Spread Your Wings: Men in Blue, Book 4 (7 page)

“No, no. It’s okay. I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t one of the hottest experiences of my life and would have been even without the chemicals poisoning me.” Even now, the memories had the power to rev her up. And Jeremy was at work on the graveyard shift down at the station. Damn. She drew on years of experience to focus. “I will say, Matt is one of the biggest guys I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen plenty.”

“No kidding, he’s built like a refrigerator.” Jambrea hummed. “I like that. He makes me feel dainty. I haven’t felt like that since I was five.”

“Jambs, I mean he’s big everywhere.
Enormous
.” Since when did Lily blush? She’d developed the bad habit since Jeremy had assumed control. Damn him.

“Oh. Right.” Jambrea groaned. “Now I hate you even more.”

“I’m just warning you because I think someday you’re going to need to be prepared. As soon as we can figure out the rest.” She wondered if vanilla relationships would be as easy to puzzle through as the more structured power exchanges she indulged in. In her world, there were rules, understandings, clear delineations of authority. Jambi was living in a free for all. Fucking terrifying. “And unless I’m completely off the mark, I’m betting you don’t have a ton of experience.”

“Uh.” No response was answer enough.

“I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I wish I could tell Jeremy he was shortlisted, one of a precious few, but my dad had me trained by the time most kids go to college. You know that. Your experience is so different from my life. I forget sometimes how wholesome you are.”

“Lily, your father was a monster. That’s no reflection on you.”

“Thanks, and I get that. Really.” Her new husband had made sure of it. In such a short time, he’d erased most of her doubts and replaced them with reassurance and love. It would mean so much to help people she cared about find something as precious.

“So, tell me why you’re suddenly nervous? Beating around the bush isn’t like you.” Without flinching, Jambrea challenged Lily despite her complete Mistress mode. That took balls. “What haven’t you told me? How could it be worse than fucking the guys? Although, they made out with me
after
that, for the record. Things weren’t all wonky yet. Maybe if I hadn’t been so timid we could have already sealed the deal by then.”

“No use in wondering
what if
. They didn’t make it easy on you. They were more interested in butting heads in some crazy bid for your attention than in working together. I think it was that night, that crazy orgy, that might have flipped on a light bulb for Matt and Clint.” Lily schooled herself not to squirm. “I think they liked what they saw. Or at least they realized there are many possibilities beyond the conventional.”

“So what turned them off again? Me?” Jambrea deflated.

“I don’t think they’re disinterested. In fact, the opposite is likely true.” She chose her words carefully.

“Oh sure. They’re soooooooo horny at the thought of the three of us getting it on together they would rather suffer irreparable degradation of their vertebral columns than join me in my shitty, but pretty comfy, bed. Sounds like I barely escaped being fucked to death with Matt’s giant cock. Ugh.”

“Jambrea. Stop. It’s
not
you.”

“It’s them. I know. They said so.” She put her head in her hands and rocked on the chair.

“No. It was me. A couple days after the Sex Offender thing, I was just messing around. I’m sorry. I thought they’d figure it out eventually on their own or maybe that they already had. Plus I like to poke in people’s heads a little, you know, bad habit.” Lily tried to talk fast. “They pissed me off. And when they asked how to make it up to me, I…”

“Whoa.” Jambrea let her fingers slide apart so she could stare at Lily. “You’re never speechless. What’s going on? What did you do?”

“I dared them to kiss each other. And I think they liked it.”

“What!” The chair clattered against the hardwood floor when it toppled. Jambrea stood, her chest heaving as if she’d sprinted in from the parking lot. “Matt kissed Clint? Like full-on, mouth to mouth?”

“Yep. At first it was kind of more chin to chin. But they figured it out pretty quick. It was hardly anything, but I could see it had the potential to become a lot more.” A sigh escaped her at the memory.

“Stop drooling.” Jambrea glared at her.

Lily actually swiped her hand across her lips to double check.

“Oh my God, you’ve been living my dream life.” The tall, statuesque woman began to pace after righting the chair she’d so recently occupied. “I can’t believe this. I mean, I’m happy for them of course. But why wouldn’t they just tell me? I’d have supported them.”

