Nothing Tastes As Good (Cupcake Goddess) (3 page)

“You need to eat more,” her personal trainer said over and over.

“If I do, I’ll gain weight. I can’t gain the weight back.”

“It’s not healthy, Kate. There’s no point being thin if you’re not healthy.”

She shrugged it off. “You don’t understand. I have to lose more weight.”

What started as a little something she was doing for herself to get healthier had turned into an obsession. Mostly because of her new boyfriend, Marcus. She’d met him at the gym and one thing had lead to another. Soon they were practically living together.

At first he’d encouraged her. “You’re doing awesome. Way to go! Have you tried Pilates? Maybe you should use more weight machines.”

Then it had turned into something else. He’d gone through her food diary. “You had a latte today. You know you shouldn’t be drinking those.”

“It was fat free. Less than 100 calories. I counted it on my daily intake.”

“You need to make better choices. How long were you in the gym today?”

“What does that matter?” Kate had been furious. Why was it his business?

“I’m just trying to help you,” he said as though he knew everything there was to know about fitness and health, and as if she was an idiot who needed her hand held.

“I’m doing fine. I need your support. Not your judgmental attitude.”

“I just don’t want you gaining the weight back.”

“Why?” Kate asked. “What does it matter as long as I’m healthy? I’m still the same person no matter what the size.”

Marcus made a face. “Fat people aren’t attractive. Would you be attracted to me if I gained twenty pounds?”

“Of course I would. I love you for more than just your body.”

Marcus rolled his eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t. So if you gain weight, I’m leaving you.”

Even though she told herself she wasn’t doing this for him, those words hit home. Kate became more obsessed than ever.

And then came the car accident, and along with it a broken leg and a cast. The doctor had told her to stay off it. No trips to the gym. No working out.

Despite watching her diet carefully, the pounds crept back on. Slowly at first, then faster. It was like a freight train she couldn’t stop.

The day she got her cast off was the day Marcus dumped her. “Frankly, you turn me off,” he’d said. “I can’t stand all the rolls of fat. You’re disgusting.”

He’d left her over a ten pound weight gain.

After that, she gained thirty more.

* * *

Durty Nelly’s was heaving again, but this time Kate strode in on a pair of ridiculously high heels with all the confidence and grace she’d been lacking before. Plenty of male heads turned her way, eyeing her like she was some kind of juicy steak.

Fury stabbed her in the gut. How dare they look at her like that? They were the same men who’d completely ignored her or made fun of her as Fat Kate and now they were acting like she was the hottest thing since sliced bread and they couldn’t wait to take a bite. She was startled by how angry that made her. She was the same person, dammit. Was she only worthy of being acknowledged as a human being because she was skinny?

One of the men had the temerity to approach her, but her snarl sent him scurrying back to his drunken friends. They all laughed at him, teasing him for daring to approach a woman so out of his league.

Kate hesitated. Out of his league? Really? Holy heck.

Her smile restored, Kate scanned the room for her date. He was sitting at the same table with the same drink in front of him. And one for her.

“Kyle.” As she approached the table he stood just like the gentleman he was.

“Kaitlyn.” He extended his hand, but his smile was only a small one and there was a distinct lack of warmth in his eyes, unlike their last date. The one he didn’t know they’d been on. “Nice to meet you. I ordered you a drink.”

“Amaretto and cola, my favorite.”

“That’s so strange.”

She glanced up from her drink. “What is?”

He shook his head. “Never mind. It’s nothing. I just know someone else with the same favorite drink.”

For a moment Kate’s entire body froze. “Really? How…odd. Who is it?”

“Just this woman I know, Kate.” Kyle shook his head. “It’s nothing. Lots of people have the same favorite drinks.”

“Sure.” But inside Kate was shaking. Her. He was talking about her. Kate. The real Kate. Fat Kate.

Her mind spun back to her last meeting with Branwen. What had the woman said? Something about there being one person who would remember the real Kate, and that when she found him, she’d better pay attention.

Kyle obviously remembered their first date and he clearly remembered Fat Kate. It was equally clear he didn’t realize that Skinny Kate was the same person. Either she’d done a damn good job on her dating profile, or Branwen had messed with his brain.

