The Boy Project (10 page)

Passed Dylan Hudson in the hall this morning and thought I may as well unobtrusively observe him then and there since I have NO classes with him and rarely get a chance to even see him because he is SO popular and SO athletic that he's always barricaded by fans. He's one of those guys I never really think about. After all, he hasn't said so much as “hi” to me since he moved here in fifth grade. He thinks he's too cool to speak to girls like me (he is). But there are plenty of girls he does talk to and he's always dating one of them. If it's not the most popular girl in seventh grade, it's the most popular girl in eighth or even sixth. Age doesn't matter to Dylan. Popularity does.

I whirled around and started casually following him while trying to go unnoticed. As we walked toward the gym (he must have PE first period) about a million people spoke to Dylan.

“ 'Sup, Dylan?”

“Yo.”

“Great game, Dylan.”

“You're d'man.”

“Dude.”

But no one spoke to me. It turns out that when you're walking in the wake of someone as magnificently popular as Dylan, you don't have to worry about getting noticed. When I thought about how easy it was to go unnoticed in Dylan's wake, it was kind of depressing. . . .

Dylan eventually went through the doors of the gym, so I stopped following him. I've done a lot of things I normally wouldn't do for this research project already, but I draw the line at spending extra time with Coach Little.

Guess how I found out James Powalski is no longer single? By reading his hand! That's right, James strolled into second period this morning with
Property of Tabbi Reddy
written on his hand. I whirled around to look at Tabbi, but she wasn't looking at me. She was staring at James and silently giggling. Blech! You'd think it'd take longer than forty-eight hours to get over being dumped by your soul mate.

I managed to ask Tabs about it when we were changing classes. She impatiently ran fingers through her short blond hair and said, “I was wrong about Evan. Anyway, just yesterday you mentioned that James has gotten a lot cuter.”

I admitted that I had. But I added that I couldn't see how she could like someone who used to let The Vine climb all over him. She rolled her eyes and said, “You can't judge people by who they
used
to date, Kara. I certainly don't want to be judged by
that
loser.”

She nodded toward Evan as we entered Mrs. Hill's class. He had his arms locked with Maybelline's.
Then Tabs stalked away to wrap her arm around James's shoulders. I guess they had gotten cold after The Vine uprooted.

Even though I was annoyed with her, I didn't have the heart to tell Tabbi that standing arm in arm with a girl like Maybelline hardly makes Evan look like a loser.

My social life has hit rock bottom. I, Kara McAllister, am sitting alone at a table. This wouldn't be so bad if the table didn't have room for twelve. And if it wasn't located in the cafeteria surrounded by full tables, one of which Tabbi is sitting at with James and his friends.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm going about this research all wrong. Maybe instead of observing boys, I should be observing girls. Girls who've had relationship success, that is. Maybe by watching them, I can figure out what I need to do to get a boyfriend! I may as well start now. When you're alone at a table for twelve, it's crucial that you look busy. Like you've actually
chosen
exile.

Gina Johns (AKA: The Vine) is newly single and she's probably already planning to do whatever it is she does to get boys to like her. So I'm starting with her. She's currently giving Alex L a hug. Man, does he look uncomfortable. His eyes keep wandering over to Tiffany Davidson (AKA: The Sponge) who either

(a) is ignoring him.

or

(b) has forgotten he exists.

Wait. Alex is tapping Gina on the shoulder. She's letting go. Now he's backing away from her. He must have told her he had to go or something, to get her to loosen her grip. The Vine doesn't seem bothered by this obvious (and public) rejection! She's heading toward some guy whose name I can't remember. He seems to like being hugged like a stuffed toy.

Hmmm. In the time it took me to write this card, The Vine has moved on to yet another boy! There is kind of no point observing her anymore. She just does the same thing over and over again. So I'm moving on to Maybelline. Thanks to Tabbi, I already know what her boy attraction method is. Plus, I have a great view of her.

You know what really stinks? Maybelline doesn't really have to do anything to get attention from boys. Right now she's at the popular table with Evan, who looks completely out of place. The Sponge and three other guys are sitting there, too. Maybelline's talking. And every male at the table is looking at her like her conversation is fascinating. Which has to be a total act. In all of the years I've know her, I've never heard her say a single interesting thing! It's not fair!

Poor Gina has to put all kinds of energy into getting guys to look at her (by getting so close to them that they can't look anywhere else) while Maybelline just sits there. Then when she sees something she wants (Evan) she just walks up and takes it with no effort at all.

Whew! Lunch is almost over. If I go to the bathroom before walking s-l-o-w-l-y to class, I can escape my exile now.

Unfortunately for me, Julie even runs on the weekends and guess who is expected to go with her?

It didn't exactly make me feel any better about getting up at the crack of dawn when I realized that Julie looked even
less
happy than usual to see me and my seventy-eight-dollar shoes come down the stairs. As soon as we got out of the driveway, she explained.

