Faithfully (Club Decadence) (13 page)

Rick frowned, his eyes burning into hers, searching for the truth.  “Are you sure there isn’t something else going on?  Something I have or haven’t done, honey?  You can tell me, Regan, no matter what it is we’ll fix it.”

She cupped his unshaven cheek with her small, cool hand.  He couldn’t fix this.  “No, Bear. You are perfect.  I swear you are the best husband a girl could ever ask for.  I think it’s just me.”  She watched a tender smile quirk his beautiful lips in response to the familiar nickname.  When they were younger he tended to growl when upset Regan had told him he sounded like an angry bear, and the name had stuck.  In the Army, that growl became more pronounced in combat situations and had earned him the handle “Beast” from his teammates.

Regan knew that he was more like a Teddy Bear with her and didn’t even want to think how he had earned the nickname, Beast.  She watched his perceptive eyes search her face for a few minutes, trying to determine what was going on in her head.  He turned his face into her small hand and pressed a kiss into her palm.  He pulled her closer and gathered her snugly into his arms.  “All right, then we’ll make an appointment with someone for next week and see what can be done to help you - maybe whoever Megan is seeing.  If she doesn’t work out we’ll find someone who does.”

Regan relaxed as she watched her Dom take over.  She really didn’t want to see a therapist or psychiatrist but new she wouldn’t have a choice.  When it came to her health and safety, he was in charge.  And in the bedroom, of course, but that went without saying for a Dom.  A Chief Warrant Officer in the Army for fifteen years, he was used to taking charge, planning an attack and addressing problems head on.  She smiled as he planned out loud, cursing when he saw it was well after midnight and too late to call her mother.

“We’ll call your mom first thing tomorrow.  I’m sure she’ll have some good advice.  But for now, it’s to bed with you.  We’ve both had a long day, and I know you’re worn out.”  He stood with her in his strong arms.  “Don’t you worry, baby, we’ll nip this in the bud.”

He laid her down in their king-sized bed and kissed her tenderly on the lips. “I love you forever, babe.  Never forget that.”  He reassured her and spread gentle kisses across her cheeks and down her throat to the sensitive area where her shoulder meet her neck.  She arched into him as expected.  He knew all of her special spots and played her body like an instrument.

Her arms rose to wrap around his neck and she groaned, responding to his touch. “I’m sorry for being such a pain in the butt, Bear.”

Her soft, sexy voice drew him in as always.  His seeking lips captured hers in a searing kiss.

“You’re not a pain in the butt.  You’re a warm, beautiful, sexy woman and you’re all mine.”  He pressed a trail of burning kisses down her neck, his tongue running over her racing pulse.  “I need to be inside you now; I can’t wait.”  He pulled away to remove his leathers. Spreading her thighs with his knees, he lowered himself over her, his hard cock sliding along her slit as aligned his hips with hers.  Although BDSM was a vital part of their lives, they often had what could only be considered vanilla sex when their emotions were running high and their passions flared.  Then, as now, it was always sizzling hot.

Rick’s cock found its home and he slipped between her wet lips.  Regan held her breath as she felt the long glide of his hard flesh slowly separating her swollen tissues.  Even after years with him, it took her a moment to adjust to his size.  Her heat engulfed him as he slid deep inside and he paused when he was fully embedded. 

“Good God, Regan.  You fit me like a glove.  You’re so damn tight, your pussy muscles
are gripping me like you never want to let me go.  Nothing feels better than this.”

He looked deeply into her big blue eyes.  His hands clasped hers, their fingers linking as he moved them above her head and held them firmly in place.  “I love how you can take all of me, baby.  Feel how deep I am inside you?”  She sucked in a breath and moaned as he slowly started to thrust into her.

“Look at me, Regan.”  Rick commanded her attention as her eyes started to close and she had to concentrate to hold his gaze.  He rocked in and out, grinding his pubic bone against her and inflaming the nerves of her clit.

“You feel so good deep inside me.  Faster… please.”  She wrapped her legs around his waist and arched into him stroke for stroke.  Overwhelmed by passion, her eyes started to close once again as the sensations consumed her.

