Twelve Days of Temptation (A Hot Holiday Novella) (Temptation #1) (10 page)

The next morning, Kate wasn’t surprised to find the usual gold-wrapped gift tied with a red velvet ribbon on her doorstep. She was, however, surprised she didn’t have the urge to open it. She took it into the house and, instead of ripping it open, placed it on her kitchen counter and walked away.

Signing her divorce papers had sent her into a tailspin the day before. In letting go, she’d been forced to remember why she’d left her husband, and it hadn’t been just his infidelity. No, she had left because of how he’d looked at her when she’d confronted him about the other women. He didn’t care he had hurt her. He didn’t care he’d lied to her. Her feelings were not important to him, not as important as the inconvenience of her anger.

It had been during that bout of anger that Wayne had said hateful, hurtful things to Kate. He’d blamed her for everything, saying her lack of skill in the bedroom had driven him to cheat. She had told him he was wrong, but part of her had believed him. She now realized being with Mr. Elf was about proving Wayne wrong.

She couldn’t say she hadn’t enjoyed Mr. Elf. Each day had been more exciting than the last. She’d been looking forward to discovering where else he could take her.

Something changed, though, when his game started involving Brock. Kate knew how it felt to be treated callously by someone who didn’t care if he hurt her. She couldn’t do that to Brock.

Did that mean her time with Mr. Elf was over? She didn’t know, but she did know they were not moving forward until she spoke to him about it.

You there?

Did you get my gift, Kate?

I did. I didn’t open it. I haven’t decided yet if I will.

You will, Kate.

We need to talk. I have something I need to say to you. And you need to listen. If you tell me you don’t care how I feel about this, this will be the last time we ever speak. I mean it.

Mr. Elf took his time answering, but when he did his text read
:
I’m listening.

The first couple times we were together, it was fun. But yesterday, I felt worse after being with you instead of better. I need time to think before I agree to continue this
.
When Mr. Elf didn’t respond, Kate texted
:
Do you even care how I feel?

Kate, you didn’t ask for a relationship, you asked for a good old-fashioned, mind-blowing fuck.

I did. But you crossed the line when you involved someone else in our game. I don’t care how fucked up I am in my own head, I won’t take it out on someone else.

What are you saying, Kate? You care about that guy?

I do, too much to be talked into doing anything that would ever hurt him.

Are you telling me you want to fuck him more than you want to play with me?

No. I’m telling you I need time to think. You can keep sending me gifts, but I won’t open them. Not today. Maybe not tomorrow. I have to clear my head. I have to figure out what I want. I’ll text you when I do.

As always, it’s your choice, Kate.

Yes, it is my choice. I finally see that.

Kate put the prepaid phone on the counter next to the unopened gift and walked away from both. She wasn’t ready to close the door on either, but she’d meant what she’d said about needing time to sort things out.

She went upstairs to her mother’s bedroom and sat on the edge of her bed. She remembered begging her mother to stay with her even when she knew her mother was ready to pass. She’d turned a blind eye to the signs that her husband was cheating until they had become too obvious to ignore. Neither situation had been within her control, and that realization had terrified her.

Everything she loved about her life could be ripped away from her, and there was nothing she could do about it. She let her feelings from both experiences wash over her. Helpless. Angry. Ashamed she hadn’t been a stronger person in either situation.

But I’m not helpless.

I’m not weak.

Her time with Mr. Elf had proven something else to her: It takes two to make a boring sex life. She’d found more sexual satisfaction in her short time with a stranger on a cell phone than she had in her entire marriage. Kate didn’t regret a single moment she’d spent with whoever Mr. Elf was. He’d opened her eyes to the joys of fantasy and the pleasure she could find in her own body.

He’d encouraged her to test her boundaries, to leave her comfort level behind, and that was a philosophy she was determined to adopt in other areas of her life. He’d also taught her that giving up control as part of a game was exciting, but giving it up for real was something she wasn’t willing to ever do again.

