Risk (Gentry Boys #2) (6 page)

“Was it a good night?”  She wasn’t asking in a lewd way.  She sounded merely curious. 

I leaned my head against the warm glass of the patio door.  “It was,” I admitted.  “It was an amazing night.” 

“Truly,” Saylor said gently.  “You do realize what Creed is like, right?  He’s a lot more, well, impenetrable than Cord.  I don’t know if he has it in him to have anything regular with anyone.” 

Regular. 

What did that mean anyway?  When my sisters and I were children we used the word ‘regular’ to describe most of the people around us.  If a classmate waved goodbye to someone in a real house every morning and had a Christmas tree in December they were part of a life we’d only ever seen from the outside.  We used the word as an insult.  We’d say things like “He’s all
regular
and shit,” as we screamed with laughter but each one of us knew it would have been nice to see something of that life for ourselves. 

Saylor didn’t need to tell me that Creed wasn’t the ‘regular’ type.  Even if she’d never mentioned the abusive past suffered by the Gentry boys I would have been able to tell.   Those three had also spent their entire lives on the outside. 

“Look, I get it,” I told her.  “I’m not expecting him to show up here with a dozen roses or anything.”

“Not that I’m fishing for details, but did you rip his shirt off him last night?”

I glanced at the couch where Dolly was still lounging on the discarded shirt in question.

“No,” I told her.  “Maybe he just likes the world to see as much of him as possible.” 

Saylor gave a sarcastic laugh.  “No way.  I can tell you in all honesty that Creedence doesn’t like the world to see him at all.”

I sighed.  “I wish you were going to be there at work today.”   It was true.  The hours always passed more quickly when there was Saylor to joke around with.

“I can come by later,” she promised.  “We’ll sneak out to Whataburger when Ed gives you a break.” 

“I’d like that.  I’d sick to death of chicken.” 

When I hung up with Saylor a few minutes later I felt slightly better.  She hadn’t mentioned Creed again and I was grateful.  There probably wasn’t anything left to say about the matter.  It was done. 

Dolly let out a small mew of objection when I pulled Creed’s shirt out from underneath her.  I shook the cat hair off and folded it neatly.  I supposed I could give it to Saylor to return to him but then she’d look at me awkwardly and remember why I had it in the first place. 

Hugging the shirt to my chest, I considered the inevitability of running into Creed Gentry.  He lived nearby.  He often ate at Cluck This.  He was the brother of my friend’s boyfriend.  It would have been easier to deal with if he was just some random guy I had little chance of encountering again.  But I would see him around.  I knew it.  I wondered if he would bother to say hello and I wondered how long it would take for the memory of last night to fade so that I could stop wanting him so much. 

When I returned to my bedroom I set Creed’s shirt on top of my dresser.  If he needed it back he knew where to find it. 

CREED

It had been a full two months since the awful night Chase was in the hospital and I had risked myself so that Cord wouldn’t have to take the burden.  Gabe Hernandez was nothing but sleaze and he knew he had us over a barrel.  He would give us the names of the cowards who had attacked our brother.  The price was a strong body in the ring.  I knew exactly what it meant.  Gabe wasn’t talking about the kind of fights we were used to; pocket change matches in dirty venues.  Those fighters were amateurs and all you needed to do to win was push the other guy down. 

But I’d always heard of another game in town.  It was one where the payouts were huge and the man who was knocked over sometimes didn’t get up again.  That was what Gabe was itching to dive into. 

Cord had been on the verge of offering himself up.  I saw it in his face.  Cordero might have been the best of the three of us.  He’d gone to the mat time and again. Cord was a natural fighter.  It was tough to imagine that anything could take him down.  But I’d seen him grab for the chance at something better when he fell for Saylor.  I knew it would destroy him to lose her.

So I spoke up first because I had nothing to lose. 

It wouldn’t be the first time a Gentry had chosen violence.  Back home that was what defined our people; violence, poverty, cruelty.  It was some rotten shit to be raised in. 

Gabe had assured me that he would be in touch when he got something arranged.  Gabe was a man who expected that promises to him would be kept.  The boys wanted to know why I couldn’t just back away with a shrug.  But since I’d done most of the setup deals I knew a few things Cord and Chase didn’t.  Namely, I knew Gabe Hernandez had the power to enforce promises if necessary.

For two months I’d been rather single minded in focus.  I’d worked out religiously and beat on bags until my knuckles were numb.  Then I went home and got friendly with a bottle.  During those two months I’d been suspended in a state of grim faith that sooner or later the phone would ring.

Then one day that’s exactly what happened. 

