Fall into Her (Fall into Him Book Two) (6 page)

She was getting out of the car and heading for the front door when she
thought to herself that she hadn't seen that side of Philip over the past few
days, ever since J had appeared. Even the previous night's phone sex, hot and
heavy as it had been, had been all about the finale, she realized. There hadn't
been any affectionate exchanges; no talking about anything personal that wasn't
sexual. Whatever was going on between J and Philip had effectively put a halt
to any emotional progression between Jennifer and Philip.

She hurried up the stairs to her apartment. There was only one person
she could talk to about something like this. Rachel would listen and give
advice and wouldn't judge when Jennifer said that she craved Philip's touch,
and that her body responded to him almost without volition.

As soon as she opened the door to her apartment, she saw a piece of
paper on the table and her heart sank. She knew before she read it that Rachel
wasn't here. The note was brief and, like most of Rachel's correspondence,
barely legible.

“Jen, I have to go away for a couple of days. Minor emergency. Nothing
big so don't worry about me. I'll talk to you when I get back. Call if you need
me and I'll try to answer. No promises. Love you, Ray.”

Well, there went that idea. Jennifer sighed as she kicked off her
shoes. She wasn't about to bother Rachel for something so trivial. Whatever
Rachel was going through was more important than Jennifer's difficulty of
trying to understand her two men.

The only problem was that now Jennifer was alone with her thoughts, a
scenario that had been playing out far too often in her opinion. No good came
of that, she knew. If she could've figured this mess out on her own she
would've done it already. She needed to talk things out.

Her gaze fell on a pillow that had fallen off of the couch the night
before when Brad had been there.

Brad. He'd listened so well, been so kind and understanding. What were
the chances he could be that way again? And if she changed the personal to the
professional, why couldn't she debrief on him, ask his advice? After all, they
had been friends once too. She had to decide if she was seriously going to
consider calling Brad.

As she changed out of her work clothes, she made a face as she pulled
off her panties. She decided that a shower was in order.

The idea was still bouncing around in her head twenty minutes later
when she finally grabbed her phone off the table. This, she supposed, would
really tell her just how much Brad had changed. If he took the time to listen
to her problem and tried to help her fix it, she would know that he was
different.

Her fingers shook ever so slightly as she punched in the number, but
her voice was steady when he answered.

“Hey, Brad.”

“What's wrong?” He asked immediately.

The fact that he still knew her well enough to know, with just two simple
words, that she was upset, instantly made her let down her guard. The concern
in his voice sent words tumbling from her mouth before she thought better of
it.

“Remember how I said I had a bad couple of days? Well, now I'm stuck
because I don't know what to do. My boss, he's all over the place, and I'm not
sure how I'm supposed to react. He takes me for granted—doesn't appreciate what
I do.”

“Do you like your job?” Brad asked.

“What?” His question stopped Jennifer's flow of words.

“Do you like your job?” He repeated.

“I…guess so,” Jennifer answered. “I hadn't really taken that into
consideration.” It wasn't until now that she realized she hadn't thought of
that at all.

“Well, if you want my opinion...”

“I do,” Jennifer quickly said.

“I think you need to look at it this way,” Brad continued. “Is what
you're learning and how much you like your job worth how you're being treated?”

Jennifer was silent. It seemed so easy, so simple, when it was put that
way. And wasn't that how she should look at it? Was the experience, the
one-on-one learning and, yes the mind-blowing sex, was any of that worth Philip
distancing himself, the secrecy, and the often rude behavior? She didn't know
the answer just yet, but now she at least had a question that made some sense.

“And, Jenny, if this guy really is as big of an ass-hat as he sounds,
you deserve better. Don't let him treat you as less than you are.”

She ignored the irony of that statement, instead focusing on the
question he'd asked. “That helped a lot, Brad.” She tried to keep the surprise
out of her voice but failed. “Thanks.”

Brad either didn't notice her shocked tone – which Jennifer doubted –
or chose to ignore it. Either way, he didn't make a snide comment, instead just
saying, “you're welcome.”

“Brad, how did you know?” She found herself asking. “How'd you know
that something was wrong?”

“I'm not stupid enough to think that you were calling me just for the
joy of hearing my voice—as much as I wish that were true.” Brad's voice took on
a wistful note. “After our talk last night, it didn't take much to guess that
you were still having problems. Unless,” he added, “you wanted to thank me for
yesterday too.” There was a teasing to his words that Jennifer hadn't heard in
a long time. She'd always liked his teasing, before it had gotten mean.

“Thank you for that too, Brad.” She was surprised to find that she
didn't have to force the light tone. She actually did feel better.

“So, do you think, as a way to show your gratitude, you would be
willing to go on a date with me tomorrow evening after you get off of work?”

“Sure.” The word was out of her mouth before she could double guess
herself. When she realized she had accepted, she didn't regret it. It wasn't
like Philip had ever asked her out on a date. She didn't even know if she meant
any more to him than a fuck buddy would have. She worked hard and didn't owe
him anything more than that. Unless... tomorrow, things could be different...
right? But if it wasn't, didn't she deserve the chance to have some fun?

“How about Angelo's?” Brad asked, bringing Jennifer back to the
conversation. “Say at six?”

“Sounds good.” She glanced at her clock. “Listen, I have to run down to
the basement and get some laundry done or I'm going to have to wear my sweats
to that date tomorrow. I'll see you at Angelo's.”

“I'll be counting the minutes,” Brad said before he hung up.