I can never go back to who I was before, and that’s a good thing.

Her mother had always told her a lady doesn’t fight.

You were wrong, Mom.

Sometimes even ladies have to kick a little ass.

It’s time for me to figure out what I want. Not what you wanted for me, Mom. Not what Wayne, or the man who found my Christmas wish, thought I wanted. It’s not up to you or to them.

How I live and how I feel—it’s my choice.

I won’t leave this town just because people here don’t like me. I’m going to pack up your stuff, Mom, but not until I’m ready to. And I’m not ready yet. There is not a single part of you I’m willing to give, or throw, away. Deal with it.

Kate stood and walked to the door.
I know you wanted more for me than you had, Mom. For some reason, you thought I would find that if I married someone with money. I understand you wanted me to be happy, and I’m sorry I didn’t fit into the life you’d hoped I’d live.

She looked down at the navy pants she’d put on that morning without thinking.
I don’t know where I’ll end up, but I need to find what makes me happy, Mom.

She closed the door behind her and went in search of her phone. She dialed it and said, “Angie, I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me today.”

“I’d love to,” Angie said in a gush. “Let me get the boys ready. Come on over. I’m so glad you called. I need some fresh air—I’m going crazy inside my house.”

“Me, too,” Kate said and smiled. “Me, too.”

***

Brock was miserable all day at work. He yelled at his site manager when he heard there would be a delay in the flooring for the main building’s basketball court. He yelled at his sister when she came in to see why he was in such a bad mood. She’d left looking more concerned than angry, which only made him feel worse.

And he already felt bad enough.

He’d fucked up, and he knew it. He had taken the game too far. His original plan had been to have an exciting fantasy with her via the phone while getting to know her as himself. In his mind he had imagined revealing the game to her on the
twelfth day. He thought if he played everything just right she would realize he was much more than the nice guy she had always seen. They might have even laughed about the whole thing.

Yesterday, when he’d sensed his plan was falling apart, he’d panicked and gone too far. When she had told him she could never love a man who lied to her, he’d realized he could never tell her the truth. He had been blindsided when she told him she didn’t want to see him anymore. He had strategized that, if he escalated their fantasy, it would make a nice guy suddenly seem like a better option.

And to be honest, the power of knowing she would do whatever he asked had gone to his head—and his cock. Their game was fun, more exciting than anything he’d done before, and he hadn’t wanted it to end. She’d been crying before he arrived. He should have thought more about how she felt than about what his dick wanted. He should have called their game off for one night. Maybe he should’ve confessed and admitted to her that his game had really only been about wanting to be with her. Instead, he put his needs ahead of hers and because of that, he might have lost her.

She wasn’t happy with Brock or Mr. Elf.

What the fuck do I do now?

He ended his workday early and went to Kate’s house. She wasn’t home so he sat on the front steps and waited. He was cold and uncomfortable, but he wasn’t leaving until he spoke to her.

He stood when he saw her walking down the street. She approached him cautiously, both hands tucked in the pockets of her short jacket. “I couldn’t stay away, Kate. There is something I have to tell you.” She looked at him with the sweetest, largest blue eyes he’d ever seen, and he’d never felt more like an ass than he did in that moment. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He stepped closer to her. “I did everything wrong. You were upset, and I was a selfish prick.”

She shrugged again. “I’ve met worse. In fact, I just divorced one.” She smiled sadly. “That joke sounded funnier in my head.” She met his eyes and said, “I was just as much at fault for yesterday as you were. Coming home has been strange for me. I’m sorry if I’m sending you mixed signals.”

“I like you, Kate.”

“I like you, too, but . . .”

“Does it have to be more complicated than that?”

She brought a hand up to her lips as if remembering his kiss. “I meant what I said yesterday, Brock. I’m so confused. I feel like I let my life get out of control, and I need to find my footing again. That’s not a good time to start seeing someone. Trust me, I’m much more fucked up than I look.”

