Snowed In (4 page)

“You have me.”

You have me.

You have me.

The words felt like a golf ball stuck in Nate’s throat. He nodded slowly, lifting his head to claim Quinn's mouth again, running his hands through Quinn's hair, down his back, over his ribs, anywhere he could reach. Quinn moaned and his arms shook with the effort he put into controlling his every move.

Nate felt Quinn's dick again, but this time he didn’t stop at his entrance. Pushing in slowly, Quinn breached Nate’s tight muscle, making him gasp.

“Fuck!” Nate swore, bowing off the bed, his fingers digging into Quinn's ribs and his teeth sinking into Quinn's shoulder. “More.”

“Nate...”

“Quinn, fucking give me more.”

Quinn moved his hips, agonisingly slow, until Nate felt his balls against his ass.

It hurt. Nate was struggling to breathe and trying to find something to focus his thoughts on because it fucking hurt.

“Look at me, baby,” Quinn murmured, nuzzling Nate’s nose with his own. “Breathe. And try to relax.” His voice sounded strained and when Nate met his eyes he saw the naked need in them. Quinn's last thread of control snapped when Nate flexed his hips against him, claiming Quinn's mouth again. Nate’s hands drifted down Quinn's back, grabbing his ass cheeks and urging him to move.

When Quinn started to move, millions of stars exploded behind Nate’s eyes. The feeling of Quinn's hard cock inside him, stretching him, brushing his sensitive spot over and over again, made his body buzz like a live wire. He wrapped his legs around Quinn's waist and hung on for the ride.

Quinn thrust into him, harder and faster, seemingly losing his hold on his need. His rhythm became uneven, relentless, pushing in and out of Nate as if his life depended on it. Quinn's lips moved from Nate’s mouth to his jaw, his earlobe, his neck, kissing and biting, his beard scratching Nate’s skin, his labored breaths loud and urgent in the quiet room.

“Fuck, I’m close,” Nate managed to say, sneaking his hand between them. All it took was a few rough pulls on his cock and he was coming in long, creamy bursts.

For an endless moment the world stilled. Nate’s body was flying on a cloud of pleasure like nothing he’d ever felt before. His fingers continued to milk his cock until it became too sensitive to touch, and his mouth latched on Quinn's, needing his taste more than he needed to live.

Quinn's loud groan shook him out of his ecstasy and Nate held him as he came. His dick pulsed inside Nate, his lips rough and insistent on Nate’s. Quinn's fingers tightened in his hair as his whole body spasmed and shook on top of him.

Quinn pulled back a little, meeting Nate’s eyes. “I love you, too, Nate. So much.”

Nate’s heart melted as he heard the words he’d been dreaming of spoken out loud. He knew Quinn meant it, and yet there was something more he wanted to say, Nate could see it in his uncertain gaze.

Not now, though. This moment was too perfect to talk any more. Quinn must have felt the same way because he pulled away, disposed of the condom, and snuggled back under the covers with Nate, all without saying another word.

Nate curled around him, more content than he’d ever been in his life. They’d talk tomorrow. Or the day after. They had all the time in the world. He didn’t care what Quinn’d said in the car before. This night changed everything.

Nate was going to college in Chicago.

Chapter five

NATE WOKE up with the smell of coffee filling the room. He heard faint voices in the living room outside his door, but couldn’t understand what they were saying. Feeling strangely cold even though he was under a blanket in the middle of June, Nate turned around, hoping to snuggle back into Quinn's arms.

Quinn's side of the bed was empty. Nate furrowed his brows, instantly annoyed. They’d just spent the night together – their
first
night together – and Quinn couldn’t even stay till the morning?

The smell of coffee and the need to piss overruled his desire to sulk in bed until Quinn came back, so he pushed the covers away and sat up. A piece of paper on Quinn's pillow caught his attention. Smiling, he took it, expecting some kind of a funny note about breakfast or morning sex.

Nate,

I have to go.

Last night should’ve never happened. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to resist you and fucked everything up.

I meant everything I said, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t stay. I can’t be with you right now.

I hope one day you can forgive me.

Love,

Quinn

Nate’s hand shook as he read the note once, twice, ten times before he dropped it on the floor like it’d burned him. This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t possible.

The blood in Nate’s whole body froze and he started shaking. Standing up he felt momentarily dizzy, feeling pins and needles in his feet as he tried to find his shorts and put them on.

When he swung the bedroom door open he saw Brandon and Faith sitting at the table, clutching cups of coffee. They raised his eyes to meet his in unison and Nate knew.

They knew Quinn was gone.