I was feeling pretty fine in the days after my wild night with Truly.  It was a ferocious release and seemed to calm something deep inside.  When I thought about girls I couldn’t remember another one who had been able to keep up with me the way she could. Each time I figured she’d had enough she would bend down and take me in her mouth or flip over and pull me inside once more.  Since that night, every fresh boner arose from memories of her and it made me hungry to see her again even though ‘again’ wasn’t an idea I attached to women.

It was the middle of the week and Chase was poking around in the kitchen cupboards.   He was also complaining loudly.

“Jesus, what do you people have against going to the grocery store?” 

“There something the matter with your legs and your wallet which stops you from going?”

“I’m always the one who goes,” grumbled Chase. 

“Bullshit, junior.  I spent two hundred bucks at Fry’s on Saturday.  It’s just that you eat like a fucking garbage disposal.” 

Chase belched.  “I’m a growing boy.” 

I leaned against the wall, close to the fridge.  I was afraid I’d never look at a fridge again without sporting some serious wood.  It might be a little sick but that appliance was now linked in my mind to the vision of Tallulah Rae Lee wrapped in the most irresistible dick stimulator ever created.  It was black.  It was lacy.  It was tight.  It would be in my head for as long as I could still think. 

“What the fuck?” Chase demanded. 

“Huh?”

“You’ve got this disgusting thing on your face that might have started out as a smile.”

I cuffed him across the head.  I let him sputter for a few minutes about what a vile brute I was and then I nodded at him seriously.

“Hey, what do you do know about that Truly girl?”

Chase grinned from ear to ear.  “I know she’s got a sharp tongue and tits enough to drown in.” 

“Is that all?”

“Does there need to be something else?”

I glanced towards Say and Cord’s room even though neither one of them were home.  I could have asked Saylor about her friend but that would have raised more questions than it answered.  She hadn’t brought any of it up again and neither had I. 

“You know,” Chase mused, “I could get in the mood for some chicken.  What do you say, man?”

I didn’t know if Truly was working tonight.  Chances were she would be there.  She’d been there every other time I’d shown up.  The thought of seeing her again excited the shit out of me.  I wanted to see her again.  All of her. 

“I could eat chicken,” I agreed and Chase started pushing me towards the door. 

When my phone buzzed I figured it was either Cord asking what we were up to or else the university calling to find out if I could work an event.  I came to a dead stop when I saw I’d been wrong on both counts.  Chase turned around and peered at me curiously. 

“Hernandez,” I said smoothly into the phone. 

“Hey Creed.  Listen, I know I’ve been neglecting you.”

“I’ll get over it.”  My stomach had dropped to my knees.  Every muscle in my body tensed.  If I was stone then nothing could cut me.  “You got something set up?”

Gabe sighed.  “You’ve had less time in the ring than your brother Cord.  The men who hold the big chips don’t know what to expect from you.  Cord, on the other hand-“

“No!” I shouted.  “Cord didn’t deal.  I did.” 

“I understand,” Gabe answered coolly, “but I think it’ll take a small bout or two for you to prove you’re a cut above the base model.  As I know you are.” 

I leaned against the wall and clenched my teeth.  “Why don’t you just tell it straight Gabe?  What do I need to do?”

“You need to show up tomorrow night and take something down. It’ll be easy.”

I heard my own heartbeat.  It was surprisingly calm.  “Fine.  Give me the details and I’ll be there.”

Once Gabe had relayed the boring particulars he cleared his throat.

“Creed.  I know this will be an easy win for you because I set it up that way.  You catch my meaning?”

“Nah, I’m a little slow.  Be explicit.” 

“I’m not expecting you to take a dive.  If you do I’ll be…disappointed.” 

“I wouldn’t let that happen.”  I ended the call without saying anything else. 

Chase was staring at me worriedly from several feet away. 

“It’s not a big deal,” I told him.  “They’re calling in a patsy for me to flatten.”

Chase crossed his arms.  “Why?”

I told him the truth.  “So they can get some deep pockets interested in financing something bigger.” 

“Bigger,” Chase nodded, “and bloodier.” 

I held out my hands.  “What the hell do you want me to say, Chase?”

“Nothin’,” Chase coughed.  “You still want to go eat?”

“No,” I said darkly.  “My appetite’s kind of gone.” 

“Yeah, mine too.” 

Chase pushed past me and retreated to his room.  I knew it tore his guts out that I was in this position because I’d been on a misguided quest to avenge him.  He hadn’t asked me to.  In fact he’d begged me not to.  And in the end I hadn’t avenged a thing yet I was still committed to the madness. 

