Chasing Hope (7 page)

T
he front yard looked bleak in the pale light of not quite morning. The trees, barren of leaves, stood alone and empty above the brown lawn of late winter. This time of year always felt heavy and depressing, especially in the early morning gloom.

In spite of her gloves, jacket, and knit cap, Sabrina shivered as she walked out into the cold. Brrr. This cold front that had moved in was really something.

She sat on the retaining wall, figuring she’d give Brandy ten minutes before she went back inside and dove back into bed.

“’Bout time you got out here, slacker.”

Sabrina jumped at the sound of Brandy’s voice. She turned to see her jogging in place beside the neighbor’s shrubs. “Wow, you’re looking motivated this morning.”

“It was a choice of freezing to death out here waiting for my trainer to finally show up or keeping the blood flowing. I chose life.”

Sabrina checked her iPhone. “It’s three minutes until five. I’m not late, you’re early.”

Brandy shrugged but kept jogging. “Don’t tell anyone. I wouldn’t want word getting around.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” Sabrina opened a training app she’d spent the last few days honing. If she was actually going to coach this girl, she needed to follow some sort of plan. Something that would challenge her without being overwhelming. “Okay, this morning, your goal is to run for the entire session. You don’t have to push yourself for speed, just keep a nice steady, comfortable pace. The only rule is that you are not allowed to stop and walk.”

“You’re not even timing me?”

“No. I want endurance, not speed.”

“Pssh. Kid stuff.”

“We’ll see about that. Around the block, get started.”

Brandy shook her head and took off at a snail’s pace of a jog toward the first corner. It was almost as if she were jogging in slow motion, her movements were so slow and exaggerated. This continued for as long as Sabrina could stand it. “And if you’re not back around here in five-minute intervals, we’re going to switch back to sprints like the last time.”

“Kid stuff.” Brandy changed to a trotting pace and went around the corner.

When she came around after the first lap, Sabrina stood up. “You’re doing egg-beater arms. Move them like pistons, always pushing forward, like this.” She pumped her arms up in straight lines in front of her.

For the entirety of the hour, she came around at five-minute intervals, making a show of pumping her arms while tossing out comments like “Woo, I’m breaking the sound barrier now” and “Look at me, I can run as fast as a grandmother.”

By the end of the workout, Sabrina had learned one thing about Brandy. She needed to be pushed. Hard. Anything less seemed to insult her.

Time to tinker with the plan.

I
t’s been two weeks now, and it seems to me that Brandy is putting forth more effort than I would have given her credit for.” Almost home from church, Nana was looking out the passenger-side window toward Maudie Jenkins’ house as she made the statement. “’Course, you’re the one actually dealing with her. Is that what you think?”

Sabrina nodded and turned the corner. “I never expected her to make it through a single five a.m. workout, to be honest with you. Yet she’s never been late even once.”

“How is her speed? Is she really that good?”

“She’s insanely fast in the sprints, absolutely amazing for brief spurts of time. Not a lot of endurance yet, and completely lacking in discipline, but she seems to enjoy distance running. If she keeps working at it, she’ll be more than ready come this fall.”

Sabrina’s heart squeezed tight inside her chest as the unwanted refrain began to chant through her head again.
It’s not fair. It’s not fair. I worked hard, I did everything right, it’s not— Stop!

“It’s funny, she’s not self-motivated, per se, but if she thinks
I’m going easy on her she gets defensive and huffy. If I push too hard, she starts to find little ways to cheat. If we can find the right balance, and she sticks with it, I think she has the potential to be something special.” The only way to get past this was to say things like this enough that they didn’t hurt so much anymore.

“I’m glad to hear it. You’ll do a good job with her, I know you will. This is going to change her life.
You
are changing that girl’s life.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, Nana.” Sabrina put the car in Park, with something that felt a lot like guilt suddenly weighing on her. “I’m not really doing much.”

Nana climbed out but didn’t miss a beat in the conversation. “You’re giving her a goal, and someone who cares whether or not she reaches it. That’s something that has been missing in her life up until now.”

Regardless of whether she was changing Brandy’s life, Brandy’s presence was definitely changing Sabrina’s. And not for the better. Her dreams had been full of running and failing and pain for the past couple of weeks. At times, Sabrina thought she was going to lose her mind.

“I’m heading over to campus as soon as I get changed. Do you need me to pick up anything while I’m out?” Sabrina held open the front door for Nana.

“No, can’t think of anything. How long will you be, do you think?”

“All day. Until the snack bar closes down anyway. I’ve got a ton of work to do.”

“Will that nice young man be there, too?”