“Where is he?” He asked, unnecessarily. He was gone and it had been a while since he’d left, judging by the guilty look in his brother’s eyes.

“He had to go, Nate,” Brandon said in what he surely assumed was a calming tone of voice.

“When?” Nate’s anger was boiling his insides and he started shaking once again. “When!” He yelled, his hands curling into fists.

“This morning. Early.” Brandon looked away. Nate saw Faith’s eyes fill with tears as she brought the coffee cup to her lips.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Because he told me not to.”

“And you listened to him? You let him go? Just like that, without an explanation?” Nate took a few steps closer to the table feeling as if his legs were going to give out any moment. Brandon didn’t reply, but the stubborn set of his jaw told Nate he knew more than he was letting on. “Did he tell you why he had to leave?” Nate’s voice had grown lower, his throat constricting around every word.

“No.”

“You’re fucking lying!” Nate took the last steps to his brother and towered over him, placing his hands on the table and the back of Brandon’s chair, boxing him in. Brandon simply lifted his eyes to his, not intimidated by Nate’s actions at all.

“He didn’t tell me why he had to go, just that he had to. I didn’t press him for details,” Brandon said in a calm, controlled voice.

Nate laughed without any humour. “So let me get this straight. Your best friend runs out in the middle of the night after having thoroughly fucked your brother and, if I may add, told him he fucking loved him, and you didn’t press him for details?” Nate could hear the cruelty in his tone but he didn't care. He’d never been this angry in his life, and if Quinn wasn’t here to face the mess he’d caused, Nate was going to use the next best thing – the traitor who’d chosen
him
over his own brother.

“I didn’t know any of that,” Brandon said, his eyes softening. He reached for Nate, but Nate whipped his hand away, taking a step back.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

Angry tears prickled behind his eyes, making him feel humiliated even more. Spinning around on his heel, he ignored Brandon's voice calling him back and stomped into to his room, slamming the door.

He didn’t make it to the bed. The anger, grief, and loss he’d felt overwhelmed him and Nate slumped to the floor, a ragged sob tearing out of his throat.

I hope one day you can forgive me...

Not a chance in fucking hell.

PART II

Chapter six

BRANDON PARKED his car in front of the apartment building and turned off the engine. Quinn sat next to him staring out the window.

“This is the worst idea I’ve ever had,” he murmured, nervous and excited at the same time.

“No. The worst idea you’ve ever had was leaving my brother two years ago,” Brandon countered.

“You know I had to,” Quinn said, resignation lacing his words. They’d had that conversation many times during the past two years, there was no point rehashing it now.
Now
, Quinn was about to see Nate for the first time in two years and as much as he knew Nate still hated his guts, he was excited.

“I know.” Brandon sighed and took the keys out of the ignition. “Come on. Time to face the music. And let me warn you – it’ll be loud.”

They stepped out of the car and Quinn grabbed his backpack from the trunk. He left the suitcase containing everything he owned in the car – he wouldn’t be needing it tonight. If all went to plan, they’d be on the road again by this time tomorrow.

They climbed the stairs to Brandon and Nate’s third floor apartment in silence. Quinn's heart was pounding, his hands were sweating, and all he could hear was blood rushing in his ears.

Stay calm...

The key to getting Nate back was staying calm. If he knew Nate at all, he’d be fucking pissed. Like, panther-caught-in-a-bear-trap pissed. Quinn deserved everything Nate would throw at him, he knew it. But he also knew that what they had was real, and even if a drop of that still remained somewhere in Nate’s heart, it was worth fighting for.

“Ready?” Brandon asked, taking his keys out. Quinn nodded, leaning against the wall to catch his breath.

Brandon unlocked the door and they walked in.

The apartment was quiet and dark, save for the faint sound of the shower running in the bathroom. Brandon busied himself with opening the curtains and tidying up, murmuring apologies about ‘the state of their apartment’ as he plumped up the couch cushions.

Quinn waved his concerns off – the place was really nice. A spacious living room opened into a kitchen area with a breakfast bar, tall stools tucked underneath. Windows were lining the walls, letting lots of natural light in. The furniture was minimal, but tasteful – cream couch and armchairs were arranged around a glass coffee table facing a big flat screen TV; a bookcase took up most of the opposite wall with a desk and an office chair sat next to it. The walls were white, but decorated with lots of colorful art.

“Do you want anything? Coffee? Juice?” Brandon asked, heading towards the kitchen behind the breakfast bar.

Quinn shook his head. He’d eaten and had coffee at the airport, and right now his stomach was too tied in knots to try and get anything else in there.

