Invisible (A Night Fire Novel Book 5) (10 page)

I held the tube out to him and he shook his head with a wicked grin.

“
What's on your hand will be fine.”

Heat rose in my cheeks, thankfully the limited light in the room hid the fact that I was beyond embarrassed. I'd never even contemplated doing that in front of someone. His eyes were lit up with fascination as he slowly sat on the bed, my hand sliding in between my legs.

My fingers slid through the folds, coating the sensitive skin in lubricant. Jaxon took my free hand and put it on my breast, urging my fingers to play.

“
I think I found my new favorite past time.” he whispered with delight.

“
Enough of this I think.”

Jaxon nodded and moved himself into position in between my legs.

“
Relax okay?”

“
Okay.”

Slowly he pushed in, the pressure was intense.

“
How's that?”

It fucking hurt.

“
It's fine.”

He nodded and continued to slowly push the remainder of the way.

“
Sorry.” he whispered, wiping the tears that had seeped. “The worst of it's over.”

I nodded, believing him.

As he rested on his elbows he slowly drew out of me, I winced feeling the odd sensation. We kissed as he moved in and out, slow and steady to ensure that I became accustomed to the feeling. He was right, the initial entry was the worst and now it was getting better.

I was actually starting to enjoy it, my breathing became labored as he picked up the pace. Jaxon lifted to his hands, moving faster. My fingers trailed over his torso, my mind too incoherent to think about what I could or should be doing. I could be forgiven for inexperience I suppose.

By the look on Jaxon's face I could see he was getting close. His body pushing against mine was a glorious feeling but it was also making me move on the bed. Now my head was hitting against the wood head board. I pushed one hand against it, the other wrapping around his wrist for stability.

My body arched up off the bed as the orgasm flooded through me, filling me with deliriously delicious sensations. I moaned loudly, over and over again as he kept going until he finally came.

His body dropped to mine, his breathing ragged against the curve of my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and waited for our bodies to settle down. Heat still flushed through me, the orgasm lingering as a haze in my mind.

I smiled softly, thinking that there was nothing better than lying in bed with a lover after great sex.

Chapter Fifteen

Morning light filtered into the room, warmth surrounded me from the strong arms that were almost crushing me.

“
You are a bad influence.” he whispered against my bare shoulder.

I grinned, unable to disagree.

“
I said when you remembered everything and there were no bruises.”

Jaxon let out a weary and frustrated sigh.

“
You have the ability to make me give in to everything that you want. Why is that?”

Because you love me
my mind whispered.

“
Don't know.” I offered, fearing his reaction if I said the other.

“
Kaylee.”

The soft and sweet voice of my mother echoed through the hall, getting a little too close. I gasped and scrambled for my clothes, Jaxon doing the same. He rushed to my walk in robe, with a grin that was a little freaked out, he dressed.

“
There you are, I thought you'd be up by now.”

“
Tired.” I shrugged.

She nodded, her eyebrows raising slightly.

“
Where's Jaxon?”

I shrugged, El's lips pressed a thin and wry smile.

“
Okay, breakfast is on the table. If you see him, let him know.”

Her eyes darted behind me, the wry smile curled into a grin as she turned and walked out of the room. I looked behind me, there on the beside cabinet was the empty condom packet and the tube of gel. Dang it.

Breakfast was weird. Probably because Jaxon was here and Jerry was still staring at him like he wanted to kill him.

“
So what are you two up to today?”

“
Wifey club's going to the clubhouse. Thought a bit of girl time and screaming kids might help Kaylee.”

El nodded and smiled warmly. I smiled back, biting into my toast. Heat was rising in my cheeks from the attention.

I looked at the end of the table, the photo albums were still sitting there. The one on top was smaller, I pulled it from the pile and flicked through the pages as I mindlessly munched on the toast. It was of a holiday at the snow, somewhere that I couldn't figure out. There were pictures of Nate and Brad doing the brotherly hug thing, rugged up on the ski slopes.

Another one of me in between the two of them, my cheeks were tinged with pink. I turned the page, this time everyone was inside. It was a view of a long table that was trimmed with a Christmas theme. Large windows dominated the wall behind the table, the view was of green trees dripping in white snow. Beyond the trees was the outline of a mountain in the distance, the gentle slope that was dappled in browns and white.

