Bonds of Attraction (Full Length Erotic Romance Novel) (17 page)

We stayed like that for a while. Our breathing
synced up and Leon made no move to pull out of me. I could feel his cum slowly
dripping against my inner leg and it felt wonderful. I kissed his ear and he
rubbed the back of my head. His arms held me close. I felt like this had been
something entirely new, but I couldn’t name it. I didn’t even want to.

After a long time, I felt Leon slowing
pulling out of me. His cock was still firm, but it was nowhere near the hard
stone it had once been. When it finally broke from our embrace, I let out a
small cry of protest at the feeling of his absence. Leon whispered into my ear,
but I couldn’t hear the word that I knew must be wonderful.

Leon rolled me over and began to caress my
breasts. My stomach moved up and down as his fingers pinched my nipples gently.
Still breathing into my ear, his other hand slid up around my ass and found the
soaking wet space between my legs.

His hands worked furiously on me, but still
with a gentle touch. I bit down on my lower lip as his fingers danced around my
clit. He squeezed my ass cheek as he moved in and out of me with his finger and
I moaned loudly. When Leon’s mouth parted from my ear, it was only a moment
before I felt the wet embrace of his tongue against my nipple.

The orgasm rushed out of me. It was like the
breaking of a dam. I cried out, my eyes closing so hard that I saw stars. As I
came, Leon pulled me close to him, the warmth of his body radiating through my
orgasm. My body convulsed and jumped against my will. I bit down hard enough on
my lip that I tasted something metallic in my mouth.

I breathed heavily, still in the wake of my
orgasm. It had been like a physical trauma, something that I was newly
recovering from. I laid in a heap next to Leon, his arms still wrapped around
me.

The fire popped and hissed before us. Leon
reached over and grabbed the blanket that had failed to keep his nakedness from
me. He draped it over us and pulled me in against him. I could feel his taut
muscles relax on me as sleep sneaked up upon him. Soon, his breathing slowed
and I knew he was asleep. His cock rested on my lower stomach, still half-hard
and large against my skin.

I caressed his face gently and nestled in
closer to him. His arms wrapped around me, I felt the grip of exhaustion on me.
It had been days since I had slept well, maybe even weeks. Now, completely
satisfied, I knew sleep would be deep and dark, a restorative sleep. I welcomed
it.

In the moments before darkness enveloped my
sight, I looked over to Leon. I felt something stir deep within me and for a
moment a flare of alarm struck at my heart. I quickly stifled it and thought of
him inside me. I thought of him coming, unable to stop himself against my
motions on top of him.

Most of all, I thought of Leon. My eyes grew
heavy and closed.

My eyes opened slowly. The blanket was
wrapped around my naked body. I blinked a few times, trying to acclimate myself
to my surroundings. I lifted my head and inspected the room. The fire had long
since died, but a few coals still burned. Leaning my head back down, I closed
my eyes again.

Sleep would not return for me, but I didn’t
care. I had an amazing night. My entire body felt rejuvenated, reborn. I felt
warm all over and alive. The visions of Leon looking up at me filled my head.
Memories of the sensation of him inside of me brought shivers down my spine.

His eyes looking up at me. Reflections of the
fire swimming in them. His muscles, taut and rigid, flexed as his came inside
of me. The look of pleasure on his face so intense that it bordered on pain.
His whispering in my ear. What had he said? It had been like music from the
heavens.

My body could still feel his embrace. I
hugged myself, imagining Leon’s arms around me. With him inside me, I had felt
complete. I wanted for nothing with Leon sliding in and out of me. Moving up
and down on top of him while he gripped my ass, while he stared into my eyes,
had been perfection. Everything about our embrace had been wonderful.

I imagined Leon’s cock in my hand. I could
see his abs flex and release as I moved my hand up and down. The pleasure moved
through to his face and he breathed heavily. His fingers moving around me. I
was so wet. I wanted badly to reach over to Leon right now and grab him again,
make him take me again. I wanted to hold him in my hands and stroke him while
we stared into each other’s eyes.

It had been the best sex of my life. Hands
down. It had been quick at first, and then it had slowed. In its slowness, it
had been intense. And wasn’t sex supposed to get better as two people had more
of it? If that was true, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what the sex was
going to be like next time.

