MENDING FENCES (11 page)

            Maria felt tears well up in her eyes.  This was not going the way she hoped at all.  She knew it would be a hard conversation, but she thought that her parents were kind, forgiving people.  Surely they could find some compassion in their hearts to share with Eldon, even if they didn’t know his full story.

            “I, I was hoping you could speak with the elders, see what might be done about Eldon,” Maria tested.

            “You want me to go to the elders of the church and ask them to let this boy back in?” her father said, crossing his arms over his chest.

            Maria nodded, unsure as to what else she could say to convince him.

            “Has he forgiven?” he asked, going back to Eldon’s original offense.

            Maria lowered her head.  She and Eldon had talked about that.  Eldon was over it, that much was certain.  But she wasn’t sure he had ever fully forgiven his father.  He felt that his father owed him and especially his mother a heartfelt apology.  Eldon never received it and now that his father was gone, he never would.  Healing the old wounds was going to take time.

            “I’ll take that as a no,” her father said, pushing back from the table.  “I’m sorry, Maria, I just don’t know what I can really do.”

            Maria’s mother looked heartbroken.  She sat down at the table with such hope in her eyes.  The idea that her daughter had fallen in love with someone on the other side was nearly unspeakable and the thought that she might go out to the other world and not come back was unfathomable.  She had blindsided them with her news and there was no going back.

            “You have a decision to make,” her mother said and Maria could tell that she was making an effort to steady her voice.  “We will pray for you…that God may lead you on the right path.”

            The family joined hands around the table and prayed for Maria.  Her father prayed the God would lead Maria down the path of righteousness and her mother wept.

            Maria felt as if her heart was in a million shattered pieces.  Life within the community was all she had ever wanted.  Now that she knew what love was, however, she was not sure she could do without it.  She might find someone to love within the community, but she would always be comparing him to Eldon.  That wouldn’t be fair to either of them.  It was Eldon or no one.  Was Maria dooming herself to a life alone without a family of her own?  She didn’t want that either.  Maria was stuck and she had no way how to get out of the situation she had fallen into.

            By the next morning, Maria felt no better about her stance in life.  She loved the community life.  But she also loved Eldon.  She had no idea how she was going to reconcile the two factors.

            She rose early and was ready for the day’s work in the kitchen when she heard a light knock on the door.  Her mother answered and she heard soft conversation. By the time she made it to the front of the house, she could tell her mother was speaking with someone in the kitchen.  Maria rounded the corner, expecting a neighbor or family friend to be by looking for help with a project.  What she saw shocked her to her core.

            “Eldon!” she exclaimed, quickening her pace and throwing herself into his arms before she could stop herself.

            Eldon gave her a quick squeeze and then gently pushed her away.

            “Eldon came for a visit,” her mother said kindly.  “I think the two of you need to talk.  I’ll be in the communal kitchen, Maria.  When you are ready, you can join me there.”

            Maria gave her mother a grateful look and watched as she left.  Her father was already in the fields and her siblings were in other parts of the house preparing for their days.  She and Eldon were as alone as they could get within the community boundaries.

            “I wasn’t sure I’d see you again,” Maria said with relief.  After the discussion she had with her parents the night before, it was made clear that she had a choice to make.  Eldon or the community.  If she chose the community as she always thought she would, she would never see Eldon again.

            “When you didn’t show up at the shop yesterday morning, I knew you came home,” Eldon said.  “I thought I was okay with that, Maria.  I know you belong here.  I don’t want to interfere with your life or with the path you feel God is leading you down.”  Eldon spun his hat around in his hand.  “But when you didn’t show up, my heart felt…I don’t know…sick, I guess.  It was like I let you walk away because I was scared or something.  I couldn’t let you get away without making my case.”

            “Your case?” Maria asked.

            Eldon nodded.  “I love making furniture, Maria.  I know you saw that this last week.  But what I didn’t tell you was what I plan to do with the money that I make selling that furniture.”

            Maria frowned.  They had talked about nearly everything during their time together.  She was surprised that he left anything out.

            “It’s a big dream and I haven’t told anyone about it.  I wasn’t really sure it was something I could pull off alone and I don’t exactly have any help yet,” Eldon paused, looking deeply into Maria’s eyes as she felt a shiver go down her spine.  “I want to build a community,” he said with certainty.

            Maria squinted up at him.  “You mean like this one?” she asked.  Since Eldon wasn’t going to be accepted back into the community, Maria thought that he was perhaps trying to lure her away by building another one like it.

            “Not exactly,” he said, taking one of her hands in his and leading her to the table so they could sit.  “You know how misunderstood the Amish are,” he said as they looked at each other across the table.  “And you know how hard it is for some of the teens to go out on Rumspringa.  It’s even harder for those who choose to leave to make the adjustment.”

            Maria nodded, but she didn’t really know where Eldon was going with the whole thing.

