In Uncle Al : In Uncle Al (9780307532572) (5 page)

meep …
“Hookworm parasite!” said Thudd. “Parasite take food from other living thing, called host. This parasite wanna get food from Unkie Al.

“Hookworm chew through skin. Get under skin. Creep around. Suck blood. Lay eggs. Make lotsa little hookworms.

“Hookworm get into Unkie’s foot when
Unkie walk through river. Lotsa parasites live in river water.”

“Cheese Louise!” said Judy, fighting to stay away from the jagged teeth. “This monster’s going to eat us, and poor Uncle Al will have disgusting worm families crawling around under his skin!”

“Don’t worry,” said Andrew, struggling to stay out of the horrid mouth. “The big-eater
cells can tell the parasite doesn’t belong inside Uncle Al. They’ll be here any second.”

meep …
“Parasites got stuff that keep big eaters away” said Thudd.

“Hmmm …,” mused Andrew. “I have an idea.”

He started spitting at the hookworm. “Come on, Judy! Help me! Spit!”

“What are you
doing
, Bug-Brain?” said Judy. “Trying to
insult
the hookworm to death?”

“I’m calling the big eaters,” said Andrew. “Maybe they’ll come if we mark the hookworm with some of
us.”

“Aaaaaaack!”
hollered Judy. “There’s a tentacle on my neck!”

Andrew turned to see a big eater squirming behind them. More tentacles were poking through the capillary walls.

Big-eater tentacles were everywhere! They swarmed over Andrew and Judy as they lashed out at the hookworm.

meep …
“Drewd and Oody not wanna get between big eaters and dinner!” said Thudd. “Gotta get away!”

Andrew looked around. Another big eater was slithering through the capillary wall. As it pulled itself inside, Andrew held the slit open and wriggled out—and into another capillary. Judy was right behind him. The warm blood rushed them along again.

Judy rolled her eyes. “Well,
that
was pleasant,” she said.

The red blood cells were turning darker.

“It’s getting harder to breathe,” said Andrew.

meep …
“Blood going back to heart, back to lungs. Can try to get out through lungs again.

“Knock, knock. Who there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry! Hee hee hee!”

“Thudd!” said Andrew. “What’s going on? Why are you telling knock-knock jokes?”

Thudd’s face screen went dark and the buttons on his chest stopped blinking.

“Oh no!” said Andrew. He pulled Thudd from his pocket and gave him a shake. “I think Thudd’s thought chips are getting soggy. The last time this happened, he told elephant jokes. He was in bad shape.

“I painted him with three coats of Never-Wet, but it must be wearing off.”

Andrew pressed Thudd’s reset button. Thudd’s gumdrop-shaped feet gave a little kick. The buttons on his chest began to blink green again, but not as brightly as before.

bleep …
“Dewd? Oogy?”

“Are you okay, Thudd?” asked Andrew.

bloop …
“Kinda,” said Thudd woozily.

“Hang in there, buddy,” said Andrew. “We’ll get you dry soon.”

blurp …
“Thunkoo, Drewp,” said Thudd.

Thumpa! Thumpa! Thumpa!

THUMPA! THUMPA!

They were getting near Uncle Al’s heart again. It was beating faster than before. They were traveling at breakneck speed.

“Woofers!” said Andrew, somersaulting through the red blood cells. “The blood is moving so fast!”

gleep …
“Unkie Al doing lotsa stuff, maybe,” said Thudd. “Or Unkie Al scared, maybe.

“Heart beat fast when someone work hard. Heart beat fast when someone scared. Body need lotsa energy, lotsa oxygen. Heart rush blood to body.”

THUMPA! THUMPA! THUMPA! THUMPA!

Andrew could see the heart valve ahead of them. It was opening. They were sucked into the right side of the heart and pumped out so quickly that the heartstrings were a blur.

The blood rushed them through the lungs too fast to find spaces in the capillary walls. Instantly, they were pumped to the left side of
the heart. With a powerful squeeze, it zoomed them off into Uncle Al’s body again.

Red blood cells smacked into Andrew like big rubber rafts. Andrew accidentally jerked the Drastic Elastic and Judy’s head bonked into his.

Now it felt like the bloodstream was rushing them up and up.

Maybe we’ll go to Uncle Al’s nose
, thought Andrew.
We could get out from there.

Suddenly Andrew tingled all over. “Electricity!” he said.

meep …
“Drewd and Oody in Unkie’s brain now,” said Thudd. “Brain use electric signals to send messages.”

