The Devil's Dwelling (4 page)

We backed out the door and ran like hell for the car.  The Edsel didn’t want to start.

“Pump the foot feed.”  Mona told me bouncing in her seat looking over her shoulder.

“What the hell’s the foot feed?” I was looking all over for anything to pump.

“The accelerator.” Mona yelled.

I pumped the accelerator as instructed and the engine revved up. It sounded like the engine was going to blow. I threw it in reverse, backed up and made a rear end impression of the Edsel’s bumper in the car parked behind me, shifted to drive and cranked the wheel to the left, goosed it and knocked the car in front of me about ten feet forward with the Edsel’s heavy steel bumper.  After making our way from the parking space, we were on our way when smoke started bellowing from the front of the car.

“Stop the car! It’s on fire! Stop the car!” Mona yelled unbuckling for a quick exit.

I pulled the wheel hard to the right, bounced across the sidewalk and came to a  screeching halt on the lawn of Thompson Mortuary. The vapor was steaming from a hole in the radiator. The hauling hitch from the car in my way penetrated the Edsel’s radiator.

Mr. Thompson came running from the chapel. 

“I have a funeral service in session. What are you doing making all this commotion?”

He took a  second look.

“Tiffany , is that you in your Dad’s Edsel?  I should have known it was you. It’s time for the funeral procession and you are parked on the walkway. Get this piece of shit out of here.”

The chapel doors opened and six men dressed in black walked out carrying a big oak casket.  A casket spray of red carnations balanced on top with a ribbon reading ‘Loving Husband‘. They lifted the casket over the Edsel and maneuvered around the lawn aiming for the hearse. One poll bearer stepped in a hole causing the casket to tip. The pallbearer fell on his butt and the casket spray flew across the lawn landing on the Edsel. I had an instant Christmas wreath hanging from my hood ornament. Mr. Thompson grabbed the spray and placed it on the casket.  The men in black again balanced the casket and proceeded to carry it to the hearse. Forgetting he wore a toupee Mr. Thompson pulled at his hair lifting his toupee in the air. He slapped his hairpiece back on his head slightly lopsided and opened the back door to the hearse. But not before you could hear giggles from the crowd that had gathered while the commotion was going on. The pallbearer’s slide the casket into the hearse and the rollers took over. The casket rolled to the front of the hearse and locked in place. Mr. Thompson slammed the hearse door, straightened his toupee and elegantly escorted the family to the family car.

FOUR

I gave my Dad a call.  The answer machine came on.  “Dad, the Edsel isn’t working out for me.  I’ll drop it off this afternoon. Thanks.” 

I called Ace Towing to pick up the Edsel from Thompson Mortuary’s front lawn and to drop it off at my folks place.  Ace gave us a ride to the apartment before dropping the Edsel off at the folks place.

A couple hours later my cell phone rang. Thank God for caller ID.  Tiffany, I know you can hear me.  I told you not to bring the Edsel back riddled in bullets. That you did not, but what the hell! Did you go through a war zone?”

I could hear momma yelling, “Tell her she has to pay for fixing it.”

“Don’t worry about it, Tiffany, it’ll give me something to do.”

I’m a daddy’s girl. Now my older sister Kimberly, quite the opposite. She’s momma’s girl. Momma gets her out of bad situations all the time.  Such as the time when she was little she played mailman taking all the mail from the neighbors mailboxes and placing each letter through the grate in the streets water drain. Thank goodness, it hadn’t rained in a few days and Dad was able to fetch the letters from the drain. Momma told him it was an expression of ‘give and take‘.  A funny thing is she grew up to be a postal worker sorting mail.

I made a call to Mooney checking on my Blazer.

“Mooney, you about got the brakes fixed on my Blazer?”

“No, I had to order some parts. It’ll be another week or so before you can drive it. You free tonight? Thought I might pick up a pizza and a movie and head over to your place after work.”

“I have a new roommate. So, bring two pizza‘s.”

“Who’s the roommate?”

“Just a gal down on her luck. In fact she’s my new partner at the firm.”

Mona over hearing the conversation and blurted out.  “I can stay in my room.  I don’t want to be in the way.”

“Don’t be silly.  Mooney and I are just good friends.  I call him my boyfriend. It makes him feel good.  Nothing serious. You‘ll understand when you meet him.”

Mooney and I attended the same high school.  Mooney is a nice guy but very simple minded. He’s a good mechanic.  His brother, Todd set him up with the garage.  His sister-in-law Megan takes care of the appointments, billing and keeps the office going. Mooney would fix all his friends rigs for free if it weren’t for Megan.

There was a knock at the door. Dum de de dum dum, dum dum!

“Who’s that?” Mona jumped from the sofa.  I motioned for her to set down.

“It’s Mooney with our dinner and a movie. That’s our secret knock.”

“Come in Mooney.”

Mooney walked in with two pizza balanced high above his head and a six pack of  beer under his arm.

“Give me those, you’re gonna drop them.” I grabbed the pizza and put them on the coffee table. His coveralls with MOONEY’S GARAGE stenciled across the back smelled of oil and gasoline. His cap was cocked on the side of his head. He stopped short of walking on the carpet and pulled his shoes off balancing himself with one arm flinging out to the side.

