Judging June (Downtown) (13 page)

The End

Get a glimpse inside Author Heather Dahlgren’s first book

Remember when you were in high school? That guy you had a crush on, finally asked you out. You had that feeling that if he ever left you; you could quite possibly die. You had all your friends that made your high school experience the best times of your life, experiencing all your firsts. First kiss, date, party, drink, and sex. You actually enjoyed going to school, because you couldn’t wait to see your boyfriend or all your friends. Do you remember feeling like that?

Well I sure as hell don’t. High school was nothing but a cluster fuck for me; disappointing and lonely. I was not popular; I actually didn’t have any friends. I certainly did not have a boyfriend. I was made fun of, or worse, completely ignored. I hated all four years. There was never a reason for me to enjoy being there. The girls made fun of my clothes, my hair, my glasses, my intelligence and even my weight. The boys didn’t even bother to look in my direction unless it was to bully me with their asshole ways. They were after the cheerleaders, the popular girls, and the easy ones. I stayed to myself. I tried in the beginning to make friends, but I was extremely shy. I threw myself into my studies and just counted the days until graduation.

Of course, some of the bullies were worse than others. There was this guy, Matt, king asshole himself. Everyone has a leader for their group; Matt was the leader of the football players. If he told them to piss their pants, they would have done it. The girls were always the worst, but he was their head cheerleader. One day, right at the end of the day I was at my locker. The girls had been relentless that day. They spilled my lunch all over my shirt and laughed when I got upset. I couldn’t wait to get home. I put in my books from my last class when I suddenly felt something dumped on my head. It smelled awful, it was running onto my face and down my back.

I turned around and there was Matt. Laughing his fucking ass off at me, holding a milk container, “I thought an ugly cow like you could use a little sour milk.”

Everyone is laughing and I can feel the vomit coming up my throat. I try to hold it in, but the smell is fucking awful. I throw up all over the floor in front of my locker.

“Holy shit. She just fucking puked!” I hear him cackling behind me.

“Maybe she should do it more often and lose a few pounds.” Fucking cheerleader. I refuse to turn around, so I wait in my own vomit and sour milk until I can’t hear the laughing any more. With tears running down my face, I make my way to my car. Hoping that tomorrow will be just a little better. It never was though. Every day was just as awful as the day before.

I was raised in a single parent home in New Jersey. My dad raised me because my mom passed away when I was just five years old. He tried his best with me, but I have two older brothers, he didn’t know how to raise a girl. I never did girly things. I played soccer, hung out with the neighborhood boys, climbed trees, and got dirty. I once asked my dad if I could sign up for dance and he told me that I was too good at soccer to quit. I also was not taught how to present myself as a girl. I had no one to teach me how to do my hair or makeup, even how to dress. I became a ponytail wearing, makeup less, tee shirt and jeans kind of girl. It’s what I knew. I have red hair, which for some reason made all girls that much more mean to me. I was not a fat girl, but I wasn’t a skinny cheerleader either. Yet another reason they teased me. When June of my senior year came, I think it was the happiest I’d been in four years. I knew it was almost over and I was thrilled.

I was beyond excited to start college and have a new start. No one would know me, so I could be anyone I wanted to be. I was determined to reinvent myself to become the person I wanted to be; the girl who had friends and boyfriends. I wanted to experience all my firsts in college, which I never got to do in high school.

Those four years were a total shit storm, but I definitely learned something in that time. I knew exactly who I wanted to be and there was nothing that would stand in the way of becoming that. All those kids who were mean to me and made my high school experience suck, I was going to give them all a big FUCK YOU. I may have taken all that shit then, but I was not going to take it ever again.

When I graduated, the first thing I did was start working out. I was going to lose this little weight and tone up. I started running in the mornings and joined a gym to tone up. I did many sit-ups at home to help get my stomach flat. I spent hours on YouTube learning how to do my hair and makeup the way I wanted it to look. I learned how to straighten my hair, curl it, and even put in a messy bun. For my makeup, I taught myself how to do the everyday look and going out looking sexy. Finally, I went shopping. I used to hate shopping, but when you start to feel good about yourself, holy shit, it’s actually fun. I bought myself everything new to go along with my new look.

When I walked onto the campus that first day, I knew this was where my life was going to change. I was a completely different girl than I was just a few short months before. I was excited by all the changes I had made to myself, physically and emotionally. I never would have imagined just how much my life was about to change.

“Kennedy Anne Greene, what the hell is wrong with you?” My roommate Becca yells through our apartment.

I laugh out loud because I knew she would get pissed that I left all my dirty clothes and towels on the bathroom floor. I love to piss her off, and she makes it so easy.

“Relax, Becca, I’ll pick it up!” I yell back to her.

I can hear Maddie, my other roommate, laughing in her bedroom. I finish getting ready for class and walk out into the kitchen to get some coffee and breakfast.

I love this apartment. It’s close to school, the bars, and restaurants. It has three bedrooms, but only one bathroom. It can become very competitive when we all need to be in there. There is a living room, with a small balcony that I love to sit on when the weather is warm. We have a decent kitchen that has a breakfast bar. The girls and I decorated, so it is modern with a feminine touch. We have lived here almost two years now. We just did not want to live on campus anymore. So, we decided that we would try to find an apartment close to school and lucked out with this one. I’m in my last year at Columbia University, majoring in journalism. I want to work at a newspaper writing and reporting major stories.

As I pour myself a cup of coffee, Becca walks into the kitchen. Becca has short brown hair and brown eyes. She is a tiny little thing, turning heads all over the place. “Seriously, Kenz, you know it pisses me off when you leave your shit on the bathroom floor! Do you want me to start my week off in a shitty mood?” she says while I pour her some coffee.

“You are so fucking dramatic Becca.” I laugh as I hand her a mug. She rolls her eyes at me and goes about making her coffee.

“Good morning, bitches.” Maddie says as she comes into the kitchen.

“Morning, Maddie, coffee?” I ask holding the pot up for her to see.

“No, I’m going to stop at Starbucks on the way to class.” She says with a shake of her head. Becca and I both laugh at her.

“Still trying to get that guy’s attention?” Becca says as she sips her coffee.

Maddie smiles as she says, “Oh I have his attention, believe me.” Maddie has long blonde hair and blue eyes, your typical blonde beauty. She never has to try to get a guy, they seem just to show up on our door step.

These two girls are my absolute best friends. We met during orientation and hit it off. We all have our place in this friendship. After high school, I made a promise I would never become that weak girl again. I stand up for my girls and myself. I’m not a bitch, but I definitely will not let anyone bully me ever again. I’m usually just a happy girl, who is finally happy with her life. I love to laugh and make everyone laugh. Becca is shy. She only gets loud with Maddie and me. She doesn’t like to cause a scene and avoids it if at all possible. She is very organized and a neat freak. Maddie is the most out going out of the three of us. She loves the attention and will do pretty much anything to get it. She is also extremely smart. We all blend together so well.

“Alright, I need to get moving so I’m not late for class. You guys want to meet up for lunch today?” I say as I put my mug in the sink and get ready to leave for the day. They both agree that we will all meet up for lunch and I am out the door to my first class.

I am starving and so relieved that class is over in a few minutes. I haven’t even been paying attention because all I can think about is getting something to eat. The professor says class is over and I almost run out of the door.

“Hey, Kenz, wait up.” I hear someone yell. I turn to see my friend Joe coming toward me.

“Hey, Joe. What’s up?” I ask when he reaches me.

He pulls me in for a hug. When he lets go he says, “Nothing much. Where are you going in such a rush?”