspiciously. This is a terrible idea but my mouth has a mind of its own, “Yeah, okay.”

We walk in awkward silence until we pass the Daily Grind. I notice him grin and glance at me. Nope. Not gonna happen Miller. I am not going to be the slut who shtoops her teacher. He stops at my steps and seems to struggle with what he wants to say next.

“I have something I’d like to give you.”

Oh, lord. Could he be any more obvious? Is this what he does to get girls to sleep with him? I wait for him to continue.

“I have a first edition of
Jane Eyre
that I’d like for you to accept as a token of friendship and mutual respect for classical literature. Please, come over and I’ll give it to you.”

Yeah, you’ll give it to me alright, you horndog. Again, my mouth betrays me, “Sure. Lead the way.”

That bitch.

When I get in his house I am instantly drawn to the bookshelf filled with old books. I bet he doesn’t have many girls come here who would rather smell the books than canoodle on the couch.

“Wow. Look at all these first editions! You have quite the collection.”

“Thank you. I love to read and it’s become a hobby of mine to hunt down rare first editions.”

I scan the shelves for titles I don’t recognize because it’s fun for me to find new books. We chat for a while before I look at the clock. I can hardly believe it’s already well past noon.

“Would you like to join me for lunch?” Isaac asks.

I tell him I’d better head home to finish unpacking. He leads me to the door. My arms decide to try what my mouth has been getting away with. I lean into give him a quick hug. I have no idea why I did it. Call me socially awkward. My right arm is wrapped around his shoulder blade until my hand was gripping the opposite collar bone. His arms had gone to the only comfortable position, around my waist.

I start to step away but he holds me firmly in place. The look in his eyes isn’t hard to read and my whole body responds against my will. He leans in and I can smell the intoxicating scent of his cologne. Time is standing still as the pressure of his hands on my hips increases ever so slightly, willing me to come closer. I stare at his lips and think about how they would feel pressed against mine.

“I never do this I swear.” Liar.

His mouth is on mine and I’m pressed against his body. I can feel the cautious urgency in his kiss and I’m acutely aware of how crazy this is. I lose myself in the taste of him and he lets out a low moan as I melt against him. His hands are working their way through my hair and I love it. I hardly know this man and no matter how attractive I find him, I have to put an end to this. I gently work my hands up to his chest and give a small push. He ends our kiss abruptly and looks mortified.

“Oh my god. I am so sorry. I am so embarrassed. I don’t know what’s come over me.”

I can’t speak because I’m still so out of breath, but I can’t let him think I stopped him because I don’t want him. I take a deep breath and it’s my turn to stop him from leaving.

“Isaac, that was. . .”

“Totally inappropriate and forward. I mean, I only just worked up the courage to speak to you the other day, then I find out your my student, and here I am forcing myself on you. I swear when I invited you in this was not what I had in mind. I don’t blame you if you never want to see me again.”

“Isaac. Stop,” but he keeps going.

“God, you must think I’m some kind of pervert. I’m at least fifteen years older than you. I’m a creepy old man. I’m a fucking pedophi—“

I close the distance between us in a millisecond and crush my lips to his. The passion is intense and I don’t know where it came from. I give into a desire I’ve felt for months and wrap my fingers in the silver crested waves of his hair. I end the kiss quickly, I only wanted to make him stop talking. He is looking at me in wonder and I know my face mirrors his.

“I need to go. I’m so sorry. I have to go,” I say as I rush out the door.

I have no idea what I was thinking. My head is reeling as I get inside my apartment and close the door behind me. I am not going to become another notch in his bed post.

Chapter 4

I pass the day watching Netflix and reading. When I’ve had my fill of junk food and the Winchester brothers, I turn off the TV and go to bed. While lying in bed my encounter with Isaac keeps playing over and over again in my mind. Kissing him was beyond my wildest dreams. The last thing I think of as I fall asleep is what he must think of me.

When I wake in the morning, I feel sick to my stomach. What was I thinking? I jump out of bed and into the shower. When I finish I put mousse in my hair and scrunch it with my fingers. I quickly dress and head to the Daily Grind. Maybe by some miracle, Isaac will be there and we can talk about boundaries.

I walk down the street and turn at the corner. When I get to the doo,r I breeze in and head to the counter. I order the usual and try not to look around as I hold on to the tiny glimmer of hope that Isaac is here. When I get my coffee, I turn to head to my table and discover it’s taken.

