Finding Hannah (7 page)

I remembered Amy telling me the man had a gun. I remembered feeling the grip of my bat as I got to the top of the stairs and the shock of finding Hannah’s room empty. Again I saw the open front door and heard Hannah’s scream.

I stopped moving through the trees and Molly’s hand found my back. Both of my hands covered my eyes as I lost the battle to hold back my tears.

Molly put her arms around me.

“Why?” I said. “Why didn’t I wake up? Why didn’t I hear him? Why didn’t I do anything?”

“You didn’t know,” Molly said, as she held me.

“I’m sorry, Molly.”

“Don’t say that. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“I’m sorry you know me.”

“Dylan, don’t say—.”

“I’m going to kill him. I’m going to find him and I’m going to kill him.”

“Shhh. Don’t say that.”

“I know what happened. I’m sure of it. He pointed his gun at Hannah and told her he’d kill Amy and me if she didn’t stay quiet. I’m sure that’s what he did. That’s why Hannah didn’t scream. I want him dead. You shouldn’t be around me.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Molly squeezed me in her arms.

“I failed her. I failed her, Molly. It’s that simple.”

“You’re not a failure. Far from it. Hannah is lucky to have a brother like you.”

I cried like I was five years old. Molly wrapped her arms around me as weeks of bottled-up pain poured out.

Chapter 5

Molly and I spent the next day searching another area. We found an old junked car from the 1940s and an outhouse that was collapsing on itself, but no sign of Hannah or anyone else. We returned to our camp and ate the last of our canned food for supper. All we had left were some granola bars, so we decided we needed to resupply.

We got up early the following day. The cool air was refreshing as we broke camp and found the shortest route back to the trail. We handed another dozen flyers to hikers we passed as we made our way back home.

The Appalachian Trail opened to the highway that ran in front of my house. Molly looked exhausted and I was sure I looked the same. We agreed to go home, take a nap, and meet back at my house which would give us enough daylight left to hike to our next area. I’d spent the last three days and nights with Molly, and now we were each going back to our homes. I hated the thought of her being around Tony.

We smiled at each other and said goodbye, then walked in opposite directions down the ditch.

I walked through the front door of my parents’ house at 10:30 a.m. on Thursday. I had left with Molly on Monday morning to start searching.

Molly and I had only slept five hours last night, so all I wanted was a shower and some sleep. It occurred to me, as I shut the front door, that I still hadn’t spoken to either Mom or Dad in about three weeks.

I heard footsteps.

“Where have you been?” Mom’s words were dripping with poison. Her arms were crossed as she stood next to Dad. They both looked like hell. Mom’s eyes were bloodshot, and Dad had bags under his eyes.

I ignored her as I took off my backpack.

“I asked you a question.” Mom’s sharp voice filled the room.

I stared back at them.

“Where have you been?” Her words grew in volume as she moved closer.

I said nothing. I thought of Hannah and my vow to never stop searching for her.

“We haven’t heard from you in three days,” she said. “Three days, Dylan! How dare you do that to us at a time like this?”

Ever since I’d returned home the night Hannah had been taken, I had buried my emotions in front of my parents. But as Mom yelled at me my anger surfaced.

“You leave us a note that tells us nothing about where you’re going,” she continued. “Your tent and your sleeping bag were gone. Wiz told us you were going out searching for Hannah, but he had no idea where you were going. What are we supposed to think? How could you do this to us? Answer me!”

I wanted to leave now, but they were standing in front of the stairs leading to my room. I stared back at both of them. I could see where this was going, and I didn’t like it.

Mom was so mad she couldn’t even look at me. “You’ve had us all worrying for three days and you come in here and you—.”

“WHY
DON
’
T
YOU
JUST
SAY
IT?” I shouted the words so loud they echoed through the house. I surprised both of them. “You’ve wanted to say it for three weeks! Just say it!”

The confusion on both of their faces was clear.

“Say what, son?” Dad said in a calm voice.

I kept shouting. “Right out from under my nose! Just say it!” I pointed at Mom. “I want to hear you say it!”

They both stared at me with blank looks on their faces.

