Breaking Dawn (9 page)

Two years later…

When the delivery man comes I am up in my room applying the finishing touches to my make-up. Maybe I’m wearing too much, but I have to look good for the cameras. I run downstairs, a little too quickly in heels, and almost lose my footing on the last few steps, but I catch myself just in time. My mom and dad are in the kitchen standing at the table where there is a large brown box. I think that they are more excited than I am.

Mom hands me a knife to slice through the tape. I just can’t seem to open the box fast enough. I pull open the flaps and reach
inside, pulling out a hardback book. The dust jacket is colourful and has a high school picture of Perry on the front. The title of the book is
Rainbow in the Shade
.

Mom and Dad reach in to grab a copy each as my fingers examine the book in my hands, feeling the hard cover and paper pages, reassuring myself that it is real. I leaf through the pages, picking out a word here and there, and then turn the book over to read the back of the jacket. Along with a couple of quotes from book reviewers, there is a pledge to donate all proceeds from the sale of this book to troubled teens and to help families cope with suicide.

‘This is wonderful!’ Mom exclaims.

‘Perry would be so proud,’ Dad says.

I smile. I don’t have to say anything; I know that he would.

Mom glances at the clock and puts the book back in the box. ‘We’ll have to admire these later if you want to graduate today.’

I take the book with me as I grab my hat and gown from the couch and hurry out to the car. I read through the first and last chapters in the book, the only two chapters that I wrote, as Dad drives and Mom is fussing with the video camera. When we get to school, I leave the book in the car and run inside to meet up with my class as Mom and Dad hurry to find seats in the crowd of proud parents.

I walk past all the kids who will graduate today. I stop to speak with Carla, who is now just beautiful. Her acne has cleared up, she has cut and styled her hair – and she must have got rid of the cat because she no longer smells like cat pee. She has her arms around Gary. It’s amazing to think that they’ve been dating for almost five months now.

I find Brian off to the side, struggling with the zipper of his gown. He sees me and he blushes. I smack his hands away from the zipper and pick out a few loose threads and zip it up for him. He’s so helpless sometimes.

‘Thank you,’ he says. ‘You look beautiful.’

I put my arms around his neck and kiss him.

‘The books came today,’ I tell him.

‘Did you save one for me?’

‘You have to come over and get it.’ I am feeling a bit playful.

‘Oh, I’ll come over. I’ll sneak into your bedroom and…’

He never gets to finish because the teachers are calling to us to line up alphabetically. It is time for the graduating class to line up and prepare to file out of the door.

The last day of school. Once we are all assembled and waiting at the door for our cue, I look up and down the line. Some of these kids I’ve known since infants. Some of them have become good friends. Some have gone their own ways. A sudden sadness
washes over me as I realise that this may be the last time I see many of them. Then it’s gone, as quickly as it came.

Outside, I hear a song start playing over the speakers –
Graduation Day
by Vitamin C. It is our cue to start moving out of the door in single file. I walk out with my classmates into the bright sun on this warm day. The only thing missing, the one thing that would make this day perfect is Perry. A lump comes to my throat momentarily. Then I think of Perry’s book. Perry will always be with us through his words. I feel strangely comforted by that thought.

After today, I feel that the whole world will be opened up for me, and I’m looking forward to the future. Who knows what it might bring? I look along the line of my classmates again. I know that I belong here, with them. And I think – I feel – that Perry would be proud of me.