Yankee Mail Order Bride (9 page)

Surgical ward…

Josiah pulled a chair to the side of Anna’s bed, and sat there, holding her hand in his. The room was warm and his eyelids became heavy and slowly drooped closed. A movement startled him awake. Anna’s eyes were open, her lips were dry. She spoke in a scratchy voice, “What happened? Where am I?”

He squeezed her hand. “You had appendicitis, and you’re in the hospital in Cheyenne. The doctor removed your appendix. He said it was on the verge of rupturing and you likely would have died if it had burst. We were very lucky and getting you here instead of having the doctor come to us probably saved your life.”

“Can I go home?” she asked.

“No, the doctor says you will need to stay here for ten days if all goes well and you have no infection.”

“I can’t stay here ten days, I have to read Rebecca’s bedtime story. I want to go home.”

A nurse came in and checked her heart rate with a stethoscope and checked her temperature. She asked Josiah to leave the room while she checked the incision. He waited in the hall, observing the actions of the nurses and doctors as they moved in and out of rooms. The nurse finished her inspection and came out of the room.

“Sister, how is she?” he asked.

“Her heart sounds fine. The temperature is elevated a bit, but that is common after surgery. Her incision is fine, and has no suppuration or bleeding. I would say she is doing fine,” said the nurse/nun. “We will have her on a soft diet for a few days until all of the anesthetic is out of her system.” She moved around him and continued her rounds.

The young surgeon came into the room on his morning rounds. He checked her incision and expressed his satisfaction with the healing process.

Alone again in the room, Josiah found Anna had drifted off to sleep again, a pattern that would continue for several days,

Josiah took a room at the Inter-Ocean Hotel, and spent his nights there after he was chased from Anna’s room. He took his meals in the cafe next door to the hotel. The rest of the time was spent by the bedside of Anna. The third and fourth day saw more periods of wakefulness.

On the fourth day, the doctor came in and pronounced his satisfaction with the healing of her incision and told them he felt the big risk of infection was past. He left the room after making some minor changes to her diet.

Anna asked, “Why has no one said anything about the baby? Is our baby all right?” A stricken look came over Josiah’s face. “What are you not telling me? Josiah, tell me, Josiah Moore. Tell me now.”

He took her hand. “Honey, you were very sick and had a high fever. Our baby’s heart was not strong enough to survive the strain. We lost our baby. The doctor told me not to tell you until you regained strength. I’m so sorry, I had to keep it from you. They tried for over two hours, but couldn’t save it. It was too early to tell whether it was a boy or girl.”

She began crying uncontrollably. Tears poured down her cheeks. Josiah leaned on the bed to put his arms around her and hold her close. He didn’t know any words he could use that might console her. He tried, but they wouldn’t come. Tears came instead. The nurse walked into the room. “What happened? Are you in pain?” she asked.

“She asked about the baby. She knows we lost it,” Josiah said.

The nurse moved to the bed, she checked Anna’s pulse. She tried to comfort Anna using soft words relating to God’s will. “What kind of will does He have that He would take my baby?” she choked out as her heavy sobbing continued. “I wish you had let me die instead of my baby.”

The nurse said, “You need to be calm and still before you break open your stitches and hurt yourself.”

“What difference does it make now? I can’t be hurt more than I have already been. Josiah, I don’t know what I did. I would never have hurt our baby.” Her crying continued. The nurse left the room and returned shortly thereafter.

She had a small glass containing a liquid solution. “Dear, drink this. It will make you feel better,” she said. Anna drank it down. In short order she fell asleep.

“What did you give her?” he asked.

“It was chloral hydrate. She will be asleep for some time. Hopefully, when she awakens, she will be more calm.”

She slept for several hours. Josiah was still by the bed when she awakened. “Josiah, if you want me to leave I will. You will not want to stay with me after I lost our baby. I don’t know if I can live with it.”

Doc Williams came in daily to check on her condition. On this day, he found her still sobbing in her wakeful moments. Standing by the bed, he took her hand. “Anna, losing the baby was not your fault. A bad appendix will poison your body. It was killing you. The baby was not strong enough to overcome the poisons. There is nothing you could have done differently. No one knows why some people develop appendicitis and others don’t. It just happens. There is no reason you can’t still have a baby or babies. This is all part of the life God has given us and we have to accept it with all of the trials and tribulations. I want you to concentrate on getting yourself. You still have Rebecca.”

