My Soul to Save (Soul Keeper) (18 page)

Nothing about him says he would hurt me or that they’ve morphed him into some sort of monster. Sam’s face pops into my head as a reminder that I’m someone else’s girlfriend, well sort of. I removed the label, but deep in my heart I’m still his girlfriend. I’m the monster, once again, in love with two people.

“Please Elijah, I need to know what you’re going through.”

“Love, I don’t want you to worry about me, the worst is over for now.”

‘Oh God, what did they do to you. I feel terrible. This is all my fault. If only I had obeyed Nehemiah.”

“No Brennen. He was the one who was wrong. He told me so himself. Your plan would have worked. You don’t have to stay with Sam, he will still fulfill his destiny even if you’re just his friend.

My feelings overwhelm me at the thought of breaking up with Sam for good. “Except now you really love him, don’t you?”

The dam bursts and I break down in his arms as he holds me. His arms, tender but strong, just like I remember. All the times he's held me in these arms gave me such comfort.

"Elijah, how did our lives get so impossibly twisted?”

“Ask yourself this, do you love me?”

“You know I do.”

“Then the rest is just details.”

“What about Sam?” I wonder aloud.

“Nehemiah says for the next ten years, you are hardly going to see him.”

“He’s applying to school here in the spring.”

“Either way you’ll hardly see him. Yale is two and half hours away.”

“Elena and Inara won’t let me near you.”

‘They’ll come around.”

“It’s wrong.”

“Does this feel wrong?” He lays a kiss over me so pure and sweet, a song could be heard in the heavens.
 

“Yes Elijah, it does. God knows I want you, but I love Sam and I won’t betray him again. Let that kiss be goodbye.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’ve never been so unsure of anything in my whole life. But I know that you’re stronger than me. You never stopped being my Keeper. You have to be my strength in this.”

“You’re my weakness. Now if I have to give you a good bye kiss, let this one be the memorial.  He pins me up against the tree and eases over my body. Heat is radiating off of him like a furnace on a meltdown. He kisses the base of my neck, sighs a hot breath into my ear, and sucks my earlobe into his mouth pressing into me with his slacks.

His lips cover mine and I drink him in. Wave over wave, I’m drowning with him in this moment, never wanting to breathe again if I could keep this ecstasy from ending. His hands are everywhere I need t
hem to be. He emits a moan from somewhere deep inside releasing the tightrope inside me, unraveling it by the mile. No one will ever touch my soul the way he does.

My legs weaken beneath me and Elijah’s powerful arms lift me around his waist. I want to give in, yell uncle, and beg him to take me right here under the star filled sky. But his kiss finally begins to ebb, drawing the gate to a close. His hands ease my body down and hold me so close, I wonder if part of my soul is attached to his. As far as my heart’s concerned, it is. 

Elijah walks me back to my dorm. I sit on the front steps not wanting to let him go just yet. The air has tuned cold and Elijah sits beside me warming me with his body.

“Where will you go tonight?”

“I have a place nearby.”

“How is that you’re out and about? Do they have you on a mission?”

“I don’t want to say.” He rubs his head as though he were trying to remove dried paint.

“I need to know Elijah. We all have to be able to trust you. You yourself told me not to trust you if you ever came back.”

“I know full well what I told you.” He glances around as if we were being watched. I get up growing more uneasy by the second.

“Better get inside. We’ll discuss things another time.”

All holy hell breaks loose when I walk through the door at three in the morning. The sheer look of shock on Elena's face when I walk in is worth millions. I'm sure she thought I was Lexi completing a walk of shame, not her highly guarded ward.

"What on Earth were you thinking? Where were you? You planned this? I'm going to strangle you. Come here." She charges after me. The walls rumble so hard I fear this entire antique of a building will crash down around our ears. Oh shit. Inara grabs her arms and holds her back.

"Elena take it easy, she's safe, she's home. No harm done," Inara eases out like she were attempting to soothe a ravenous wildebeest.

