To Please the Doctor (28 page)

“
No, definitely not. Thank heavens I am leaving! You don
’
t realize what a good turn you did me when you fixed that,
”
Jill affirmed with a laugh which held a note of bitterness.

“
Oh, Jill, do come and sit down and tell me properly,
”
Brenda implored as, leaning forward, she took Jill
’
s arm and propelled her back to the armchair.
“
Go on, tell me what
’
s the trouble,
”
she urged, watching her companion as she settled back in her chair, but as she made no effort to speak, Brenda went on,
“
Is it something to do with Dr. McRey?
”

Jill sat forward, her hands gripping
th
e arms of the chair.
“
What
...
what on earth do you mean?
...
Why did you ask me that
...
who has been talking about me?
”

“
No one ... nothing,
”
Brenda hastened to reassure her.
“
I didn
’
t mean to upset you
...
I ... Oh, well, I just thought it might be something to do with him, that
’
s all,
”
she ended breathlessly.

With an effort Jill regained her composure. She felt a sudden desire to confide in someone. She hadn
’
t been at St. Joseph
’
s long enough to make any intimate friend, and although she liked, and was liked in return by, most of her fellow nurses, she had felt no wish to foster any particular friendship. Of course there was Harriet ... her oldest friend, but of no help to her now
...
She found herself surreptitiously searching her companion
’
s expression, and she knew then that despite all that had gone before, she could count on Brenda
Malling
’
s understanding. The, urge to share her problems was no longer to be denied, and almost to her own surprise Jill found herself speaking.

“
I
’
ve no idea how you guessed
...
why you should mention Dr. McRey. I knew he would be difficult to work for Harriet warned me, but I don
’
t think I realized
how
diffi
cu
lt until later ... Unfortunately, I made a bad impression at the very start, and that made things worse, but I was determined to win his respect somehow ... I suppose it was a form of conceit, but I was quite sure that I could
.
..
”

“
But you have!
”
Brenda broke in eagerly.
“
It
’
s
ama
zi
ng
how he
’
s changed towards you; it
’
s the way you stood up to him, it took the wind out of his sails. There
’
s no doubt that he thinks well of you now.
”

“
Yes, I suppose I did win through
…” Jill
sighed.
“
If only I
’
d been satisfied and stopped at that. I think my success must have gone to my head, and instead of leaving things as they were ... I ... I thought we could be friends ... It might have worked, but I
’
ve hurt myself in the process. You see, I
’
ve grown to care for him—too much.
”

“
Oh, Jill, I
’
m sorry,
”
Brenda murmured sympathetically.
“
I don
’
t think you ought to be so miserable about it all the same, perhaps he does feel that way about you, too. You know he isn
’
t the type to rush his fences, I expect, he is shy where girls are concerned, grumbling at them comes much more readily to him,
”
she concluded in an effort to introduce a note of levity into the tense atmosphere.

“
I was fool enough, to think that, too, but I
’
ve come to my senses now. I believe that he cares for Harriet
Laine,
probably has done for a long time, but I was too blind to see it.
”

If Jill had hoped that Brenda would refute such a suggestion, she was disappointed.
“
I suppose that is possible
...”
she said dubiously.
“
I was here when Dr. Laine was appointed. There was awful trouble, at first. Dr. McRey was furious at the idea of a woman
assistant
... She stood up to him, too, and they
’
ve been firm friends ever since.
”

“
I believe it goes deeper than that now
...
”
Jill began, then broke off abruptly.
“
What
’
s the use of speculating. I shall have to get over my folly, and the sooner the better!
”
she ended on a note of defiance.

“
That
’
s the stuff
!
”
Brenda forced a laugh.
“
It
’
s the season of good cheer, you mustn
’
t be despondent
...
Anyway, I hate to see you miserable.
”

“
You
’
ve been so understanding, and I feel better since I
’
ve confided in you, but now please forget all about it.
”
It was perhaps fortunate that a tap on the door interrupted their discussion. Following the tap the Home Sister put her head-round and addressed Jill:
“
Phone call for you, Fernley. I
’
ve left the receiver off down in the hall.
”

As she withdrew her head, Jill jumped to her feet.
“
I can
’
t go down like this
...
Brenda,
be
a dear and take the message for me. I imagine it
’
s Nana. I promised to go over with some oddments I have for Terry
’
s stocking
...
I expect she
’
s wondering what
’
s happened. Tell her I got off late, but I
’
ll be over in half an hour or so.
”