The thought stuck in my mind. The image of
holding Leon’s firm cock in my hand dissipated as I began to think about
whether there was even going to be a next time. There wasn’t even supposed to
have been a first time.

I opened my eyes. When I studied the room
earlier, my eyes half-open, I had missed a crucial detail. Where was Leon?

I sat up quickly. The blanket fell from me. I
jumped up and looked around. Leon was nowhere to be found. I walked into the
bathroom to look for his clothes on the drying rack that I had never brought
out by the fire. His clothes were gone.

I wrapped myself in a robe and began to walk
around my place, hoping to find a note. I opened my bedroom door, praying that
he would be laying in my bed, forced to sleep there because the floor hurt his
back too much. My bed was exactly as I had left it.

I roamed through my place. There was no note.
Leon had awoke before me and simply left. There were no messages or
missed-calls on my phone. For a brief moment I wondered if I had simply dreamed
the entire thing. Had last night actually happened?

It would have been better if it had been only
a dream. But it had been completely real. I knew my body; I had sex last night.
There was proof by where we slept as well. My sleep-hangover dissipated
instantly when I realized the gravity of what I had done.

I had slept with a client. I had slept with
the one client who I had sworn I would not sleep with.

Why had it been so important that he had been
here when I woke up? I began to pick up the blanket and towels that remained by
the fire, idly lost in thought. If Leon had still been here, we could have
talked. It might have made the whole thing alright.

Leon was gone. Things were far from alright.

I didn’t know what to do first, so I made
coffee. I poured in the water slowly and carefully, not thinking about why. I
measured out the scoops of coffee beans that I dumped into the coffee grinder.
Even though I knew the sound of the coffee grinder was about to hit my ears
with its shrill noise, it still startled me. In the wake of the spinning
blades, silence fell over the kitchen. I poured the ground coffee into the
machine and flipped it on.

I leaned against the kitchen counter and
closed my eyes. I tried not to think. With a few cups of coffee in me, I would
be ready to tackle the problem that faced me. Hot water poured through ground
coffee beans and dripped into the carafe below loudly in the empty kitchen. I
listened intently, wanting more than anything to put off the anxiety that was
building up in the bottom of my stomach.

When I first woke up, I had been confused.
Leon was gone with no sign that he had even been at my place. I had thought
that if he had stuck around, we could have talked. I had fantasized about
turning over and getting him to love me one more time.

My heart stopped at the word that I had only
thought. Love. No, it wasn’t love. It had been sex, pure and simple. It had
been crazy and intense, a new level for me, but it was certainly not love.

I poured myself a cup of coffee. The coffee
maker continued on brewing, dripping hot coffee onto the burner that the carafe
normally rested on. Spatters of burning coffee flew over the kitchen counter
before I returned the carafe to catch the brewing coffee. I drank deeply and it
burned my mouth. The pain felt cleansing.

I scoured my thoughts for what I had planned
for the day. I knew that I had a meeting in the early afternoon, so I had at
least a few hours before I needed to be in the office. That gave me plenty of
time to eat, shower, and take my time in getting to work. I would not rush
today.

Steam fogged up the bathroom windows from the
shower. I ran it as hot as it would go before turning it back ever so slightly.
The water ignited my skin with sensation when I stepped in and it was like
being woken up again.

I leaned over and picked up the cup of coffee
that I had put on the side of the tub. I heard once that drinking coffee in the
shower was a bad habit, but the times that I didn’t do it were the exception,
not the norm. I was already on cup number three and it was still early. Coffee
was the one vice that I held sacred, I didn’t smoke or drink excessively, so I
drank gallons of the stuff.

My heart raced. I couldn’t decipher whether
it was from the caffeine that I had overloaded in my system or the panic over
the previous night. I had been up for a little while, but I had not given it
much thought. Every time the reality of what I had done set in, I immediately
tried to push it away as fast as I could.

My skin had turned red. I turned off the
shower and stood there, dripping in the steamy bathroom. A wave of emotion
flooded me and I felt like crying. Tears welled up in my eyes and I fought them
back. Somehow I viewed crying as giving in to some sort of despair that I
refused to let take hold.

I wrapped myself in a towel and walked out of
the bathroom. As I walked to my bedroom, I couldn’t stop myself from looking
over to where the blanket still lay in a heap by the fireplace. Images of Leon
looking up at me flashed in my head. I shook them off and walked into my
bedroom.