“Sit down, make yourself at home. I can hear he’s in the bathroom,” Brandon said from the kitchen. He opened and closed the fridge door, then joined Quinn on the couch with a can of soda. “He got home late last night. I didn’t see him, but fingers crossed he won’t be too hung over to deal with...” He cast a look at Quinn, trying to find the right word. “This,” he said, waving his hand in Quinn's direction.

The shower turned off and Quinn's heart lurched in his chest. From where he was sitting he had the bathroom door in full view. Any second now Nate would walk out, his skin flushed and wet from the shower. Quinn smiled at the image in his head.

He heard the water running again, this time in the sink. Something fell to the floor and Nate swore. And then...

And then there was another voice, speaking softly. Nate laughed.

Quinn felt sick. He turned towards Brandon whose mouth was gaping as he stared at the bathroom door.

“I didn’t know he’d have... company,” Brandon said.

Why wouldn’t he have company? It was Sunday morning, Nate was a hot, single guy; why wouldn't he go out on a Saturday evening and pick someone up?

Brandon had assured Quinn that Nate wasn’t dating anyone. But whatever was going on in the bathroom probably wouldn’t be called dating, anyway.

The door swung open startling Quinn out of his grim thoughts. Nate walked out just as Quinn had imagined him a few moments ago – his skin was wet and slightly red from the hot water; his hair was dripping water and slicked back away from his face; a white towel was wrapped low around his waist. He was smiling, his green eyes sparkling as they met Quinn's.

The moment he realized who was sitting on his couch, Nate blanched, staggering a step back right into the arms of his companion.

“Whoa, you OK, babe?” The guy said, circling an arm around Nate’s naked waist. His skin was pasty white against Nate’s tanned skin.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Nate said, his voice gruff. His eyes, sparkling with carefree joy just a moment ago, hardened to cold, cruel emeralds. “Thought I saw someone I knew. Turned out I was wrong.”

The guy peered above Nate’s shoulder, his arm still curled around Nate’s waist protectively. Quinn's stare zeroed in on the fingers fanned out on Nate’s stomach, and primal jealousy erupted strong and hot in his gut.

“Nate,” Brandon said, standing up and stepping in front of Quinn, shielding him from view. “Wanna get dressed and come out here? We need to talk.”

Nate’s lips curved into a cruel smile. “Nah. I’m good.” He entwined his fingers with the ones on his stomach, turned his head around and gave the guy a sweet, lingering kiss.

“Nate...” There was a warning in Brandon’s voice, but Nate didn’t pay him any heed. He dragged the guy into his bedroom and slammed the door behind them.

“Fucking immature asshole,” Brandon muttered as he stalked into the direction of Nate’s bedroom. He walked in without knocking, completely ignoring the shouting that came from inside.

Quinn dropped his face into his hands. Confused, hurt, and utterly miserable, he contemplated getting up, going out the door and never coming back. The past should stay buried, right? There was nothing keeping him in Chicago anymore. He’d graduated, Kai was gone... The world was his oyster. He could do anything he wanted, go anywhere he liked.

And yet... The only place he wanted to be was where Nate was.

Quinn could hear shouting coming from the bedroom, but his head was pounding and he couldn’t focus enough to get exactly what was said. He could guess that Brandon was ripping into his brother and, the stubborn hothead Nate was. he wasn’t budging an inch.

That could go for a while.

Surprisingly, Brandon stormed out of the room a moment later, his frown making him seem much older than his twenty four years.

“He’ll be right out,” he declared, storming into the kitchen and opening the fridge with more force than necessary, rattling the contents inside.

Quinn took a deep breath and tried to stomp down on the jealousy that was blinding him and making him forget his goal. He’d come here to get Nate back and prove to him that he was never leaving again. The blond twink currently locked in the bedroom with Nate didn’t change that one bit.

The bedroom door swung open and Nate walked out, hand in hand with his hook-up. They were both dressed, thank god. Nate’s hair was still damp, tucked behind his ears. It was a bit longer than Quinn remembered and he liked it. Nate’s wild curls had always fascinated him and he loved running his hands through the soft strands.

Nate didn’t look at him. Leading the guy to the breakfast bar, Nate let go of his hand, kissed him again and headed for the coffee machine. The guy looked a bit stunned as he scanned the room, his blue eyes curious when they landed on Quinn.

Brandon hissed something at Nate in the kitchen, but Nate ignored him. He pressed the button on the coffee maker, leaned against the counter, and waited for the coffee to brew.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Nate said, loud enough for Quinn to hear.