Andrew noticed that his arms and legs were poking out of his red-blood-cell disguise.
Uh-oh
, he thought.
I’m getting bigger!

“Oofers!” cried Andrew. He was stuck in the capillary like a cork in a bottle.

“Erf!” hollered Judy, slamming into Andrew. “What’s going on?”

“I’m getting bigger,” said Andrew. “That’s why I’m stuck. And you’re as big as I am. It’s the electricity.”

“What’ll we do now?” asked Judy.

“We have to get out of the capillary,” said Andrew.

He struggled to push apart a tight space between the cells.

“Wowzers schnauzers!” exclaimed Andrew. Through the opening, his flashlight beam showed white spidery shapes connected by long strands.

“So this is Uncle Al’s brain! It looks like a weird web!”

meep …
“Brain is web made of neuron cells,” said Thudd. “Neuron is long, thin cell that connect to other neuron cells. Send electric messages to other parts of brain. To other parts of body.

“Gotta have neuron cells to walk. Talk. Move. Breathe. Think.”

“Woofers!” groaned Andrew, squeezing himself through the capillary wall. His red blood cell was ripping.

He dragged himself out of the capillary and sat on top of it. He was awash in a warm, clear, watery soup.

Judy climbed out of the capillary and sat beside Andrew. Her red blood cell was tattered.

“Weird-a-mundo!” she said as she looked around.

“Youch!” said Andrew. “I keep getting zaps of electricity.”

meep …
“Unkie’s brain cells sending messages,” said Thudd.

Suddenly Thudd’s purple button popped open and a beam of purple light zoomed out. At the end of the beam was Uncle Al. His bushy eyebrows came together in the middle of his forehead. He looked worried.

“Hey there, guys!” said Uncle Al. “I rowed the boat to shore. The Hologram Helper is working again, but I don’t know for how long.

“Where are you guys, anyway?”

“We’re inside your
brain
, Uncle Al!” said Judy.

“We had to get out of the capillary we were in,” said Andrew, “because we were getting too big. I think the electricity from your heart and brain is making us grow.”

Uncle Al smiled. “I’m glad you’re getting bigger,” he said. “But that means we’d better get you out of my brain soon.”

Uncle Al rubbed his chin. “Let me see,” he said. “The easiest way out of my brain is through my ear.

“Thudd, you know your way through the brain. Find the nerve that goes to my ear. It should be easy to get out from there.”

gleep …
“Knock, knock,” Thudd began. “Who there? Pea. Pea who? Pea you! Drewd smell bad! Hoo hoo!”

Uncle Al shook his head. “Knock-knock jokes,” he said grimly. “Thudd’s thought chips are dangerously soggy.”

“I’m pressing his reset button,” said Andrew.

pleep …
“Blokey-dokey, Bunkie Al,” said Thudd. “Can get Shmewd and Doody to ear.”

“Thudd,” said Uncle Al. “I know it’s hard for you to focus, but you’ve got to try. We’re all depending on you.”

Thudd pointed ahead.

meep …
“That way,” he said.

Andrew and Judy scrambled among the long, spidery arms of the brain cells like monkeys swinging through the jungle on vines.

“Your brain is
greasy
, Uncle Al,” said Judy.

Uncle Al laughed. “That’s because the nerves are covered with a layer of special fat,” he said. “Kind of like the way electric wires are covered with rubber or plastic. Keeps the electrical signals going in the right direction.”

Andrew and Judy kept getting little shocks from the nerves all around them. Andrew caught a glimpse of Uncle Al’s hologram. His eyes looked as big as moons and his nose wrinkled up.

“What’s wrong, Uncle Al?” asked Andrew.

“I just got a whiff of something awful,” said Uncle Al. “Smells like a mix of stinky feet, dead fish, dog poop, and the baddest bad breath in the universe.”

Uncle Al’s eyes lit up. “You must be in the part of my brain that gets smell messages!” he said.

“When you smell something, your nose sends a signal to the part of your brain that deals with smell messages.

“You’re messing around in the smelling part of my brain. My brain thinks it’s getting signals from my nose.”

“Sorry about the smell, Uncle Al,” said Andrew, climbing through the nerve cells.

Uncle Al rubbed his eyes. “I’m seeing stars!” he said.

“You’re stomping around at the back of
my brain. The part that gets signals from my eyes.