Love Will Find a Way (21 page)

"It's not that. Financially this is not a bad move. Emotionally, it's a little wrenching. I helped build that business from the ground up."

The desire to reach out and touch him was almost overwhelming. “What will you do now?"

"I've opened an office downtown."

She was glad he was out of that office, but it was a happiness that made her heart afraid. “Did Susan object to your leaving?"

"Emily, you amaze me.” Robert's fingers bit into the arm of the couch. “Why would you even care?"

"Because I think how she feels is important to you.” She forced herself to be completely honest. “And because I'm afraid you may change your mind and want her back again."

"So I have to prove myself?"

"No. This is not your problem. It's mine. I have to learn to trust you again and I don't know how.” She would have to learn to trust herself first and she didn't know if she could ever do that again either.

His troubled gaze reflected her distress. “I won't betray you again, Emily."

Oh, how she wished she could believe that. “How can I be sure? More to the point, how can you be sure?"

"Because there is more to a relationship than physical pleasure and excitement, I...” His voice faltered.

Emily found very little comfort in those words. It only reinforced what she already feared. Susan was new and exciting. Emily was like a comfortable old friend. “Go on,” she urged.

Robert's lips thinned. “With Susan there was never comparability, understanding or any depth of emotion."

"You're telling me now that it was just a fling?” Emily's smile was ironic. “I wanted to believe that's all it was. It would have been so much easier to forgive."

"Have you forgiven me?” he asked on a caught breath.

"For having an affair.” She carefully evaded his question. “Much of what happened is my fault. I'm still trying to forgive me and that seems to be taking a long time."

Hopefully, he offered, “Maybe with time we can put the whole sordid mess behind us."

His infidelity was something she might someday forgive, but she could never forget. “I can't forget what happened. I'd be lying if I told you I could."

"I don't expect you to forget. God knows, I never will. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you'll give me the chance.” The sudden jarring ringing of the telephone rent the air. Robert asked, “Do you need to answer?"

"No,” Emily said. “This is more important."

As the last clanging note died away, Robert asked, “Where do we go from here?"

Emily didn't know the answer to that, and she said so and then added, “I've changed. My life is different now. I'm different now."

Robert smiled, ruefully. “I could argue that basically people don't change, but I don't think that would be to my advantage."

His self-effacing comment made her smile. “Maybe I haven't changed all that much, but my priorities have shifted. I want us to try again, but not at the expense of giving up all I've gained over the past year. As much as I want you back in my life, I couldn't make that concession."

"I don't want you to give up anything. I'm proud of your accomplishments.” His brooding gaze rested on her face. “Why don't we take things slow and easy and see how it goes? I won't anticipate and I won't press you to make any sudden decisions.” He stood and reached for his coat. “It's late. I should be going."

She knew that with the slightest provocation on her part, he would take her in his arms and hold her against his heart. A part of her wanted him to do just that. She subdued that feeling. More from instinct than intellect, she realized that sex between then now would destroy any hope of a future reconciliation. “I'm glad we talked."

She could feel the tenseness in his body as he dropped an impersonal kiss on her cheek. “May I call you tomorrow?"

"I'd like that. I should be home by four.” She could have been making a business appointment.

Robert opened the door. “I'll call around five.” Without looking back, he walked away and was swallowed up into the darkness of the night.

Emily sat staring at the open door for a long time before she rose from her chair, closed and locked it. Slowly, she made her way to the kitchen. Robert wanted to come home. She should be ecstatic. All she felt was a melancholy sadness that smothered all other emotions. She called Boo inside and locked the back door.

Chapter 10

Emily stood on the church steps and watched the last teenager descend from the bus and hurry toward a waiting car. Turning she smiled at the man beside her. “That was a wonderful outing."

As the bus pulled away, Dennis took Emily's arm. “I appreciate you chaperoning. So do the twins; even if they forgot to say the proper thank you.” He guided her toward the street. “I'll walk you home."

"They were too excited about going home with friends.” Emily stopped and blurted out, “May I take you to lunch?"