I had never slept with a client before. There
had been plenty of temptations. A few clients had been so appealing that I had
considered referring them to another matchmaker just so I could sleep with
them. But my professionalism always remained steadfast.

I remembered one temptation very clearly.
Three years ago, a young writer had hired me. His first book had been a sleeper
hit after a celebrity had purchased the rights for the movie. When he came to
me, he was approaching thirty, but his face still maintained a boyish charm
that I instantly took to. Clean-cut hair adorned his head. When he smiled, his
face turned radiant.

During our first meeting, he pushed back his
thick black-framed glasses every few minutes, adjusting them neurotically. It
was clear that he was somewhat of an awkward one, but he was friendly and
incredibly smart. His arms were wrapped with chiseled muscle; he explained that
working out steadied his creative mind and provided it focus.

There had been something incredibly sexy
about him. During a conversation, he really listened. Even while he listened,
you could almost see the gears moving in his head. Behind his eyes lurked a
darkness that I wanted to explore. I had read his books, and if he were half as
deviant as his characters, I definitely wanted to explore that.

His eyes had revealed his desires. They
looked me over as a man dying of thirst in the desert eyes a canteen of water.
I felt myself getting turned on as he canvassed my body with those bright blue
eyes hidden behind thick glasses that only added to his sex appeal. I wondered
silently to myself just how much he had worked out to steady his creative mind.

The young writer had been unable to meet
women on his own. Even with his new-found success and relative fame, he had
struggled to meet anybody that he could connect with. He wasn’t interested in
one night stands and when I heard this, I almost dared to challenge him on it.
In the end though, I matched him with a painter. He sent me a copy of his third
book with a personalized inscription in it. In the same package, there was a
wedding invitation.

Even with the young writer and the numerous
others who had turned me on, I had always kept it under control. My attraction
had never even led to me fantasizing about them while I pleasured myself. With
Leon, I had done just that. And now, it had become a reality.

I dressed myself mindlessly, lost in my
thoughts. I adorned a simple ensemble and gave it no more thought as I dived
deeper into my anxiety over Leon.

I had brought him home. That had been an even
deeper violation of my own code of behavior than sleeping with a client. As
unprofessional as it was to sleep with a client, I could have almost moved past
it without too much of a problem if it had been an encounter in a hotel room or
at his place. I had done neither of those things; I had brought him here and
lied to myself that it wouldn’t lead to anything other than a furthering of our
professional relationship.

Had I known what was going to happen when I
brought him here? It was possible that I had pushed back the conscious thought
of seducing Leon in my place, or at least setting the stage for a perfect
environment for it. I had undressed him! Then I had built a fire and sat next
to him. He had still been naked when he told me to get out of my clothes. What
did I think was going to happen?

I may have known on some level that bringing
him home would result in us having sex, but when I undressed him, it hadn’t
been sexual. Leon had stood before me, practically a broken man. I had
undressed him like I was a nurse and he was a patient of mine. After I wrapped
him in the blanket, I had to walk him over to the fireplace.

He had been so vulnerable. When he told me
about Kevin, I had cried genuine tears over the death of a boy that I had never
known nor would ever know. I had cried over Leon’s pain. When I saw that his
eyes burned red from tears and anguish, my heart had melted.

I had let my sympathy get to me. My feelings
over his loss had confused me. My heart raced faster and faster as I
contemplated the idea that I had genuinely warmed to Leon. Could I have
developed feelings? Were those feelings deepening, even now? It was a
terrifying thought.

Leon had left without so much as a word of
goodbye or a note after we had fallen asleep in each other’s arms following the
most intense and satisfying sex that I had ever had. Leon must have not had
many experiences like that either. Most of his sexual escapades involved whips
and restraints. How many of those had started with heartfelt stories about his
deepest tragedy?

I had shown no restraint. With Leon naked
next to me, I had allowed myself to be open to the possibility of sex. When he
had begun to take off my wet shirt, our fate was sealed. How could I have been
so foolish?

I made myself a fruit salad in the kitchen.
It was as though I were watching myself make breakfast and not actually doing
it myself. I felt saddened that I had lost control over myself. It stung to
think that I had betrayed myself on such a profound level.

I had brought a man home. That man had been a
client. I had slept with the client. Now, I was eating a fruit salad in my
kitchen, alone and feeling like I had made a catastrophic mistake.