Just as Long as We're Together (21 page)

Rachel walked with her books under one arm. Her hair bounced up and down, instead of side

to side, like Alison's. I thought about catching up with her and saying, What's new? But I didn't know how she'd react.

I followed Rachel all the way to her house without thinking. When we got there she turned around and faced me. For a minute I thought she was going to tell me to get lost and I started thinking of what I'd say if she did. But instead her face softened. "I'll walk you home . . ." she said, as if she were asking my permission.

I nodded.

This time we walked next to each other but we didn't speak. When we got to my house I said, "I'll walk you home."

Then she nodded. Halfway there 1 said, "You want to talk about it?"

"Do you?" she asked.

"I don't even remember how it started."

"You told Amber that Max liked me."

"Oh, right. . . I never did get what was so bad about that."

"It was just the last straw," Rachel said. "I was so mad at you by then."

"For what?"

"Because you didn't like me anymore."

"No," I said, "you were the one who didn't like me!"

"I didn't like you because you didn't like me!"

Rachel said. "You were best friends with Alison and everyone knew it."

"But you had Stacey Green," I told her. "You didn't want to be my best friend anymore."

"That's because you didn't want to be mine!" Rachel shifted her books from one arm to the other. "I felt it was some kind of competition

me against Alison . . . and I was always losing."

"You acted like you were too grown-up to hang around with us."

"I was trying to get back at you for leaving me out."

"We never left you out. It was always the three of us."

"I felt left out. I felt you weren't my best friend anymore."

"You can have more than one best friend at a time," I said.

"No, you can't."

"Why not?"

"Because best means best."

I thought about that. "What about close?" I asked. "You can have more than one close friend at a time, can't you?"

Rachel thought that over. "I guess so."

"And close is as good as best!"

"I don't necessarily agree," Rachel said.

"But it's better to be friends than not to be friends . . . you agree with that. . . right?"

"Well, yes," Rachel said, "if you're talking about true friends."

"Yes, I'm talking about true friends."

"Then it's definitely better to be than not to be." Rachel stuck her tongue into her cheek. "I think that's a line from Shakespeare," she said.

"I wouldn't know," I told her.

"I hear you got your period," Rachel said.

"Yeah, I did. But only one time, so far."

"And you've lost weight, too."

"I'm not as hungry as I used to be. Mom says my hormones are adjusting."

"Do you still have that stupid poster over your bed?"

"You mean Benjamin Moore?" Rachel laughed. "I always liked that poster." "Are you still throwing around big words?" "You mean literally or figuratively?" "Ha ha," I said. I had no idea what those words meant.

When we got to Rachel's house we stopped. "I hear you broke up with Max."

"He was a complete airhead," Rachel said. "I hear you're going with Peter Kiaff."

"We're not exactly going together. We're friends, is more like it."

Rachel put her books down on the front steps and fished her key out of her bag.

"My father's coming back to work in New York," I said.

"I know. My mother ran into your Aunt Denise."

"Is that how you found out about my parents in the first place?"

"Yes." Rachel unlocked her front door but didn't go inside. "Look. . . I shouldn't have said those things, about your parents. I'm sorry. I guess I was trying to hurt you the way you hurt me."

"I never tried to hurt you."

"But you did."

"Then I'm sorry, too," I told her.

"So . . . you want to come to my concert on the fifteenth? I've got a solo."

"Sure."

"You don't have to come," Rachel said. "I just want you to know you're invited. And you can bring Alison."

"I don't have to bring her."

"No, I want you to. I like Alison."

"Okay, I'll ask her. She's got the flu. I'm on my way to her house now."

"Tell her I hope she feels better."

"I will."

"See you tomorrow," Rachel said. "Yeah. . . see you tomorrow."

I saw a bee buzzing around the forsythia bush in front of Alison's house. I'll have to start wearing my bee-sting necklace, I thought. I wonder what Alison will say when I tell her Rachel and 1 are speaking again, that maybe we are even friends. Probably she'll be glad. I broke off a sprig of forsythia and rang Alison's bell.