“I’m not sure about that part.” What a mess. How could Lily fix things?

“So you think they’re trying to tell me they’re into each other now?” Jambrea’s forehead creased as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “I guess I was a convenient excuse for them to experiment. And when they didn’t need that pretext anymore…I got Photoshopped right out of the picture?”

“I don’t know, Jambi. That doesn’t ring true to me.” Lily shook her head. “Damn men, I’ve spent most of my life learning how they think, but sometimes they still surprise me. How do you feel about the two of them being intimate with each other?”

“It’s fucking hot as hell.” Jambrea paused her circuit when Lily joined her on the lovely area rug. Gunther hadn’t even blinked when she’d requested a sizable budget for decorating her workspace. It was all part of setting the stage. She put her arms around Jambi, unable to leave the woman alone another moment. Considering her absentee family, Lily’s friend sometimes had issues with trust and abandonment. Didn’t they all? Maybe soon she’d believe she’d never have to fight alone again. “Could you imagine…?”

Lily recalled all too well the intimacy of their kiss. Awkward and new, there’d still been something there that had soaked her panties. Well, it would have if she’d been wearing any. Then again, she did like to watch two men together. They touched…differently…than when they were with a woman. It was delicious.

“Well, actually, I don’t have to. I saw it, remember?” She winked at Jambrea, giggling when she took in the other woman’s gaping jaw. “It was as sexy as you’re imagining.”

“Great. Now I’m going to have more dreams about impossible things. Unless I grow a dick tomorrow, they’re not going to want me.” Jambrea sighed. “I give up, Lily. I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of striking out. Of all the stars misaligning. Luck hates me. I want something fast and fun. A sure thing. Is that too much to ask?”

“No, honey, it’s not.” Screw this. Lily squeezed the woman on the edge of losing her composure. “I’m just not sure I have the right venue for what you’d like.”

“Oh.” Jambrea went stiff in her arms. “I didn’t think of that. Am I insulting you by asking you to use the Playground as a hook up spot? I don’t think of you as some kind of madam. Shit, I have no idea what the protocol is here. I should have asked before I assumed…”

“Shush.” Lily chuckled as she swatted Jambrea’s shoulder. “You’re fine. Sure, this place means more to the majority, but there are some people looking to scratch an itch. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t know what you’re looking for in a partner, really. We’d need to hammer that out before I could make any suggestions.”

At the end of the day, Lily knew what the best match would be. But they could take the long way there. “Are you looking for a strictly-sex, one-night show, a fling or something that could turn into a forever thing, even if there’s no pressure right at first?”

“Oh. I guess I’d like a normal relationship at some point. It just doesn’t seem like fate has that in the cards for me.” She shrugged.

“Why do you say that? I kind of thought you preferred your independence since you haven’t dated in all the time I’ve known you.” Not a bad approach, Lily admitted. At least until you meet the right guy, or guys, who sweep all your protests away. Sort of like Matt and Clint had for Jambrea. Definitely like Jeremy had done for her.

“Who says being single was by choice?” her friend countered.

“I got the sense you weren’t looking.” Lily was impossible to bullshit. “Or maybe even that you were taken. Unavailable. There have been so many times I’ve seen guys flirt with you and it bounces right off. You don’t seem to care.”

“I think you’re exaggerating. It’s not like men throw themselves at me.” She waved her hands up and down her body. Lily would kill for some of her friend’s height.

“Oh yeah? What about the cute waiter who always gives us free dessert at the Creekside Café? He even puts his business card, including his cell number, in the folio with the receipt each time.” Lily shook her head.

“Who, Mark? He probably does that to all his customers.”

“No. He doesn’t. I’ve been there with other people too, and he never hands out his info or brings complimentary chocolate raspberry cake.” Lily crossed her arms.

“Then I understand why you like to go there when we eat out. Whatever, I tip well.” Jambrea shrugged, still oblivious to her attractiveness. “Okay, though, you might have hit it with unavailable. Emotionally anyway. I guess I have a knack for finding exactly the wrong men. Ones who aren’t really up for grabs. There was someone once. I thought maybe he was my forever guy… It was dumb. There was never any chance. I just couldn’t shake off the way I felt for him. No one else compared, until Matt and Clint.”