Brock sat down on her steps. “You think you’re the only one? I’m a fucking mess on the inside. I just hide it beneath this handsome face and amazing smile.”

Kate reluctantly returned his smile and sat down beside him. “You do have a nice smile.”

“You should see my other parts. It’s too cold to show you my favorite one right now. You wouldn’t get the best impression of it.” He glanced at her and wiggled his eyebrows.

She laughed. “Keep it in your pants, buddy.”

He rounded his eyes as if her comment shocked him. “I was referring to my six-pack abs that are ghostly white in the winter. What did you think I meant?”

Kate shook her head and laughed again. “I guess I have a dirty mind.”

Pretending to be serious, Brock said, “I have never considered that a fault in a woman.”

“Thank you for coming over yesterday when you knew I was upset.”

“I’ll always come when you need me, Kate. I care about you.” As he said the words, he realized how much he meant them.

Kate picked a leaf off the bush beside her and folded it carefully again and again. “I don’t know what there’s been to like lately.”

For the first time since he’d read her letter, his desire to hold her had nothing to do with wanting to have sex with her. He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. “Do you remember the first summer we met? Before you, I couldn’t understand why anyone would hang out with a girl. But we had fun, didn’t we? It didn’t matter how different we were. Being with you made me happy. I missed you after that summer.”

Kate laid her head on Brock’s shoulder. “My mother hated seeing me in jeans. Especially the dirty jeans she always found in the hamper after I’d been outside playing with you. That summer was fun. I missed you, too.”

“There has to be a reason we keep coming in and out of each other’s lives.”

Kate tensed beneath his arm. “Brock, I wish I were in a better place right now.”

“You will be, Kate. This is a rough time for you, but you’ll come out of it. I want you to know you don’t have to be alone as you work things out. I’m right here. If you need a friend, I can be a friend for now. If you want more, just sit on my lap again.”

She looked up at him quickly, and he winked down at her. “It’s that simple?”

He shrugged. “Guys are not that complicated.” Brock stood up and held out a hand to her. “Hey, let’s go to dinner. No expectations. Just you, me, and an extra-large pizza. We’ll drown your sorrows in carbs.”

She placed her hand in his and stood before him, searching his face. “You’re really okay with taking it slowly?”

He pulled her to his chest and kissed her temple. “You’re worth the wait, Kate. You always have been. Let’s go eat.”

Kate spent the next few evenings with Brock. He’d taken her to a holiday party hosted by a married couple, Chris and Kim, he’d been friends with since high school. He’d introduced her as a very good friend of his.

Chris had elbowed Brock and said, “A friend, huh? Isn’t this the Kate you mooned over for years? You know, Untouchable—”

His wife had glared at him and interrupted, “Do you want to ever have sex again, Chris?”

“Yes,” Chris had said and frowned.

“Then stop talking.”

“Oh, I wasn’t thinking.” He’d blushed. “Kate, I didn’t mean any offense. It’s just what everyone called you.”

Brock had become visibly upset beside her, but for once the label hadn’t bothered Kate. She’d felt free from the old nickname. What others thought of her didn’t matter to her, not since Mr. Elf had shown her what she felt was just as important.

Kim had said, “Kate, I’m so sorry. Chris, that is your last eggnog. You’re cut off.”

Kate had surprised them all by smiling. “It doesn’t bother me anymore. Those people didn’t know me.”

Brock had hugged her, and she’d felt a smile on his lips when he’d kissed her forehead.

“See,” Chris had said, “she’s not upset, and I just got Brock to admit they are more than friends.”

Kim had looked across at Kate and smiled. “He’s incorrigible, but I love him.”

Chris had let out a whoop. “No couch for me tonight.”

Meeting the rest of Brock’s friends that night had been just as entertaining. Watching him with them had warmed Kate’s heart. Brock loved these people, and it was easy to see they loved him right back.