I didn’t know how long I just stood there, looking at the blank surface of the wall.  At some point Cord walked through the door and found me. 

He approached me with some wariness.  “What’s up, Big C?”

I looked at my brother.  This would hurt him and I hated to hurt him. “It’s time.”

Cord’s shoulders sagged.  He leaned against the wall next to me with a sigh and then slid down to the floor.  “What’s the arrangement?”

“I’ve got to pound some poor fucker tomorrow night in order to prove I’m a force to be reckoned with.”

Cord looked up at me hopefully.  “Then stick your pride up your ass and prove you’re only good at falling down.”

I sat down next to him.  “Gabe’s already thought of that.  This match wasn’t designed with my failure in mind.” 

A door opened and Chase appeared.  He sank down on my other side.  We stayed like that for a little while, the three of us huddled together.  It was the way we’d always been.  Our father, Benton Gentry, was a son of a bitch.  He was always spinning into some mad bender and searching for something to hurt.  We were young when we learned how quickly the mood could take him and we also learned how to hide until it passed.  Whenever I was waiting in terrified darkness I could always reach out and be comforted by the nearness of my brothers.  I was never alone. 

Cord finally spoke up.  I knew his cheerfulness wasn’t real.  “You shitheads hungry?  I’ll treat.”

Chase elbowed me.  “Seems we were on our way to eat some chicken before we got interrupted.” 

I shook my head.  I was too close to the edge.  When that happened I tended to look for meaning in the bottle.  I got lost that way.  It was bad enough that the boys and now Saylor had seen that ugly side of me.  I couldn’t stomach the thought of Truly seeing it too.

“I’m in the mood for burritos,” I said

Cord was watching me.  I thought he was going to say something about Truly but he stopped and smiled.  “You got it.” 

Chase started ushering both of us out the door.  “Your wallet’s gonna be significantly lighter when I’m done stuffing myself.”

Cord rolled his eyes.  “So be it.”  He turned and touched me on the arm.  “We’ll make it,” he said with confidence.  “We always do.” 

“I know.”  I held the front door open.  “After you, brother.” 

Truly

“You’re quiet,” Saylor said.

I was sitting at a back table, poking at a chicken sandwich.  Saylor paused at my side with a pitcher of water in her hand.  She looked at me carefully. 

“It’s the heat,” I told her. 

She set the pitcher down and sat across from me.  “You’re full of it.  It’s always hot.  Except for a few weeks in January when we all get to pull our jackets out from underneath the bed and pretend we live somewhere manageable.  After that the blistering heat returns.” 

I cut the chicken sandwich in half.  That didn’t make it look any more appetizing.  It seemed the quality of Cluck This dining was on a downward spiral.  Or else I was. 

“Perhaps the older I become the more easily I wilt.” 

My friend stared at me, her green eyes serious.  She absently played with the silver ring on her left hand.  Cord had given it to her; a symbol of their love and their future.  We hadn’t spoken again about my crazy sex encounter with Creed Gentry.  I didn’t ask about him and, mercifully, I hadn’t seen him around.  I would have been utterly mortified if anyone besides Dolly knew that every night I was compelled to pick up Creed’s abandoned shirt and inhale the lingering scent of him as every important nerve in my body convulsed. 

Saylor had apparently decided not to press me.  She tossed her head in the direction of the latest waitressing addition.  Her name was Julie and she was tall, blonde and, from what I could tell, a vicious phony.  

“She’s making me look bad,” Saylor commented and we both turned to watch Julie as she brightly relayed the Cluck This specials to a troupe of middle aged businessmen who stared unabashedly at her tanned legs. 

“Well, sugar,” I sighed, “it ain’t that tough to make you look bad at this career.”  Saylor was an awful waitress. 

“Screw you,” she said good-naturedly.  “Just see if I invite you to my first book signing.”

“Oh, you finished it?”

“No quite,” she frowned.  “I’m getting there though.” 

“I’d like to read it.  Really.” 

She smiled faintly.  “And so you shall the minute I’m finished.” 

“I can’t wait.” 

Saylor looked suddenly distracted.  She pulled at her hair and pursed her lips slightly.  My heart skipped a little.  I knew she was going to mention Creed. 

“He seemed almost cheerful there for a few days.  Pretty remarkable for Creedence.  Usually he’s nothing but grim and distant.” 

“Oh,” I said, only because I felt like I had to answer somehow. 

“Sorry,” she shook her head.  “I shouldn’t have brought his name up.”

“No, it’s okay.  I mean he’s your future brother-in-law and he lives in the same apartment as you.  I don’t plan on spending the rest of my days running from any mention of Creed Gentry.” 