            “I want to build a community in the outside world that teaches those who are interested more about the Amish lifestyle.  It won’t be an Amish community, per say, but it will have a lot of our ways.  People from the outside can come and stay for a week or a weekend and get a taste of the Amish life.  We would show them how to cook, tend the fields, make furniture and so on.  But the community wouldn’t be just for those on the outside,” Eldon paused, talking excitedly.  “It would be for the family we have back here too.  Any time someone is sent out on Rumspringa, they could spend a day or two there first to adjust.  We could teach them what to expect on the outside and then be there to walk them through the experience.”

            Maria liked the way the idea sounded.  It was something she really could have used had it been around when she went out into the world.

            “And,” Eldon continued, his eyes lighting up before her, “I know that not many people who are born and raised within the community ever leave, but those who do have quite a struggle ahead of them.  And not just Amish from here, but from all over the country.  We would offer them a place where they might fit in and be comfortable.”

            Maria allowed her eyes to explore Eldon’s face.  She had been up the entire night before praying for some sort of answer.  She needed a compromise, something other than black and white for once.  She needed a way to live the simple life while loving Eldon.  She felt with certainty that Eldon was giving it to her right then and there.

            “So,” she began slowly, “it would sort of be between two worlds.”

            “Exactly,” Eldon said, reaching across the table and grabbing her hand again.  “It wouldn’t be community life, but it wouldn’t be outside world life either.  We would balance it all so that we would be more comfortable.”

            Maria noticed that Eldon had been saying “we” a lot and she wasn’t sure if he was being presumptuous or just talking in generalities.

            “The last thing I want to do is take you away from all this,” Eldon said, waving his free hand in the air.  “But Maria, I don’t know if I can imagine my life without you.  And together, I think we can truly make this happen.  We can live between the two worlds and I think we could really be happy.”  Eldon gave her a small smile and Maria could see her nerves shine through the expression on his face.  “Of course, the decision is yours.  If you want to stay here with your family and the ways you have always known, I completely understand.  I don’t know what I would have done had I been put in your situation at this stage in life. I need you to know that whatever you decide, I want only what is best for you.”

            Maria felt her head start to spin.  Eldon had come after her, even after she left and allowed him to think she wasn’t coming back.  He loved her and he wanted to be with her.  He was creating a whole new community that would allow both of them to fit in while helping the Amish reputation and even Amish people.  She didn’t think the idea could get much better.

            “I just needed you know how much I love you,” Eldon went on, giving Maria very little time to think in silence.  “Wherever you are and wherever I am doesn’t matter, I’m going to love you till the day I die and I know it.”

            Maria was about to tell Eldon what she thought of the whole thing when her father entered the room.

            “Son,” he said, addressing Eldon as he shot up from his chair.

            Eldon opened his mouth to speak, but Maria’s father held his hand up to silence him.  “What I just heard,” her father said slowly in his methodical way, “was what I always wanted for my daughter.”

            Eldon raised his eyebrows, anxious to hear more.

            “I want nothing more for her than happiness, righteousness, and faith.  You are a man who is willing to love my daughter over space and through time.  Whatever happened in the past is in the past.  You are forgiven.”

            Maria watched Eldon’s eyes light up once again as he looked at Maria with love shining from his soul.

            “If it’s permission you ask, permission is granted.  You may marry my daughter…if she so pleases.”

            Maria couldn’t believe her ears.  She had started the day off agonizing about the decision she had to make.  She wanted nothing more than to be with Eldon, but she also didn’t want to leave the community life.  The two seemed to be incompatible, but suddenly the resolution was falling into place.  God was doing just as she asked in her prayers and laying out the obvious path for her to take.

            “I’ll leave you two to talk things over,” her father said, backing away from the kitchen.

            “Father, wait,” Maria said, halting him from taking his leave.  “I have a question for you and it’s more important than anything I’ve ever asked you.”

            Maria’s father took a step forward, waiting for her to speak again.  “Can I be baptized?” she asked.  “I want to be baptized.”          

            Her father smiled and quickly moved closer, taking her into his arms and hugging her tight against his chest.  “It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you,” he said, smiling down at her.

            When her father left, Maria turned to Eldon to finish their conversation.  Eldon looked stricken.

            “So, you’re staying?” he asked.

            Maria hadn’t even thought that he might assume she was going to stay simply because she asked to be baptized.  “I’ve wanted to be baptized for as long as I can remember,” she explained.  “But I also want to be loved.  And you, Eldon Schrock, love me.  I could never ask for anything more than for someone to love me the way you do.”

            Eldon smiled and Maria took pleasure in seeing the dimple dive into his cheek.

            Eldon tossed his hat on the table and lowered himself to one knee.  “Maria Miller,” he began as she crossed the room and took his outstretched hands.  “Will you be my wife?  I promise no one but God will ever love you more.”