The next night, Brock had surprised her by inviting her to have dinner with his parents. When Kate had hesitated, he’d said, “My parents are fun. Well, most of the time. Don’t let my dad start talking about local politics. And if my mom offers you a piece of meat pie, ask her what year it was made. She doesn’t label things well in the freezer. Just avoid the meat pie altogether.”

“Who will you tell them I am?”

“The truth. You’re Kate, a woman I want to introduce to the joys of canasta.”

“What’s canasta?”

“It’s an addictive card game. My family has always played it. I have to warn you, though. We’re cutthroat. Don’t bat those pretty blue eyes at me and think I’ll go easy on you. It’s men against women when we play cards, and the losers always do the dishes.”

Brock’s parents had met them at the door. His father was tall, with a full head of white hair and blue-green eyes like Brock’s. His mother was much shorter, with salt-and-pepper hair cut in a flattering short style and dark brown eyes. Kate wasn’t sure how to read either of them.

Linda had waved warmly from behind them and loudly told the woman she was standing beside not to embarrass Brock in front of Kate.

Brock had placed his hand low on Kate’s back and ushered her inside.

“Marty, offer to take her coat,” Brock’s mother had said to her husband.

“Sharon, I’m not putting on airs just because she’s here. She can hang up her own coat if she wants to.”

Brock’s hand had tensed on her back, but Kate had smiled over her shoulder at him. “Don’t worry, Brock, old people don’t offend me.”

His father had coughed and turned a little red. “Did you just call me old?”

Kate had given him her best mischievous smile and shrugged. “I did, but you deserved it.”

He’d studied her for a moment, then said, “I could like this one, Brock.”

“Enough to let her in the house, Marty?” His wife rolled her eyes but hugged her husband.

Marty had nodded and stepped back. Once everyone was inside, he’d held out his hand for Kate’s coat. “Well, what you are waiting for? Give me your damn coat or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Kate had taken one look at his serious expression and burst out laughing. Brock had joined in, followed by the rest of them. Linda had come over like a long lost friend, given Kate a welcome hug, and introduced her to their aunt Stella.

Good food and plenty of wine had turned the awkwardness of their initial meeting into a surprisingly pleasant evening. Brock’s parents were warm and loving toward each other. After dinner, his father had joked they should play so the loser would leave with his sister-in-law.

No one had taken him seriously. Not even Aunt Stella. She had, however, threatened to stay another week if he kept it up. The easy banter between them made Kate wish she had a family like that.

And someone like Brock to share it with. He was protective, tender, and attentive. There was nothing not to love about spending time with Brock. He took her to the movies. Took her shopping. They went everywhere, but he made sure they were never alone.

Which was more than a little frustrating. She’d told him she wanted to take it slowly, but he didn’t even try to kiss her when he dropped her off at her door each night. At first she’d thought she didn’t want him to, because it would lead to something she wasn’t ready for, but the more time they spent together, the more kissing him again was all she could think about.

There’d been a time when she’d thought she had a low sex drive.
Ha, now sex is all I think about.
And not with just anyone—with Brock.
She wanted to shake him. Or tie him down and take what she wanted. Being so close to him without kissing him kept her at an aching level of frustration.

He said all it would take was a sign from her that she was ready. Kate wasn’t sure at first what held her back from giving him that sign, but she came face to face with it when she was cleaning her home one weekend morning.

She found the unopened gift box and the phone she’d stashed in a kitchen drawer the first night Brock had come to her house to pick her up. She’d told herself to throw them both away, but she hadn’t. There was something about Mr. Elf she wasn’t ready to let go of yet.

She took the prepaid phone in to the living room,along with the small box. She texted
:
Thank you.

His response came almost instantly
.
For what?

For listening to me when I asked you to stop.

Our game was never supposed to hurt you, Kate.

I know. And it didn’t. In fact, it freed me. I never knew I could be like that. I didn’t know I could enjoy sex as much as I did with you.

What are you saying? You want to continue our game?

