Love Immortal (4 page)

Carol grinned. “I would’ve told you, but you
said you didn’t want to know when they moved him.”

“I didn’t. I don’t. I guess I just kind of
wanted to know if he was going to make it and all.” Jewell turned
and nearly bolted down the hall. She could feel the warmth of the
blush in her face as she walked briskly away.

At lunch - even though it was just after one
in the morning, most of the night duty nurses still considered this
lunch - Jewell sat at a table in the corner of the cafeteria with
Ashley. Jewell had met Ashley a couple of days after she started
working at University. Ashley worked in obstetrics. When they met,
they took an instant liking to each other and had been best friends
ever since.

Jewell enjoyed having such a close friend.
Throughout her childhood she had watched the other children play,
or whisper together at the lunch tables, and longed for that kind
of relationship, to be “one of the girls.” She had that with
Ashley. They ate lunch together whenever they were working the same
shift, and on their days off they would always find something to do
together. Yesterday, they had gone for pedicures when Jewell told
Ashley she needed to do something to help her relax.

“How do you do it?” Ashley asked abruptly as
she set her lunch tray on the table.

“Do what?”

“How do you deal with the death, the
suffering, day after day? Isn’t it depressing? Or do you just sort
of get used to it?”

Jewell finished chewing the food she had just
placed in her mouth. She thought seriously about Ashley’s question,
trying to think of how best to explain it. “No, you don’t get used
to it. It’s more of an understanding, an acceptance. After all,
what’s life without death? If everyone lived forever, they would
never feel the need to accomplish anything, there would be no
pressure, no ending. It’s kind of like buying presents for
Christmas. In June, you don’t really think about it because there’s
so much time, but on December 15th, all of a sudden, all of your
shopping gets done. Does that make sense?”

“Well, I guess I see what you are saying, but
I much prefer to bring life into the world than see it leave.” She
frowned as she thought about what her friend had to deal with day
after day, and tried to imagine what it would be like. She tried to
imagine herself in the same circumstances. She knew that people had
to die, it was a part of life, but she was happier not to be
reminded of it every day. “But what if we could have life without
death, or what if you had the opportunity to live forever? Would
you take it?”

Jewell slowly shook her head. “I don’t think
I would want it. Imagine living every day knowing that you would
have to watch everyone you love die. Could you imagine the pain in
that? Seeing it happen, over and over again, with no end?”

“But couldn’t you love them, knowing that
they would have you for the rest of their life? Wouldn’t that bring
you some level of happiness?”

“I guess, but how would you feel if you loved
someone who was going to live forever, but you knew you wouldn’t.
Would you want them to have to suffer that for you? Wouldn’t that
be selfish?”

“Well then, what if everyone could live
forever? Then you would never have to watch anyone die.”

“That wouldn’t work either. Whether you
believe in God, or the big bang, or Darwin, or whatever, there has
to be balance in everything; black and white, night and day, good
and bad. If no one died, there would need to be something else to
balance that. Perhaps, no one would ever be born. You would
understand that Ash. Think about the joy that someone feels in
holding a baby, even if it’s not their own. Think about how you
feel when you carry a baby in to its mother. What if that was the
balance, giving up that joy?”

“Well, what if like…maybe everyone lived
until they were 200 or something?”

“So what then, you know you are going to die
on your 200th birthday? How do you act at the end? Are you
depressed? Do you give up? Do you try harder, hoping to accomplish
just one more thing? How would you live your last days Ash?”

“Jeez Jewell, you are so depressing
sometimes! I think working down there is getting to you. I
personally think it would be cool. Think about all the stuff you
could do.”

“Can I ask you something Ashley?” Jewell
asked pushing her spaghetti around on her plate.

“Sure.”

“Have you ever met a guy, I mean saw him only
once, but then you just couldn’t stop thinking about him?”

“Yeah, I met this hunk at Padre Island during
my senior spring break. I haven’t stopped thinking about that sun
tanned hottie since!” Ashley laughed.

