Midwife in a Million (4 page)

Rory looked up at her again through the mirror and, while his face remained serious, his sincerity shone through. ‘That’s why you’re with her. I’ve got faith in you. And I bet Lucy does too. Everything will be fine.’

It was a platitude. An attempt to ease her strain. He was a very experienced paramedic and ambulance officer, a professional at calming people in stressful and extreme situations.

And it was the phrase he’d said to her many times over the years in her hours of need.

That first day at school…As the boss’s daughter, she’d been left alone and lonely until big Rory McIver from Year Two took her hand and showed her where she could sit. ‘Everything will be fine,’ he said and something in his eyes and the caring tone of his voice allowed her to believe him.

That week her mother and stillborn baby brother died…When everyone else avoided her, not knowing what to say. When her father banned her from a final
farewell at the funeral and Rory sought her out and held her and helped her make a special garden with a wooden cross where she would go to talk to her mother that no one else knew about. ‘Everything will be fine,’ he said.

Rory, listening the hundreds of times she was upset by her father’s uncompromising stand on her behaviour and mixing with the hired help. He was always able to reassure her. Big things became manageable when she told Rory.

Now here he was, doing it again. The funny thing was, while she knew it was a platitude, his words and the memories of the past times he’d said it did make her feel better. He was right. Worrying would achieve nothing; she would do the right things and be prepared as best she could. Now he was doing it again and she wondered if he realised. She couldn’t help the warmth of her smile because it was tied in with so many good memories she shared with him.

‘Thanks, Rory.’

She saw his surprise, shock even, because she’d been sincere in her gratitude. Kate thought about that. For the first time she began to wonder how Rory felt about seeing her after all this time. She wasn’t the only one who had memories. It put a whole new complexion on her behaviour towards him and didn’t help her to keep her distance.

This wasn’t good. She couldn’t go there, begin impossible dreams or resurrect old emotions that could overwhelm her. She hastily shut the thoughts down.

‘You’re welcome,’ he said, but this time he kept his eyes on the road and she was glad!

A short while later Lucy moaned again and Kate glanced at her watch before sliding her hand down to confirm the contraction. Fifteen minutes since the last one.

R
ORY
so wanted to ease the lines of worry above Kate’s eyes, smooth her brow and tell her again that everything would be fine, but she was the expert here and she wouldn’t thank him for further interference.

Why he’d imagined he’d need to put himself through this torment when it was plain she didn’t give a hoot about him, except to be vaguely irritated by his presence, he had no idea.

Had he needed to come back here and get it rubbed in his face in person? Hadn’t the letter been enough? And the return of his ring? He must be a masochist. She’d told him ten years ago she didn’t love him any more.

He just needed to get this trip over, Lucy to safety, and he’d never see Kate Onslow again. It wasn’t as if Jabiru Station was anywhere near his normal world now.

He’d pulled himself up from nothing in his pro
fession, had been promoted almost every year without pause until he was one step away from the top job. He had no need to feel like the hired hand he’d been ten years ago. It seemed he couldn’t remove the stigma her father had left him with until he was an unqualified success. Until he had the one job that proved he was the best.

His appointment as Deputy Commissioner came into place in a week. After the closest battle between him and a more experienced officer, a family man who a lot of people said should have got the job, but the board had chosen wonder kid Rory because he’d promised them one hundred and ten per cent commitment.

Then, inexplicably, he’d wavered after reading an article saying that Kate’s father was sick, and suddenly he’d needed to finish what lay between them. He’d promised the service he’d be back. He wished he’d never left Perth. Had turned back.

‘I’m wondering if we should turn back.’ Kate’s voice intruded, almost as if she’d said out loud what he’d been thinking.

She was talking to herself and he didn’t know whether to offer an opinion or not. Then she said something he hadn’t expected. ‘Rory? Have you ever seen a baby born?’

He dragged his mind away from his regrets and considered her question. ‘Of course. And read the textbooks.’

She nodded but he could see she wanted more. ‘When?’ she asked.

‘Last year. Just a couple of city babies in a hurry. All I had to do was catch and keep warm till hospital. But it’s your area and your call, Kate.’

Rory remembered the cries of the woman, the fear in her face and the imploring way those eyes had begged him to relieve her pain. Apart from the methoxy’ for her to breathe, there hadn’t been a lot he could do except hold her hand. No, he wasn’t comfortable with it but he’d cope.

Rory divided his concentration between negotiating the potholes and corrugations of the dirt track and Kate’s face in the mirror. He had nothing helpful to add. She knew better than he the limitations distance imposed on keeping Lucy and her tiny baby safe.

She chewed those full lips of hers and he dragged his eyes back to the road. He remembered when he’d first noticed she did that. Always when she was worried. It had been when they’d started dating. And he’d kiss her to make her stop.

‘It’s hard to call it,’ she said, and he concentrated on the red dust in front, anything to drag his eyes away from the damage she was causing. It seemed she needed to sound out her concerns and he was fine to listen.