Yes. No. I want everything I had with you, but I want it with Brock.

Then why are you talking to me, Kate?

He’s not like you. He’d be shocked if I told him what I want to do with him.

I doubt that.

I can’t even get him to kiss me.

Then he’s an idiot.

He’s not an idiot. He’s a good guy. A really, really good guy. He makes me laugh. He has brought so much happiness into my life in such a short time. I can’t imagine not knowing him now. And I trust him, more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. But what if that’s not enough for me? What if I need someone who can push my boundaries sometimes? What if I sleep with him and wish it were you?

There was no message from Mr. Elf for several minutes. Then he texted
:
You don’t really want me. You don’t know me. Are you attracted to Brock? I mean, do you want him to fuck you long and hard, over and over again?

I do. And I want my toys. And naughty phone calls. I want to meet him in places that would shock most people and fuck his brains out. But how do I tell him that?

Any way you want. I’m sure if he’s a man at all, he’ll figure it out.

Should I tell him about you?

No. Some things are better left a secret, Kate. I’m one of those things.

It’s day twelve, Mr. Elf.

I know.

I’m sorry we aren’t spending today the way you thought we would.

Kate, you are probably the only woman on the planet who would apologize to a complete stranger for not fucking him.

That’s because you’re not a stranger to me, Mr. Elf. You’re not even creepy anymore. I still hope you’re older than twelve, but even if you aren’t—you’ve left me better than you found me, and I’m grateful for that.

Will you open my last present?

I know it’s silly, but I don’t want to. It’s a temptation I have to refuse. I want to give Brock a real chance, and I can’t do that if I’m with you.

So, this is good-bye.

It is.

Kate, don’t ever be ashamed of wanting sex to be exciting. And don’t ever settle for less than what you need. Any man who doesn’t want you the way you are doesn’t deserve to be with you.

That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Mr. Elf.

Don’t tell Santa. He’ll take me off the Naughty List, and I do all my best work there.

Good-bye, Mr. Elf.

Good-bye, Kate.

Brock considered tossing his prepaid phone into the trash. Instead, he stuffed it into the far corner of his home office desk drawer and locked it. He stood up and paced his apartment impatiently.

He had plans to see Kate that afternoon, but he was pretty sure waiting until then would keep his blood pressure so high he’d burst something. What a way to go. The doctors would call it the most extreme case of blue balls they’d ever seen—the one that negated the myth that men couldn’t die from it.

Kate thinks I’m too good of a guy to be good in bed?

Fuck me.

I can’t offer to prove her wrong. I can’t tell her I know that.

If I run over there now and rip off her clothes she’ll suspect I’m Mr. Elf.

Won’t she?

Would that be such a bad thing? She wants him, and she wants me. Well, I’m fucking him. So, you’re lucky Kate, you get to fuck both of us.

She wouldn’t see it that way. No, she’d fucking kill me for lying to her.

Then she’d break up with me.

Who am I kidding? She hasn’t technically said she’s dating me yet.

I’m such a fucking idiot. I’ve been doing everything I can to keep my hands off her and now she thinks I’ll suck in bed.

Dammit.

I just have to wait until she gives me a sign.

Any fucking sign.

If she looks at me while breathing, I’m taking that as a request to jump her.

And I’d better be good.

He turned on his laptop and read an article about how to prolong the female orgasm. He followed up with how to give a woman multiple orgasms. Through his search he came across an article about improving sex through hypnosis.

He read it, then chastised himself.
I am such a fucking pig. Hypnotizing Kate would be wrong. Unless she wanted me to, and then it could be fun.

Stop.

This is how I got into this situation in the first place.

He waved a finger at his half-cocked dick. “Not all of your ideas are good ones. Let me take the lead on this one.”

She thinks I’m not kinky enough for her?

She has no idea.

And I’ll show her.

Just as soon as she gives me the slightest hint that I should.

Or looks me in the eye.

Really, it won’t take much.