Elena flicks Inara off like a gnat and leaps over the sofa, gunning for me. I rush through my bedroom door and lock it. She blips into my room of course, because she can. I back into the dresser and Lexi's shrine of spirit sticks rattle onto the hard wood floor sending bedazzlements scattering everywhere.

"What's going on?" Lexi mumbles out half asleep. A knock on the front door stops everyone.

"Elena's on to us."

Another desperate knock rattles the door. Inara eases the door open and finds Grays' own proctor, looking none too pleased. Asher Kennedy gawks at the lot of us wearing nothing but a half closed robe and slippers on his feet. I'm sure all of our eyes are bulging out of our heads, not just my own, because he quickly recovers his robe and clears his throat.

"Ladies, is there a problem in here? There are people at Grays that would prefer a good night’s sleep before their seven a.m. class."

"Sorry Ash, late night pillow fight." I nail Elena in the face with a heavy down pillow as I walk past her. She beams it right back to my head as if she had attached a rocket launcher.

"Sorry to trouble you," Inara offers.

"Thanks for the show Ash. Can't wait for the sequel
," Lexi calls out practically purring.

"Got to see it in 3-D first babe," Asher is quick to bounce back with. Inara practically slams the door in his face.

I yawn out, "Can I go to bed or are you done trying to murder me?"

"We'll talk about this in the morning, after Lexi goes to class."

I change into a silk camisole and shorts and slide under my sheets. A subtle reminder of Elijah's scent lingers in my hair. I bury my nose in it and worry if I can really give him up.

*~*~*

Elena and Inara fly over me as I take my morning run, my earbuds pump out a thought-drowning rhythm as I go. If I think about how much I desire to be with Elijah and how I just told him to keep a ten foot pole between us, I'll lose it all over the sidewalk. Instead, I focus on my feet pounding on the asphalt, steady my breathing, and embrace the burn. Before I know it, I've gone five miles. I take a deep breath and head back.

I spot Elijah leaning against the same white oak we met at last night. He gives me a wink and flashes me that killer smile, distracting me enough so that my toe catches on a piece of raised concrete and sends me flying.

Inara grabs hold of me with my skull only centimeters from the pavement. I glance up and he’s gone.

“Are you okay?” She asks, setting me back on two feet.

“Yes, thanks. That would have been bad.” I’m a bit surprised Elijah didn’t try and help me. Then again, Elena would probably blip me to a new time zone as soon as she spotted him.

*~*~*

"Can we discuss last night now?" Elena asks as I come out of the bathroom after a quick shower.

“Only if you listen to me with an open mind.”

Her nostrils flare out like a bull in the cinch. I proceed anyway. “I spotted Elijah at the party and I had to see him. With my memories fully returned, seeing him in the flesh… Well you yourself knew what our love was like. You had to know I couldn’t stay away. He’s the same you know. Whatever they did to him didn’t change him. You don’t have to worry.” She closes her eyes and shakes her head.

“They’ve given him an assignment, it’s the only way he’s even on our plane of existence. Did he tell you what he’s doing here?”

“No.”

“Well you can bet your life that it has to do with you.”

“Elijah would lock himself in the lead box and have you hand deliver it to Pluto, before he’d hurt me.”

“Maybe, but I can’t take that risk.” She shoves her hands deep in her sweater pockets and paces the floor. “But I also know you. You won’t give up on him until your dead and gone.”

“Elena, with your help, we can get Elijah through his redemptions quickly and then there will be nothing to worry about.” She stares out of the large picture window for a while.

“What choice have you given me?” she says dryly.

I run up to her and throw my arms around her. “Thank you. Thank you.” I kiss her cheek and she smiles.

“I have one condition.”

“What?” I ask. She turns to face me.

“Until he is redeemed, you must never be alone with Elijah again. No sneaking out behind our backs.”

