Authors: Ana Layne
Blow (TKO #3) (7 page)
Ruston
Mom begged me to go to dinner with the Hudsons tonight. I told her on one condition—no Austin. I need a night away, and seeing as how the dinner is at Tamilyn’s, I don’t want to deal with seeing the two of them together. Not after last night in my fucking apartment. How the hell am I supposed to react to her? For the sake of a peaceful dinner without suspicions, I’m going to have to act like nothing happened and cross my fingers that she plays along.
I pull up to their house and park behind her car. I beat my parents here, but that’s how it normally works for us. I knock on the door and wait for someone to open it. Tamilyn’s mom opens the door and pulls me in for a hug. “Ruston, it’s so good to see you! Tamilyn is out back with Phil.”
“It’s good to see you too, Barbara.” Ever since I was a teenager, she insists I call her by her first name.
“Come in.” She waves me inside and I walk through toward the back door. I smile as I see Tamilyn talking to her Dad. I smile because no matter what, I can never be truly mad at her. No matter how upset I am, I love her, and just being around her reminds me of that.
The back door is shut but I pull it open and their conversation stops when they see me. “Hey, Ruston, I was wondering when y’all were going to show up. Dinner should be ready soon. Want to give me a hand with the grill?”
Phil Hudson has always been like a second father to me. Fishing trips were always numerous between us three guys—my father, myself, and him. Tamilyn just smiles curtly at me and walks back inside. She didn’t even say hi, fuck you, or anything. That stings a little. I was at least hoping for some interaction. I don’t even have a chance to react to the smile. I’m left standing there like a fool.
To not draw attention to the situation, I walk over to the grill and take a look at what Phil has cooking. The steaks and chicken are mouthwatering. My stomach growls just looking at them. “How was the cruise?” I ask him, to get my mind off what is constantly racing through it.
“We had a great time. Thank you for helping Tamilyn cut the grass, by the way. I know she wasn’t happy we went without her but we’ll have to plan another cruise and all of us go together.”
The thought of that happening makes my heart swell but I know the chances of it actually happening are slim to none. With my luck, Tamilyn would want Austin to go and I’d be the odd man out. Crossing my arms over my chest, I just smile and nod.
“Tamilyn told me she took some pictures at a fight. That must have been pretty damn cool to see.”
A lump forms in my throat. Why does this feel like complete torture? “I, uh…didn’t go. She was with my cousin Austin.”
“Oh? How’d she get involved with something like that, anyway?” He raises his eyebrow and I’m guessing Tamilyn didn’t delve that deeply into the conversation.
The back door opens and my dad comes walking out. It’s almost like being saved by the bell except Phil is still waiting for an answer. “Oh, Austin ran into some guys at the bar and they told him about it. Supposedly, he was in a gym back home. He got me to join too, but it’s not really my thing.”
Dad laughs from behind me, clapping his hand on my shoulder. “You don’t need to fight to prove anything, son. You’re smart as all hell and that’s all that matters.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I mumble. I’ve thought a few times about how fighting may not be for me, but I’ve never spoken that aloud to anyone yet. Saying it is like the liberation I’ve been waiting for. My dad is right. I don’t need to fight to prove anything and I won’t. I’m done with the gym. I doubt anyone from that place will even realize I’m gone.
“No offense, but I don’t see you doing that, Ruston. If it makes you happy, though, then that’s a different story.” Phil flips the steaks.
“None taken.” I raise my hand. “It’s just honestly not me. I have no place inside there. I don’t know why I even told him I’d join anyway.”
The door opens and Tamilyn walks back outside holding a pot of barbeque sauce in her hand. She hands it to her Dad and sits in a wicker chair. After crossing one leg over the other, she closes her eyes. I’m getting irritated. The least she could do is actually acknowledge me because our families know how close we are and they’re bound to grow suspicious if the rest of the evening continues this way.
***
The dinner table is set and the food is placed in an elaborate display. My stomach is growling as I watch everyone sit down. My parents sit on one side of the table and Phil and Barbara take seats on the end. That leaves two spots open and they are side by side. I sigh as I begrudgingly walk toward one of the chairs. Tamilyn hasn’t seen this yet and I know her facial expression is going to be one for the books. I reach across the table for a paper plate and set it in front of me. I look up to see Tamilyn making her way toward the empty chair. Her lips are pressed together and she looks uncomfortable.
Join the club.
She pulls the chair out and sits down.
Phil says the blessing and everyone begins fixing their plates. In almost true movie fashion, our hands brush against each other a few times. Her touch is electrifying and I’m being shocked each and every time. She still hasn’t said two words to me. I shovel a bite of potato salad into my mouth and look up to see Barbara eyeing the two of us suspiciously. Shit, she’s on to us.
Eating is torturous but I’m hungry. I’m able to push her out of my mind for the time being. I
will
make her talk to me before this night is over, though. She stops mid-bite and pulls her phone out of her pocket. I don’t have to ask to know who is on the other end of that text message. The smile on her face says it all, and I step back from table. “Dinner was great. Thanks, Phil and Barbara.”
“There’s plenty, Ruston, eat up.” Barbara smiles kindly.
I politely decline her offer and walk straight toward the kitchen. Forcefully, I cram the plate into the trashcan while muttering a string of cuss words.
“What’s gotten into you?”
I turn to see Tamilyn just watching me. I really don’t want to get into this right now in this kitchen. I grab hold of her arm and pull her into the hallway where at least we can see if someone is coming. She yanks her arm from me, sending me an unfriendly glare.
“What is your problem?” she hisses.
“
My
problem? You mean your problem, right?”
“You have issues, Ruston.”
