Sweet Serenade (Riverbend Romance 3) (9 page)

“Oh?” Reed resisted the urge to glance toward Joseph’s SUV where the windows were a tad steamed up. Hopefully they’d join the group soon. “What’s up?”

Carly shook her head and pulled him toward the log they usually sat on.
 

Seemed nearly everyone had paired off over the past few months. Couples sat in close embrace all around the fire. It was getting rather awkward, if he were honest with himself. Sometimes he didn’t know where to look. Resting his eyes on Carly wasn’t always the best option, because that filled him with longing, too.

How long, Lord?

Tonight she sat on the ground in front of him. Reed gathered her hair and let it slide between his fingers, feeling the softness, smelling the fragrance of her shampoo. He leaned closer, wrapping both arms around her shoulders and drawing her against him. He nuzzled the curve of her neck, hair and all.

Carly’s hands caught his in a firm grip but, instead of relaxing against him as she usually did, she shifted slightly away. Not far enough to break contact, but enough to be noticeable.

Had he done something wrong? Said something he shouldn’t have? They hadn’t seen each other the night before. Carly had texted and said she had a headache and wasn’t feeling well. He’d hardly known what to do with his long, empty evening.

“Still have that headache?” he whispered.

She shook her head. Still no relaxing. Okay. He wouldn’t push her.

“Hey, Daniels! Want to play my guitar tonight?” Peter hollered from across the fire, his arm around his girlfriend.

Reed could make a guess why Peter didn’t want to play. Same reason Reed was content to sit back and feel the closeness of the girl he loved. Yes, loved. Less than two months since they’d met, but he knew that much.

Carly tilted her head back at him.

He grinned at her. “Mind if I play tonight?”

She sat up straighter. “Go for it. I’d like to hear.”

Reed looked at Peter. “Sure. So long as no one expects greatness.”

“Funny, Daniels. You can outplay me any day of the week, and you know it.” Peter disengaged from his girl. He reached for the guitar leaning against a stump and carried it around to Reed. “Here you go. No head-banging stuff, okay?”

Reed chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Carly shifted from between his knees to beside him as he gave an experimental strum and adjusted a tuning peg slightly. There. That was better. He caught her gaze as he began to fingerpick a song he’d been writing. Someday he’d sing the words to her, but definitely not in public.

It didn’t take him long to pick his way through a bunch of old favorites and into worship choruses. Some of the group began to sing along. Joseph and Brittany slid in beside Peter across the fire.

“Holy, holy, holy. Lord God almighty...” he sang, strumming along. Sometimes he simply needed to focus on God and not on circumstances. Not on Carly. Tonight he’d fill his mind with thoughts of God’s worthiness.

“Where were you guys?” he heard Peter ask.

“None of your business.” Brittany sounded smug.

A few people, including Peter, laughed.

Reed was singing alone now. He allowed the vocals to drift away and focused on the chording.

Beside him, Carly shifted. His knee felt chilled where her touch left him. His gaze dropped to her, but she was staring into the fire. Or maybe across it?

“I do have news you guys will be interested, though.”

Reed glanced at Brittany. Why was she looking at him? Even in the semi-darkness, her eyes seemed to glitter. A shaft of unease pierced him, but that was silly. He’d done nothing wrong. He bent his head over the guitar, listening to minor chords that didn’t seem to belong to any song he knew. Waiting for Brittany’s news, like everyone else.

“Reed’s not as high and mighty as you’d think, for all his talk of waiting.”

He jerked a little. She made waiting sound like a communicable disease. But where was she going with this?

A couple of girls tittered. A few of the group looked his way. Carly drew her knees up to her chest. She was definitely staring at her cousin and not looking all that friendly about it.

Uh oh.

“Apparently the boy does know how to kiss.” Brittany’s voice dripped poison. “Who’d have believed it?”

Carly surged to her feet. “That’s enough out of you.”

“Oh, come on. You’re the one who told me he was pretty good.” Brittany fanned her face.

Reed’s heart was trapped by a blizzard. Frozen. Unmoving. Carly had said that to her cousin? Over the years, Brittany had managed to get most of the fellows in the youth group and, later, the college and careers group to date her. To kiss her. And more, in some cases.