“Rebecca is his daughter. I wanted our daughter. Was that selfish of me?” She failed to notice the look on Josiah’s face when she renounced Rebecca.

“I don’t think it was selfish at all. I think it was natural. It can still be. You just have to let it happen.”

“Will I lose the next one? The one after that? I can’t take that, Doctor,” she said.

“I think you underestimate yourself, Anna. You are a strong woman and have the ability to have many babies,” said the doctor.

Josiah came to the hospital after not having come the day before. “I missed you,” a pale and thinner Anna said.

“I went home to see my daughter,” he said.

Anna picked up on the coolness in his voice. “How is she,” she asked.

“She’s fine,” he said.

“Josiah, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“”Nothing’s wrong. I just went to see my daughter, that’s all. The doctor says you can leave the hospital tomorrow. I brought the carriage with me. It will give you a smoother trip. I’ll be back in the morning to take you home.” It was the first time he had left without kissing her. He was back at the hospital early the next morning, but they had to wait for the doctor to dismiss her before they could leave.

The doctor pronounced her sound, imposed some lifting restrictions, and directed them not to resume relations for six weeks. Josiah then went to all of the nurses that had attended Anna and thanked them for their care and attention. The nun who had been her primary nurse talked with Anna for a few minutes and then said. “Vaya con Dios.”

It was a quiet, somber drive home, with little talk passing between them. Anna went into the house, walking gingerly. Josiah put the carriage away and took care of the horses.

Both Rebecca and Beulah were overjoyed to see them. She stood, “Welcome home, Miss Anna,” Beulah said. She saw a wan, sad woman in front of her. “Child, you have lost some weight, but my cooking will put it back on in a hurry. You must be wore out after the ride home. Come on, let me put you to bed so you can get some rest.”

Rebecca followed them into the bedroom. “Are you all well, Mama?”

“Not yet, honey. I’m not very strong and I can’t pick you up for a while, yet.” She sat on the bed. “I am tired and I think I will take a nap now.”

In the kitchen, Josiah said to Beulah, “I’m worried about her. She doesn’t have any spark. She doesn’t seem to care or have any interest in anything. She blames herself for losing the baby.”

“Lordee, that wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t help it.”

“I know. I’ve told her that, the doctor told her that and so did the nurses. I don’t know what to do…”

Three weeks later…

“Mr Josiah, she just eating enough to keep a bird alive. She’s not doing anything with Rebecca’s music or my reading. I don’t know how long it’s been since she played the piano. Most evenings she don’t even read a bedtime story to Miss Rebecca.”

“I know, Beulah. It won’t do any good to take her to Doc Williams. He doesn’t know what to do. She just tells me nothing’s wrong. She isn’t even affectionate with me. I’m going to have a long talk with her, and if that doesn’t help, I don’t know what to do.”

Later that day…

“Anna, come, let’s take a walk with me, please,” Josiah said.

“I don’t feel like it, Josiah, maybe some other time, when I feel better.”

“That’s just the problem. You’re not even trying. You have everyone in the family worrying about you and you don’t even try,” he said.

She began crying… again. “You don’t understand.”

“No, I don’t understand. I’m your husband, and I might as well be a snake. A snake would probably get more attention. Rebecca is totally lost. She doesn’t understand what happened to the woman who wanted to be called Mama, and was teaching her to play the piano. The highlight of her day was the bedtime story. Look in the mirror.” He took her arm, pulled her to her feet. “Look at yourself. You are a beautiful woman and look what you’ve let yourself become. How long has it been since you had a bath? Have you even had one since the hospital?

“Anna, I love you. I don’t love what you’ve become,” he said.

“It’s all my fault, Josiah. I have no interest in anything,” she said.

“Well, you need to snap out of it and at least show signs of trying,” he said.

“Do you want me to leave?” she asked. “I can go back to Plymouth.”

“I don’t want you to leave. I want you to be my wife, and my companion. I want you to be Anna.”

“Josiah, I don’t know how,” she said. “Tell me what to do.”

“Anna, I can’t tell you what to do. All I can do is tell you to try,” he said.