Dennis's eyes widened. “Are you asking me out?” His voice held a note of ironic amusement.

For Emily this was no laughing matter. “I don't want to go to the trouble of making an appointment with you. But you do have to eat and I need to talk to you."

She read in his searching gaze the intent to question why. Then he smiled. “Where am I taking you?"

"I'm taking you.” Emily veered to the right. “My car is in the church parking lot."

Dennis's hand tightened on her arm. “You knew I'd say yes?"

Mischief lit Emily's eyes. “Are you saying yes?"

"I am. But don't get the idea that I'm a pushover.” His smile was positively wicked. “Sometimes you modern women overwhelm this simple man of the cloth."

She doubted he had ever been overwhelmed by anything, least of all a woman. “Where would you like to go?"

The white of his teeth glistened against his tan skin as he smiled down at her. “There's a health food restaurant over on Grant Avenue."

Emily returned his smile. “Then that's where we'll go."

Ten minutes later, Emily pulled her car into a parking space in front of The Healthy Habit Restaurant. “I've never eaten here."

Dennis unfastened his seat belt. “Then you're in for a pleasant surprise."

They found a secluded booth near the back of the dining room and sat down. A pretty waitress greeted Dennis with a smile of recognition. “Hello, Reverend Morrison. Do you need a menu?"

"I'll have the special of the day.” Dennis raised an eyebrow in Emily's direction. “Mrs. Franklin?"

Emily asked, “What is the special of the day?"

The waitress took a pad from her pocket and a pencil from behind her ear, “Eggplant omelet."

It didn't sound like anything she would enjoy; nevertheless, Emily said, “I'll have the special of the day, too."

The moment the waitress was out of earshot, Emily asked, “
What
is an eggplant omelet?"

"It's an omelet with lots of egg whites, lots of eggplant and some fantastic seasonings."

Despite the name, the omelet, if it could be called that, was surprisingly good. Emily asked between bites, “Do you come here often?"

"Yes. The food is good and good for you."

Emily took a deep breath. “Kevin says you're a counselor."

Without missing a bite Dennis said, “You knew that before he told you."

"What we talk about here must be in strictest confidence.” Emily felt a little ridiculous making such a statement, but she needed assurance.

Dennis reached for a bread stick. “It would be even if I weren't a counselor. I'm a minister of the gospel. Not even the law of the land can force me to divulge what you confess to me in confidence."

She hadn't thought of what she wanted to say as being a confession. “It's about Kevin and Larry."

"What about them?” Dennis snapped the bread stick. Crumbs fell on the table and into his lap.

"I know they talked to you about their father and me.” Emily took a sip of water to ease the catch in her throat. “As you can see, this is a little difficult for me."

"Yes. I noticed.” Dennis's fork halted halfway to his mouth. “Do you want to talk about it?"

That's what she'd been doing for the past ten minutes. Emily's patience snapped like a dry twig. “Damn it Dennis, you know what I'm asking you."

He laid his fork across his plate and dusted crumbs from his lap. “You haven't asked anything yet, except if I'm a counselor, and I answered in the affirmative.” Popping a piece of bread stick into his mouth, he chewed thoughtfully. “Do you always swear when you're upset?"

"I'm not...” Emily sighed. “Sometimes, did I offend you?"

"I'm not offended. I am curious. I haven't a clue as to what you want from me."

Emily put her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands. “Robert wants us to try again.” She blurted the words out before stopping to catch her breath. “Kevin objects to that, even though it's not any of his business.” Her strident tones died to a mere whisper. “I don't know what Larry thinks."

Dennis pressed his napkin to his lips before laying it on the table. “Has your ex-husband asked you to marry him again?"

It hit her with the force of a physical blow that Robert had never mentioned marriage. “It hasn't gone that far."

"How far has it gone?"

She wanted to tell him that was none of his business. How could she when she had sought him out and was asking for his advice? “I haven't slept with him if that's what you're asking."

Dennis chuckled low in his throat. “You do have a way of coming to the point, why not?"

He was being aggravating and purposefully so, she suspected. “I didn't ask you here to talk about me. I need your advice about Kevin and Larry."

