Sapphire (3 page)

They got up out of their seats and began chanting, ‘Go Sapphire! Go Sapphire!’ and pretended to be cheerleaders – Jazz even performed a mini-routine – waving her hands in the air, high-kicking and then wiggling her bum for good measure. Sapphire could kill them for this! She was all set to ignore them but Jay had slowed down.

‘Friends of yours?’ he asked, jogging on the spot.

Sapphire nodded and managed to gasp out ‘Jazz, Sam’ as she pointed out her friends.’ She stopped running but
Jay wasn’t having that. ‘Keep moving, Sapphire, you have to keep your heart rate going.’

He turned to her friends and smiled his cute, sexy, Diet Coke break ad smile. Sapphire could tell her friends were impressed by his good looks – in fact, Jazz’s tongue was practically on the floor. It would serve her right if someone trod on it. ‘I’m Jay, good to meet you.’

‘Lovely to meet you,’ Sam replied, Jazz was too busy winding in her tongue. ‘We’ve wanted to meet you for ages,’ Sam looked meaningfully at Sapphire, who gave her the finger. ‘What are you doing after the run?’

‘I’m cooking dinner,’ Jay cut his eyes to Sapphire, ‘I can cook for your friends as well.’

‘Oh, go on then!’ Sapphire muttered. She’d agree to anything if it meant she could get home and stop the torture of the run but she didn’t like anyone else planning her evening. So what if she was a bit of a control freak? ‘I’ll see you back at the flat,’ she said and sprinted off in burst of energy.

Hah, she’d show them that she could run. Maybe she’d even work up to the half marathon or even the marathon, that would wipe the amused expressions from their faces – even more so when she made them sponsor her for shitloads of money. But the fantasy was short-lived as a hundred metres later she was forced to slow down to a jog, crippled with stitch.

Back at the flat she took a long shower and then felt surprisingly perky, energised by the run, the news about Georgia’s hen weekend and the thought of all that money and publicity. She wandered into the kitchen where Jay was already hard at work, chopping up vegetables for a stir-fry. ‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.

‘Good,’ she replied, opening the fridge and reaching for a bottle of wine. ‘What?’ she demanded, seeing the expression on Jay’s face. ‘Don’t I deserve it?’

‘Well, you didn’t exactly push yourself did you? I reckon you could have gone much faster.’

‘Cheeky bastard!’ she exclaimed, swiping a punch at his arm.

But he was too quick for her and pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Perhaps those endorphins were finally kicking in but Sapphire now had something other than dinner on her mind. She checked the time, ‘Fancy coming into the bedroom, trainer boy?’

‘It’ll have to be quick. I don’t want my Thai sauce to spoil.’

‘Nothing wrong with a quickie so long as you push all the right buttons.’

‘Don’t I always do that?’ Jay demanded.

‘Every time,’ Sapphire replied ten minutes later, after all her buttons had been pushed, very satisfactorily.

She was still in a post-sex/endorphin-rush glow when her friends turned up, which was just as well because it felt strange seeing them sit round her dining table with Jay. Since her divorce Sapphire had avoided situations where her lovers and friends met – frankly because she never chose the men in her life for their conversational skills and she liked things to be on her terms. Jazz and Sam clearly couldn’t believe their luck at finally spending time with Jay. Jazz kept catching Sapphire’s eye when Jay wasn’t looking and mouthing ‘He’s so fit!’ Like, I know that, Jazz! Sapphire felt like replying. Why else would I be with him?

‘Jay, that was well good!’ Sam exclaimed. ‘Too good in fact,’ she added ruefully, looking down at her empty plate. She had polished off the king prawn stir-fry very rapidly. ‘What about my diet?’

‘It’s fine to eat like that once a day,’ Jay replied, ‘and it was all healthy stuff, I promise. If you want to lose weight you should be aiming to eat 1,500 calories a day, and make sure you have a good mix of protein and fresh fruit
and vegetables. And make sure you eat fewer carbs the later it gets in the day.’

‘Who do you work for, Weight Watchers?’ Sapphire put in.

‘I’m a personal trainer, remember? And many of my clients want to lose weight, so I advise them about nutrition. It was one of the things I studied at college.’

That put Sapphire in her place, she knew very little about what Jay actually did all day.

‘I bet you’re very popular with your lady clients aren’t you?’ Sapphire went on. She didn’t know why but suddenly she felt like needling Jay. It had been a great evening, he’d made a fantastic meal for her friends, he was lovely, easy-going, but just too bloody perfect. ‘I bet you get some women coming on to you.’