“Who was he?” Lily sat, riveted to the devotion practically making her friend glow.

“John.”

“John who?” Not that she expected she knew the guy. More that Lily could sense there was more to the story. Curiosity mixed with professional interest. If she planned to set Jambi up, she had to know what her triggers were.

“I don’t know.” Jambi sniffed. “I never knew. He was a spy. In the military. I met him overseas. The day our hospital came under fire.”

“Isn’t that what you got your medal for?” How romantic. And tragically bold. Leave it to Jambrea to lust after the most impossible of lovers.

“Yep. They said it was for saving the nine soldiers, but it wasn’t. We all knew it was because of John. He breezed through the ceremony, then showed up at my place later. We…we made love. In the morning, he disappeared. And I never saw him or heard from him again.”

“Wait.” Lily had to have misunderstood. “When did you get that award again?”

“Nine years ago.” Her friend sank onto the chair once more. This time she buried her face in her hands. Splayed fingers allowed her to peek out at Lily’s gaping mouth.

“You’re telling me you hung on to a one-night stand for nearly a decade?” Lily regretted her unusually shrill tone when Jambi flinched. “Honey, you didn’t have a crush. You were
in love
. I’m so sorry he didn’t deserve it.”

“He told me it couldn’t ever happen again. It’s not his fault I didn’t listen. To be honest, though, there’s still a place in my heart for him.” Jambrea cleared her throat. “They say you never forget your first.”

Lily couldn’t help herself. She plopped to her haunches in front of her friend, clasping Jambrea’s knees in her hands. “Are you saying?”

“That I’m a one-hit wonder? Unfortunately so.” She laughed. “Or maybe a solo act. I’m an expert with my rabbit vibrator.”

“No shit.” Lily was starting to see why the trio was having so much trouble hurdling their obstacles. There were land mines in every direction.

“And after all this time, I finally find not one but two guys who can make me forget those old dreams, but I waited too long and now they don’t want me either. I feel like if I don’t do something to get over it quick, I’ll waste another decade of my life wondering what could have been. It’s hopeless. Why do I sabotage myself like that?”

“It’s not you, Jambi, it’s them. This time the line really is true.”

“So can you help me or not?” Quiet desperation radiated from her friend. If Lily didn’t facilitate a session for her, she’d likely put herself at risk. Maybe troll for a partner at an unmonitored site on the Internet or something. No way would the Mistress in her allow that to happen.

Guests at the Playground were screened. Their health records were current and they had to demonstrate skill in certain arenas before being allowed to practice riskier acts on other members. The club was as safe a place to experiment as could be reasonably expected.

“Yes. I can.” Lily smiled. “Why don’t we go grab some lunch and dessert from Mark? While we’re there, you can fill out a survey about what kinds of things you’d like to experience. We’ll get started on the required health forms and background check too. For you, I’ll push things through quickly. How’s Saturday?”

If they didn’t act fast, Jambrea might change her mind and ruin the plan Lily had begun to form in her mind.

“A lifetime away.” The taller woman giggled, finally showing some of her usual pep. “Perfect. Thank you.”

“That’s what friends are for.” They rose together. Lily enjoyed the hell out of their complimentary confection before returning to her duties, and her matchmaking plots.

Chapter Four

“I feel like we’ve been called to the principal’s office,” Matt grumbled as he and Clint took chairs side by side in Lily’s stronghold at the Playground.

“She didn’t sound real pleased with us, did she?” Clint winced.

“What gave it away? The ‘get your dumb asses down here, pronto’ part of her rant or the ice in her tone—cold enough to freeze my balls off over the phone?” The bigger cop stared at his partner as he crossed his arms. The way Clint eyed his bulging muscles made him shift in his seat. Part of him was pissed right back at Lily. She’d gone and screwed with their minds just when they’d sort of committed to doing something about this crazy thing with Jambrea.