By the time Brenda returned, her errand completed, Jill had slipped out of her dressing gown and had already donned a wool frock which she was fastening at the waist. Before Brenda had time to speak, Jill broke in:
“
Was she in a flap? Nana always gets worked up if I
’
m not punctual. Anyway, I intended to go over as late as I could, because I know that Dr. McRey has invited one or two of the staff for drinks before going on to dine at Dr. Laine
’
s, and I didn
’
t want to butt in. I hoped they would all have gone by the time I arrived.
”

“
It wasn
’
t Nana,
”
Brenda announced briefly as she seated herself on the edge of the bed, and waited for Jill to absorb the gist of her remark. Suddenly aware of its import, Jill, abandoning the fastening of her dress, looked up in astonishment.

“
Not
Nana
?
Then who was it
?
”

“
Dr
.
Laine. ... I offered to call you down, but she said I wasn
’
t to bother, that she
’
d give me a message,
”
Brenda replied.

“
Harriet? ... What did she want?
”
Jill asked with some surprise.

“
She was
ringing
from Dr. McRey
’
s house. You are right. He is giving a sherry party to some of the Medical Staff
...
”
Brenda hesitated, obviously at a loss to frame Harriet
’
s message.
“
She wants you to go over and join them ... She says it is going to be rather a special party
...
it
’
s to celebrate her engagement, and as an old friend she wants you to join them and drink her health.
”

There was a moment of hushed silence. Jill
’
s knees felt suddenly weak and she sank down gratefully on to the edge of the armchair.
“
I ... I don
’
t understand
...
I
...
I
...
”
She broke off at a loss for words, then as the full meaning of the message burst,, upon her, her eyes held an expression of mute appeal.
“
What shall I do
...
? Whatever shall I do?
”

Even Brenda appeared temporarily at a loss, then, although deeply conscious of her companion
’
s distress, she imbued her voice with a levity she was far from feeling.
“
Why, you must go, you can
’
t very well refuse.
”

“
Go?
”
Jill gave an involuntary shiver as she echoed the word in a tone of disbelief.
“
After what I
’
ve told you ... you couldn
’
t expect me to go. I couldn
’
t bear it!
”
For a moment she buried her face in her hands, then quickly regaining her control, looked up, an expression of f
irm
determination in her violet eyes.
“
I
’
m not going
...
ring back and say you just missed me, I
’
d gone out
... It won
’
t be a lie, because I will go out. I
’
ll go now, and you needn
’
t ring until after I
’
ve left.
”
Jill rose and finished fastening her dress, then searched feverishly in her cupboard for a coat.

“
Hold on a moment!
”
Brenda laid a detaining hand on Jill
’
s arm.
“
It
’
s no use running away from things
...
Please sit down for a moment and face the problem properly,
”
she begged.

“
There isn
’
t anything to face.
”
Jill swung round.
“
I don
’
t want to hear Harriet announce her engagement to Dr. McRey
... I
’
m glad for Harriet. Don
’
t misunderstand me; she is my friend and I want her happiness. The danger is that I might not act my part. Given time I
’
ll face up to things all right, but to see them
...
to have to congratulate them to-night, that
’
s out of the question.
”
She thrust her arms into the sleeves of her coat and buckled it at the waist, then opened her drawer for scarf and gloves. Clutching them in her hand she approached the door.
“
Don
’
t forget to phone, and don
’
t
b
other about me. I
’
ll be as right as rain by the morning.
”

“
Jill
...
just a moment,
”
Brenda implored.
“
I
’
ll phone, of course, but why must you go out? There is a mist blowing up, it
’
s a horrible night. Why not go to bed?
”

“
You
’
ve forgotten, I promised to help Nana. As soon as I think the party has broken up, I must go along to her
...
Meanwhile I
’
m going for a walk.
”
Before there was
time
for further protest the door had
close
d behind Jill, leaving Brenda, alone staring round the untidy room, littered not only with the remnants of their picnic tea, but with Jill
’
s discarded clothes which she had left scattered on the bed and across the back of the armchair. A lack of order so unlike Jill
’
s careful habits that it revealed all too clearly the profound depths of her distress.