“Look, Kara, I know you want to use your new shoes and all, but I need you to stop running with me every morning.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to start running with Lyle,” she sighed. (I knew it!)

“I can see why — he's totally cute!” I said.

Julie smiled. “I didn't think you noticed stuff like that.”

“Of course I do!” I said. “The only reason I even bought these sneakers was to get another chance to see this guy who works at the mall.”

Julie laughed and stopped running . . . to hug me!!! Julie's not exactly the touchy-feely type, so I was kind of surprised by the hug.

Then she gave me all of the details about her and Lyle. Last night they went to the movies with a bunch of friends. Julie claims it counts as their first date since Lyle held her hand the whole time.

I was more than happy to agree to give up running! So we devised a plan. I will wear my running shoes to school every day and try to wear them out in a hurry (I know I'll look like a dork, but it will be worth it if I can stop waking up at 6:00 a.m.). Meanwhile, she'll try to think of some way for me to get out of our morning run without getting either of us into trouble.

We ended up at Lyle's house, of course, and he came down the driveway in brand-new running shoes! He gave Julie a quick kiss before they took off, leaving me behind — a third wheel rolling along in the distance. I didn't mind, though. Maybe Lyle is Julie's soul mate and maybe I'll find one too when I'm sixteen. And I was also happy to know that one of my plans actually seemed to work, even if it didn't work for
me
, because it looks like buying new running shoes might be helping
Lyle
find a soul mate!

Since Julie is the only person anywhere near my age that I've seen today, I thought I might as well make a card on her. The method she uses to attract boys is now pretty obvious to me.

The more I think about it, the more I'm not sure this particular research strategy is worth continuing. So far, I've observed three girls. One gets boys to notice her by hugging them. One gets boys to notice her by being beautiful. One gets boys to notice her by running.

I know for sure that none of these boy-getting strategies will work for me. First of all, I can't help my looks. There's nothing I can do to make myself look like Maybelline. Second, I can't stand running. I'm RELIEVED that Julie doesn't want to run with me anymore! Finally, I am not about to go hugging random boys to get one to notice me. That's just not me. If I started acting like that, I wouldn't be Kara.

Tabbi called me last night to see if I wanted to go to a get-together at Dianna Leroy's and to ask if she could spend the night afterward. We always try to have sleepovers at my house because it's not much fun at Tabs's, thanks to her mom's obsession with early bedtimes. I said yes, of course.

Anyway, I'd just gotten my fourth e-mail from Bebe Truelove, along with another ad.

To: Kara M

From: BebeTruelove

Subject: Tip #4

Dear Soul Mate Seeker,

It's not
what
you look like, it's
how
you look. No man can resist the following trick!

Tip #4: Give him the bug eye.

Good Luck in Love,

Bebe

Wear Red!

Sure, looks aren't everything, but you will look your best in this red velvet bikini!

Click here to order now!

♥
Red
♥

(Must be 18 years of age to order.)

I took Bebe's advice to mean that you go up to a guy and tell him you have a bug in your eye. Then when he touches your face to help you get it out . . . sparks will fly! Maybe.

So I went to Dianna's with Tabs (who spent the entire time with James) just to try the Bug Eye out on a few guys. It didn't work the way I thought it would at all.

After the party I found out why the Bug Eye didn't work for me. As soon as we got to my room, I turned to Tabs and said, “Did you have to spend
every minute
with James?”

“Yep,” she laughed. “I knew I'd get to talk to you
after
the party.”

I groaned. “I'm tired of being the only one who doesn't have a date. It's so awkward.”

“First of all, you weren't the only one without a date. Only two people there had dates. And second, if you want a date, why don't you try harder to get guys to notice you?”

“I am trying!” I practically yelled. “I even did the Bug Eye test during the party and no one was interested.”

“Kara . . . What'd you do?”

“I went up to four different guys and told them a bug had just flown into my eye. And none of them touched my face like they were supposed to or got any closer to me to help me out.”

Tabbi tugged at her bottom eyelid until I could see the slimy, red-veined part. My response was pretty much the same as Subject #6's.

“You didn't do
this
, did you?” she asked.

I nodded weakly.

Tabs rolled back on the bed and laughed. And laughed. And laughed. For me, it was not the feel-good moment of the year. When she caught her breath she sat up. “What guy wants to look at
that
? I don't know what you read, but when it comes to guys, this is what
the
bug eye
means.”

Then Tabs tilted her head down, while glancing up and batting her eyelashes. She looked pretty cute. I'm fairly certain I've never had that look on my face in my life.

Maybe I'll practice in front of the mirror. But even if I do, somehow I think it's gonna take a lot more courage for me to look at a guy the way Tabbi just showed me than to walk up and ask for his assistance in removing an insect from my cornea.