“Hey, listen, you want to get out of here? Get something to eat?” Kyle asked.

“Uh, sure.”

“I know a great place just down the Riverwalk.”

They chatted as they walked, about the latest scifi movie, who made a better Batman, and various other geeky things. Kate felt herself loosening up, laughing. Kyle was charming and she found herself having a great time.

The little Mexican place overlooked the water. It was the perfect spot for a date. Casually romantic. Nothing over the top. It was also one of Kate’s favorite eateries on the Riverwalk, but when it came time to order, she froze. She loved tamales, burritos, quesadillas, but her mantra kept playing over and over in her mind.

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

She was not about to give up this new, thin body. She couldn’t go back to old, Fat Kate. No way. She’d finally gotten the attention of the man of her dreams, she was not going back. When the waiter arrived she ordered chicken fajitas.

As they waited for their food to arrive, conversation turned more personal.

“What was it you did for a living again?” Kyle asked.

“I’m a dental hygienist.” She’d told him that before. Well, she was pretty sure she had. Wasn’t he listening?

“Oh, right. Weird.”

“Why is it weird?”

“Oh, it’s not. I mean it’s a weird coincidence. The woman I told you about, the one who likes the same drink you do, she’s a dental hygienist too.”

“Uh huh.”

“Is there something wrong with your food?”

“What do you mean?” Kate glanced down at her plate. Everything seemed fine.

“It’s just that you’re picking at your food. You should have said something and I’d have made them fix it.”

She’d left the tortillas alone and eaten the filling. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just that tortilla’s have a lot of calories. A girl’s gotta watch her figure, you know.” She gave a light laugh, but it was forced.

“I like a woman who enjoys her food.” He grimaced. “Sorry, that came out kind of rude, didn’t it? You’re right. It’s hard to maintain a slender figure.” He grinned. “That’s why I gave up and decided to enjoy life.”

Kate took a sip of water, swallowing back an angry retort. How dare he judge her? Didn’t he know how hard it was to stay thin? Heck, it had taken magic to get her here. This date was not turning out quite like she’d imagined.

“What do you do for fun and excitement?” she asked. Hopefully a change of subject would get them back on track.

Kyle shrugged, “Nothing much. I like scifi movies, as you know. Old black and white ones. I like to travel and try new foods. The usual stuff. You? I read in your profile you like to skydive, hike, and paraglide. Sounds kind of tiring.”

How on earth did she admit she’d actually done none of those things? “Well, I do have calmer hobbies. For instance, I make my own Castile soap. You know, with olive oil. I like to add different herbs and essential oils to make different scents. I usually just give them away as presents, but sometimes I sell a few online. I don’t make much, but it’s enough to buy a bottle of wine now and then.”

“That is really strange.”

She frowned. “What is?”

“That woman I was telling you about? She has the exact same hobby.”

That was it. She’d had enough. “Why do you keep bringing this woman up? If you’re so enamored of her, why aren’t you on a date with her instead of me?”

“Because she isn’t interested. I don’t blame her. She’s totally out of my league.” There was sadness in his expression which only made Kate angrier.

“So, what, I’m second best? How dare you ask me out when you’re obviously hung up on someone else.” It wasn’t fair, and she knew. She’d been the one who’d run out on him. She’d been the one who had deleted her profile so he had no way to contact her. She’d been the one to pretend to be someone she wasn’t just to impress him. And it obviously wasn’t working.

“If you’ll recall, you’re the one who pretty much badgered me to ask you out. And you know what,” Kyle stood up throwing his napkin onto the table, “you’re right. I shouldn’t be out with you.” He threw some bills on the table alongside the napkin. “I’m sorry. You seem like a nice person and I thought we had some things in common, but…” He shook his head. “Good luck, Kaitlyn. You’ll find the right person for you, but it isn’t me. I should be finding Kate and convincing her that we could be good together.” And with that he strode from the table.

Kate sat there staring at his retreating form in shock. ”Wait! Kyle, I’m…”

But it was too late. He was gone.

* * *

“Branwen! Branwen!”

Branwen awoke to a pounding on her door which matched the pounding in her head. Tiffany had thrown another magnificent party which had resulted in an overindulgence of Irish car bomb cupcakes. Tiffany had sworn the alcohol got baked out of the cupcake. She hadn’t mentioned that the frosting was pretty much loaded.