She gave me a pitying smile.  Sometimes I felt like Saylor could see through me.  Aggie used to be able to do that, to call me on bullshit when she saw it.  I couldn’t really put a finger on what was bothering me.  I wasn’t even sure I liked Creed.  How could I?  The boy barely spoke.  But holy shit was there a chemistry there.  I couldn’t admit it to Saylor.  I could barely admit it to myself.  Creedence Gentry had made me forget everything I ever thought I knew about sex, passion and the way my own body worked.  He had shaken me to the core. 

Saylor rose from the chair with a sigh.  She tapped me on the shoulder with kindness.  “Remember what I said, Truly.  About screaming to the sky.” 

I did remember.  Say had told me that if I ever needed someone to talk to, to stand there next to me as I screamed at the sky, then she was my girl.  She’d said it to me as I stood primping in front of a mirror, not guessing that within an hour I’d take an inexcusable risk and be screaming all right, but from sheer ecstasy.  Still, it was nice to think there was someone who actually cared about what was going on inside my head.    

“You’d be the one I’d call,” I assured her. 

Ed had emerged from his office and he was eyeing us.  Saylor flounced past him and smiled.  I still had ten minutes left of my break so I choked down a few more bites of chicken and then tossed the rest in the trash. 

The rest of the evening was uneventful drudgery.  I took orders.  I served chicken.  Then I did it again. 

Cord came through the door about half an hour before close.  Ed gave him a hard look but Cord held up his hands and grinned. 

“You said not to come in after hours.  It’s not after hours.” 

Ed scowled.  “Well you’ve still got to order something or leave.” 

“Fine.”  Cord sat down at a table by the door.  “Give me a Coke.” 

“I’m not a waiter!”

“Truly,” Cord grinned at me sweetly.  “Would you please take my order?”

“It’ll be right out,” I told him, smiling in spite of myself.               

Saylor was in the kitchen trying to balance four plates loaded with food.  It looked like a situation destined for disaster so I took several of them from her. 

“Cord’s here,” I said.  “He’s expecting someone to bring him a Coke.” 

“Hmm,” she frowned.  “He’s early.” 

I told her to go on ahead and that I would serve her table.  She gave me a grateful smile and then retreated with Cord’s drink in hand.  I brought the food out to a quartet of college guys.  They tried to compliment me in a flirty, harmless way but I just wasn’t up for it.  I asked them if they needed anymore ketchup and then moved on. 

The sight of Cord and Saylor sitting together stopped me.  Cord looked upset.  Say was across from him, her head bowed.  Suddenly she rose and went to him, pulling his head to her breast.  He circled his arms around her back and closed his eyes.  She rocked back and forth gently, kissing the top of his head. 

After a few minutes Saylor returned to work and Cord remained at the front table, quietly waiting for her.  When all the other customers had left and the sign on the front door changed to ‘Closed’ I caught up to Say by the bar. 

“Everything okay?”

She tried to smile but I could tell she was a bit rattled.  She glanced at Cord and shrugged.  “I don’t know.” 

“Anything I can do?”

“No.”  She quickly hugged me.  “But thanks.  It just really is a Gentry world, that’s all.” 

“You don’t need to remind me of that,” I muttered and Saylor looked at me with raised eyebrows.  I nudged her.  “Why don’t you get out of here?  I’ll cover for you on cleanup.” 

“Thanks,” she said absently, staring at Cord.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She collected Cord and the two of them left with their arms securely around each other.  I couldn’t help but wonder if whatever was going on had to do with Creed. 

The new waitress was apparently too good to help with cleanup.  I glared at her back while she chatted with Griffin and tapped her pink polished talons on the surface of the bar. 

“Some folks are still working,” I said loudly. 

Julie turned to me with a frozen smile, looking me up and down.  I wasn’t in spectacular shape just then.  My hair was tied up in a sloppy ponytail and the jeans I was wearing had been a better fit several years and a couple hundred spin cycles ago. 

“Some people are better suited for hard labor than others,” she retorted in such a pointedly bitchy way I was tempted to shove a bottle of tabasco sauce up her little pug nose.

After I wiped down the tables and straightened all the chairs I took my serving apron off and stalked to the back.  From the smug way Griffin glanced at me I could tell he thought he was in business with this Julie chick.  I stuck my tongue out at him just because I could.  His eyes widened and he returned to listening to Julie drone on about sorority hazing rituals. 

I grabbed my purse and popped my head into Ed’s office.  “I’m takin’ off now, boss.” 