The mention of Koen jolted her. “No. I don’t think he gets back into town until late tonight, but I’m not sure.” She’d seen little of him this week, and he’d offered some vague story about going out of town for a family event. Well, it wasn’t like he owed
her an account of his whereabouts, or what he did, or who he was with—especially with Lindy Stewart seeming to appear everywhere Sabrina had seen Koen this week.

“I worry about you sometimes. Seems like you study so much, I’m just afraid you’re going to burn out.”

“Well, just a few more months to go and that won’t be a problem anymore. I’ve got to keep my focus set on the finish line up ahead and do whatever it takes to get there.”

Nana shook her head. “I was saying just this thing to your mother this week. I’ve never known another person, of any age or persuasion, to have the kind of single-minded drive that you’ve always had.”

“Daddy would say that’s a good thing.”

“And so would I . . . most of the time. It’s just that sometimes I wish you’d put a few of your jelly beans in different jars.”

“Hey, I’m plenty diversified. Working at the snack bar is a different jar than studying. And there’s my newest jelly bean jar—the Coach Sabrina jar.”

“That’s not exactly the kind of thing I was talking about.” Nana grinned and shook her head. “I just wish you’d slow down a little.”

“I’ll take it under consideration.” Sabrina kissed her grandmother on the forehead, but they both knew that nothing was going to change. “I’m going up to put on something more comfy.”

“Well, at least eat some lunch before you go. You’ll sit in that snack shop and eat nothing but a granola bar all day.” Nana was already unclasping her faux pearl necklace and making for her room. One trait the two of them had in common was a general discomfort with dress clothes. The first thing they both did upon arriving home from church was to change into something more comfortable, and then the day could proceed into whatever direction it was going to go.

“Don’t have time. I’ll take an apple along with my granola bar, if it’ll make you feel better.” Sabrina climbed the stairs to her room two at a time. There wasn’t time to waste today.

She pulled on a T-shirt and jeans, hung up her church dress, and was in the process of pulling on her Uggs when she heard the doorbell sound. Likely one of the neighbors coming over to have a little Sunday-after-church visit, as they liked to call it. She’d have to make a quick escape or she’d end up caught in the middle of it. Sabrina was grabbing her purse and keys, prepared to make her getaway as soon as possible, when she heard Nana calling to her. She opened the door to the hallway and could see her grandmother waiting at the bottom of the steps looking up.

“Have you spoken with Brandy?” she called.

“Not since her workout yesterday. Why?”

“Maudie is here. She says Brandy disappeared yesterday after lunch and she hasn’t seen or heard from her since.”

“What about her cell phone?” Sabrina started down the stairs and saw Mrs. Jenkins sitting primly, nervously it seemed, in the living room.

“She’s not answering.” Mrs. Jenkins looked even more worn down than the last time Sabrina saw her. The dark circles under her eyes were puffy, the wrinkles on her face seemed to have deepened. “She’s gone missing before, once, but by the next morning I could get her to answer her cell phone. This time, I don’t know, something just feels wrong.”

Sabrina thought about the morning workouts from this week. Brandy never said much, volunteered little in the way of personal information, and Sabrina didn’t ask for any. They were there to work, nothing else. Still, she’d shown up every morning on time. Something did feel wrong about her disappearing without a word to anyone.

“Have you talked to any of her friends?”

“I don’t know how to reach any of them. Once, when I told that Janie girl there would be no smoking at my house, she threw her cigarette down onto my kitchen floor and stubbed it out on my white linoleum. I asked her to please leave and haven’t seen any of her friends since.”

Sabrina pondered how to respond to this. Finally, she said, “Well, she’s made all our runs this week. And one of the points of our deal was no drinking and no smoking. If she is committed enough to get up that early, even yesterday, I’m thinking she wouldn’t go out and do something stupid quite so easily. Maybe the battery in her cell phone is dead, or maybe she fell asleep at a friend’s house and just forgot to call you.” Even as she made the excuses, Sabrina knew how hollow they sounded, because they felt hollow as she spoke them, too. “I can go drive around town, see if I see her car anywhere.”

“Oh, Sabrina, would you do that for me? I don’t drive anymore and I just feel so helpless.” Mrs. Jenkins’ eyes were full of tears. “I’m just too old to be what that girl needs, but there’s not anybody else to help her. I don’t know what to do.”

What Sabrina wouldn’t have given to get her hands on Brandy at this moment. The girl might have had a rough life, but to worry her grandmother who obviously cared about her, and to so selfishly take up everyone’s time with searches and worry, well . . . Sabrina tried to ignore the tension in her shoulders, to control her anger and forget about her own stresses so that she could concentrate on the best course of action. “Do you have any idea where I should start?”

“I know her friend Janie lives over in the Creston Acres area, and they all like to hang out at that arcade over behind the old theater.”