I was sitting at the table, on my lap was a little boy with thick black hair. He was chewing on a carrot stick. Jaxon was beside me, looking like the little girl standing on his lap was choking him as she hugged him. The happy child was tiny, her arms wrapped around his neck and her cherub cheek pressed against his as she squeezed her loving hug. She was adorable with her golden locks plaited into pigtails, rosy cheeks on fair skin.

Mia
I thought with a smile and then looked back to the boy on my lap.
Hudson
it offered.

I turned the page over again, this time it was Christmas morning. A large tree sat to one side, it was haphazardly decorated and I knew why. There were several children sitting at the base of it and I figured they were the ones who had done the job.

With the fire roaring in the fire place to one side, everyone sat around and watched as the children opened their presents. I looked from Hudson to the little girl beside him, she seemed rather interested in what he was opening.
Sahara.

On the lounge to one side was Austin, a little girl sat on his lap. In her hands was a baby doll and in an instant my mind snapped with clarity. The woman beside them Abbey, she was pregnant with another child and they were preparing
Isla
for a sibling by giving her a baby doll.

I continued to study the children, wondering if I could figure them all out. There were three boys left. Two of them were twins, I could see that it would be difficult to figure out which one was which. The third boy was on his feet, showing something to his mother.
Frankie and Liam
my mind whispered with delight.

Two little boys left, sitting on the floor with their trucks.
Levi and Jett.
I smiled with a strange feeling. It could almost be considered elation I suppose, maybe a little pride at my mind working so well.

After a few pages of Christmas pictures, we were back to the non-Christmas ones. My mind struggled with trying to figure out where it was. I knew that we had gone to this place for a holiday mixed in with a white Christmas, but where?

The children played on the floor by the roaring fire, the view of the windows behind the Christmas tree was pure black. It was meant to be a photo of the children but the person had inadvertently got me in the image as well. I was looking out the window, feet tucked up behind me on the lounge. It was as if I wasn't happy about something.

Then the flood of the memory came back. We were in Aspen, this was a couple of days after Christmas and with Christmas over those that could, reverted to the way that they always were. Evan and Jaxon had gone out, Nate and Brad had joined them. But not Kaylee, she was under-age and couldn't go to a nightclub.

The memory of the pain of when they returned still haunted me, I could smell perfume on Jaxon. Worse yet, he smelled like sex. I might have still been a virgin but I knew that he'd had more than just a night out on the town. He'd been out there and partied with maybe dozens of women while I sat at the cabin and wished I was with him.

He's loved me for years yet he was still able to screw anything that batted her eyelashes at him. Tears welled in my eyes, I turned the page over with the hope that I might be able to persevere. But I couldn't. Not when the thought wouldn't let go. Determined to cause me grief or maybe remember how things had truly been.

He'd brought a date to my birthday party. He always did. Pain hit my mind like a sharp, horrible headache that burst out of nowhere. I winced and hissed as I gripped my head, I could hear chairs being scraped and a soft hand on my shoulder.

“
Kaylee honey, are you okay? Do you need to go back to the hospital?”

“
No.” I rasped, my mouth arid. “My pills, please.”

El rushed off into the kitchen. As I reached out for my coffee my hand was shaking. It had nothing to do with the accident, it had to do with the sudden realization of how things really were between Jaxon and I. We were nothing.

“
Maybe you should stay home today darling.”

I looked up at El, her eyes were warm as always as she offered a sympathetic smile.

“
It's okay, I was just trying too hard.”

She nodded as I took the medication and the water. I sank them back, watching as she collected the empty plates. Mother hen, she loved everyone and always took care of them. El took the glass when it was empty, continuing to clear the table.

His hand reached for mine, instead settling on my forearm. I looked at the edge of the tattoo at his wrist. The pain in my head was thumping hard, I couldn't restrain the emotions. I couldn't even look at him. If I did, I knew I would start crying.

“
Excuse me.” I whispered, leaving the table.

I stopped around the corner, leaning on the wall as the tears flowed.