“I was asleep when he came into this house and took her. You’ve wanted to say it for three weeks, and I want to hear you say it! This is my fault! I want to hear you say it!”

They both looked confused.

“Dylan, none of this is your fault,” Dad said.

“That’s bullshit!” Tears streamed down my face. “I’m the reason she’s not here right now. Just say it!”

“Nobody is saying this is your fault,” Dad said.

“Don’t lie to me!” I wiped my eyes and then let them have it. “You stand there and you ask me where I’ve been. I’ll tell you where I’ve been. The same place I’m going to be until I find her! If you two want to sit here, go ahead. I’ll be out there,” I pointed out the window, “looking for my sister! I might be gone for two days. I might be gone for a week. I don’t give a damn whether you approve or not, because nothing, not you, not the police, not the devil himself, is going to stop me from finding Hannah!” I stormed past them toward my room, leaving them in silence.

I jumped in the shower and tried to calm down. I replayed what I’d said and knew I meant every word of it. Three days of filth washed off me as I thought about getting some sleep quickly and then getting out of this house as soon as possible.

I was halfway to my room when I heard shouting coming from upstairs.

“I won’t lose another child to these woods!” Mom shouted.

“And if we don’t let him go,” Dad shouted back, “if we keep him here, do you realize we just might lose him permanently? He’ll hate us for it for the rest of his life.”

“I don’t want him out there!”

“You want your son back in this house, I understand that, but if we keep him here, he won’t be the Dylan we know. He’s finally talking again, and I’m terrified to think what will happen if we take this away from him. The opportunity is now. He feels responsible, and searching for Hannah is all he has left. I wouldn’t consider letting him go if I thought he couldn’t handle himself.”

“What? What is he going to find? The search was called off. I can’t lose another child.”

“If we take this away from him, I’m afraid that’s exactly what will happen. Forcing him to stay here will crush him. I can’t do that.”

I heard Amy crying, and the shouting stopped. I was happy to hear Dad say what he did, but I knew Mom wouldn’t change her mind. I felt a tinge of guilt that I was making things worse for Mom, but the feeling disappeared with the thought that Hannah was still missing. Soon I’d be leaving with Molly to continue searching for my sister. Nothing was going to stop me.

* * *

I woke up at 5:00 p.m. to the smell of Mom’s beef roast. I thought about slipping out the basement sliding door, finding Molly, and leaving immediately, but instead decided to go upstairs to the kitchen. They were already eating at the table.

“Have a seat,” Dad said.

Amy looked away as I approached. I put my hand on her shoulder and sat down next to her. I paused as I looked at Hannah’s empty spot at the table.

I said nothing as we ate. My parents left me alone as they talked. I knew in less than an hour it would be time for me to leave. Molly and I had to get to our new search area and find a campsite by sundown.

I was in uncharted territory with my parents, and I wondered if we were about to have a repeat of this morning’s shouting match. I certainly knew my parents’ rules. As far as I was concerned, the man who took Hannah had voided all of them.

“Amy,” Mom said when we’d all finished, “can you go play in your room for awhile? We need to talk to Dylan.”

Amy slid off her chair and ran to her room.

Dad waited until she was gone and then he looked at me. “Your mom and I want you to know we both love you. We certainly don’t blame you for anything that happened to Hannah. You aren’t the reason she was taken. We want her back just as much as you do.”

My parents looked at each other and Dad continued. “We talked it over while you were asleep. Your mom and I hope you can understand we hate the idea of not knowing where you are. I know how you feel. I know sometimes a man’s got to do what he thinks is right. We can’t stop you from leaving, and we wouldn’t feel right stopping you from searching for Hannah, so I’ve come up with an idea.”

Dad picked up a plastic bag from the floor and placed it on the table. He pulled out the first item.

“This is a GPS navigation system for hikers. You can use this to track where you’ve been and it’ll guide you home if you’re lost. It has maps, longitude and latitude coordinates, and a bunch of other bells and whistles. I’ve got extra batteries.” He pulled out another item. “This is a satellite phone. It’s accessible almost anywhere. Battery is good for about thirty hours and it comes with a solar charger. My unit used something similar in the Gulf War. As long as the phone is on, we can track your location on the Internet. I will teach you how to use both of them.”