“All right.” At least the initial search area was fairly small. Hopefully Mrs. Jenkins’ guess would prove correct. She turned
the knob to the front door. “Nana, I’ve got my phone with me. Call me if you hear anything while I’m out.”

“Of course I will.” Nana turned her attention to her friend. “Maudie, you just come in here and sit down. I’ll fix you a glass of tea and we’ll do us some praying for that young lady.”

Mrs. Jenkins nodded. “Thank you, Louise. I just don’t know what else to do with that girl.”

Sabrina hurried out the door and into her car. “God, please help Brandy to be okay, and please help me to find her fast.” She didn’t pray the rest of the sentence aloud, but she knew that God understood her thoughts as well as she did, so He knew that her motive was far from selfless.
Help me find that troublemaking brat so I can get back to my work.

Creston Acres was a subdivision full of small brick homes that had been built fifty or sixty years ago. At the time, it had likely been a place for folks starting on their American dream, full of big plans for the future. Now the houses just looked worn and tired. Multiple cars filled the driveways and spilled out along the curbs, giving the entire area a cluttered look and making searching for Brandy’s car that much more difficult.

Sabrina slowly made her way down the first block, pausing any time she saw an older, larger black car. A group of young boys were playing basketball beneath a portable goal along the street. When they saw Sabrina’s car coming, they continued their game, though a couple of them did glance her way occasionally, apparently to make sure she got the message that they had right-of-way here. Sabrina slowed her pace to avoid hitting one of the kids. Any other day, when she had less to worry about, she would have been furious, wondering what kind of parents would allow their kids to behave in such an unsafe manner. Today, she just shook her head and drove on.

She crept through block after block, looking for any sign of
Brandy or her car, and dodging countless neighborhood kids who were playing on the streets with abandon. At least three times she was forced to slam on the brakes, in spite of her slow speed, to avoid a kid running out from between cars to retrieve a ball, or to simply get to the other side of the street. By the time she’d finished the last block, Sabrina was no closer to finding Brandy, but her nerves were frayed from all the close calls.

Unable to bear the thought of returning to Nana’s house without any information at all, she drove toward the theater and the arcade. What would she do when this turned up nothing?

Turning left at the town square, she saw the old theater. It was rarely used now, and then only for special public events. There was no sign of Brandy’s car anywhere, so she drove down the side street that led to the old arcade. The parking lot was about half full, but Brandy’s car was not among those parked there.

Thwarted, there was nothing to do but turn back and return home. Before she’d even put the car in Park, Nana and Mrs. Jenkins were out the front door and waiting. “Anything?”

Sabrina shook her head. “I didn’t see any sign of her car anywhere.” She looked from her grandmother to Mrs. Jenkins. “Should we call the police? Report her missing?”

“No, oh please, no.” Mrs. Jenkins shook her head vehemently. “I promised them I would keep her out of trouble. If I call them now and tell them that I’ve lost her like this, they’ll take her away for good. Please, could you drive through town one last time and look for her?”

“But I—” The argument died on Sabrina’s lips. This poor woman had been through the loss of her son and was now doing her utmost to save her granddaughter from a terrible fate. Undeserving though Brandy might be, to take away Mrs. Jenkins’ last hope was something that Sabrina didn’t have in her to do. “I can drive through again if you’d like, but I don’t think the odds are in our favor.”

“Please, just please do this for me. If you don’t find her, then I’ll call the police, and then I’ll finally have to face the fact that I just can’t handle this, but please give me this one last chance.”

“All right.” Sabrina sat back down in her car. “I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

Sabrina pulled out of the driveway, battling so many emotions she didn’t know what to feel. Pity for Mrs. Jenkins and her plight partnered with fear for Brandy’s safety against a growing anger at Brandy for doing something stupid. Not to mention Sabrina’s own increasing stress when she thought of the work that was not going to get done today.

Forty-five minutes later, Sabrina was still driving in circles in the areas Mrs. Jenkins had suggested when her cell phone chimed. “Hello.”

“You can turn around, sweetheart. Brandy is home safe and sound.”

Equal parts relief and frustration hit Sabrina at once. “Where has she been?” She turned right at the next intersection, preparing to head for Nana’s house.

“I didn’t get all the details before Maudie left, but I think the gist of it was that she was with friends, camping at some lake. She says there wasn’t cell reception there, so she couldn’t call.”

Sabrina swallowed back any response. The battling for her emotions was over and now a simple fury took the clear and resounding lead. The girl was nothing but a selfish punk, and Sabrina was finished with her. Done with this whole thing. But not until she’d let her know, to her face, exactly how boneheaded this last maneuver had been.

Tomorrow. Today she’d already wasted enough time on the girl.