The Skeptics Annotated Bible (9 page)

9 And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

12 And the man said,
The woman
whom thou gavest to be with me, she
gave me of the tree
, and I did eat.

13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said,
The serpent beguiled me
, and I did eat.

(3.12-13)
“The woman … gave me of the tree … The serpent beguiled me.”
Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the serpent.

14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field;
upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat
all the days of thy life:

(3.14)
“Upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat.”
God curses the serpent. From now on he will crawl on his belly and eat dust.

15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception;
in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children
; and thy desire shall be to
thy husband
, and he
shall rule over thee.

(3.16)
“In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. … Thy husband … shall rule over thee.”
God punishes Eve, and all women after her, with the pains of childbirth and subjection to men.

17 And unto Adam he said,
Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife
, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

(3.17)
“Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife”
Adam is also punished, although less severely. He now will have to work for a living because he “hearkened unto the voice” of his wife.

18
Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth
to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

(3.18)
“Thorns and thistles shall it bring forth.”
God curses the ground and causes thorns and thistles to grow. Before this, according to the (false) Genesis story, plants had no natural defenses. The rose had no thorn, cacti were spineless, and nettles had no sting. Foxgloves, oleander, and milkweeds were perfectly safe to eat.

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

20 And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was
the mother of all living.

(3.20)
“The mother of all living”
19 Is everyone descended from Adam and Eve?

21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

22 And the LORD God said,
Behold, the man is become as one of us
, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

(3.22)
“Behold, the man is become as one of us.”
God expels Adam and Eve from the garden before they get a chance to eat from that other tree—the tree of life. God knows that if they do that, they will live forever. A spooky thought indeed for an insecure god.
9 How many gods are there?