Jewell smiled. Then her eyebrows drew down
over her eyes as she tried to think of another way explain. “I mean
someone that you don’t really know, but somehow you know that the
two of you are meant to be together.” Jewell stared at the patterns
in her pasta as she waited for her friend to answer.

“Do you mean like love at first sight?”
Ashley asked, a little more serious now.

“Yeah, but he doesn’t know who you are. But
you still know that if he could just see you, that he would feel
the same way. That there was some sort of bond between you, making
your lives inseparable.”

“Well,” Ashley paused, giving serious
consideration to her friend’s question. “I’ve never experienced it,
personally. But I had a friend in high school. One day, this guy
walked in to our English class, a transfer from another school. He
didn’t even look at us, but she passed me a note that said he was
the man she was going to marry.” Ashley took a bite of her salad,
and chewed, thinking about the details. “She would follow him
around sometimes. She knew his whole class schedule, and somehow
even got his locker combination. She would clean out his locker
sometimes, but he never knew who did it.”

“So what happened?”

“We were at Senior Prom. That was two years
after he had walked into that classroom. He had brought a date. His
date was gorgeous; long blonde hair, beautiful huge blue eyes,
figure of a super-model. We had come with our own dates too. She
came with a guy she had been dating for a few weeks, and I brought
a friend who, like me, didn’t have a date.” She made a face.

Jewell was surprised. Ashley was beautiful,
in Jewell’s opinion. Ashley was tall, and slim. She had thick black
hair, and beautiful chocolate eyes. And she always looked good in
the latest fashions. Jewell assumed that the boys in high school
would have been clamoring to ask her out. ”So what happened?”

“They met at the punch bowl. Their eyes
locked and the rest is history. They both went to the same college
– they made sure of that, but I guess they couldn’t wait to get
married so they eloped last year in Vegas. I still keep in touch
with her. Their relationship is perfect. Not just like teenage
love, there’s something deeper. You can see it in their eyes when
they look at each other.”

“Wow, that’s really cool.”

“So I guess yeah, I do believe in love at
first sight. Why? Did you have someone in mind?” She looked at
Jewell and winked, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

“I don’t know, not really.”

“Well, who is it? Don’t leave me hangin’! I’m
your best friend, you have to tell me. It’s a rule.”

“Do you swear you won’t tell anyone?” Jewell
asked in a conspiratorial tone, lowering her voice to make sure no
one else heard.

“Of course!”

“That guy who came into the ER the other day.
The one who…died.”

“Whoa! Creepy. Do you think it might be some
nurse thing, falling in love with your patient or something?”

“That’s what I thought too, but it’s not.
It’s more. I just know it.” Jewell sighed.

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing. They moved him out of ICU so I
don’t have any reason to see him.”

“Girl! You cannot just let it go like that!
You need to play your part. Be the nurse, go in there and look at
his chart or something. See if you can get him to see you. I mean
really see you!” Ashley said excitedly, a plan clearly hatching in
her mind.

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll think about
it.”

“Well, let me know when you’re finished
thinking about it and ready to do something!” She smiled at Jewell
as they both got up to clear their trays and head back to their
respective jobs.

* * *

When Jewell got back to the nurses’ station,
no one was there. She looked at the charts on the desk to see if
anything needed to be done. She knew the supplies were all stocked;
she had checked that before she went to lunch. There was a little
boy in a room with a broken arm, but there was already a doctor and
two nurses in the room. She had some notes she had to type into the
computer; she thought she should probably get that done while she
waited for Nurse Yohanan. Nurse Yohanan hated it when she had to
remind her charges to put their notes into the computer.

Jewell sat down at the terminal and grabbed
her notes entering the information. When she finished, her mind
started to wander. She could use the computer to look up what room
he was in, maybe just walk by to see how he was doing…no, probably
not a good idea. Ashley was right when she called her infatuation
“creepy.” In her opinion, that was the best term to label her
freakish obsession.