“
What did you do in Aspen?” Jerry growled.

“
How would I know? I'm always nice to her, always.”

“
Well clearly you did something, figure it out and say you're sorry or I'll kick you out.”

I hurried along the corridor and ran up the stairs, instantly regretting it. Now my head was pounding hard and heavy. I wanted to crumple with the pain.

My head was hot, I felt like I was on fire. Stripping off to my underwear as I walked into the bathroom, I turned the cold water on and stood under the water.

By the time Jaxon walked in, I was sitting on the floor as the cold water ran over me. He seemed rather hesitant. Maybe it might have been because I had a little pain surge and then walked away when he was trying to comfort me. Or maybe it might have been because I was sitting on the floor of the shower shooting him a death stare.

He sat onto the tiled floor on the exterior of the shower, facing me with a worried look.

“
Are you okay?”

I nodded and wiped the tears from my eyes.

“
Why are you under the water?”

“
Cooling myself down.”

He nodded and said nothing for a moment, clearly thinking something. Or possibly building the courage to ask the inevitable.

“
What did I do?”

I could say,
what didn't you do?
Or maybe,
who did you do, because it wasn't me.

“
Come on Kaylee, I know something is eating at you.”

You don't want to know, trust me.

He frowned at me and I wanted to tell him that he should stop it because it was only making the situation worse.

“
I'm not going anywhere so how about you just say it? Yell at me for whatever it is that I've done and get it out there so we can talk about it.”

I sighed, closing my eyes for a brief moment. Oh well, I suppose if he wants to know then I should tell him.

“
Aspen, last year. I remember the whole fucking event. How it had almost been the perfect Christmas. Until you ruined it. Do you remember it?”

“
Uh, most of it.”

I nodded, not surprised he didn't remember coming back completely drunk.

“
We had rooms next to each other.”

He said nothing but I could see the look on his face, he knew where I was going.

“
After hours of listening to it, I got up to go for a walk and no I wasn't planning on coming back. Curtis must have heard me walking around or maybe it wasn't only me that was being kept awake by your loud friend. Do you remember him coming into your room to yell at you?”

Jaxon shook his head.

“
He had stood in my room and listened to the banging against the wall and the loud moans, made me pack my stuff up and moved me into one of the spare rooms at the other end of the house. Did you notice in the morning that I'd moved rooms?”

He nodded, lowering his head.

“
Did you ever wonder why?”

“
I knew why.”

His voice was raw, quiet and filled with pain.

“
But it didn't stop there, did it?”

I gulped hard, feeling my throat thicken and making it difficult to swallow.

“
You decided to keep her around, even though it was a family holiday. She didn't have any of her clothes so what did you do?”

He said nothing, instead favoring the vanity with a look of suffering.

“
Answer me!” I yelled.

“
I gave her some clothes that were sitting on the lounge.”

“
My clothes. Clothes that were a fucking Christmas present. You took it upon yourself to hand out things that didn't belong to you. Of all the people that it could be, it had to be the woman that you had spent the whole god damn night fucking while making me listen to it. Worse yet you did it in front of everyone. You said that you've loved me since the day that you met me but why would you do shit like that?”

Jaxon huffed, my eyes narrowed at him and I had to restrain myself from reaching out to strangle him.

“
You always said, don't buy me things, I don't like people wasting money on me. But god forbid we take something from you.”

“
Arrogant bastard.” I hissed. “I might not want people to waste money on me but I appreciate it when they do. My fucking present and you didn't even bother to ask me, you just assumed. Do you even remember what it was that you gave her? Do you remember saying to her that she could keep it because Kaylee doesn't want it. So come on, what was it?”

“
It was just a shirt and jeans.”

I shook my head, tears flowing freely.

“
No, it wasn't. That was a day at the shops with El, going through clothes and finally deciding on something that we could use the fifty dollars that grandma had given her to buy a present for me. You ignored the people around you trying to subtly tell you not to. All you could see was the woman in front of you who was jiggling her fake breasts in your face. All you wanted was another night of keeping everyone awake. So yeah, it was a fantastic fucking holiday. Thanks.”

I turned the water off, still sitting on the tiled floor in my underwear and completely sodden.