Picks & Pucks (28 page)

He carefully withdrew, removing the condom and tossing it in the trash. I handed him some tissues and he wiped off his hand, cleaning up my mess. Again I waited for him to climb out of bed, gather his clothes and leave. He surprised me by asking permission to stay. The demons raced around the bed, bringing up Danny and telling me I was a fool to let him stay.

“Okay,” I mumbled. He gathered me in his arms and pressed his nose against my neck.

M
ORNING
CAME
,
bringing with it a massive headache along with an empty bed. I wasn’t surprised, but I wasn’t happy either. I glanced at my phone, frowning when the only message on it was from Janae telling me what time to be at the rink.

Jack was sitting at the kitchen table, reading the paper. I sat down, and he peered over the top at me.

“Just say it,” I said. “I know you’re dying to throw it in my face.”

“I’m not saying a word,” he said.

“Did you see him this morning?”

“He went for a run. And before you ask, he didn’t say anything.”

“I wasn’t going to ask,” I grumbled.

“Justin, if you need anything, all you have to do is ask,” he repeated.

“I know,” I said. “Call me when you get settled.”

He stood up and pulled me into a hug. “Be careful,” he whispered.

“I have to go or I’m going to be late for practice. Marina is upset enough,” I said, untangling myself from his arms. “I’m glad you’re back in my life, Jack.”

Jack handed me a banana and followed me to the front door. When I opened the door, CJ was leaning on the railing, trying to catch his breath. At first I thought he was winded from his workout, but when he didn’t look up at me, I knew something was wrong.

“CJ?”

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, struggling to get up the stairs. “I wiped out on some ice when I was running.”

Demons fluttered around us as I called for Jack to give us a hand. I wanted to tell him I knew he was lying, but I bit my tongue and stayed silent. We got him into the house and sat him on the couch.

“Call Danny. I don’t want you going to the rink alone, Justin,” Jack said. “I’ll take care of him.”

“I don’t need a fucking babysitter,” I said.

CJ moaned, and my stomach dropped to my knees. I escaped before Jack could say anything else about calling someone.

I was visibly shaken and practice sucked. After the fourth failed triple axel, Marina sent me home with orders to come back tomorrow morning ready to work. I raced out of there before she changed her mind.

When I got home, Eli and Taylor were in the kitchen, cooking pasta.

“Are you going to the game tonight?” Eli asked.

“No, I don’t think I could handle it,” I said.

“I’ll let you know if anything happens.”

“Thanks,” I muttered.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear if something happened.

The night passed slowly, but I didn’t get a text from Eli. I was going to take that as a good sign that Jack had been able to keep control of the game and his players.

When I heard the front door open, I hid in my room and held my breath. A tap sounded on my door.

“It’s just me,” Jack said.

“Hey,” I said, glancing over his shoulder.

“He’s still with the team. I don’t know if he’s coming here tonight,” Jack said.

“Oh,” I said, trying to keep the disappointment from my face.

“The game was okay. No one got hurt or tossed out, but he needs time to unwind.”

“Whatever,” I grumbled. “I have an early practice.”

Jack gave me a one-armed guy-hug before grabbing his suitcase.

CJ showed up at around three in the morning. He climbed into bed and turned his back toward me. I pretended to be asleep.

As the days passed, CJ became more withdrawn and quiet. He still slept in my bed, but he seemed a million miles away and he barely touched me anymore. It hurt to be so close to him, knowing he didn’t trust me to tell me his troubles.

I walked in on a few more shouting matches between some of the players and him, but he never said a word to me about any of the fights. I tried to talk to my dad, but he refused to discuss CJ, saying only that I should stay close in case he needed me.

A week before Christmas, I bumped into CJ outside the locker room. Blood dripped from his nose, and I’d decided I’d had enough.

“You need to tell me what the fuck is going on. And don’t tell me you tripped. You aren’t that much of a klutz.”

He scowled and wiped the blood on the sleeve of his jacket. “I can handle it.”

“Apparently you can’t or you wouldn’t be bleeding on the floor.”

“What do you want from me?” he said, grinding his teeth together.

“The truth would be nice.”

“I can’t do this right now,” CJ said, not meeting my gaze. “I need some space.”

“Space? Space from what?”

“Space from you. I didn’t put enough effort into my classes, and I haven’t been working out enough. You’re a distraction.”

“I’m a distraction? I’m a distraction. You fucking bastard!”

I shoved him hard. He did nothing to defend himself. I wanted to punch him in the face.

“I knew this would happen. You fucking goddamn hockey players are all alike. No fucking balls! You could at least tell me the truth.”

It hit me hard when I figured out he probably didn’t think enough of me to tell me the truth. It made my heart splinter, but it made it easier to tell him to fuck off.

He hung his head, staring at the floor.

I took a deep breath. “You know what? You’re right. I don’t have the time or energy to worry about your shit. You don’t want me involved, so let’s just end it right here. We had a nice run. I never really did think there was an us. I think we were sort of friends or fuck buddies….” I paused. “Whatever. I’m trying to win a national championship and qualify for the Olympics. You’re trying to go to school and play hockey in between these fucking beat-downs. This thing between us is a distraction. I’m glad we cleared this up.”

He widened his stance and grabbed my wrist before I could walk away. “Fuck buddies? That’s what you think?”

I huffed and wrenched my arm out of his grip. “Real lovers confide in each other. There’s nothing real about us, CJ. We’ve both lied and kept a lot of stuff hidden. That’s not healthy. Besides, it’s better this way,” I snapped. The demons piled into the hallway and laughed at me.

His face crumpled, and he jammed his hands into his pockets and stomped away, leaving me leaning against the wall, too stunned to speak or move.

“What did I do?” I murmured.

“Justin?”