Reed glanced at Joseph. Likely in his case, too.

“Whoa, Daniels. That true?” Joseph asked with a laugh. “You’ve been off smooching in the bushes and telling everyone else to hold back?”

“Kind of a double standard, sounds like,” mumbled someone.

Reed couldn’t make out who’d said that.

“I never said that to you.” Carly stalked around the fire until she was nearly blocking his view of Brittany. “You’re blowing what I said way out of proportion. Reed respects me, and I respect him.”

“Respect.” Brittany waved a hand past her nose as though the word had a bad odor. “It only goes so far.”

“I’d much rather have respect than what you’ve got.”

Silence reigned for a long moment.

“What do you mean by that?” Brittany demanded.

“Do you really want me to spell it out here?”

Reed sucked in a long breath and tried to restart his heart. The guitar slid to the ground.

Carly whirled around. “Most of you have known each other for years. I haven’t, but I thought when I joined in with a group of people from the church that you guys believed in waiting. That you’d hold each other up to a high standard instead of making fun of someone who lives that ideal quietly.”

“Yeah, but did he kiss you?” asked one of the other girls.

“What is a kiss compared to what I’m talking about here?”

“From Reed? Practically the same.”

“It is not the same. Don’t be so stupid. Just because he values a kiss more than some of you—not naming any names—value your virginity doesn’t make it the same thing.”

They’d been speculating about him and Carly? Oh, man. And why was she taking the brunt of this? What was going on between her and her cousin, anyway?

“I really thought I’d found something special with all of you.” Carly turned slowly. “Good friends who had each other’s backs and would challenge each other to a better life.” Her gaze caught on Reed’s for a second before she looked at the next person. “I no longer want to be associated with any of you.”

“Feel free to move out,” Brittany said.

“I’ll be gone by morning,” Carly shot back. “You won’t even notice.”

Was Reed one of the ones she no longer wanted to know? That couldn’t be. He got to his feet, carried the guitar around the fire, and leaned it on the stump behind Peter.

“Want to head back to town?” he asked Carly quietly, reaching for her hand. He might as well have shouted it with so many eyes focused on the two of them.

She crossed her arms in front of her and stalked over to his truck. He reached for the door handle, but she elbowed him aside and opened it herself.

Looked like it grated on her to even accept a ride from him. Sorrow and anger pierced Reed to the core. How could this possibly have come between them? There must be more. Had to be.

Reed rounded the vehicle and climbed into the driver’s seat. He turned on the ignition and glanced her way as he shifted into Reverse. “Want to talk?”

“Not really.”

“Serious about moving out?”

“Never been more serious in my life.” Carly all but spat rocks.

“Where are you going?” After all this, she must know he couldn’t provide an option.

“A hotel tonight. Then I guess I’ll quit my job tomorrow and see what happens. I’ve had it, Reed. I can’t handle this.”

Reed’s words failed him.

Chapter 11

“How can every hotel in town be full?” At least the ones Carly could afford. She growled with frustration. Even worse was that Reed would not leave her until she found a place. If he would only go away, she’d sleep in her car. By sleep, she meant sitting and staring into the darkness, remembering all the reasons she wasn’t good enough for him.

“The cherry festival is getting more popular every year.” Reed stood beside her under the hotel’s neon sign. “I have an idea. Let me call Steph.”

“I don’t even know her.”

“Come out to my pla—“

“Yeah, right.”

“I’ll pitch my tent over in my folks’ yard. You can have my apartment to yourself.”

“Reed, stop.” Her heart was going to break. Again.

She’d lost count of how many times he’d tried to hold her hand since the blow-up. How many times he’d slid his arm around her. Once more, she stepped out of easy reach. She couldn’t stand the disappointment in his eyes, for everything. “How can you be so nice to me?”

“Carly.”

She stared at his sports sandals.

“Carly, I-I love you.”

Her heart stopped. “But you can’t.”

“Why? Just because Brittany is making a big deal about the kiss? I wouldn’t take back that kiss if I could.”

Somehow his hands caressed her arms, and she hadn’t dodged away in time. “She said...”