“No, Tamilyn, I don’t. You went back on
everything
you said and decided to give him a try. Well, I’m happy for you, I really am, but you hurt me. He had some nerve bringing you back to
my
apartment. You could have told him it wasn’t a good idea or texted me to tell me what was going on. I laid my feelings on the line for you, Tam, and I thought you had done the same but I was wrong. How the fuck could I have been so wrong, because even though we were both drunk that night, I know you felt the connection between us.”
“I wanted to apologize to you, Ruston, I really did. I know I’ve made such a mess. I’ve become
that
girl and I hate it. I like him, though, and it’s only fair.”
“How is it fair? I’ve waited for you all my life. He swoops in and suddenly you run to him. What about me?”
“I love you. You know I do.”
“Prove it then, Tamilyn, because I don’t really know.”
Her lips crashing against mine take me by complete surprise. When I kiss her back, I kiss with as much passion as hers is laced with. My heart thumps wildly in my chest and I want her so badly but I don’t act on that. I’m too caught up in this moment to give a shit about anything else. She breaks the kiss and catches her breath. “I’m sorry I screwed everything up,” she whispers.
“We can fix it,” I assure her. “We can be together. I’ll even tell him if you’re worried about that.”
“It’s not that easy, Rus. I don’t want to hurt either one of you.”
“You’re
killing
me. I’m the one who wants you the most. I wish you could see that.”
She steps back, and I want to reach out to pull her closer, but I give her the space she wants. “I-I can’t hurt him. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
“I don’t understand you, Tam.” I step closer to her, cornering her against the wall. “You said you love me and I asked you to prove it. You did with that mind-blowing kiss, and you’re back to saying you can’t hurt him?”
“Don’t tell him this happened, Ruston, please,” she begs.
“What’s it matter? Are y’all officially dating or something? Are you screwing him, too?”
“No and no, Ruston. I only slept with you.”
“Not like it matters because I know that won’t be happening again because you’ve made your choice.”
“I don’t deserve this,” she says, wiping a tear from her face. “What we shared the other night was amazing.”
“I don’t want to hear it, Tamilyn.” I sigh, stepping back from her. “I’m sorry for borderline harassing you. You don’t deserve that.”
“I do want to be with you too.” She wipes another tear from her face and crosses her arms over her chest.
“You can’t have both.”
She crashes her lips against mine once more and moans into the kiss. She pulls back and watches me intently before she speaks. “I want what we said the other night. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
I eyeball her like she’s lost her damn mind because she sounds like she has. “Tamilyn, that’s wrong. We were both drunk when we said that.”
“We said it, though, and you know we did. I’m not sleeping with him and I won’t at all. All I’m asking is give me time to figure out how to break it to him that I’m with you. You know it’s going to upset him to hear it. I don’t want him know we’ve been going behind his back, I just need time.”
“I don’t know that I like the sounds of this, Tam, but I’m a fool for wanting you like I do.”
She nods. I’m so blinded by love that I’m potentially allowing chaos to form around us. I should have put my foot down and made her realize I’m done, but I’m flirting with danger just to be with my best friend. One step in the wrong direction could end in tragedy.
Tamilyn
It’s morning, the sun is barely peeking through my blinds, and my phone starts buzzing like crazy. Groaning, I sit up. Sleep was not in the cards for me last night. I tossed and turned the majority of the time trying to figure out what to do in this fucked up situation I’ve put myself in. I’ve never been
that
girl. I’ve never played the game of seeing two guys at once. I always looked down on any girl who did that. Obviously, I’m no saint. I have no golden wings and I certainly have no halo. Christ, this is fucked up.
I grab my phone off my nightstand and turn the notifications off. It’s reminding me that I have a photo shoot scheduled for this afternoon. I toss my phone back onto the nightstand and attempt to close my eyes once more. No such luck. It starts vibrating again and this time it’s a text from Ruston. I haven’t talked to him since yesterday at my parents’ house. After our hallway encounter, we managed to keep everything normal around our families so no one would notice our issues. The last thing I wanted is for either of our moms to pull us to the side and make us talk about it.
I swallow the little bit of saliva that rests inside my mouth, debating whether or not I want to hear what he has to say. I hate feeling torn, but I’ve created this and I need to figure out how to make things normal again.
Ready or not, I tap his message and brace myself mentally. For all I know, I’m getting ready to read that he’s done with me forever and our friendship will just become a massive pile of rubble.
I’m going to quit the gym today. I’m not competing with Austin.
I’m confused.
What are you talking about?
I joined to compete for you, hoping you’d see me and want to be with me but your choice is clear Tam. I can’t share you. I won’t share you and wait for you to decide who you want to be with. It’s not right to me or him and I’m sorry for making you think that was okay last night.
I’m taken aback by his words. I had the inkling that I would read something as heartbreaking as this but I was hoping in the back of my mind that I was wrong. A gasp escapes my throat as tears spring forward. What have I done? I just lost my best friend. With shaking hands, I send him my reply.
And you had to tell me this through text message? You couldn’t tell me this in person?
His next message is even more hurtful.
I don’t think it’s a good idea if we see each other for a while.
What am I supposed to say? My finger hovers over his name, wondering whether or not I should just go ahead and delete his number. I could just put myself out of this fucking misery. He’s done, obviously. I kissed him last night, proving my love for him like he wanted but it wasn’t enough. All because I can’t decide who the hell I want to be with. Aggravated, I toss the phone on the floor and lie back down. My family has this huge barbecue every year that his family always attends along with all of their friends. It’s coming up soon and I’m wondering how the hell we’re supposed to be around each other if he doesn’t want to see me. I throw the covers over my head. I just want to go back to sleep. Seeing as how the photo shoot isn’t until later, it just seems like the smartest thing to do. Except, when I close my eyes, all I see is Ruston and my lips are on his, his hands are on me, and I’m in heaven when in reality I’m in a complete hell.