Reawakened by the Surgeon's Touch (7 page)

‘Because he is gorgeous. And sexy. And because I don't want him practising his gorgeously sexy charms on me.'

‘Why ever not!' Lesley exclaimed. ‘Oh, I know we're not supposed to form relationships but that's never stopped anyone, has it? I mean, look at Sasha and Javid. They're totally smitten but it hasn't affected their work. So what's to stop you and the gorgeous Jude indulging in an
affaire de coeur
? You're both young, free and single, plus it's obvious that he's interested...'

‘Of course he isn't interested!' Claire denied hotly. Colour ran up her face when Lesley treated her to an old-fashioned look. ‘He isn't. He's just one of those men who can't stop themselves hitting on a woman. That's all it is.'

‘If you say so,' Lesley replied, making it clear that she didn't believe her. Reaching under her pillow, she pulled out her pyjamas. ‘Right, time for beddy-byes, I think. There's clean jammies in the top drawer of the chest, so help yourself.'

She headed off to the bathroom, leaving Claire to sort out her night attire. Opening the drawer, she took out the first set of pyjamas she came to. They were made from plain white cotton, very prim and virginal, perfectly in keeping with her new persona, in fact. She smiled wryly as she undressed and slipped them on.
Sister
Claire wouldn't feel the least bit uncomfortable wearing these.

Claire went to the bathroom once Lesley came back and availed herself of the facilities. It was very quiet and she guessed that everyone had settled down for the night. She sighed as she headed back to their room. All she could do was hope that nobody would question her about what had gone on that night. She wanted to forget it and, most important of all, forget what had triggered that bout of near-hysteria. The less she thought about Jude Slater, the better.

As though thinking about him had conjured him up, he suddenly appeared. It was dark in the corridor with only the light from a single hurricane lantern to lift the gloom and he didn't seem to have seen her. Claire felt her breath catch as he ground to a halt when he spotted her. There was a moment when neither of them moved, when the very air seemed to have stilled, packed so full of thoughts and feelings that it could no longer move. And then Jude took one slow step then another until they were facing each other.

His eyes swept over, burning through the thin cotton of her borrowed pyjamas, scorching her. And even though he didn't say a word Claire knew. She knew what he was thinking. Feeling. She knew because it was what she was thinking and feeling too. He carried on, disappearing into the men's bathroom, but it was several seconds before she could move. She went into her room and lay down on the bed, listening to the hammering of her heart. It knew what had happened, knew and was reacting to it even though she didn't want it to.

Closing her eyes, Claire tried to blot out everything except the thought of sleep but it didn't work. How could it when her body was aching, throbbing, begging for fulfilment? For two whole years the thought of being intimate with a man had been repugnant to her but not any longer. Jude had awoken her dormant emotions and now she felt more vulnerable than ever.

How could she be sure that her mind wouldn't conjure up the memory of that dreadful night if she slept with a man again? That she wouldn't relive the horror of what had happened to her? It had been so hard to put her life back together and find a reason to carry on, and she couldn't do it again. She didn't have the strength. Maybe Jude had aroused feelings she had thought long dead but she couldn't allow them to grow and flourish. It wasn't worth the risk of being plunged back into the abyss.

CHAPTER SIX

A
SOFT
MIST
shrouded the landscape when Jude awoke shortly before six the following morning. He hadn't slept well, and he felt tired and out of sorts as he tossed back the mosquito net and climbed out of bed. Gathering up his wash bag, he made his way to the bathroom, thinking about what had happened the night before.

Meeting Claire in the corridor had been the main reason why sleep had eluded him. Every time he had closed his eyes, he could picture her standing there in those oh-so-prim pyjamas. The women he knew back home wouldn't have been seen dead in an outfit like that but Jude knew that no amount of satin and lace could have had the impact those pyjamas had had on him...

He forced the thought aside as he stepped under the shower. The water was on the cold side of tepid but he preferred it that way. Maybe a cold shower would achieve what all his rationalising had failed to do. Claire wasn't for him, he told himself once more. She wasn't for any man. Her life had been promised to a far higher authority.

By the time he went down for breakfast he felt a little better, more positive about his ability to cope. Maybe he was way out of his comfort zone but he could do this. He only needed to get through the next three months and then he could go back to the life he knew, the comfortable existence he enjoyed...

Did he enjoy it, though? Did he derive any real satisfaction from the luxuries he bought and the expensive restaurants he frequented? Weren't they more a means to compensate himself for doing a job that bored him? Weren't there times when he longed for something more taxing, something that would make a difference to people's lives?

As he helped himself from the breakfast buffet, Jude was suddenly beset by doubts again, and he resented it. Bitterly. Maybe he did want to prove his worth but he hadn't realised it would mean him re-evaluating his whole life!

‘Skip the coffee if you value your health.'

Jude glanced round when Matt Kearney called over to him. He nodded when the other man held up a flask and waggled it at him. Picking up his tray, Jude went to join him, forcing himself to smile. Maybe he was starting to have doubts about the life he'd led for the past five years but he would keep them to himself. Pride dictated that he present a confident front.