“I’m coming. Geez.” Branwen staggered to the door and fumbled with the locks. “Kate. What are you doing here?”

“I need your help.”

Branwen stared at the slender girl, at her red rimmed eyes and the streaks of mascara running down her cheeks. No matter her size, Kate was obviously not a pretty crier. “Come in. I’ll put the coffee on. You might want to wash your face.” Branwen waved in the general direction of the bathroom.

A few minutes later they were seated at the kitchen table with steaming cups of coffee. Kate looked marginally more human. Branwen felt marginally more human. Or more goddess. Whatever. Though she was swearing off cupcakes for at least the next twenty-four hours.

“Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m confused.” More tears streaked down Kate’s gaunt face.

Oh, boy. Branwen loved this part. “What are you confused about?”

“I thought being thin would make everything perfect.”

“Didn’t it?”

Kate shook her head, her dark hair spilling over her shoulders. “Oh, no. Shopping is just as big a nightmare at size 2 as it was at size 16.”

Branwen snorted. “I coulda told you that.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Go on.” She gave an airy wave.

“Um, all these guys that used to ignore me or make fun of me suddenly think I’m hot. They all want to…to…well, you know.”

Branwen repressed a laugh. “Yeah, I get the picture. What’s the problem?”

“It pisses me off!” There was so much anger in Kate’s voice it took Branwen aback for a moment.

“I see.”

“Do you? Really? I mean these guys
mocked
me. They treated me like I was less than human all because I weighed a few extra pounds more than they thought I should. And now, just because I’m thin, they suddenly like me. I’m the same person!” Kate slammed her fist down on the table, sloshing coffee over the rim of her mug. “Oh, sorry,” she said, mopping it up with her napkin.

“Don’t even worry about it.” Branwen patted her hand. She had a lot of sympathy for this girl. She knew what it was like for the world to think you were beautiful. She also knew what it was like when they didn’t. Unfortunately Kate had gotten a lot more of the latter than the former. Which kind of sucked.

“And you know what’s worst of all? I went on a date with this guy I totally like and all he could talk about was me.”

Branwen frowned. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“No, I mean the fat me.”

“Now I’m confused. This is Kyle we’re talking about, right?”

“Yes.” Kate blew her nose into her napkin.

“So, you went on a date with him in your current form.”

Kate nodded. “Yes. I was sure he’d like me once he saw me skinny, but it was like he remembered me. The me from before. And I think…”her eyes widened in shock. “I think he liked the old me better.”

This time Branwen couldn’t help the wide grin that crossed her face. “Of course he did. You think every man wants a skinny girl? Don’t be daft. Kyle happens to like a girl with a little meat on her bones. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.” She got up and rummaged in the cupboard for some cupcakes. Maybe she could eat just one.

“But our first date was horrible.”

“Was it?” Branwen placed a plate of vanilla-and-cherry cupcakes in front of Kate. “Here have a cupcake. Why was it so bad? Was it because he was a mean, nasty ogre who didn’t like you? Or was it because you let your lack of self-confidence get the better of you, and ran away before you gave him a chance?”

“Well, then, he obviously only likes me for my size,” Kate said stubbornly.

Branwen rolled her eyes. “Now you
are
being an idiot. He was perfectly willing to give it a chance and you two were having a great time when you were being yourself. But you thought that wasn’t good enough and you had to pretend to be something you weren’t. Sky diving? Really?”

Kate flushed with embarrassment. “It sounded more exciting.”

“Kyle liked who you were as well as what you looked like. What made you think he wanted some balls-to-the-wall action girl? You didn’t give him a chance the first time, and you gave him less of one the second.”

A slight flush stained Kate’s cheeks. “He’s so cute and funny and smart. I just couldn’t believe he would want someone like me.”

“Why wouldn’t he? You’re smart. And funny. And you both like cheesy scifi movies and travelling and food. That’s a start.”

“Yeah, but…”

“But nothing. Look in the mirror.” Branwen whipped a mirror out of thin air (one of her little party tricks) and handed it to Kate. “Look good and hard. What do you see?”