“Good morning,” Isaac gives me a shy smile.

I can’t help but grin, “Good morning.”

“Care to join me?”

I sit across from him and continue grinning like an idiot. I nervously take a sip of my coffee. I don’t know what to say to him. I’m an idiot. I’m a fly drawn to a fly trap.

“I’m so sorry for yesterday, Liv.”

“I’m not,” I say quietly.

“It didn’t seem like it when you booked it out of my house.”

“Well, I’m a bit confused. I don’t know what to do. I mean, we’re not exactly suited for each other. And, I don’t really have an interest in starting anything with anyone.”

“Oh,” he leans back in surprise.

“I haven’t had the time or found anyone of interest to me.”

“Oh,” he leans forward again, his tone interested.

“It sort of surprised me,” I tell him.

“Me too, trust me. I’ve not even given someone a second look since my wife died.”

“Okay, we both know that’s not true. You have quite the reputation.”

He sighs, “An ill-deserved reputation. I’m afraid I’ve become a bit of an urban legend.”

I don’t know what he’s talking about but I feel the truth in his words, “Are you going to explain yourself or do I have to pry it out of you?”

“A few years ago I had a student who took more interest in me than I knew. Call me an idiot but I didn’t realize that her requests for late night tutoring sessions and constant revisions on her papers were the result of anything but academic effort. She made an advance on me and I emphatically turned her down. She didn’t take it well.”

“But there have been a lot of stories about you sleeping with students.”

“I know. Thankfully the academic board has known me for years and knows all those stories are completely false.”

I slowly take another drink of my coffee. My eyes travel to his sensuous lips and I can’t help but think about kissing them again. I feel a blush creep into my cheeks. I clear my throat and try to think about something else. The attraction between us is so strong and I want to know more about him.

“What’s your favorite movie?” My question catches him off-guard.

“Dirty Dancing.”

His answer surprises me and I giggle, “Really?”

“Yeah, I always wanted to be as smooth as Swayze. Women went crazy for him.”

“I think you could give Swayze a run for his money.”

“I can’t dance.”

“What a shame,” I laugh as I finish my coffee.

“What’s your favorite movie?”

“While You Were Sleeping. You don’t happen to have a hotter brother I may fall for do you?”

“Only child. You?”

“Middle child. I have an older brother, Miles, and a younger sister, Ava. What about your parents?”

“My dad’s a retired sheriff, my mom has been a homemaker for my whole life. Yours?”

“My dad is an attorney and my mom is a doctor.”

“Do you want to have lunch with me?”

“Yes.”

We spend the rest of the day together. When he walks me home he takes my hand and pulls me in for a kiss. A warm feeling unravels in my belly as I accept his tender kiss. This kiss is different than our passionate kiss from the day before. He gently presses his lips to mine and an electric current bursts through me. His hands are on my waist, mine are tangled in his hair again.

He gently ends the kiss and strokes my cheek.

“You take my breath away,” he whispers.

“The feeling is mutual.”

He kisses me one more time before I dreamily walk up the steps. Once I’m inside I peek outside and see that he’s standing there smiling at my door. I grin and prance my way to the kitchen. I grab a bottle of water and take a quick swig. CeCe comes upstairs from the basement and stops short when she sees me.

“Where the hell have you been all day?”

“I spent the day with the hot guy from the coffee shop.”

“Shut the front door!”

CeCe arches an eyebrow. I launch into the story from the first conversation to the kiss we shared on our steps. She’s got a pleased look on her face like a cat that’s just dropped a mouse at her master’s feet.

“First of all, good girl for finally talking to the guy, I was starting to wonder if you were going to become a stalker. Next, why did you run out on him yesterday?”

“I don’t know. I think it freaked me out because it seemed so fast. I’d hardly talked to the guy and I suddenly found myself kissing him and it was incredible.”

“Wait, you’re telling me he lives next door and you’re sitting here talking to me?”

“Yes. Is that a problem?”

“Uh, yeah. Why the hell are you standing here talking to me when you could be over there?”

“I’m not in a big hurry,” I tell her even though I know I’m lying to myself. I would love nothing more than to go over to his house but the idea of taking this relationship any further than it’s already gone terrifies me.

