Shield My Heart (Heaven Hill Book 9) (10 page)

‡
Chapter Eleven

D
alton was vibrating with fury as he pulled up to the trailer on the lake. The dwelling had seen much better days, but it still provided him with shelter whenever he needed it. It had been the only home he’d known as a young kid, and it was one of the most important places in his memory bank. As they always did, memories assaulted him of that night he and Mandy had sealed the deal in this trailer. She’d given herself over to him and told him he was good enough for her.

What a crock of shit those words had ended up being. He’d done the one thing he’d promised himself he’d never do. He disappointed her, not been the man she needed, and he had a suspicion that before this was said and done, he’d never get the chance to be that man again. He didn’t deserve the chance. He knew that. There was no telling what he’d have to do to help the man who’d helped him as a kid. He knew his days were numbered, expected he’d go down in a blaze of glory, and he was okay with that.

Taking the steps two at a time, he burst through the door. When he spotted his uncle sitting there counting a wad of cash, he picked the older man up by his shirt and threw him against the wall.

“Where in the fuck have you been? We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“Calm down.” Samuel’s voice was thin as Dalton tried not to crush his windpipe.

Pulling himself back from the anger was impossible. He was no longer the lanky boy who had worked hard to build his muscles. He was lean now, deceptively powerful, and had a temper that could back up the words he chose to speak. “Don’t tell me to calm down. I found out how much you owe Calvert. What the hell were you thinkin’?”

“How to get myself out of this situation, boy. What do you think? Besides, I don’t have to answer to you.”

“Boy?” Dalton tightened his grip. “I haven’t been a boy for a very long time, and if you think Calvert’s gonna let you
get out of the situation,
you’ve got another thing coming.”

Deacon grabbed his brother around the shoulders and pulled him off their uncle. Always the voice of reason, he spoke into his ear. “Let him talk. Maybe he has a solution we haven’t thought of.”

“Highly unlikely.” They’d been living like this their whole lives, really only having themselves to count on.

“I won two grand last night in a poker game. Brought my total up to eighteen that I’ve come up with,” Samuel defended himself.

“Great plan.” Dalton put his hands on his hips. “You still owe over a hundred thousand more. Where the hell do you plan on coming up with the rest, and where the hell do you plan on hiding out until you do? Don’t count on Heaven Hill to protect you—I’ve taken a leave of absence.”

“What?” Samuel questioned, his weathered face frowning. “Why?”

For the first time Dalton realized how beaten Samuel looked. There was a slouch to his shoulders, a weariness in the lines on his face, and his eyes were dim. They held none of the life they used to. This was worrying him as much as it worried them, but Dalton had to make him see how problematic his addiction was. “Because this isn’t just about you and what you owe. I realize you’ve spent most of your life thinking about us and doing what you thought was right for us.” He pointed to himself and Deacon. “And I have to ask why the fuck you stopped now. I’ve got stuff going on, things people can use against not only you, but me.”

Both Samuel and Deacon stared at him, question in both their eyes. “Maybe it’s time you be honest with whatever it is you’re keeping from us.” Deacon shot his brother a look, one indicating he should be more forthcoming with what was going on in his life.

There weren’t many men Dalton backed down from, but Deacon was one of them. If anyone deserved to know, it was these two, and to be completely honest, it would be nice to tell people. To share what was going on in his life and to have others comment on it. Keeping it to himself really sucked.

“Mandy’s pregnant.”

There was complete silence in the room as he let that sink in. He let them realize he had other people to worry about, someone else to call family. There were people counting on him, and he knew he was gonna let them all down. It wasn’t a good feeling.

“Obviously Drew and Liam don’t know, otherwise you’d be wearing your balls for earrings,” Deacon joked.

Dalton wasn’t feeling the humor. “Right now, only a few people do. But do you see what I’m saying to you? If Calvert wants to get to you, he can use me, and in using me, he can get to Mandy. I have a lot to lose if shit goes south. I have a
family
to lose.”

He didn’t add that he was probably already going to lose it. That was no one’s business but his.

“Dalt.” His uncle used the nickname he’d used when the boys first came to live with him. “I didn’t do this to hurt you, and I obviously didn’t think it through. It was never my intention to get this deep or to owe this much. Gamblin’ is something I like.”