Dennis signaled for the waitress. “Would you like dessert, some cheese and fruit maybe?"

"I would like to know,” Emily emphasized each word, “what Kevin and Larry said when they talked to you about their father and me."

"Emily—” The arrival of the waitress cut Dennis's reply short. He took his time deciding on dessert.

As the waitress hurried away, Emily leaned across the table. “Were they upset? Larry seems so indifferent. Kevin's so angry.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “For heaven's sake, Dennis, say something."

"I can't reveal something told to me in confidence to anybody."

"I'm not just anybody,” Emily argued. “I'm their mother."

Dennis's voice lost its bantering tone. “Would how they feel make a difference in whether or not you take your husband back?"

Emily corrected him, “My ex-husband.” She didn't know the answer to that. “I don't want my children hurt again."

"What if you are hurt again?” Dennis peeled an orange, giving it his utmost attention. “That's really what you're afraid of, isn't it?” He broke the orange into pieces and laid each section on his plate. “You're afraid Robert will hurt you again."

He had spoken a truth that Emily was reluctant to admit, even to herself. “He says he made a mistake."

Dennis wiped his fingers on the napkin beside his plate. “Can you believe that he won't make the same mistake again?"

"He assures me he wouldn't."

"That's not what I asked.” Dennis sucked an orange section into his mouth.

Emily struggled to hold onto her temper. “What happened wasn't all Robert's fault. I was a lousy wife. I neglected my husband.” Her fingers pleated a paper napkin. “He took me for granted, too. All that indifference finally found its way into bed with us. He became careless; I became cold. In the end he turned to someone else."

Dennis swallowed his last orange slice. “Was it the end?"

She thought for a while before answering. “It was, because Robert wanted it to be."

"And what did you want? More to the point what
do
you want?” Dennis licked his sticky fingers before wiping them on his napkin. “I think you've spent most of your life trying to please all those people around you. Why don't you try pleasing yourself for a change?"

"That's your advice, that I should be selfish?” Emily picked up the check. She half-expected Dennis to argue about her paying for his lunch, he didn't.

"Selfishness is not always bad. It seems to me that during your marriage your husband did most of the taking and you did most of the giving."

He was making her sound weak and indecisive. Maybe he was right. “Does Kevin hate his father?"

"Why don't you ask Kevin?” Dennis glanced at his watch. “I should be going. In less than an hour the single's group is having its monthly social at the church.” He slid from the booth and stood. “You're coming, aren't you?"

She certainly didn't want to go back to a strange empty house. Emily stood and dusted her skirt. “Sure, why not?"

Later, sitting in a circle with eight other separated or divorced men and women, Emily listened as a portly middle-aged man related how his wife of nearly thirty years had, “up and took off with the TV repair man.” The man sighed. “I don't know what to think anymore.” The situation would have been amusing if it hadn't been so pathetic.

Dennis, with his usual charm and composure, offered comfort and consolation without giving any great measure of hope or assurance. “Maybe you should think less and set your course on some decisive plan of action, Amos. Truth reveals itself to the diligent doer.” The Reverend did have an amazing ability to read people and anticipate events. And he never gave concrete advice to anyone on any issue.

Eventually the group dispersed and Emily wandered into the kitchen for a second cup of coffee and another slice of cake. Leaning against the counter, she sipped coffee and nibbled cakes as she pondered the events of the past few days. Maybe Dennis's advice to Amos was not as abstract and evasive as it seemed at first. She stirred more sugar into her coffee and laid the spoon on the counter. “Maybe I should decide on a course of action and pursue it regardless of the consequences."

"Talking to yourself, Emily?"

Emily turned to see Dennis standing behind her. “Where is everyone?"

Dennis looked around the room. “Everyone else has gone home."

Emily put her cup on the counter and glanced at the clock on the wall. “Good Lord! It's four forty-five. I have to go home, too."

"I was hoping you'd stay for a while.” Dennis followed as she hurried across the room. “The twins will be home soon. Stacy and Kevin are at the parsonage."