“Fine, but you’ll see, he’s really good.”

“Or love is really blind.”

“I’m with Sam, Elijah and I
are going to stay friends.”

“That’ll be the day.” She chuckles while walking off.

I walk through the yard to Annenberg, the dining hall, to meet Lexi for lunch. The grandness of the room leaves me feeling insignificant in comparison. Walnut covered walls soar up to meet gothic arches of carved wood. Light filters in through stain glass windows and oversized chandeliers hang in rows over each half of the room. I swipe my student I.D card and grab a tray.

I take a bowl of clam chowder and hit the salad bar, finding Lexi and Jesson cozied up next to the croutons.

“Easy with the bacon bits there girl. Friends don’t let friends devour pork like it’s illegal.”

“Brennen! You’re alive. I was so worried. Jesson led me to believe I’d never see you again.” Lexi bounces a hug to my waist. Her ponytail is secured high on her head, complete with a crimson bow.

“Did he? He should know that I always worm my way out of life or death situations.” We take our seats at an empty table, Jesson sitting beside Lexi. He is so not her type. She likes the rare combo of brains and body, which around here there’s no shortage of. Jesson’s still got brains, but his slight build just won’t get it done at the end of the day. Then again, he’s probably only using her to stick close to me, just like he did to Emily.

“So explain to me why you had to ditch our roommates last night. Don't get me wrong, it was fun, but why were they stalking you in the first place?”

“Oh it’s just some silly game for a sorority we’re think of joining. I won, so maybe I’ll get in and they won’t, just don’t tell anyone okay. People might think it were a form of hazing or something. It’s more of a scavenger hunt.”

“Oh that sound like fun, why didn’t you tell me? I would have pledged with you.”

“Oh sorry, it’s by invitation only. But once I’m in then I can tell them all about you.”

Jesson gives a sideways glance at just how far I go with my tall tales. But he of all people should know how crazy the truth would sound to a human. I laugh at how explicit reality would sound.

Elena was trying to kill me
, because I risked the lives of billions to rendezvous with my ex-boyfriend who I’m still madly in love with, and whom may or may not be under the influence of Satan. I had to throw Elena off the trail for hours, because she can time travel and drag me off to other worlds where my own mother, a Seraphim High angel, would brand me a failure.
No thanks, I’ll stick with my lies.

“Well I have to get to the library. I’ll see you later.” Lexi chimes out sounding way too happy as usual.  I smirk at Jesson who doesn’t get included in Lexi’s good bye.

“She’s adorable but chill, I’m into someone else too.”

“Oh really, naming any names?”

“What would be the fun in that?” He grins back. I shake my head.

"Well don't even go there with Lexi after you broke poor Emily's heart. Now, what d
id you find out about Elijah?”

H
e shoots me a furtive glare. “He’s a hard one to read, but I can tell they did a number on him. Let me ask you this, what was he wearing when you saw him?”

“Why, do you need some fashion advice?”

He lowers his lids as he smiles. “Was he covered up?”

“He was in dress clothes, slacks, long sleeves and a slick power tie. Why?”

“Same reason I’m always in long sleeves and pants.” He pulls his sleeves up and faint scars mar his porcelain skin. It looks as though he stumbled into a bread slicer. My fingers trace the lines up his forearm. He winces as if reliving the moment they were inflicted and grabs my hand.

“Sorry I’m not used to being touched, by anyone.” Jesson looks up at me with his icy blue eyes so clearly wounded that I want to wrap him up in a blanket and rock him to sleep.

“Jesson, we have to get him out of there.”

“We will Brennen, I promise.”

“But right now what’s more important is finding out why he’s out now, and why he’s here.”

“Agreed.” I sigh out. Jesson walks me with me to our shared math class. All of my courses are challenging but manageable, especially when I can sneak off to Amorous for a few days and take my time studying and relaxing. I’ll only miss a few hours here, which is exactly what I plan on
doing this weekend. How these non-angelic people do it, I will never know. After class, Jesson escorts me and the girls back to Grays Hall.