“Chica, I know you well enough to know that you’re full of shit. Get your ass over there and get your man.”

I sigh, “Maybe tomorrow.”

CeCe shakes her head at me, “Girl, you are exasperating.”

I laugh at her. She has no idea. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I can’t stop thinking about him. I want to spend time with him. I want to kiss him again.

“Oh fine! You win,” I say as I grab my cell phone and purse.

I can hear CeCe laughing behind me as I close the door and carelessly take the stairs two at a time. I take a deep breath before knocking on his door. He answers a moment later. My eyes meet his and the attraction I feel is clearly reflected there. Isaac takes a step back to allow me to enter his home. When the door closes behind us, I turn and grin at him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

In the blink of an eye, he pulls me into his arms again and crushes me against the wall. I reach down and pull at his t-shirt; he’s staring into my eyes as I take it off. We slam against the wall and he lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist. This is insane and intense. He moans into my mouth and I relish the feeling of his tongue entwined with mine.

He kisses my jaw line and down my neck. I arch against him involuntarily as his hot breath tickles the area of my chest exposed by my v-neck shirt. His hands trail down my body until he grips my ass and presses my pelvis into his.

“Oh god,” he says as he presses against me again, his excitement is obvious.

I’m so ready to rip his clothes off that it comes as a total let down when he lets go of my ass and pulls away forcing me to stand on my own wobbly feet.

“Good evening to you too,” he says breathlessly.

“How long have you noticed me?” I have to know.

“Since the first day I went to the Daily Grind. I noticed your hair first. It’s so long and it fell in the most provocative way. I was attracted to you from behind and couldn’t believe how much more attractive you became when you turned around. I don’t know much about you but I am desperate to change that.”

He takes a step toward me but this time I stop him. I can’t keep going at it so intensely just to stop again. I don’t do this stuff.

“I kept coming back because you were there,” I tell him.

He laughs, “That’s why I was there every day. I haven’t used my coffee pot in two months.”

“So what is this?” I ask gesturing between us.

“I don’t know yet.”

We stand in the entryway, staring at each other. I don’t know if I’m confused because he’s my teacher or because I have been so guarded since my last relationship ended.

“I’d like to make you dinner.”

“I’d like to order pizza.”

He smiles and offers me his hand. I take it and allow myself to be led into the kitchen. He grabs his phone and presses a button. He orders a pizza and hangs up. He hasn’t taken his eyes off me and I am beyond turned on.

“How long until the pizza gets here?” I ask as I take a step closer to him.

“Forty-five minutes,” he keeps looking between my eyes and lips.

“Good.”

I run my hand along his chest and pull him down to kiss me again. I don’t know what’s come over me, but I want him. He reaches down to pull my shirt off and I let him. I smile coyly at him when he pulls it over my head, he laughs and draws me in for another kiss.

He lifts me onto the kitchen counter and fumbles with the hooks on my bra as he kisses my neck. My breasts are free and he looks completely lost. I wrap my legs around him again and use them to pull him close. We can’t seem to get close enough, so he lifts me again and we head to the oversized couch in the living room. He lays me down and gently crawls on top of me.

The only things keeping us from crossing the next line are the shorts we’re both still wearing. I can tell he would love to go there as much as I would but for now we’re just enjoying the sensation of our hands on each other’s bodies. He slowly pulls away from me and smiles down at me.

“I did not expect for this to happen.”

“Neither did I.”

He leans down to kiss me again and I’m lost. I make a snap decision because this feels right and I want him. I reach up and undo his belt buckle, then his shorts. His eyes snap open when I gently slide my hand under the elastic of his underwear. His pupils dilate as I begin to massage him, then his eyes close again.

“Liv, are you sure you want to do this?” His voice is thick with desire.

I pull him back down to me and kiss him fervently. He groans a little and his hand finds its way to my shorts. I let him unfasten the button and slide the zipper down. Then we’re both wiggling as we remove each other’s bottoms while refusing to stop our kiss. I don’t even stop to ask about protection and he doesn’t seem to be worried.

He pulls himself back slightly to look at my face like he’s looking for a sign that I want him to stop. Seeing none, he lowers himself back down on top of me and I wrap my legs around his waist. My eyes are locked with his as he slowly slides inside me. He waits for a moment to make sure I’m alright with where we are and when I lean up to kiss him again he begins to move.