‘If we go back to Jabiru Township and Lucy doesn’t go into proper labour until tomorrow or the next day, then I’ve placed her baby at a disadvantage.’
She shook her head. ‘This baby should be born at a level three nursery at least because, prem or starved, it will need watching.’

‘No one said your job was easy, Kate.’

He heard her sigh. ‘In an ideal world I’d like an ambulance with neonatal staff to meet us somewhere halfway if she goes into labour. I’m no expert on sick babies. I’m a birthing girl.’

He could hear the extra tension in her voice as she wondered out loud. ‘Maybe they could fly in and meet us at one of the bigger stations, perhaps?’

He thought about it. ‘Maybe.’ But he knew she wasn’t finished.

‘This is Lucy’s first baby—surely we’d have enough time for that?’ She sounded more sure.

To Rory that seemed sensible. ‘We could phone them.’

‘How?’ She shook her head and he saw again the depth of her concern. ‘There’s no phone coverage out here, unless you have a magic callbox in your pocket.’

He pulled his satellite phone from the glove compartment and waved it so she could see it. ‘Boys toys. One of the perks of my job.’

She glared at him and it was queer how even that was endearing. ‘How disgusting that you have a satellite phone in the city,’ she said, ‘and the clinic doesn’t have one out here where the need is real.’

Technically, it wasn’t a perk. He’d paid for it himself so he could be reached anywhere for his job.
And she didn’t need to know that he could easily afford it, but he made a mental note to anonymously donate one to Jabiru Township when he got back to Perth.

‘Do you want me to connect you now and you can talk?’

She shook her head and he suspected she might even be a little ashamed of her outburst. ‘I’ll wait. Now that I know we can get advice I can sit until Lucy definitely goes into labour.’

‘No problem.’

Her relief gave him an insight into the responsibilities of someone in her and Sophie’s job at Jabiru. Like a road ambulance crew, they’d have to make the hard decisions too, without the backup of a nearby hospital, manage emergencies and manage the same horrific injuries he did, but on their own until help could arrive, sometimes many hours or even days later.

At other times they’d need to encourage people to leave their homes and families and travel huge distances for their own safety, at sometimes great expense as well, and occasionally the worst wouldn’t happen. It made him realise his Kate was a big girl now.

Half an hour later Kate stared unseeingly as Lucy breathed in and out in her sleep and allowed her mind to drift until, unexpectedly, Rory slowed the truck and prepared to stop.

Kate peered through the windscreen to what lay ahead. At the side of the road a small but sprightly
white-haired lady waved them down from behind her camper van. She wrung her hands together as she waited for them to pull up and Kate’s stomach tightened. Not a mechanical breakdown, then?

The lady leaned in the front window as Rory pulled on the handbrake and Kate could see the glitter of tears on her wrinkled cheeks. Kate closed her eyes in dread.

‘You’re in an ambulance?’ The little woman sighed and shook her head. ‘Too late. How ironic.’

Kate was glad she wasn’t driving without Rory because he was out of his seat and beside the woman before Kate realised his door was open. She blinked and tried to work out how he’d done it. She guessed that was what ambos did all the time. Quick on the scene, quick to prioritise and assess, she’d never really appreciated that before. Rory would be very good at it.

‘How can I help you?’ Kate could hear the gentleness in Rory’s voice and, despite the woman’s suggestion that there was little they could do, he didn’t waste time until he confirmed it. He steered the woman back to her compact little van.

‘My husband.’ Kate could hear her careful enunciation, as if she spoke slowly the words would finally make sense. ‘I was driving. John went to sleep the last time we stopped. He said he was tired. But I didn’t know he’d never wake up again. He’s cold now. I didn’t even say goodbye.’

‘Can you show me?’ Rory said, still in that gentle, caring voice that brought tears to Kate’s own cheeks,
and she could just hear him murmuring sympathy as he went to confirm there was nothing they could do.

Kate glanced at Lucy, thankfully still asleep, and she hoped she wouldn’t wake if Kate climbed through to the front and out of the passenger door in case Rory or the new widow needed support.

Kate glanced at the empty road around them and tried to imagine what the lady had been thinking before they’d pulled up.

It wasn’t a common occurrence on the track but she’d heard of tragedies like this before and she wondered if her husband would have been happy to go like this. What type of sad courage would it take for his wife to drive all the way home to an empty house, wherever home was?

Kate chewed her lip and followed their stark footprints in the dust. She avoided looking at the van until the last moment and, when she did, she saw that it had a picture of a gaily painted wagon and the words ‘John and Jessie’s Jaunt’ written on the back.

She winced as Rory and Jessie climbed back outside.

‘There’s nothing you could have done. He looks very peaceful,’ Rory said, and he rested his arm around the woman’s shoulder as he drew her towards Kate. ‘This is Kate. She’s from the Hospital Clinic up at Jabiru Township.’

Jessie glanced at Kate and bit her lip as she tried not to cry. ‘Hello, Kate.’

‘Hello. Jessie, is it?’ Kate pointed to the painted names. ‘I’m so sorry. We can phone the Kununurra police station and they’ll meet you here as soon as they can.’