“I’ve known your cousin most of my life. She says a lot. Whatever she thinks will get her her own way. Some of the others jumped on her bandwagon tonight, but they’ll regret it.”

He didn’t sound vindictive or like he’d make them be sorry. Just that they’d wake up and realize.

“Carly, don’t block me out.” He rested his forehead against hers, but she couldn’t make herself look into his gorgeous dark eyes. “Don’t let Brittany ruin what we have.”

At that she pulled away and wrapped both arms around herself to keep the sudden chill at bay. “She doesn’t need to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Reed, why can’t you just be angry with me? It would make things so much easier.”

He was quiet for so long she snuck a peek. His eyes were closed. Probably praying. He did that more than anyone she’d ever known. Brittany was absolutely correct. Carly wasn’t good enough for this man. No matter that she’d felt closer to God in the past few months than she ever had. It was a sham.
She
was a sham.

Which would hurt more? Pushing him away, or telling him everything and him pushing her away? It was a toss-up. Either way, the end result would be the same.

Why had Brittany been so mean? She wasn’t the easiest person to get along with at the best of times, but she’d gone out of her way this time.

“About your cousin.” Reed sighed heavily. “She’s always been a bit boy-crazy. She had her sights set on me for a while.”

Carly’s imagination had no trouble picturing that in living color.

“Remember I told you I took her out once? We went to a movie, maybe five years ago.”

Brittany had missed telling Carly that part.

“She couldn’t keep her hands to herself. She tried to kiss me, and more.” He took a deep breath. “I walked out of the theater and left her there. Later I heard she’d had a bet with her girlfriends.”

“I-I didn’t know.” Not that it changed anything. After all, he’d resisted.

“It seemed she’d grown out of that phase but, after tonight, I’m not so sure. Anyway, that’s probably why she said all those things. She finally saw a chance to get even with me.”

It might explain part of it.

His hands caught her shoulders again. “Can you forgive me?”

Carly stared at him in shock. “For what?”

“I don’t know. For even looking at her for five minutes.”

“Five minutes five years ago? There’s nothing to forgive. I wasn’t in the picture.”

Reed’s hands tangled in her hair. “I don’t want anything between us. Full disclosure seemed like a good idea.”

He was wrong about that.

She fixed her gaze on his. “Are you really a virgin?”

“I am.” He could swallow her with his eyes. “I’m saving sex for the woman God wants me to marry. I—“ His words broke off as his hands pulled her nearer.

He couldn’t possibly love her that much. Carly pushed his hands down. Away. She took a deep breath. “I didn’t.”

~*~

Reed’s brain scrambled to keep up. “You didn’t... what?” She couldn’t possibly mean...

She stood just out of reach, hands shoved deep into her shorts’ pockets. The hotel light silhouetted her, and he couldn’t make out her expression.

“I’m not a virgin, Reed. I’ve done it several times with two different guys.”

Why had he assumed otherwise? He’d always believed purity was worth everything, and that God would reward him with a bride who felt the same. Did that mean Carly wasn’t the woman for him after all? Or had he set his sights on unrealistic expectations?
God, what am I supposed to do now?

“Yeah, I knew what your reaction would be.”

She sounded close to tears, but after all the times she’d pushed him away this evening, reaching for her now would be just as useless.

God? I could use the right words here this very second. The moment is slipping away.

But there was no voice from heaven. He was on his own. “Carly, there’s nothing God can’t forgive.”

“Apparently He can forget, too, but we’re not God. Now that you know my dirty little secret, you won’t forget. You may not air it to the whole group the way Brittany would if she found out—”

Thank God for small mercies if Brittany didn’t know.

“—but it’s between us all the same. I’m sorry for leading you on into thinking I was pure. It’s all in the past. A long way in the past, but it happened.”

He moved closer, but she stepped away, like they were in some weird dance. “Carly...” What to say?
God? Help a man out here.

“Reed, I’m sorry.” Her voice broke. “I should’ve known better than to fall for a sweet Christian guy. I’ll remember this summer for the rest of my life.”

“Carly.”

She fished her car keys out of her pocket. “Don’t. Deep inside, you know we can’t get over this. I’ll go to work tomorrow because I have an early client, and then I’m leaving town.” Her voice hitched. “I’ll never forget you.”