Animal Heart (Beast & Beauty) (14 page)

“Can't I go and see them?” she croaked, her voice breaking.

“No, not until the undertaker has prepared them,” Carly explained.

They sat drinking coffee, trying to calm down and comfort each other over the next few hours. Finally Aden spoke up.

“Show me around outside, hmmm? It'll take your mind off things for a little while. Won't it?”  He stood, picked up her hand and pulled her up. She took a long shaky breath.

“Okay. Just for a few minutes. I need some air anyway.” She left the room, and the small crowd of grieving people filling it, for a short respite. As soon as they were out of the back door, he wasted no time.

“We need to find you somewhere safe. For full moon. How secure is the garage?”

“Not very. It's got a glass door connecting it to the entryway and I don't think the metal front door's gonna hold back a raging werewolf, to be honest.”

“Anywhere else that might do?”

“Not that I know of.”

“We could search around here and find somewhere, but the best choice is to come back to Heart. Just for a few days. There's not much you can do here for a while, is there? It'll be over a week until the funerals Maddy. They take a while to arrange.”

“But I need to help arrange them, don't I?” she asked, tearing up again and choking it back.

“Offer to do what you can tomorrow. Then don't come back until after full moon and carry on then. You can do things on the phone from there just as well. Anything you need to come back here for, I'll bring you myself. It's three hours, that's all. We'll get through this first full moon and then things will be simpler, won't they?”

“Okay. I suppose it makes sense. Let's have a walk, shall we? I feel better now that I'm outside. It was really heavy going in there.” She took his hand and led him down the little paddock through the long grass.

At Jackie and Carly's insistence, they left that evening. There was nothing she could do, they said. Her mother's and father's autopsies were due in the next two days, and until then the bodies couldn't be released to the undertaker. Jackie had lost her husband a year ago, and she assured them that her parents wouldn't be buried for at least seven or perhaps as long as ten days from now. Carly and her boyfriend offered to deal with undertaker, as Carly was the senior daughter and it was right she should take on that responsibility. Maddy offered to arrange their floral attributes, the after funeral reception at their home, and to make the phone calls to their friends and other relations.

Fully prepared for their tasks, they left her parents' home late that day and all returned, broken hearted and completely overwhelmed and tearful, to their lives.

As they left Calgary behind for a week, and headed down the Trans Canada Highway, she felt so grateful to him for being there with her.

“Thanks for coming with me. I don't know how I'd have coped without you,” she said quietly, looking at his weary face, and spilling over with love for him. His hair was a mess and he looked like he hadn't shaved for days. Male werewolf facial hair seemed to grow very fast. He was extremely sexy when scruffy, not that she should be thinking things like that just now, but she desperately needed a diversion from her dark miserable thoughts.

“You don't need to thank me Maddy. I wanted to do it. We're together? Aren't we?”

“How together are we exactly?” she asked without really thinking.

“Now's not the time for discussing things like that. You've got a head full of grief to deal with.”

“Aden, I need to know where I stand with you,” she pushed.

He put on turn signal blinker and pulled over, into a diner parking lot, and turned off the engine.

“I need some food, so let's go and have something to eat and discuss it there, shall we? I can't think on an empty stomach and I haven't eaten since breakfast.”

They made their way inside the diner. To her surprise, she felt hungry. She hadn't expected that. But the numbing effect of shock was wearing off. She now felt strained and had a constant dull pain in her chest, and a streak of hunger was clearly evident based on the growling emptiness going on inside her.

They both chose to have chicken salads and sat at the far end of the almost empty diner to talk. Their drinks arrived, and Aden took a sip of his coke and then held her hand.

“So... What do you want to know?”

“When you said I belong to you, and you belong to me... what did that mean?”

“It means just that. We belong.”

“It's not official, is it?”

“Not if you don't want it to be. I realise it's early days. Besides, you might dump me when you see my wolf.” He said with a touch of humor and a delightfully sexy grin.

“Oh ha ha... Aden, there's nothing about you I won't like. Even if you've got two heads and a pair of forked tongues, I'll still like your wolf. In fact I'm sure I'll love it.”

“Well that's good to hear, because I ain't pretty. But anyway, I don't want to push you Maddy. We can take our time, okay?”

“What's supposed to happen next, after declaring that we belong?”

“I ask you to be my mate,” he said looking at her cautiously.

“I see, and what does that entail?”

“I ask, and if you accept, we mark each other privately. Then we mix our blood publicly and have a celebration with the others. It's a serious commitment, kind of a wedding for werewolves, I suppose,” he explained in a solemn voice.

Panic suddenly arose in her chest, mixed with a wild sense of delightful joy that he felt enough for her to consider being with her in that way. Pretty seriously, it would seem. Her mind swung from one thing to the other, back and forth. Joy, panic, joy, panic... She couldn't explain it. But it was far too soon for things like this, she reasoned.

“Maybe you're right. It is too much for my brain to cope with just now. I shouldn't have asked.” She forced herself to say. His face dropped with obvious disappointment and she felt guilty about that, but at the same time, it
was
too much. Too much for today anyhow.

Her parents had just died and were yet to be buried. She had her job issue to resolve, her changing form to experience fully, and her new life to adapt to. She knew she loved him, but it was a very young, fragile relationship. One that needed to grow before things became 'for life'.

Or did it?