Jazz and Sam frowned at her. Sapphire ignored them.

‘Ever shagged one of them?’ She had the devil inside her now.

Jay shook his head, ‘I’d get sacked if I did. It would be completely unprofessional.’

Sapphire laughed dismissively. ‘God, Jay, you sound so up yourself! I bet when some fit bird is thrusting her Lycra-clad arse inches away from your face you think of it. I bet you get a stiffie sometimes.’

Sam came to Jay’s rescue, ‘Ignore her, Jay. She’s got a filthy mind and she’s probably only going on because she’s jealous.’

Sam’s interjection did nothing to improve Sapphire’s mood and she could feel hot, irrational anger building up in her.

‘Do me a fucking favour! Do I get jealous?’ Sapphire exploded.

‘Sapphire’s got nothing to be jealous of,’ Jay replied calmly, ‘I’d never cheat.’

‘Where have I heard that one before?’ Sapphire said bitterly.

Then suddenly she realised why she felt so on edge with Jay: the next day would have been her fifth wedding anniversary. She’d successfully blocked it out of her mind but somehow the date had wormed its way through all her defences. A horribly familiar feeling of hurt and anger coursed through her. She got up abruptly from the table and started clearing the plates away, then stomped into the kitchen and began loading the dishwasher.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ Jay had followed her in.

She nodded and continued shoving cutlery into the dishwasher.

‘I thought you said I pushed all your buttons?’

‘I’m fine, Jay, why don’t you see if Jazz and Sam want coffee?’

‘I’ve made banoffee pie as well, I’ll serve it up and bring in coffee, you go and talk to your friends.’

‘Well, aren’t you just too perfect to be true?’ Sapphire replied sarcastically.

Jay frowned. ‘I just want your friends to have a nice evening, Sapphire, what’s the problem?’

‘Nothing, sorry. Thanks for dinner,’ she said abruptly and made to go out of the kitchen.

Jay caught her arm. ‘Sapphire, have I done something to piss you off?’

‘No, Jay, I told you I’m fine.’

He let go of her, ‘If you say so.’ But he clearly didn’t believe her.

Back at the table her friends weren’t going to let her get away with her treatment of Jay. ‘Why have you got the hump?’ Sam demanded, as Sapphire sat down and poured herself an extra large glass of Pinot Grigio.

‘He’s lovely, why are you giving him a hard time?’ Jazz backed her up.

‘He’s the nicest guy you’ve ever been out with.’ Sam continued.

The two of them were worrying away at her like a pair of terriers. Why couldn’t they just drop it?

‘Will you both just zip it!’ she exclaimed.

Jazz glared back at her. ‘I’m not at work now, you know. You can’t boss me around. I’m off the fucking clock!’

Sapphire lifted her glass, ‘Cheers, here’s to what would have been my fifth wedding anniversary tomorrow. How do you think my ex-husband is celebrating?’

Both Jazz and Sam looked appalled, ‘Shit Sapphire, I completely forgot,’ said Sam.

‘So had I, until just back then at dinner.’ Sapphire sighed. ‘I didn’t mean to be such a bitch, it’s just whenever I think about Alfie and what he did it makes me feel so angry.’

‘Have you ever considered therapy?’ Jazz suggested.

Sapphire let out a snort of laughter, ‘That is so not me!’

‘I know, Sapphire, but it might help. You’re good at putting on a front that you’re hard and you don’t need anyone. But everyone needs someone.’ Sam put her hand on Sapphire’s arm.

‘Oh my God, are we going to have a group hug?’ Sapphire joked. She was saved from any more comments from her well-meaning but seriously annoying friends by Jay walking in with dessert and coffee.

While Jazz, Sam and Jay chatted about who they were backing on
The X Factor
, Sapphire was silent, lost in thought. She was remembering just how shocking it had been to discover Alfie had been unfaithful – and not only that – in their marriage bed. It was like he really wanted to rub her nose in it. Alfie had pleaded with Sapphire to forgive him, that it hadn’t meant anything, then tried to shift the blame on Brooke, his lover, that it was she who had pursued him, that it would never happen again. For a short time Sapphire had wavered, wondered whether she should try and forgive him, after all lots of other
women had in her situation. But then came the bombshell: Brooke was pregnant and Sapphire was no longer in a forgiving mood. Once Alfie realised that she wasn’t going to forgive and forget he turned nasty, told her it was her fault, that she was emotionally cold, incapable of loving anybody. Cruel, hurtful words that had burned deep into Sapphire’s mind.