‘I take it that's a tad more palatable than Moses' special brew,' he said lightly as he picked up a mango and started to peel it.

‘Too right.' Matt poured a small measure of coffee into a plastic cup that he produced from his canvas holdall. ‘Wrap your taste buds round that and see what you think.'

Jude's brows rose as he took a sip. ‘Delicious! Where on earth did you get it?'

‘Let's just say that I have my sources.' Matt tapped the side of his nose and winked.

Jude laughed. ‘In other words, ask no questions and hear no lies.' He took an appreciative swallow of the coffee and sighed. ‘I hope you can get some more. I may just survive the next few months with coffee as good as this on tap.'

‘I'll do what I can but I can't make any promises.' Matt refilled the cup. ‘There's a lot of stuff only available on the black market. Oh, I know we're not supposed to buy from the racketeers but it's part of everyday life over here. If you want something badly enough then you have to pay the going rate for it.'

‘Well, I'm more than happy to contribute, although I only have dollars with me, I'm afraid. I was told that it wasn't possible to get hold of the local currency outside the country.'

‘That's right. The government put a stop to it being traded but dollars are fine. Folk prefer them, in fact. There's less chance of the dollar being devalued,' he explained when Jude looked questioningly at him.

‘Oh, I see. In that case, then, just tell me how much you want.'

‘Will do, once I know what my contact is charging. Prices tend to fluctuate according to demand, if you get my drift.' Matt screwed the lid back on the flask and stood up. ‘Right, I'm off to bed. Have a good one.'

‘I'll try.'

Jude sketched him a wave and turned back to his breakfast, savouring the sweetly tangy flavour of the mango which tasted so much better than the ones he bought at home. The bread was rather solid and chewy but he made himself eat a whole slice. He didn't want to risk passing out from lack of nourishment, definitely not if he was in Theatre this morning. Why, who knew what he might have to deal with?

The thought of what the day might bring sent a rush of excitement coursing through him. He was smiling as he picked up his tray and took it over to the rack where the dirty dishes were stacked. There were several trays there which meant that most of the others had eaten already. He had better get a move on, he decided. He had no idea what time they were due to be picked up: Claire hadn't told him that.

Bang! That was all it took, just the thought of her and his pulse was off and running again like an Olympic sprinter. As Jude made his way outside, he tried to tell himself that it meant nothing, that it was merely the result of him and Claire having been thrust together into that highly dangerous situation the day before. Why, it was common knowledge that even professional soldiers formed a close bond when they were forced to face untold dangers together, so it was no wonder that he was having all these crazy thoughts after what had gone on.

Jude did his best but no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that was the real explanation, he didn't actually believe it. Somehow, some
way
, Claire had cast a spell over him and no amount of rationalising seemed able to break it.

* * *

Claire was relieved when no one mentioned what had gone on the previous night over breakfast. It seemed that everyone had decided to ignore her outburst and she was relieved. Although she knew that folk would be sympathetic if she explained what had caused it, she couldn't bear to go down that route. She didn't want the people she worked with to behave differently around her, to be constantly on their guard in case they said the wrong thing. She just wanted to be treated the same as everyone else.

That was one of the reasons why she hadn't told anyone at the time. It wasn't only what Andrew had said about the police not believing her but the thought of the effect it could have on her family and friends. It had made her see that staying in London was out of the question. Not only would she run the risk of bumping into Andrew but there was also the fear of somehow letting slip about what had happened to her. When the job with the WHO had come up she had immediately applied for it. No matter what dangers she faced, she would feel safer in Mwuranda.

That was why she had decided to stay on when the WHO job had ended. However, the time was fast approaching when she would have to leave. Her visa was due to expire shortly and she couldn't remain in the country without it. The thought of returning to London weighed heavily on her. She had honestly thought that she had turned a corner but what had happened last night had rocked her confidence. Was she really ready to put the past behind her and get on with her life?

Thoughts tumbled around her head as she went outside to wait for the truck. The early morning air was pleasantly cool although the temperature would start to rise soon. All the nurses were wearing cotton scrubs the same as she was wearing. Lesley had lent them to her and Claire was grateful for her kindness. She would miss Lesley and the others when she left Mwuranda. She would miss Jude too.

Her heart lurched even though she knew how stupid it was to think such a thing. She had known him less than a day, so why on earth should she miss him? She tried to dismiss the idea but it wouldn't go away. She was going to miss him whether she liked it or not.

A movement caught her attention and she glanced round, feeling her heart lurch again when she saw Jude standing on the steps. He was wearing khaki chinos and a white T-shirt, and Claire bit her lip. The soft cotton chinos emphasised the muscular length of his legs while the T-shirt highlighted the midnight darkness of his hair. He looked exactly what he was, an incredibly handsome and sexy man in his prime. Even though she didn't want to be aware of him, she couldn't help it.

