The Observations (54 page)

After a brief interval he wrote back,
absolutely delighted,
saying that he had never come across anything quite like it. This was a surprise to me as I had already sent him the manuscript the previous year under its original title “Observations of the Habits and Nature of the Domestic Class in My Time‘ by ”A Lady’ but on that occasion he had returned it, unread, with a brief, one-word note which said simply “Never‘.

However, he must have liked the new title because this time he sent a very conversational and friendly letter in which he complimented the manuscripts “satirical‘ style and begged to know the true identity of ”the mysterious Arabella R’. Apparently it is rare to encounter such an original and refreshing book in a business that is full of, as he put it “nothing but corner boys and sharks‘. As a for instance Mr. G went on to complain at length about the man he had just had lunch with, another publisher who, it seemed, was a terrible fellow that had, in the past, stole one of Mr. Gs books. Mr. G was very bitter about it and he became quite abusive at points in his recriminations to this man. However, towards the end of the letter, about the 9th page, he seemed to regain something of his former good humour. He apologised for the stain (where some fool in his office had knocked over a glass of wine) and invited me to take lunch with him, saying that he was curious to know the full story behind this ”highly entertaining’ manuscript and calling me a “capital fellow‘. To be perfectly honest, some aspects of his response gave me the impression that he had perhaps not read the manuscript all the way through. For one thing, I think he had confused me with Arabella and misunderstood her book altogether, that was two things. Not only that (here’s a third), he seemed to think that we were a man,
pretending
to be a woman!

I replied immediately, assuring him that
The Observations
was an important work of research written in all seriousness,
and
by a lady, and that I would be delighted to meet him and discuss its publication. However, he seems to have took offence at something I said because I have heard nothing from him since. Perhaps he does no longer be working at G—, B— and T—s. (He did mention some jealousies among colleagues that had put him in mind to hand in his resignation.)

These then are but a few examples of how well
The Observations
has been received and if the response so far is anything to go by then
1/2
the country wants to see this manuscript and publish it! But be advised once again that prior application must be made to myself and I will see what I can do.

What other news? Master James did visit missus quite a lot to begin with in those early months but as time went on, he appeared less and less and for the past year he has come not at all. As far as I know, he now lives in Manchester and is a Bigwig at the courts there.

I still have Mr. Levys last act in my possession. Unfortunately it did dry out over time and last year it met with a small accident and is now only a pinch of dust in the velvet bag. But I am keeping it nonetheless, to remind me of that dear man.

Talking of constipation, it seems Davy Flemyng is “blocked‘, leastwise there is no sign yet of his Masterwork and I do believe he has moved to Corstorphine in search of his Muse.

And what else? Well now it may interest you to know that Reverend Pollock was a passenger on the ill-fated SS
London
bound for Australia when that ship foundered in the Bay of Biscay in the year
“66.
He was one of those many souls that perished, a horrible death by all accounts, sucked beneath the waves they were, whilst singing ‘Rock of Ages”. The Bay of Biscay is north of Spain. Which reminds me, I have always imagined Spain to be a wonderful country, though I have never visited there of course.

Three cheers for Spain!

And three cheers for missus!

She is very popular here and still pretty as a rose. We have a lot of country dances at the asylum and she is never lacking a partner. Dancing and exercise and association are great cures for all ails, that is what Doctor Lawrence says and I have to agree with him for I believe that missus is happier here than she ever was at Castle Haivers.

Gentlemen, please forgive the many shortcomings of this document. In the main, I mean, where I describe too much of my own part in things. Also please excuse where I have wrote down oaths and their approximations, and where I have described squalid or unpleasant matters. It is only because I was asked to relay the story “warts and all‘. I have been assured that no matter what I reveal here, no action will be taken against any person as a result and I trust in Doctor Lawrence to fulfil that promise. He has shown me the locked cupboard where the manuscript is to be kept. He is a good and honest man and only wishes to examine the case of missus, in the hope of being more help to her.

But here we go now. It is high time I put the boots on all this. I am not sure what there is to be learned from these pages, except perhaps that happiness can be found in the strangest of places, even amongst those poor souls whose minds have become, for whatever reason, unhinged. Now that I am finished, Doctor Lawrence wants to know what I think of what I have wrote. All I can say is that it will be strange to be no longer doing it. I may have to think of another story to write to fill up those few hours between completing work and laying my head upon the pillow. But this time, instead of just recounting what has happened, it will have to be a story that I make up out my own head, because more or less all that I have ever known or done or seen or heard or felt in my life has been included in this account. And there is nothing more left over to tell.

So there you go. Farewell.
Au revoir.
Or, as they say where I come from, safe home.