“Oh fuck,” I mumbled. I didn’t need a confrontation with Danny right now. I steeled myself and waited for him to say something stupid, so we could shout at each other.

“Look, I know it’s none of my business and you don’t need—”

I interrupted him. “You’re right, Danny. It’s none of your fucking business, and for once in your life, be a decent guy and don’t say anything about CJ, or I will come after you. He’s been through enough shit!”

“I’m not going to say anything. Pretty sure everyone knows anyway.”

I gasped and didn’t know if I should be scandalized or relieved.

“He’s a strong man, and so are you,” he said.

“I’m not,” I whimpered and closed my eyes.

He sighed and touched my shoulder. I flinched and backed away.

“Justin,” he said. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Too fucking late,” I said. “Just leave me alone, Danny.”

His shoulders sagged, and he frowned. “Call me if you need to talk.”

I didn’t know how much more shit I could take. My heart ached, and the ice called to me. I needed it, to feel the world still had some good in it. Skating made me feel powerful and in control. As I walked toward the ice, the creepy feeling of eyes on me was back.

“Kenny?” I called out, but no one answered.

I shook my head and slipped the skate guards off my blades. I skated until my legs were numb, until I felt like my lungs were going to fall out of my chest. I skated hoping I would be so exhausted that sleep would come tonight.

I had several messages on my phone from Danny. Maybe I would take advantage of the dork. I sent him a text asking him to pick me up at the rink.

He answered right away, telling me he’d be there in a few minutes.

I grabbed my bag and headed outside. Clouds hid the stars but kept the warmer air locked in. It wasn’t T-shirt weather, but for the middle of winter, it was downright balmy.

A car raced into the parking lot and pulled up alongside me. At first I thought it was Danny, but a guy dressed in black suddenly jumped out of the car. Another guy followed, holding a hockey stick.

“Look, boys, it’s CJ’s boy toy,” the first guy shouted, lunging at me.

The sound of another car distracted both guys for a few seconds, giving me the opportunity to try and run. The guy with the hockey stick swung and hit me in the shoulder, knocking me to the ground.

I banged my face on the ground when I fell.

“Justin!” Danny shrieked.

I grabbed blindly, caught the guy with the hockey stick by the ankle, and sent him to the ground. The other guy tried to get into the car, which started to drive away. A loud smashing noise startled all of us. Spock climbed out of his car, letting loose a long string of curse words. He yanked the driver out of the other car and stuffed the keys into his pocket before going after the other guy.

Danny decked the guy next to me just as Spock tackled the last guy. The driver was cowering on the ground next to the front ends of the smashed vehicles.

I groaned, and Danny crawled through the snow. “Oh, baby,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

“It’s like Nancy Kerrigan,” I muttered and spit blood. “My shoulder hurts.”

The sound of sirens wailed in the distance. Kenny rushed out of the arena, followed by CJ.

“Justin?” CJ yelled, running toward us. Danny stood up and blocked him.

“Who are these fucking assholes, CJ?” Danny shouted.

CJ paled when Danny ripped the black beanie off the guy who’d hit me with the hockey stick. Spock shoved the other guy to his knees in front of CJ.

“You ruined my fucking life,” hockey stick guy said.

“You were supposed to be my teammate, my friend,” CJ said softly.

“You ruined your own fucking life,” Danny snarled. “Teammates stick up for each other.”

“What about this guy?” Spock said as he dragged the driver of the car over to join the party.

“Cody?” CJ whispered. His face paled, and the light in his eyes dimmed. “How could you do this?”

Cody turned away from CJ and stared at the ground.

In minutes, the arena was swarming with people. An ambulance, four cop cars, my dad, Janae, a very angry Marina—who was currently shouting at the guy who hit me in the shoulder—and two EMTs hovering over me.

“I’m fine,” I grumbled as they poked, prodded, and shined a light in my eyes. They asked me a few goofy questions, which I answered with no trouble.

“You still need to go to the hospital so we can X-ray your shoulder,” the lady EMT said.

“I’m fine,” I repeated, holding the ice pack on my swollen cheek as she taped another ice pack to my shoulder.

“You’re going to the hospital,” my dad insisted. Marina had already pulled her car next to the ambulance. Arguing with them would be a total waste of time.

“I’m sorry, Justin,” CJ said. “I didn’t mean….”

He looked shattered, just like I’d looked the night I’d gotten the news about my mother’s death.

The cops led CJ away from me, telling him they had more questions.

Danny helped me into Marina’s car, telling me he had to go down to the station.

“Can you make sure CJ is okay?” I asked.

He nodded and patted the roof of the car when he closed the door. Marina said nothing on the way to the hospital.

After being poked, photographed, and prodded again, the doctors said I had a giant bruise on my shoulder and a scrape on my cheek. Nothing was broken, but it fucking hurt and was going to keep me from doing jumps and spins for a few days.

The cops were waiting to take my statement. I sighed and carefully went through everything that happened. Marina finally had enough and snapped at the cops about me needing rest. I think she scared them.

She brought me home, giving me a careful hug as Janae rushed to help me up the stairs.

“My legs aren’t broken,” I said. She went all protective mama bear on me. I frowned at her and told her to go to bed.

“I’m fine, Janae,” I snapped.

Danny pulled into the driveway before we were in the house.

“Is CJ okay?” I asked immediately.

“He’s fine physically, but he looks haunted. He’s not saying much. Your dad stayed with him at the police station.”

Danny pulled me into a gentle hug, and I sagged against him. He led me upstairs and helped me get ready for bed.

“I’ll sleep in my old room,” he said.

“I’m freezing,” I mumbled. He didn’t say another word, just climbed into bed and let me settle against his chest.

The demons were packed into my room like the rows of DVDs that lined my shelves. I seemed to be adding to my collection again. I sneered at them and told myself this meant nothing.