She opened the internet browser and checked
her email. Nothing except the hundreds of spam emails she received
every day. She glanced over the computer’s desktop and noticed the
desktop icon for the application for looking up patient room
numbers. She quickly went to Google and tried to think of something
that she needed to research. Nothing. At this point, her mind was
only on one thing. She opened the application and quickly typed in
his last name “Sykes.”

While she sat staring at the screen, she was
so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear Ashley walk up behind
her.

“Looking something up, are we?” Ashley
grinned.

“Um, no. Just checking on some things.”
Jewell said as she quickly closed the open window. Jewell could
feel her face burning at being caught. “What are you doing here?”
She asked, trying desperately to pretend that she wasn’t doing
exactly what Ashley had suggested she do.

“You forgot this,” she said handing over
Jewell’s small leather wallet with a smirk before walking away.

CHAPTER 7

At the end of her shift, Jewell was just
reaching for the handle on her car’s door, when her thoughts turned
back to Collin. She hesitated, before turning back to the
hospital.

“Did you forget something?” Nurse Yohanan was
on her way out as Jewell walked past her.

Jewell tried to sound casual as she answered.
“I just thought I’d check on that MVA they brought in the other
night. I heard he’s doing a lot better and they’ve moved him into a
room. I thought I’d go up and see how he’s feeling.”

“That’s sweet Jewell. Don’t stay too long,
you’ll need to be back to work before you know it.”

“Yes, Ma’am, I promise not to stay long.”

Jewell walked slowly to the elevators. As she
pushed the up arrow, she had the sudden urge to bolt; the urge to
run, not away, but toward him. She looked at the numbers above the
elevator doors. Both elevators were near the top floor and not
moving. In her urgency, she decided to take the stairs not even
considering that she would need to ascend six long flights.

She turned towards the stairs, glanced back
at the elevator, and pushed through the fire doors into the
stairwell. And then she ran. She took the steps two at a time up
the first two flights and then taking them one at a time as she
tired but continuing as fast as she could. When she reached the
sixth floor, she stopped, winded. She was surprised that she felt a
little dizzy from her exertion so she sat down on the top step with
her head between her knees, and concentrated on long slow breaths;
in and out.

When she felt like she could stand, she
walked through the door into the hallway. Collin’s room was on the
opposite side of the floor from where she had come up. As she
rounded the second corner, into the hallway with the private rooms,
she wondered if she might be a little crazy. After all, she
thought, what was she doing here stalking some poor injured
patient? She looked silently down the hall towards his room.
Perhaps, she reflected, it would be better if I just turned around
now. She was tired anyway; she really didn’t have time for crazy
adventures. Her father was home too, and he would be expecting her.
By the time she decided that she should probably head home, she
realized that she was standing in front of the door to his room.
She didn’t even remember walking down the hall.

She looked at the name card on the side of
the door; Collin Sykes. This was definitely the right room. She
gently pushed the door open, hoping not to disturb him if he was
still sleeping; it was still quite early in the morning.

The walls were painted a cheerful blue. It
reminded her of a spring day after months of winter, when the sun
first comes up in the morning. It wasn’t a hospital color at all.
There was a large vinyl reclining chair on one side, a television
set mounted to the ceiling. The television set was silent, but
turned on. It looked like it might be tuned to CNN or some other
news channel. There was also a rolling table that was pushed away
from the bed, but within easy reach. There was a tray on the table
with a half-eaten breakfast. It looked like Collin had chosen eggs
for breakfast, scrambled. There was a half-finished glass of orange
juice, and a fruit cup with everything eaten but the pineapple
chunks. She also noticed something missing. It took her a moment to
realize there were no cards, no flowers, no balloons; nothing to
wish him well.

As she stepped into the room, he was lying on
the bed facing away from the door, either sleeping, or looking out
the window at the city beyond. There wasn’t much of a view here.
She tried to close the door soundlessly, but it made a small click
as she let it close.