Ed looked at me.  It seemed that before I walked in he’d been busy staring at his shoes.

“Fine,” he sighed, then ran a hand across his pink scalp. A bottle of antacid sat on the edge of his disordered desk.  I retreated quickly, needing to get away from that sad vision for fear my soul might shrivel. 

The air outside was humid.  Usually when I left work for the night and got into my car I felt an overriding sense of freedom.  I was on my own.  I had everything I needed and I would keep working until I was able to climb higher.  But tonight, as I remembered the way Cord and Saylor had looked together, so sweet and loving, I felt a little lonely. 

Stephanie wasn’t home.  That wasn’t a surprise.  She was rarely home.  My roommate was so furtive and tight-lipped that sometimes I wondered if she was in the mob. 

Dolly ran to greet me and I picked her up, kissing her between the ears.  “I know. You’re always happy to see me.” 

I set her down and went to toss my purse in my bedroom.   I was hoping there was ice cream left in the freezer.  I planned to eat it sloppily and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand as I lounged on the futon to watch the most depraved reality television show I could find. 

Don’t do it.  Don’t do it. 

But I did it.  I did it anyway.  I picked up Creed’s shirt and breathed through the fabric.  The act made me feel so wanton and pathetic I had to sit down.  Was this the direction I would always go, no matter how desperately I tried to turn myself into something better? 

“You want it, girl.  Shit you’re the type who was born to it.”

It wasn’t Creed’s voice I heard in my head.  It had an Alabama backwater drawl and the memory of it made me feel slightly sick. 

I was aware my fingers were twisting the shirt fabric as my jaw locked.  He hadn’t been the first man to put his hands all over me but he was the first one who managed to crack the barrier and get everything he was after. 

When Laura Lee found out her latest man had been screwing her daughter she lost what little mind she had left.  At age thirty six she looked ten years older.  The closer the four of us grew to womanhood the more she would watch us with incredulous misery. I didn’t know if my sisters suspected what I’d already figured out; our mother wasn’t longing for the babies we’d been.  She was grieving for the youth we’d cost her. 

I’ll never know how things would have gone if I’d stayed.  Maybe Laura Lee would have gotten over her wrath and I could have finished high school.  There was no man to fight over, not anymore.  He had taken off without a second glance like so many men before him.  But there were still the things my mother and I said to each other. 

“Filthy fuckin’ whore.”

“Goddamn crazy bitch.”

There was still the sting of her hand on my cheek and the welts on my back from the hairbrush she’d beat me with.  There was something else too; something she had never known about and would never know about. 

I didn’t even consider Laura Lee as one of the worst of my many losses.  I could live without her.  But it still stung to be without my sisters. 

Dolly seemed to sense my miserable mood.  She rubbed against my legs and let out a little whine of commiseration. 

I didn’t let myself think about it.  I just pulled out my phone and called a number. 

“Hi,” said my sister Augusta.  She sounded breathless, as if she’d been in a rush to get somewhere quiet so she could answer her phone.  I took that as a good sign. 

“Hey, Aggie.”  My voice kind of died right there. For all those girlhood years, I’d taken for granted the easy way we talked to each other in a kind of secret language that came from navigating life together.  Anger happened sometimes and was expected but it never lasted.  It was a bump to be stepped over. 

If I’d known on a dark night four years ago that by leaving I would cut the invisible strings tying us all together I might not have been able to do it. 

My sister sighed from far away.  She’d made good so far.  Now a sophomore at Oklahoma State, she was studying veterinary medicine.  I heard the steady drumbeat of rain coming from her end of the line and tried to picture the state of Oklahoma.  I’d driven through it once and remembered a lot of flat land beneath an endless sky.

“So how are you?” she finally asked.

“I’m good.  Still working at the same place.  Saving up to go to school.”

“That’s good, Truly.  Really, that’s good.  You designing at all?”

“Not lately.  I had to unload my Singer a while back.”  Actually I’d had to sell my expensive sewing machine in order to scrape together rent money but I didn’t see the point in spilling every sad detail.  “You hear from Mia lately?  I left her a message about two months ago but never got a call back.”

“She doesn’t have her phone anymore.  She joined some kind of earthy movement that believes in farming beets by way of cow shit.  She’s up there in the Oregon countryside getting rained on and sticking her hands in the mud.  She sends a letter to me here every four weeks or so. She seems happy.” 

It was difficult for me to picture the fragile Meridian Lee with dirt in her blond hair and callouses on her soft hands. 

“Well, good for her I guess.  And I know Carrie just started her senior year.” 

“She did.  She’s got several soccer scouts already tossing scholarships at her feet.”