I wish I could take Elijah with me to the In-Between, relive the extraordinary weekend we spent there what seems like years ago. How can I relive that time without also thinking about hold Sam’s lifeless body in my arms? His cold blue lips not breathing in any life-giving air. Elijah’s last redemption is to save him all over again, but will he? Oh God, with Sam being the only thing standing in our way, will he?

My legs grow weak and I take a seat on a nearby bench. My breaths start to come fast and short and the lines of my world begin to blur in and out of focus.

The three of them call my name. “She’s hyperventilating.”

“Brennen, slow down and breathe baby.”

Elijah?

My body obeys just to please him. His face begins to come in to focus as I steady my breaths. He cradles my head in his arms. Three other faces crowd in around his and I bat my eyes several times smiling at the four of them, concern etched on each of their foreheads.

“What happened?” Elijah asks. I can’t tell him the truth.
What’s wrong with you? Of course you can tell him the truth
, my subconscious blasts.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. But I’m okay now.” I stand up and wobble a bit. All hands reach out to catch me. “Guys, I’m fine really.” Jesson studies Elijah who is dressed in a wool pea coat and dark jeans.  “Why don’t we grab some dinner?”

“Yes Elijah why don’t you join us, we can catch up on what’s been going on in your world.” The tension in the air is so thick, jello would be envious. Knots twist in my stomach at how they look at him.

He clenches his jaw and swallows his pride. “Not here.” He subtly glances around the empty courtyard.

“Very well. Everyone grab hold.” I latch on to Elijah’s hand and Elena squeezes my arm. 

 
Inara and Jesson link to us and away we go. We land between two aged stucco buildings and I remember exactly where we are. Elena's favorite pizza place in Sicily. We walk down the cobbled brick street that leads to the tiny restaurant. Philippe greets Elena as she walks in with his usual gusto.

We have the whole place to ourselves after Philippe returns to the kitchen to make our food. Elijah shifts his weight in his chair and he glances from me to Elena.

"If you want to be in her life, then you'd better tell me everything." She places the tiniest lead box on the table that looks only big enough to hold a pair of earrings. All the cards are out. Elijah's still buttoned up in his coat, even though it's warm enough to bake bread in here.

"Where should I start Elena? The part where they tortured me for months until I no longer had any will to live. The part where they kept torturing me because they couldn't kill me no matter how hard they tried because I.
 Can’t. Die." Elijah rips off his coat and peels off his shirt revealing dozens of faint scars. It looks like a flash of lightening in the night sky lit up on his beautiful chest.

I want to cover him with my body, shield him from her prying eyes. I want to kiss every place he felt pain and wash the memory of it away. I wipe the tears from my eyes and Jesson hands me a napkin. Inara squeezes my hand.

"I'm more concerned with why they stopped Elijah. What did you agree to do for them?" Elijah glances up at me with a pained look in his eyes. He didn't agree to do anything to me, please don't let it be that, I pray the thought over and over in my head.

"It doesn't matter what I've agreed to do, I'm not doing it. I'm still me. I just have to make it look like I'm trying to obey them."

"Elijah tell me."

"I won't say it in front of her." Tears roll down his face. I've never seen him so upset before. His nose is red and his face soaked.

"She needs to know exactly who you are right now and what may be in store if she gets anywhere near you Elijah."

"Then no, I'll go. That would be better for her. But they'll send someone else to do it and you better be prepared for what's coming."

"No! You can't leave me again."

"You're not leaving Elijah. You can go in the box, but you're not leaving again. I won't have Brennen looking over her shoulder constantly."

"No, Elena stop this already. You're being a bully and I won't let you hurt him any worse than he's already been. Elijah won't hurt me."

"Elijah, tell me in private, the details of your order. Trust me enough to let me in. I've been in your shoes brother." Jesson puts his hand on Elijah’s arm and gives it a squeeze.