His eyes suddenly alighted on her and she saw him frown. Striding down the steps, he came straight over to her. ‘I thought you were going to rest,' he snapped, his deep voice grating with annoyance.

‘I did.' Claire shrugged, hoping that he couldn't tell how keyed up she felt. Now that he was standing right beside her, she could feel the warmth of his skin and smell the citrusy scent of the shower gel he had used that morning. All of a sudden it felt as though her senses were being swamped by him, that he was invading every atom of her being...

‘I had a good night's sleep and I feel fine this morning,' she said, quickly quashing that thought. She wasn't a character in some fifth-rate film. She was a qualified nurse and she knew for a fact that ideas like that were a load of nonsense. Sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell—it needed a lot more than some man's proximity to affect all of them.

‘Really? So you're not going to throw another wobble like last night?' Jude folded his arms and regarded her with open scepticism. ‘You can swear to that, can you?'

‘Yes, I can!' Claire snapped, glaring up at him. Everyone else had had the decency to let matters lie but not him. Oh, no, he had to go raking it all up and make her feel even more unsettled. ‘I am perfectly fine, Dr Slater. Thank you for your concern but it is unnecessary, I assure you.'

Fortunately, the truck arrived just then. Claire climbed on board, patting the seat beside her when Lesley followed her inside. Everyone took their places and she was relieved to see that Jude had opted to sit by the tailgate. They set off with a lurch and she grabbed hold of the bench, shaking her head when Lesley apologised as she cannoned into her. It would have been a very different matter, of course, if Jude had been sitting next to her...

Claire erased that thought and concentrated instead on what her friend was saying. Apparently, Lesley had received a letter from her fiancé and wasn't sure what to make of it. She handed it to Claire to see what she thought. Claire's heart sank as she read through the tersely worded paragraphs. Quite frankly, the tone of the letter didn't bode well and she hated to think that her friend might be heading for a major disappointment.

‘I've no idea what Tom means about us needing to talk when I get home,' Lesley said as she took the letter back. She frowned. ‘I mean, everything's sorted. We've booked the wedding venue and the honeymoon,
and
we've put down a deposit on a house that's being built in an area we both particularly like. What's there to talk about?'

‘I don't know,' Claire said carefully. ‘You don't think he's having second thoughts, do you?'

‘Tom?' Lesley laughed. ‘No way! We've been together since sixth form, so I reckon he knows me inside and out the same as I know him. No, I honestly can't see it's that.'

‘Then I have no idea what he wants to talk about.' Claire summoned a smile, not wanting to upset Lesley, hopefully, unnecessarily. ‘Mind you, I'm no expert when it comes to relationships. My track record is abysmal.'

‘Is that why you're so wary of Jude?' Lesley lowered her voice. ‘It's as plain as the nose on my face that he's interested in you, Claire, yet you've batted him into touch in the most effective way possible. No way is he going to try anything now he thinks you're a
nun
!'

‘Good. I don't want him trying anything.' She shook her head when Lesley rolled her eyes. ‘No. It's true. I'm through with handsome,
charming
men like Jude Slater after what happened the last time.'

‘Is that why you've remained over here?' Lesley asked curiously.

‘Yes. I got well and truly burnt, and I needed time to get over it. Being here has helped enormously,' Claire said quietly.

‘Helped but not killed off all the demons,' Lesley said astutely. She patted Claire's hand. ‘If you ever need a sounding board then you know where I am.'

‘I do. Thank you.'

Claire was touched by the offer even though she knew that she would never take Lesley up on it. Her friend let the subject drop and Claire was glad. She didn't want to think about the past, especially now when she felt so vulnerable. She glanced at Jude and sighed. Was he interested in her, as Lesley claimed? She wasn't sure, not that it really mattered because she definitely wasn't going to get involved with him. Maybe she was far more aware of him than she wanted to be but it didn't make any difference. She still wouldn't risk getting involved with anyone after what had happened.

* * *

‘I'm pleased with his progress, although it will be a while before we can be sure that he's over the worst. In the meantime, I want him kept sedated. It will allow the swelling in his brain to subside and, hopefully, lead to a better outcome.'

Jude handed Ezra's notes to Amy, who was accompanying him on his rounds that morning. Without wanting to appear boastful, he knew that it would be down to his skills as a surgeon if Ezra pulled through. As he followed Amy to the next bed, he felt his spirits lift. He had felt a little deflated after speaking to Claire earlier that morning but this had helped put things into perspective. Even if his reasons for coming to Mwuranda hadn't been as noble as everyone else's, he could still make a positive contribution while he was here.

The rest of the ward round passed quickly. Jude made a couple of minor adjustments to various patients' medication but on the whole he agreed with his colleagues' recommendations. He had been told that there was a clinic that morning which he would be taking, so after he left the ward, he made his way to the main hall where it was being held. He ground to a halt when he saw the queue of people waiting to be seen. He had never imagined there would be this many!