An idea…

The next morning, he rode into town and directly to Western Union. He handed the clerk the message he had written out the evening before. “When an answer comes, would you have someone deliver it to me at Diablo Ranch,” he asked. “I’ll pay for it.”

“Sure thing, Mr Moore. I’ll get it right out to you,” the clerk said.

The following afternoon, a young man rode into the yard at the Diablo Ranch. He tied his horse and went to the door. It was answered by a large black woman. “Yessir?” she asked.

“I have a telegram for Josiah Moore.”

“He’s in back at the barn. Just go on around. Ask anyone. He’s the boss,” said Beulah.

He found Josiah easily, handed him the envelope and asked, “Will there be a reply?”

“Do you have paper?” Josiah asked.

“Yes sir, I do.” He produced paper and pencil.

Josiah scribbled a message that simply said, “Thank you. I will meet the train.” He gave the messenger $2.00 and thanked him.

The next Monday…

The next Monday, Josiah said, “Honey, I have to go into Cheyenne, would you like to go with me?”

“I don’t feel well, Josiah, but thanks for asking,” Anna said, returning to the bedroom.

Josiah hitched the horses to the large carriage and drove in, arriving in Cheyenne thirty minutes before the scheduled arrival of the train. He found it was running fifteen minutes late, so he settled down to wait, lost in his thoughts until he heard the steam whistle announcing the arrival of the train. He walked over to the platform and waited with the rest of those meeting people.

The train came in with the usual puffs of black smoke flowing from the stack along with the incumbent cinders, clouds of steam, and other debris stirred up by the gusts of wind created. Watching the passengers, he didn’t see any ladies traveling alone. A man came up to him and said, “Pardon me, are you Josiah Moore?”

“Yes I am,” Josiah said. “And you are?”

“I am Caleb Taylor, Anna’s father, and this is my wife, Margaret.”

Mrs Taylor had a worried look on her face. “Where is Anna? Is she all right?”

“She’s at the ranch,” Josiah said. “She is all right physically, but emotionally, not so good.” He turned to Caleb Taylor. “If you’ll come point out your baggage, I’ll get it loaded into the carriage. Mrs Taylor, that’s my carriage over there. We’ll be right back.

He and Caleb walked to the baggage area. He stopped on the way and faced Taylor, his hand resting on the Navy Colt revolver, holstered and tied to his right leg. “Mr Taylor, I say this with all respect due. I love your daughter as much as any man could. I know the circumstances that caused Anna to leave her home and come to Wyoming. If you say or do anything to cause her hurt or harm, I will shoot you on the spot. Do we understand each other, sir?”

“Josiah, may I call you Josiah? I am ashamed of the type of father I had become all due to the pursuit of the dollar. I did not realize the hurt I was causing until she was gone. I’m not the same man,” Caleb Taylor said.

“Sir, Anna showed me the letter from her mother, two weeks after she arrived here and we were married. It did not describe a contrite man. I repeat my previous statement. Do we understand each other? I am not normally a man of violence, but in this case I will make an exception.”

Caleb said, “Josiah, I assure you, you have no cause for concern. Now, those are our cases there” and pointed to two large expensive looking trunks.

“I’ll get the carriage and bring it here. It will be easier,” he said and turned toward the carriage.

With the trunks loaded, he assisted Anna’s mother into the carriage. “If you don’t mind, could Mrs Taylor sit up here and I’ll explain as we go?” Caleb seated himself in the rear seat of the carriage and they headed for the Diablo.

Josiah explained about Anna was about four months with child when she contracted appendicitis. He told them, “We have a brand new Catholic Hospital in Cheyenne, and I elected to drive her here, rather than take the time round trip it would take for the doctor to come to us. As it turned out, that was a fortunate choice since the doctor said the appendix was close to rupturing. During the emergency procedure, Anna lost the baby. She has healed completely and has been regularly checked by the surgeon and by my doctor. She blames herself for the baby’s loss. She’s not eating well, nor is she sleeping. She just sits. She no longer plays the piano and has even stopped reading Rebecca a bedtime story. That was a big thing for both of them prior to her illness. Mrs Taylor, I’m completely at a loss on what to do. Anna has even offered to leave as a way of saying she is sorry. That is the last thing I want. I already lost a wife to diphtheria and I just can’t lose Anna too.