As she set down her phone, Jennifer let out a sigh. Here we go.

Six.

That was how many phone calls Philip had taken during which he'd asked her
to step outside, sent her on an errand, or gone into the records room by
himself. Six calls that Jennifer were sure had come from J. Who else would he
be so secretive about?

Each time, when she came back in to the office or he returned, she
waited for an explanation, a word of some kind to tell her that whatever they
had was worth something to him, and each time she was disappointed. Every time
he sent her away or left, Jennifer felt her frustration grow. To make matters
worse, she kept hearing snippets of conversation that continued to convince her
that Philip was pursuing something with J.

“...you've said that before. How can I believe you this time...”

“...I know what I want...”

“...yes, I am considering seeing you again...”

The seventh time, the phone rang as Jennifer was trying to finish
typing out the latest payroll information before it was time to leave. There
was only a half hour left before her day was done and she needed every minute
if she was going to complete the work. So, when Philip spoke up again, her
patience was already wearing thin.

“Jennifer, this is a private call. Could you step outside for a
moment?”

Jennifer turned, mouth opening to say something, but Philip had already
turned away with his hand on his cell, ready to answer. She stalked out of the
room, shutting the door harder than necessary and earning a dirty look from
Emma. Instead of sitting or walking down to the bathroom or to get a drink,
Jennifer began to pace, her brain racing.

She was glad that she'd accepted Brad's offer for that night just so
she had something to look forward to. At least someone in her life was behaving
honestly. It just still surprised her that it was Brad. The fact that Brad
thought Philip was being a jerk, even without knowing about the sex part, spoke
volumes considering her ex's past behavior. Maybe this was who Philip really
was. Maybe the nicer Philip was all an act and she was just now seeing the true
face of the man.

As she neared the door on her third trip back across the carpet that day,
she caught a few words.

“...maybe if you'd been a little more clear, I would have always known
where I stood...”

That was the last straw. Jennifer snapped. How dare he accuse anyone of
not being clear about a relationship? She threw open the door and marched up to
his desk, the past few days of frustration bubbling over. Philip just stared,
as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

“I'm leaving.”

“I'm going to have to call you back.” Philip hung up the phone and
glanced at the time. “You still have about fifteen minutes to work on that
spreadsheet.”

“Maybe I need to clarify,” Jennifer spoke in an even, firm tone,
working to keep the emotion from her voice. “I don't mean that I'm leaving for
the day. I mean that I'm quitting.”

“Wait? What? Why would you say that?” Philip appeared genuinely
shocked.

Jennifer almost laughed. Was he really that clueless? “While I have
appreciated the opportunity to learn from you, I cannot take being disrespected
any longer.” When Philip opened his mouth to protest, Jennifer held up a hand.
It felt so good finally saying what she was feeling. She was tired of being a
doormat. “When we first met and you offered me a job, I let myself believe that
it was because you saw something in me, not because I'd let you fuck me. The
way you've treated me over these last few days, however, has shown me that you
don't respect anything about me. If you want to treat me like some replaceable
whore you can pay off with a job and a car service until you tire of me, then
I'll save you the trouble and leave before that happens.”

When she paused to take a breath, Philip spoke up. His voice was soft.
“You think I think of you as a whore? Replaceable? What would make you... how
could...?” He seemed to be at a loss for words.

“Really?” She did laugh this time, wincing at the bitterness in the
sound. “You want to know how? How's this. You basically use me every which way,
but any time I try to get close to you, to get to know more about you, I get
nothing. You won't answer a single damn question that may let me get to know
the real you.”

“You want answers.” He made it a statement.

“Yes.” Jennifer crossed her arms, unable to quench the wild hope that
sprang up inside her. Was he finally going to talk to her? To let her get
close?

“You deserve them,” he admitted. “But you need to let it go.”

“Excuse me?”

Philip looked seriously at her, something hard glinting in his eyes.
“All of those answers you want, Jennifer, they're all part of my past. My past
is my business, no one else's. No one gets those answers.”

A sharp pain went through her. “Tell me, Philip, is it worth it? Is
holding on to those secrets worth more than me?”

He didn't speak, a sad expression passing over his face before
disappearing behind an expressionless mask.

“Okay then.” Jennifer nodded. “I guess I know where I stand now.”

She turned and walked out of the office without looking back, not even
when she heard him call out her name.

Jennifer hurried into the restaurant. She was late and that did nothing
to ease the fluttering in her stomach. She'd spent a good thirty minutes
walking around to clear her mind after leaving work, and then, realized that
she had only forty-five minutes to shower, change, and get to Angelo's. She'd
sent a text ahead to tell Brad that she was running behind and hoped that new
Brad didn't let it spoil the evening. After the day she'd had, she really
needed something to go right. What she didn't need was Brad getting pissy
because she wasn't on time.

Angelo's was just as she remembered it even though it had been nearly
three years since she'd been there last. All of her memories of this place were
intrinsically tied to Brad. It was here they'd had their first fancy date. Here
they'd come when they celebrated their dating anniversary. They'd come here the
night they'd first moved in together even though they had an apartment full of
things that needed unpacked and could barely afford to split an appetizer. All
of those memories flooded into Jennifer's mind as the hostess approached.

“I'm meeting someone here.” Jennifer pulled her wrap more tightly
around her shoulders, suddenly self-conscious though she wasn't sure why. If
anything, she should be comfortable with Brad here. This was their place. “Brad
Miller?”

“Right this way, ma'am,” the attractive young hostess motioned for
Jennifer to follow her.