He set the phone down. “Here’s how this is going to work. If we call you, you answer the phone. That is your part in this deal. If you can do that, then you’re free to come and go as you see fit. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“If you don’t pick up the phone, your mom and I will assume we have two missing children. Don’t do that to us. If that happens, the deal is off and we come and get you. You’d no longer be free to leave. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“The rest of these,” he said, handing the plastic bag to me, “are MREs, meals-ready-to-eat. We also had these in the Gulf. I’ve got a wristwatch for you, too.”

“Thank you for this,” I said.

“There’s one more condition,” Mom said. “Someone has to go with you. You can’t be alone.”

“Okay.” I looked at Mom, who stared at me to make her point. “I’ve already got someone.”

“This is the girl Wiz talked about?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said.

“We want to meet her,” she said.

“She’ll be here soon,” I said.

Mom’s creased lips did a poor job of hiding her anger. She stared at my dad with a look that made me wonder if he’d be sleeping on the couch tonight.

“Dylan,” Dad said, “in time, I hope you realize it could have just as easily been me, your mom, or anyone else who was asleep downstairs when Hannah was taken. Nobody blames you. The man who took your sister is the one to blame. No one else.

“The police are doing everything they can and are tracking down every lead. If you find anything, you call me and let me know right away. The man who took Hannah had a gun. If you think you’ve found him, you call me or the police and you stay away from him. I want you to be smart and I want you to be safe.”

Mom was having trouble maintaining her calm. She stood. “Give me a hug, Dylan.”

I did as she requested, and she squeezed me tightly.

“Be careful,” she said, still squeezing me.

“I will.”

“If you have any trouble, you pick up the phone and call us.” She finally let go.

“I will.”

“And I will be calling you every night.” She gave me a stern look, which told me I’d better answer the phone.

“Amy’s birthday is next week,” Dad said.

“You tell her I’ll be here,” I said.

* * *

I returned to my room and soon heard Molly knocking on the sliding-glass door. I let her in and we stared at my map while I told her about the arrangement with my parents. We decided to pick out our new search area.

“Here is what we covered the last few days,” I said, pointing at the circle I’d drawn on the map.

“Where do we go next?”

“I say we head north. This area is west of where we were last time.” I drew a new circle to the left of the old one. “We find a campsite in the middle of this new area. We make four loops in each direction, coming back to our campsite each time.” I drew the loops inside the circle. They reminded me of a four-leaf clover. “Each loop should take a day. Then we move west onto the next spot and start over.”

“I like it,” Molly said.

I turned around and saw Amy standing in my doorway.

“Hi, Amy.” I motioned to Molly. “Amy, this is Molly.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Molly walked over to shake her hand. “Dylan has told me so many wonderful things about you.”

Amy smiled.

“What are you doing?” Amy asked. “What is that?” She pointed at the map.

“I’ll show you.” I picked up Amy, stood her on my bed and knelt behind her facing the map. With one arm around her, I pointed at the map. “That is the area Molly and I have been searching for Hannah. And that,” I said, pointing at the new circle in the upper middle of the map, “is where we’re going next.”

“Can I help look?” Amy asked.

I looked at Molly.

“Amy,” Molly said, “Dylan and I need you to stay here in case Hannah comes back. Someone has to be here if she does.”

Amy looked disappointed, but she seemed to understand.

“Do you want to take Molly upstairs and introduce her to Mom and Dad?” I asked.

“Sure.” Amy jumped down from the bed and grabbed Molly’s hand. “Come on.”

I followed them up the stairs.

“Mom, come and meet Molly,” Amy said.

Molly greeted my parents, and after a few minutes I could tell they liked her, which was good because I wanted to get going soon. Then Mom asked about Molly’s parents.

“It’s just my mom and me,” Molly said, “and she loves Dylan. She was really supportive of me when I helped with the search teams over the past three weeks. When she heard Dylan and I were going to keep searching, she told me to go and do it. She’s really great.”