Jessie looked back at Rory. ‘Thank you, both of you, for your kindness but I’ll drive to the next town myself. They can meet me on the way. I’ve lived with this man all my life. I can drive now he’s gone to the next.’ She gave a watery smile. ‘He’ll be watching from above for the way I change the gears.’

Kate didn’t know what to say. ‘You do whatever feels right. Did you have any warning? Was your husband well?’ She wanted to leave Jessie with an opening if she needed to talk.

‘I thought he was.’ Jessie choked back a sob. ‘But he was in remission, and we’ve been having a wonderful time before the next set of treatment.’

‘It must be very hard for you,’ Kate said.

Jessie nodded and drew a deep breath. ‘At least I don’t have to watch him die slowly and painfully at home. When I get over the shock I’m sure his going will be a blessing.’ Her eyes filled. ‘But I will so miss him. Fifty years and he still made me laugh.’

Rory and Kate looked at each other over Jessie’s head. Imagine a relationship like that! It seemed they were both thinking the same thing. As one they looked towards the van. How could they leave her alone with the body? ‘We’ll stay till the police get here,’ Rory said.

Jessie thought about it. ‘No. Thank you. I’ll be fine.’

Kate moved closer and slid her arm around Jessie so the widow was supported by both of them. ‘If we do go on, we’ll wait until you feel ready to drive. Would you like me to make you a cup of tea before we leave? I’ve a Thermos in the back I filled this morning.’

Jessie sniffed. ‘That would be nice.’ She lifted her chin. ‘And don’t you worry about me. There’s nothing for me to be afraid of. I’ll just say my goodbyes as we drive and the children will organise the rest when I call them.’

Rory used his phone for the police at Kununurra and he and Kate stayed for another ten minutes until Jessie drove off on her final journey with her husband.

‘She’s very brave,’ Rory said. ‘He looked a kind old gentleman.’

‘I’m glad. It’s almost fitting to drive the last drive with just the two of them.’

Rory watched the van disappear. ‘Would you do that?’

Kate looked away. ‘I’ll never be in that position.’

Kate sat in the back as the scenery flashed past. They passed another dust-swirling road train full of cattle and crossed two creeks but not much was said. No doubt Rory was as busy with his thoughts as she was with hers.

If she and Rory had still been together, they would be in their tenth year. So much time wasted wanting
the impossible and she should have been looking for someone like John to share her life with. Before it was too late. But it was too late. She was too scarred for any man.

Jessie had children to help carry the load and Kate had a gaping void where hers should have been.

‘What’s wrong, Kate?’ Rory’s intrusion into her thoughts only made it worse.

‘Nothing. Nothing you can help with.’ Kate sighed. It wasn’t Rory’s fault. He’d been a brick to drive her to Derby and she hadn’t really thanked him. In fact, she’d been hard on him and was lucky he was as even-tempered as he was.

She still didn’t know what he’d come back for, except to see her. She didn’t know how she felt about that, apart from terrified he’d break down the wall she’d hidden behind for so long. But he was right. There were things that needed to be said between them.

It was almost with relief that she heard Lucy moan because that put paid to worrying about either of them.

Lucy’s eyes flickered open and she pushed her hand down onto her stomach. ‘It hurts, Kate.’

Kate sat forward, even as her heart rate accelerated. A constant pain would be a dangerous sign. ‘Where does it hurt, Lucy?’

‘In here—’ Lucy rubbed her stomach down low ‘—and in my back. It comes and goes.’

Kate was relieved. Labour was not optimum, but for a horrible moment she’d thought Kate was going
to complain of severe headache or liver pain, or the signs of concealed haemorrhage—all ominous signs of internal damage from her hypertension.

Lucy screwed her face up and her eyes sought Kate’s. ‘What’s happening?’

‘I think you’re going into labour, Luce.’ She squeezed the young girl’s hand and Lucy clung to Kate’s fingers. ‘Why don’t you sit up straighter and get the weight off your back and side for a while?’

Lucy struggled into an upright position with Kate’s help, which wasn’t as tricky as it could have been because for the moment Rory had picked up speed and they flew along a freshly graded stretch of the road without the usual corrugations.

Lucy instinctively sighed a big breath out and her shoulders slumped; even her fingers loosened on Kate’s. ‘The pain’s going now.’ Her eyes sought Kate’s and her voice wobbled. ‘I’m starting to get scared. What if my baby is born out here on the road?’

Kate looked into Lucy’s eyes and willed her to take in Kate’s own faith in a woman’s ability to give birth. Something her midwifery had thankfully rein-stilled in her. Kate did believe that. Every woman’s body had it—except Kate’s, that was—but she wasn’t going there.

She spoke slowly so Lucy could absorb the message. ‘Your baby will be tough like his or her mother. Like you are. Have faith in your body, Lucy. Labour can take a long time and you’ll know if
you’re getting closer to the pointy end. We can’t do much about how your labour is going to work out here, just trust it, because everyone is different.’