Something Like Rain (Something Like... Book 8) (7 page)

“So what are you going to do?”

Kelly scowled at the ground, then looked up. “Fall in love with the most wonderful guy possible. If I’m going to risk my entire athletic career, he better be worth it.”

“Seriously.”

“I am serious!” Kelly said, sounding more determined than ever. “I refuse to change who I am to please people who are bigoted and small-minded. Why let them win? I’ve had to put up with this crap my entire life. I wish I could make you black, even just for one day, because that’s not something you can hide. I can’t mosey down the street and pretend to be white—everyone can see that I’m not. In fact, it’s the first thing most people notice. So I’m used to it. All I can do is wait for the world to get over it and start noticing the rest of me.”

William gawped. “Would it be cheesy if I started applauding?”

Kelly’s smile was subtle. “Normally, but considering that we’re alone out here, go for it.”

William clapped.

Kelly fanned himself as if flattered. Then he cocked his head. “So let’s hear you say it. The big scary ‘G’ word. You’re still tiptoeing around it.”

“Okay,” William said, feeling silly. “I’m gangsta!”

“No, you’re definitely not.” Kelly grew somber. “Come on. For real this time.”

William looked away, his eyes landing on the path they had arrived on. Then an idea occurred to him. “Okay, but only if you can beat me in another race. First one to the car!”

He took off, knowing he needed every advantage he could get, unfair or otherwise. He had a huge lead on Kelly. Enough that William worried he might not be playing along. Then, like last time, he felt the wind blow past him, Kelly seemingly carried along with it. William watched him pull ahead. The way his body moved was beautiful. He admired how shameless Kelly was, how he could be so emotional and yet somehow remain strong. If Kelly represented what it was like to be gay—well, William wouldn’t mind being more like him. Or being with him. He let his eyes move over Kelly’s body again, for once not trying to censor himself or quarantine his feelings. The tight ass, the sheen of sweat on his dark skin, the strong line of his jaw when Kelly looked back, eyes half-lidded in amusement… He was fucking hot, and fucking around with him would
be
hot. William would have laughed at the idea if he had any breath left. And if his blood wasn’t pounding to his heart, he was pretty sure where it would choose to flow. He still didn’t know what it meant to be in love, but it wasn’t difficult to imagine falling for someone like Kelly. Much easier than any girl he had met, so that settled it. William was gay, and for once, he felt pretty damn good about it.

* * * * *

Remaining resolute wasn’t as easy away from Kelly’s confident presence, but William tried. After dinner with his mother (his father was working late again), William went up to his room, walking around and straightening things while coming to grips with how his life was going to change. He’d need to be prepared for hateful comments at school, but the tradeoff was that he could finally do what everyone else did. Find someone, fall in love, and have sex. He wanted that, badly, and not just because he was always horny these days. He felt like there was an entire world he had never been initiated into. Being intimate with someone, sharing private thoughts in a dimly lit room, exchanging declarations of love, bodies close beneath the sheets—he hungered for that, and until now, it had never seemed possible.

There was a price to pay. He turned his attention to the vintage Coast Guard poster in his room, a sailor grinning and asking if William—or whomever—cared to join him. And he still wanted to. He didn’t feel passionate about college or any other course of action. He wanted to get out there, fly in helicopters, and put his swimming skills to good use by helping others.

William swallowed, tasting guilt. Was he really going to turn his back on people who needed him, just because he wanted to hook up with another guy?

“Jesus, you’re obsessed!” an unexpected voice declared.

William leapt into the air. When he landed on his feet again, he spun around, placing a hand on his chest when he saw it was just his brother. Not Spencer, with his chiseled chin and huge muscles. The comparatively scrawny guy in front of him had a permanent slouch and almost always wore a crooked smile and a day’s worth of stubble.

“Did you drool on the carpet?” Errol asked. He was named after some old movie star. William had been luckier than his brothers when it came to his name, although his family always called him— “Willy, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re in love with that sailor.”

“Shut up,” William responded. “I was just—”

“Dreaming of the Coast Guard, I know.” Errol’s grin widened. “Has your boner subsided yet?”

William shook his head and sighed. His middle brother lacked any sort of filter, which more often than not, ended up embarrassing those around him. Not Errol though. He seemed comfortable with any topic.

“You’ve got to broaden your horizons,” his brother said, flopping down on William’s bed and putting his hands behind his head. “There’s nothing wrong with the Coast Guard, but you don’t need to be such a conformist. Have a little fun before you ship out or whatever.”

“I’m not a conformist,” William said, eyeing the dirt on the bottom of his brother’s shoes. Shoes that were currently wiggling over the comforter he had recently laundered, but complaining would only prove his point. “What about you? Still working hard to keep Austin weird?”

“You know it. Like the new shirt?”

The screen-printed illustration was of a pinup girl sucking on a lollipop while squirming against a giant eyeball, one of her long nude legs rubbing the violet iris. “It’s freaky. And gross.”

“Thanks!” his brother said, sitting up to look down at it proudly. “I’ve been going around to concert venues lately, asking to set up a booth. Everyone keeps shooting me down, but I’ll find one eventually.”

Determination ran in the family. Spencer had his career in the Marines, something that required plenty of drive. Errol had barely managed to finish high school because he was so focused on his art. He did though, relocating downtown and sharing a ridiculously small apartment with some other artist types so he could chase his dream. William, of course, was still determined to make the Coast Guard work. Somehow.

“How old are you?” Errol asked appraisingly.

“Seventeen. And you forgot my birthday.”

“I’ll draw you something,” Errol said dismissively. “Anyway, you’re old enough that you’re probably smoking now. Know what I mean?”