“See, Tiffany, I remembered to take my shoes off.”  He looked at Mona’s shoes and shamed her with his finger.

“Mooney girls don’t get their shoes all greasy like you do at the garage.”

“Your clothes are in the bathroom you get your shower before we eat. Excuse me, Mooney, this is Mona, my partner.”

Mona stretched her hand out for Mooney to shake. “Hi Mooney, good to make your acquaintance.”

Mooney wiped his hand on his pants and shook Mona’s hand.

“Like wise, ma‘am.  Now I have to go shower or Tiffany won‘t let me have dinner.”

Mooney came from the shower dressed in clean coverall’s.

It didn’t take long for us to down two  pizza’s and a six pack of  beer.  Mona and I sat on the sofa and Mooney lay in the floor on his belly watching ‘The Three Stooges’ laughing and burying his face in the throw pillow while he kicked his legs in the air.

FIVE

I called Bo’s Taxi for a ride downtown to Hood’s Used Car lot.  Bo’s rig was hitting on about two cylinders when he picked us up.

“When you gonna get this rig to the garage?  Last time you picked me up it was running crappy.“

Bo grinned and turn the radio up to drown out my complaining.

Colorful plastic triangle shaped flags were strung on a string from the office to the corner polls in the car lot. The triangles were flapping in the wind making a popping noise. Mr. Hood flat footed it across the car lot with his brimmed hat cocked to the side of his head, chewing on a toothpick and giving us a big gold tooth grin. With every step he pulled his pants up from the buckle in the front. You could tell his pants are usually falling off from the frayed hem in the back leg of his pants.

“I noticed Bo’s Taxi dropped you off. You needin’ some wheels? He tipped  his hat and ran his fingers through a few strands of hair and replaced his hat again making sure he cocked it to the side.

“My Blazer is getting new brakes and it will be a couple weeks before the parts come in.”

“I can put you in a nice rig. You see something you like on the lot I’ll make you a hell of a deal.” He started toward the front row where the more expensive rigs are parked.

“No needing in heading up front I’m looking for something to give me wheels for a couple of weeks not a life time. Do you have lifetime warranty’s?”  I laughed.

“First thirty days or two thousand miles is all the warranty you get from me.” Mr. Hood smiled and his gold tooth caught the sunlight blinding me.

We found a nice Ford Explorer setting in the back of the lot next to a trailer set up for an office.

“What are you asking for this one?” 

I looked in checking out the interior. Hopped in the drivers seat and turned the ignition over. “Let’s go for a test drive.”

“It aint for sale.”  Mr. Hood threw his hat on the ground , picked it up and dusted it off, straightened the brim and put it back on his head. “It aint for sale.”

“Don’t give me that song and dance you sell cars, everything is for sale.”

“That’s my personal rig.”  Mr. Hood was rubbing the back of his neck when Mona and I drove off the lot. We made a few blocks and headed back to the lot. Mr. Hood was sitting on the steps to the office shaking his head. I jumped from the Explorer and walked up to Mr. Hood.

“What’s your bottom dollar?”

Mr. Hood pushed his hat to the back revealing his balding head. “Like I said it’s not for sale. But if you really want to buy it it’ll cost you.”

Mr. Hood came up with a dollar amount and I offered 500 dollars less.

“Okay, it’s yours. That’ll be cash.”

“I don’t have cash but my words good. I’ll bring you the money in a few weeks.”

“You get my price down and you don’t have the money to buy this rig.” Shaking his head. “Come on in the office.” We followed Mr. Hood up the steps to his office a trailer from the fifties with a small dinette area for signing papers.  The back of the trailer was set up for storing files and maybe napping or whatever on the cot.

Mr. Hoods secretary wrote a note for the car. He slapped a temporary tag on the rear window. I signed the note and Mona and I again had wheels.

Sheriff Randy Reagan and I have been seeing each other for too many years to count. Seems when Randy is ready to commit I’m not and the reverse. Randy joined the sheriff department right out of Junior College and worked his way through the ranks. He was elected Sheriff about five years ago.  He doesn’t approve of my occupation, although he is always ready to help me out when I find myself in a bad situation or needing information.

My phone rang. I looked at the readout.  “It’s the Sheriff .“  I told Mona.

“I hear you are looking for Marty Martin. Meet me over at Main and K Street.”

“You got it. I’m driving a red explorer.”

“What happened to the Blazer?”

“It’s in the shop getting new shoes.”

“The way you drive her I’m not surprised.”  Sheriff Reagan said and chuckled.

I pulled out from the curb heading for Main and K Street when I  noticed a black sedan in my rear view mirror.

“Mona, we have a tail. It‘s the same dang black sedan we chased the other day.”

I tossed the phone to Mona.

“Hit number one on speed dial and tell Sheriff Reagan we have a tail and won’t be stopping at the lot.”

“Sheriff Reagan.” Came across the phone loud and clear.

“This is Mona, Tiffany’s partner. We have a tail. We’ll just drive by the lot. Maybe you can get a make on the black sedan.”

I cut the corner making a cloud of dust as we crossed the empty lot. The black sedan was in pursuit and couldn’t see the Sheriff’s car for the dust bellowing up.  I continued on trying to ditch the black sedan.