“Eyes on me,” Rick reminded in a throaty growl.  When she obeyed he spoke, his deep voice hoarse with passion, “I want you to watch my eyes as I love you.  I want to look into your eyes as you come.  Watch me baby, see what I feel.  I love you more than life itself.”

Regan’s legs trembled as they clamped around his hips.  She rocked against him, as he loved her with a slow, burning intensity.  He was such a creative lover he always kept it fresh, being gentle and romantic some times, sensual and dominant others.  A tear trickled down her cheek at the beauty of this moment.  “I love you too, Bear.  I love you forever.  But I’m not going to be able to wait. I can’t help it...”

“Come all over me.  Do it, Regan.  I can’t wait to feel your pussy squeeze me and drench my cock when you come.”  He quickened the pace, still moving at a consistent rate allowing her to feel every one of his nine inches. Still looking steadily into her eyes he ordered her, “Come for me, my beautiful girl.”

Regan lost it then. Her legs tightened around him as she tried to hold his length deep inside her. Her hands gripped his shoulders tightly and her sensitive nipples rubbed against his hard chest as she arched into him.  The merging sensations caused her orgasm to consume her in waves, and she came long and hard.  The intensity of her release pushed him over the edge into his own climax and he plunged deep into her again and again.  His head flew back as he let out a carnal growl of ecstasy.  His seed pumped deep as his cock
spasmed and jerked inside and her pussy milked him dry.  Finally, he slowed to long, drawn out strokes as they both relaxed, spent from the intensity of their passion for one another.

“Fuck me, babe,” his voice was husky from exertion and he settled, still pressed deep and tight inside her.  “No matter how we do it, fast or slow, rough or soft, kink or vanilla, you always make me blow harder than ever before.” 

Conscious of his much greater weight, he rolled them both to their sides and held her close.   He positioned her back to his front and buried his face in her sweetly scented hair and inhaled.  “Mm, you always smell so good, just like peaches.  I love fucking you until you can’t think straight and then holding you as you fall asleep,” he murmured this in his husky, sleepy voice and then sighed in contentment, “Maybe this time we made a baby, yeah Peaches?” He laughed softly at the nickname then tucking his face into her neck as he pressed a kiss to the sensitive skin below her ear. “Maybe this time.”

Regan clung to that hope as he fell asleep behind her, but the harsh reality was like a knife in her gut.  She sent a silent prayer to the heavens, “Please, God.  Let it happen this time.  Bless me with Rick’s baby.”  This prayer had been repeated many times before.  She knew without a doubt this time it would go unanswered.  The fertility clinic had confirmed it today.  She was infertile.  She hid her face against her pillow and let the silent tears flow unchecked. 
His breathing turned slow and deep and she knew he had fallen asleep.  Unable to turn off her brain, she lay there for hours, but sleep eluded her.  Carefully, she eased out of bed not wanting to disturb him and have him see her pain and disappointment.  She crossed to the window and stood looking out, seeing nothing.

The doctors diagnosed her with something called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  They explained that PCOS was a genetic disease that triggered a hormonal imbalance and caused her ovaries to produce few or no eggs.  The few eggs produced were usually immature, so treatments like in vitro fertilization and other surgical interventions were not an option.  Today, the doctors had started her on fertility drugs and hormones at her insistence although they told her the drugs were a long shot and there was no guarantee of success.  Her best options seemed to be surrogacy or adoption.  This news had devastated Regan and was the cause of her uncharacteristic bad mood tonight.  She and Rick had always planned on having a big family.  Now their future had changed.  It was so unfair. 

Her exhausted mind raced.  How did she tell him?  Could she tell him?  He would be such a good father.  She knew he would be disappointed but would be supportive.  He’d go along with whatever treatments the specialist recommended whether it was some costly, drawn out infertility treatments or adoption.  But how could she put him through all this?  She wasn’t sure she was ready for it herself.

How could she ask him to sacrifice his dreams for her?  He was thirty-five and ready to start a family.  She couldn’t begin to count the number of times he had talked of the son he would have to carry on the Spencer name.  As her emotions threatened to erode her control, she tiptoed out of their bedroom.  Once in the hallway, she rushed to the guest bathroom where she poured out her grief in private.  She slumped on the cold tile floor and grieved for the children that would never be and wondered.  What was she going to do now?

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