“It’s an addiction,” Dalton accused. “One you can’t afford, and now you’re in trouble. I’ve always been willing to overlook it.” He turned so he wouldn’t have to look in his uncle’s eyes. If he had to, he might not get the rest of this out. “You took us in when no one else wanted us. Up until the time we came to live with you, we didn’t even know what sitting down at the dinner table meant. You’ve more or less been our mom and dad for the better part of our lives. I’ve always been willing to look past your faults.” He stopped and took a breath, turning back around to face him. “But I have two people countin’ on me right now, and while I’m not perfect, I have to put them first. No matter what.”

Samuel walked over, putting his hands on Dalton’s shoulders. “Now’s the time for you to be the man your daddy couldn’t be. You worry about your family and you let me take care of me.”

That wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear at all. “No, don’t you understand?” He shook his head. “For everything you’ve done for us, you’re gonna be this kid’s grandparent—I can’t let you handle Calvert on your own. I refuse to sit back and watch him hurt you. That’s why I took a leave of absence. We’re gonna fix this shit, and then we’re gonna be a family. We’re going to have the things we never did.”

Dalton could tell Samuel didn’t believe him; he didn’t believe it would be that easy. Truthfully, neither did he, but he wouldn’t let his uncle face this himself. They were family, and family faced shit together.

If there was one thing the Heaven Hill MC had taught him, it was that.

‡
Chapter Twelve

M
andy laughed, bringing her arms around her stomach. “What did you tell him?” she asked Tatum, still giggling. Her younger sister was something else. She’d gotten the best parts of them all; feisty, spicy, head-strong, and fiercely loyal. Mandy noticed for one of the first times how grown-up she looked. Gone was the shoulder-length bob cut she’d worn for years. In its place was longer hair, worn curled, as silky looking as anything that could be done in a salon. The makeup was darker now too, more professionally done, in colors that suited her. Looking at her fingernails, Mandy also noticed Tatum sported a manicure—something she wouldn’t have been caught dead having a few years ago. It wouldn’t be long until Tatum would be ready to leave the nest and maybe bring home a man of her own.

Mandy could remember being her age and being so in love with Dalton she couldn’t see straight. Not much had changed. Except now that love was twisted up in anger, and she hoped at some point she could have that love again, the way it had been when they were younger.

She shrugged, pursing her lips in a smile that would one day bring a man to his knees. Not just any man though. He’d have to be a damn good man, and he’d have to respect Tatum and the rest of the family. “That both my dad and brother have done jail time, and if he ever wanted to try to lay another girl he should probably get the fuck away from me.”

Denise sighed, trying to be patient with her youngest. She was doing her best, but she looked up to the men in the clubhouse so much. “Language, Tatum. Just because you’re a teenager doesn’t mean you can talk like that dad and brother you love so much.”

“Seriously, Mom? I’m not giving it up in the bed of a truck to some guy who thinks kissing me for five minutes is foreplay.”

“Oh Jesus.” Mandy laughed again. “You know too much about this stuff to be seventeen. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, please keep it. Don’t let someone force you into doing something you aren’t sure you want to because they want you to.”

Mandy felt like she knew her sister wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want to, but she also wanted her to know it was okay not to.

“Trust me, Mandy. I know what I want, and who I want.” She winked, a smirk on the flawless face of hers.

“For the love of God,” Denise pleaded from where she sat. “Please don’t let your dad hear you talking like this. It’s bad enough I have to hear it, but I at least know when you’re joking. He doesn’t. Don’t give him a heart attack.”

Tatum crossed her heart. “I promise.” She stood up and pulled her hair on top of her head. “Besides there’s nobody at school I like. I kinda like older men.”

And with that, she was gone.

“What the hell did she mean by that?” Mandy questioned as she watched her sister’s retreating back.

Denise was pensive. “I’m not sure, but I have feeling it has to do with Remy. I’m keepin’ my mouth shut though. If there’s one thing you and your brother taught me, it was I have no say. You’re gonna do what you want to do, and she’s worse than the both of you combined. I’m holding on until she turns eighteen because I know as soon as that happens, she’s spreading those wings.”

Mandy thought the same thing about her sister. She’d been hopelessly spoiled by all of them. Tatum truly thought she could do anything she put her mind to. It wasn’t a bad thing, but in being spoiled, she’d never really known disappointment. Again, she wondered what would happen if she had a daughter.

“Mom, how did you feel when you found out you were pregnant with me and Drew?”

Of any question Mandy could have asked her, this was the most surprising. She’d never really hidden much from any of her kids, and she didn’t plan on doing so now. Collecting her thoughts for a minute, she bluntly gave her daughter the truth.