“Mrs Taylor, I understand you play the piano?”

“Yes, I do. Do you have a piano?”

“I bought one for Anna shortly after our marriage. She filled the house with music and was even teaching Rebecca the scales,” he said.

“She always loved to play. She took lessons from an early age,” her mother said.

“Rebecca will be three in less than a month and Anna would take her in her lap and show her the notes. What I was thinking, Anna doesn’t know you’re coming, and I know she’ll be in the bedroom. If you would, could you just start playing, one of her favorites. No one else in the house plays and I just know she will come out to see who is playing.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I’ll be glad to,” she said.

“Josiah, how far is your ranch?”

“We’re about forty-five minutes from Cheyenne. We’ve actually been on our property for about ten minutes now.”

“It sounds as if you have a large operation.” Caleb said.

“I guess so,” Josiah said. “We have around twelve thousand acres now, and I’ve been thinking about adding on. We have a contract with the Army and have also been supplying a good part of Cheyenne’s needs. The ranch has been in our family for three generations. I inherited it after my parents were killed in a tornado.”

“That must have been terrible for you,” Mrs Taylor said.

“It was. I was out on the range with one of the herds when it hit. Totally destroyed the house. Caroline, she was my wife, and I rebuilt.” Just over the next hill you will see the main house.”

When the big white building came into view, Mrs Taylor said, “It certainly looks large from here.”

“It’s comfortable,” Josiah said with modesty.

When they came into the yard, one of the ranch hands came out and said, “Need some help, boss?”

“Yes, please, Cale. If a couple of you would put the trunks inside the parlor, and put the carriage and horses away, I would appreciate it,” Josiah said.

“You bet,” said Cale.

Josiah led the way into the house and into the parlor. Anna’s mother saw the piano, and went over and sat on the bench. She flexed her fingers, the same way Anna always did and sat down and began playing. As the notes wafted throughout the house, Beulah and Rebecca came in.

Josiah was watching the hallway. “Here she comes,” he whispered.

Anna walked into the room, still in a housecoat, her hair unkempt. She stopped and stood there, disbelief on her face, “Mama… Mama?” Then she ran to her mother and into her arms. “Mama… I’m so glad to see you. How did you…” she left the question unfinished as she saw her father. “Hello Father,” she said, the coolness in her voice apparent.

“Hello Anna. I have so much to apologize for and I will, but could you give me a hug?” With short, timid steps, she approached the man who had given her life, and went into his open arms.

Then, backing away, she looked at her husband. “Josiah, you did this? You did this for me?” she asked unbelievingly.

“What can I say, Anna? I love you and I’ve been so worried about you.”

Abruptly, Anna stepped away from her father. “I’m forgetting my manners. Placing her hands on Rebecca’s shoulders, she said,“This beautiful little girl is Rebecca, our daughter, and this is Beaulah. She runs the house.”

“Aww, Miss Anna, what a nice thing to say. Pleased to meet you folks. We just love your daughter.”

Josiah cleared his throat, and said, “Beaulah, guess you need to set another two places for dinner.”

With her mother's arm around her, Anna walked back toward her bedroom. Josiah heaved a sigh of relief, He felt he had just taken a big step to getting his wife back.

* * *

“Mama, I don’t know what to do. I feel so guilty about losing our baby. Josiah had said he would like to wait before we had a child, wait until we knew each other a little better, but I wanted my child. Rebecca is a special little girl, who has been through a lot and I love her dearly, but I wanted to have a child with Josiah. If only I had waited and not been so selfish, we wouldn’t be going through this. I’ve let him down and now I’m letting Rebecca down too. Josiah deserves better.”

“Hush, child. Josiah doesn’t want anyone but you. He told us that several times on the way out here. I really like him, honey. His telegram simply said, “Anna needs you. Can you come?”, and he wired the money for my ticket. We’re giving that back to him of course. He told us about the piano, and it was his idea to have me play the piano when we arrived.

“You’re being far too hard on yourself. I know what you’re going through. I’ve never told you, but I lost a baby before you were born. It was a boy and would have been the son your father always wanted. I don’t think he ever forgave me for losing his son. I still feel that way sometimes. I think you are very fortunate in Josiah.