William knew
exactly
what he meant. “I don’t smoke.”

Errol appeared confused. “Drink?”

“No! When I meet with a recruiter, I want to be able to look them in the eye and answer truthfully. Besides, they test for that stuff.”

Errol chuckled. “My baby brother, the last honest guy on the planet.”

William averted his eyes, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“Don’t tell me you’ve got a dark side?” Errol said. “What did you do? Take a free sample at the grocery store without asking permission first?”

“I killed a man.” William said this with grim seriousness. “It was late at night and I was driving… It was an accident! But I needed, I still need—” He choked in air. “I need help hiding the body.”

The amusement fled from Errol’s features. When William couldn’t maintain it any longer and cracked a smile, Errol flopped back on the bed, clutched at his sides, and cackled. “It’s always the quiet ones,” he said. “Come smoke with me. Sorry, come keep me company.”

“Fine.”

He followed his brother downstairs. They stopped to grab a couple of sodas from the refrigerator. Then they stepped out on the back patio. The neighborhood was old, the lighting minimal compared to modern subdivisions. William liked it since they could enjoy the natural dark of the night without having to suffer orange artificial light. And it meant not being seen by the neighbors, which was especially good now, since his brother had lit a joint.

William sidled away from him so he wouldn’t accidentally inhale anything. “What are you doing home? You’re not moving back in, are you?”

“Don’t worry,” Errol croaked before exhaling. “I don’t want my old room back. The guy I live with has a girl over tonight, so I’m steering clear. It’s his turn to use the bedroom.”

“There’s only one?”

“Yup!” Errol said. “You haven’t seen the new place, huh? It’s like Bert and Ernie in there, except platonic. Normally I would just hang out in the living room, but last time I made too much noise and my roommate kept thinking of me when he should have been trying harder to stay hard. Ha ha!”

William tried to remember if his brother’s roommate was handsome or not. “Still, I figured you’d have something better to do on a Friday night.”

“I could say the same to you. Where are all your ladies?”

William shrugged.

“Yeah, same here.” The ember of Errol’s joint glowed brighter. Then he exhaled. “The last one, she loved her cats more than me. Paige and her pussies. She was a good girl.”

He said this longingly, once again making William feel like he was missing out.

“There’s gotta be someone,” Errol continued. “You and Spence both got Dad’s muscles. Lucky bastards. That must turn heads at school.”

“I did meet someone recently,” William said carefully.

“Oh yeah?” Errol flicked the end of the joint, knocking the cherry loose to extinguish it. “So how come you’re not hanging out with them now?”

William hesitated, noticing that his brother had kept the pronoun neutral. Did he know? If so, maybe he was capable of subtlety after all. “I’m not sure if the other person likes me that way.”

“Then ask them out.”

“I’m not sure if
I
like them that way.”

Errol chuckled. “So? You won’t know if you really like each other until you try. A date is like a job interview, except you’ll both be in the hot seat. If it works out, awesome. You’re hired. So is the other person. That’s when the real work begins.” His brother smirked. “You’re going to love clocking in though. Trust me.”

“So I just ask?”

“If you don’t, it’s called stalking. I remember being freaked out by dating when I was your age, but man, the worst that can happen is you’ll get rejected. The idea of
that
freaked me out too. It’s not a big deal though. Most people let you down easy.”

The porch light switched on, and a second later, the glass door slid open. Their mother noticed Errol and became instantly joyful. “I thought I heard your voice! When did you get here?” Then she sniffed, eyes widening. “Errol!” she hissed. “The neighbors!”

“Relax. The old lady next door, Mrs. Higgins, she’s on medicinal.”

“She is not!” Kate chastised. “That’s not even legal here! Although I do sometimes smell something strange from her yard.”

“I’m tellin’ ya!” Errol said, stepping forward. “Give me a hug.”

“You stink,” Kate said, but she was already hugging him tightly.

William rolled his eyes, long since used to seeing his brother get away with murder. If he tried the same thing—

“You aren’t partaking, are you?” his mother said sternly, having similar thoughts.

“No,” Errol answered for him. “He’s hopelessly square, I swear.”

“I’m not square!” William grumbled.

“It’s okay, honey,” his mother said. “How’s that song go?”

“Mom,” he said, hoping to stop her.

“It’s cool to be square! I think that’s it…”

William grimaced, hoping nobody at school would ever discover how lame his Friday nights were.

“Where’s Dad?” Errol asked.

“Having drinks with coworkers.”

“You should have gone,” Errol said. “I could have babysat Willy.”

“You suck,” William replied.

“Does he still wet the bed?” his brother continued.

“I really hate you.”

Their mother shook her head. “You’re both silly. I’ll let you have your fun. Oh, and honey—” She was addressing Errol. “—there’s a batch of peanut butter raisin on the table. Just in case.” She silently mouthed the word munchies.

“You’re a baking machine! You should stop licking stamps at the post office and open up a bakery.”

“But darling, if I quit my job, who would pay your rent?”

“Burn!” William declared. “Nice one, Mom!”

“Thanks, honey. Have a good night. I love you boys.”

“We love you too,” they droned.

“She’s all right,” Errol said when they were alone again.

“She’s a different person when you’re around.”

“Only because she doesn’t want you to be messed up like I am.”

They returned inside, grabbed the promised cookies, and went back to William’s room. There they flipped through channels, settling on none for long and talking over most of the shows. When the hour grew late, Errol rose, stretched, and headed for the door.

“I’m gonna crash on the couch,” he said. He surveyed the room before leaving, attention settling on the Coast Guard poster again. “You’re not square,” he said, “because you don’t try to be anything other than who you are. That’s really cool. Most people your age aren’t like that. Good night, baby bro.”