“Can we talk about this in private?” Brandon said jerking his chin towards the blond twink currently sitting on one of the bar stools, thrumming his fingers on the counter and driving Quinn crazy.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I ask you a question, you answer it, and we all move on with our lives.” The coffee filled the pot and Nate turned the machine off. He took two mugs from the cupboard above his head and filled them. When Brandon didn’t reply he said, “Forget it. I don't even care. I was just trying to be polite.”

Quinn snorted. Loudly. God, how much he wanted that man. He wanted to gather him in his arms and kiss that smart mouth until Nate couldn’t catch his breath to come up with a sarcastic response.

“Is this amusing to you?” Nate asked, waving his hand around. His eyes narrowed to slits and he folded his arms.

“No,” Quinn said, biting his lip against a smile.

“What do you want?” Nate asked.

You.

Quinn held Nate’s accusing gaze without flinching. “To talk to you.”

“Oh, really?” Nate’s eyebrows shot up, his eyes glowing with anger. “See, I’m asking because I thought you’d lost the ability to talk. Or text. Or write emails.”

Quinn didn’t reply. Nate was right – he had been ignoring every call, text, and email Nate’d sent him during the last two years. He’d saved them all, though. And when things had been exceptionally bad he’d pull Nate’s words on his phone and read them. Over and over again. They weren’t nice words, but they were Nate’s.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Quinn?” Nate asked sharply when Quinn failed to say anything.

He stepped closer, his nostrils flaring as he curled his lips in a snarl. Quinn glanced at Brandon who was leaning back on the kitchen counter, but was obviously staying out of this, and then at the blond guy watching the exchange with wide eyes.

“I’m coming with you. To Denver,” Quinn said.

Nate’s mouth gaped open in shock. He whirled around to face his brother. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Bran?”

“We have space in the car, Nate. And he needs a ride.” Brandon shrugged as if it was no big deal.

Nate’s shoulders were shaking with rage when he turned back to Quinn and spoke again.

“How did you get here?”

“I flew in.”

“You flew in from Chicago to LA and now you need a ride from LA to Denver.” Nate said, not really a question. Quinn nodded.

Nate closed his eyes, licked his lips and visibly tried to get a hold on his temper. Quinn hated he was the reason Nate was so angry, so damn unhappy right now, but there was no other way. He was ready to take anything Nate would throw at him until the resentment he hung on to was gone.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve, but I’ve got news for you – you made your choice when you left me in the cabin two years ago.” Nate’s voice was calmer, but just as furious. “There’s nothing you can do to take that back.”

“I’m not trying to take it back. I’m trying to atone for it,” Quinn said quietly, standing up from the couch. He ached to touch Nate, absorb some of the pain he was feeling, some of the pain he had caused him.

Nate took a step back when Quinn stood up. “Don’t even try to come near me.” Quinn stopped, but didn’t back away. Nate turned to Brandon again. “I can’t believe you’re on his side again.”

“Nate, there’s no sides here, I’m just trying to...”

“I’m not going,” Nate said, interrupting him.

“What?” Brandon exclaimed, finally leaving his spot against the counter and moving towards his brother.

“I’m not going on a three day road trip – which by the way was supposed to be our last road trip, just the two of us before the baby is born – with him!” Nate jabbed a finger in Quinn's direction. “And the fact that you thought I would is insulting. The only way I’m getting in that car with you two is gagged and tied up in the trunk.”

Quinn bit the inside of his cheek against a smile. He wasn’t above doing that if it meant getting him in the car. Unfortunately, Nate chose that moment to turn around. His face nearly crumpled when he saw how hard Quinn was trying not to smile.

“I’m glad I’m still amusing you,” he said, taking the few steps between them until he stood face to face with Quinn. His eyes were glistening with moisture and Quinn's first instinct was to cup his cheek.

Nate smacked his hand away before it got anywhere near him. “Maybe you should have come peel me off the floor after you fucked me and left me like I was a fucking trick. I bet that would have been so much fun for you.” His voice was a low growl, his eyes barely containing the ferocious rage storming inside them. Brandon walked closer to them, probably concerned that Nate was going to punch Quinn.

Nate turned his head to look at his brother. “I’m going to book a flight. You two have fun on your trip.”

Brandon sighed. “Do you know how much it would cost to book a last minute flight four days before Christmas? If you even manage to find one that’s not fully booked.”

“I don’t care.” His voice was flat, as if all the anger had leaked out of him, leaving a trail of darkness and resentment behind.

Nate didn't meet Quinn's eyes as he stormed past him, grabbed his keys and wallet from the side table, and walked out the door.