‘So, who do you want to win, Sapphire?’ Jay tried to pull her back into the conversation.

‘God, no idea,’ and then because she knew she had to put on an act she forced herself to joke. ‘The young fit one of course.’

That night in bed, Jay went to put his arm round her. ‘You know it was true what I said, I’d never cheat on you,’ he told her, holding her tight.

Instinctively Sapphire found herself moving away, ‘Sorry babe, I’m too hot,’ she lied, seeking out the furthest corner of the bed.

Maybe Alfie was right and she was emotionally cold and incapable of loving anyone.

SAPPHIRE FELT ON
edge the following day and her mood was not improved by knowing she had to go round to her mum’s for dinner that night. All she really wanted was to go out with Jazz and Sam and drown her bitter memories in vodka, but she knew her mum would guilt trip her big time if she didn’t go. It always felt like something of a duty call as she had never been that close to her mum. Her dad was the one she had always had the connection with but he had died suddenly of a heart attack when Sapphire was fifteen.

Sapphire hadn’t only had to cope with her grief but it turned out that her dad was heavily in debt, though he appeared to be successful, providing his family with the big house and pool and two foreign holidays a year. Deep down Sapphire blamed her mum for the debt – even as a child she had seen how her mum always wanted expensive things and had nagged her husband until she got them. After his death the luxurious lifestyle was over, the big house had to be sold and there was just enough money for Sapphire’s mum to buy a small terraced house in Hove. There had also been a small amount of money in trust for Sapphire, which she used to start her business. Yet it was a comedown after the lifestyle they had been used to. For years she was furious with her dad for dying and leaving her alone with her mum. But it
wasn’t really to do with the change in their standard of living, it was to do with how much she missed him.

Sapphire nipped into an off-licence for a bottle of wine, on her way to her mum’s; she was definitely going to need something to take the edge off the day. Although her mum’s house was small it was in a lovely area, near a park, and it was actually not a bad location, just a bit dull, but her mum had never got over losing the big house and was always moaning.

Sapphire rang the doorbell and looked at her watch. Half six, with any luck she could be out of there by ten.

Christine, her mum, opened the door. She was only fifty, the same age as Madonna as Sapphire was forever telling her, but she behaved like someone far older. She used to be so glamorous and proud of her appearance when Sapphire’s dad was alive, but she truly had let it all go. It was as if she’d given up when he died. Sapphire despaired of her mother’s dress sense. She hid a perfectly good figure under shapeless jumpers and jeans and rarely wore make-up. She scraped her long black hair, which was now streaked with grey, into an unflattering ponytail. Sapphire thought Gok Wan would probably love to get his hands on Christine and her wangers. She’d certainly lost her va va voom these days. And she could have looked so good! She had the same striking dark blue eyes as Sapphire, but they looked so sad. She also smoked heavily, something else that drove Sapphire mad. But appearance aside, the thing Sapphire really found hard to deal with was the ‘poor me’, victim quality of her mum.

‘I was expecting you half an hour ago.’ Her mum’s first words to her. Not hi, not how are you?

‘I just got held up at work, Mum, you know what it’s like.’

Actually, Christine had no idea as she didn’t work.
Sapphire trailed after her mum into the living room. Christine had insisted on keeping most of the old furniture from the other house – which was all too big and grand for the terrace – and as a result what could have been a pretty house felt cluttered and claustrophobic to Sapphire; she was strictly into the minimalist look herself. She was enveloped by the familiar feeling of sadness at the state of her mum’s life as she sat back on the sofa and stared dispiritedly round the room. She looked at the photographs on the mantelpiece – the one of her mum and dad on their wedding day, and the one of her and her dad taken when she was ten. The pair of them were grinning away at the camera with smiles so wide it almost hurt to look at them. Then her gaze moved to the other side of the room.

‘I didn’t know you had a laptop,’ she exclaimed noticing a computer on the dining table. My God, something different in her mum’s life at last.

‘I’ve been doing a course at the college, I told you.’ Christine sounded hurt that her daughter hadn’t remembered.

Shit, had she? So much of what her mum said passed her by because usually she was moaning about something or other. ‘Oh yeah, I remember. It’s great you’re doing it, mum, about time you caught up.’