"Inara goes too. No offense Jesson, but it will be centuries before I fully trust you again." Elena says still barking orders like a drill sergeant. Elijah pulls his shirt back on and exits the building with them. I stare at Elena from across the table. She goes to say something and I stop her.

Only a few minutes go by and the three of them re-enter the restaurant and take their seats, their expressions grim. If he can't bring himself to tell me then it must be bad. The very worst thoughts run through my mind, nevertheless at the end of the day I trust this man with my life. Of course, I'll find out eventually because I hate being left out of any secret that involves my wellbeing. I can see it brimming in Jesson's eyes, he's dying to tell me.

"Moving on, do you have any idea how you’re going to go about finding the thirty-five souls to save from a plane crash?" I ask as I grab a slice of pizza from the pan. All eyes point to Elijah who looks as if he just came from my funeral.

"Can I have a moment with Brennen alone? Or at least away from ear shot."

"You need to get used to having me around Elijah or the deals off," Elena mouths off.

"I'll remember that Elena, thank you for pointing out that our lifelong friendship means nothing now that I've lost my white wings."

"Tell me Elijah, if you were in my position, what would you do?"

"Enough arguing please,
” I cry out. "This is why we have to figure out the second redemption. We have to get him out of their hands and then none of this will matter. It has to be our first priority."

"Brennen's right. This weekend we'll all go to Amorous and see if Emmagen has come up with anything new. We can also have Nehemiah take a look."

"What's going on with Nehemiah anyway? Is he going to go back to his old job now?"

"Heaven's no child. Nehemiah has been reassigned to the lowest rank of Keeper there is. You might say he's now the equivalent of a Wal-Mart greeter
," Inara chuckles at her own humor.

"That's awesome. I hope they make him wear a smiley face sticker while doing it
," I say gaining a smile from Elijah's lips. That's more like it.

"Elijah you have to try the pizza. It's so good." Jesson shakes his head. Elijah turns away again.

"He can't eat or drink anything."

"Or what
, he'll turn into a Gremlin after midnight?"

"It's how they get them to come back. It's the one order they can't disobey."

"So you have to check in if you want a meal?"  I ask. That's horrible, but he shrugs it off like it's no big deal. I remember the cafe Elijah and I went to in Amorous, and how everyone was served a simple meal together.

"Food is not as much of a sustenance for our kind as it is for a human body. We enjoy the fellowship of a meal more than the bread itself.
We still feel hunger, but He nourishes our body." Elena says quietly. Elijah doesn’t have that luxury anymore. I drop my pizza back on the plate, suddenly losing my appetite knowing he’s in pain. She continues, "It's sort of like breathing, we can live without oxygen but the habit of breathing in and out is impossible to stop."

"Well isn't that special."

I stand up and take Elijah's hand leading him outside. Elena goes to follow me but Jesson puts his hand over her arm gently. I owe him one, or more like five, he's turning out to be a great friend.

Elijah buries his nose in my neck and hugs me. "God, I'm so sorry for all of this." I can feel his hot tears on my neck. It's a side of him I've never seen before and I know I will do whatever it takes to save him.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"You have to know I won't do what they want me to do. However, I will make them think that I am following their orders so that I can protect you."

"I trust you. What do I need to do to help keep up the facade?" He takes my face in his hands and I know he longs to kiss me again.

"You just have to trust me and they'll be none the wiser." A smile blooms over both of our faces. I see Jesson fondly watching me through the window. He quickly turns around and starts up in conversation with Inara. I’m beginning to wonder if
I’m
the “someone else” he has his eye on.

The rest of our party joins us outside and we head back to the yard. A yawn escapes my mouth. The setting sun loses itself in the amber leaves, casting out a romantic filter over the whole
length of the yard. It's a view that I've grown to love almost as much as my ocean front. However, the very best view is the man admiring me from two feet away.