She began to argue within herself like a mad woman. Could she really hope to find anyone she wanted more? He had to be a werewolf of course. So it was very unlikely. He'd been delivered to her. Her perfect man, with a few added extras. And she loved him already. He was kind and sweet, yet strong and tough. He was her hero. What the hell was she waiting for? She should be begging at his feet to be his mate and declaring her undying love for him.

An inner brake made her hold back from doing anything extreme like that. He'd been commitment phobic for years. She'd seen how he reacted with Mia. Cool and detached. He obviously didn't like clingy, needy females. Supposing she scared him off by being too intense?  But then again, he'd mentioned their future mating, as if it were a natural progression for them. He must feel strongly and intensely enough himself to even consider it.

“There you go...” Their beautiful, large salads were placed on the table by the smiling waitress.

“Oh, thanks,” Aden said, smiling back. The waitress looked at him a little too sexily and for far too long. She felt a rush of possessiveness over him and tried to drown it unsuccessfully.

Who the fuck was she kidding? Not herself, that was for sure. She'd die for him. She wanted him so much her whole life depended on it.

She plopped some mayo on the plate and dipped her cucumber in it, munching it hungrily, and as she looked at him, she felt even hungrier. For him.

She was thinking herself in circles. She needed to calm down. There wasn't any race here, so why the hell did she feel so desperate?

They spoke on and off, about the food and the ranch, avoiding the subject of her parents, as they ate their meal and then got back in the truck, continuing their journey back.

She sat silently, staring out of the window, her mind tossing around dreadful thoughts of her mom and dad and haunting memories of her childhood. Her eyes and heart burned so painfully, she couldn't bear it.

How could they be gone?

She needed a big diversion, something else to talk and think about so she didn't cry all the way back. She wanted to learn more about him. She realised she didn't know a thing in fact. He knew a lot about her now. He'd met her relatives, having been there in the thick of it all with her. He'd even seen the lilac color of her childhood bedroom walls and the field where she used to ride her pony. He knew her background, where she was from.

“Tell me about yourself,” she began. “Everything. Your parents, your school, your life before becoming who you are.”

“No. It's not something I like to talk about.”

“Why not?” she asked surprised at his reluctance to open up to her.

“I had a tough time Maddy. It hurts to open up those old wounds.”

“Please? I'd really like to know. Warts and all. You've helped me with my feelings today. Let me help you with yours.”

“Well, if you insist... But personally, I think you've had enough unpleasant realities for one day,” he began, giving her a concerned look.

“I do insist,” she pushed.

He took a deep breath and began. “I was born to a single mother. But not just any single parent. Oh no... She worked the streets as a hooker in the Bronx.”

“She was a prostitute?”

“She was mentally unstable
and
a prostitute. She was also a drug addict.”

“Jesus, Aden. How did you survive all that?”

“I don't know. Purely through luck, I think. She used to leave me at home for hours on end, all on my own with just the TV for company. When I was just a small kid. God alone knows what she used to do when I was a baby. I remember her being too spaced out to take me to school, too ill to make my meals, or to keep me or my clothes clean, and finally too far gone in her head to be a mother anymore. She was nice mommy, bad mommy, all the time. Like a horror movie.  She dumped me at the children's welfare center when I was seven.”

“What happened then? Did things get better?”

“No. I was passed from one foster home to another. Because by then I had developed a bad temper and couldn't handle my anger issues. I was always angry with life. Swearing and picking a fight with anyone over nothing and getting into trouble. I ran away at fifteen. Travelled north, to Canada. I lied about my age and spent three years working as a general garage hand. That's how I got into cars and engines. I studied at night school and gained a few respectable qualifications and got a job as a certified mechanic working for an old fella in Calgary. He was one of our kind, although I didn't realise that until much later. Old Whittaker sold the garage to me for a mere pittance when he retired. I got the feeling I was the son he'd never had. Unfortunately, he died soon afterwards. Anyway, with a little help from the bank, I became a business and property owner."

"Shortly after that, I had my second life changing event... I was attacked by one of Whittaker's less than pleasant pals, who came looking for him when he was drunk. I was damn lucky because it was on the eve of a full moon. He turned in front of me, but I escaped with a small bite, on the hand. I locked myself in the garage restrooms, would you believe? Things were a little shaky for a while. But I got on with it. Learned all I could about it, and over time I discovered there were others who were the same. Lucas, Ben, Verity, Shane, and Mia."

"In short, I dragged myself out of the misery of my childhood and made a new start in life. Two new starts in fact,” he chuckled.

“It's such an inspiring story.”

“You think?”

“I do. You could have ended up a dead beat. A druggie or a drunk. On the streets yourself or in prison for dealing or pimping. That was where you came from, wasn't it? But like you said, you made a new life for yourself, and that's inspiring. So what happened to her? Your mother?”

“She disappeared from my life.”

“That's a shame. I'm sorry you lost her.”

“Well I'm not. She didn't love me or want me. I was a bad mistake. A slip up and an inconvenience. And it wasn't just her. No one cared enough to help the troubled little boy she raised. If that's the right word for what she did. Because neglected and ruined is a more apt description. I've found it hard to imagine anyone could ever have positive feelings for me because of where I came from and how I've been treated, and in truth I've not had good feelings for anyone else either.” His voice was quiet and low and it was obvious he was getting very emotional. She felt sure he had never revealed any of this before. Ever.

“Aden, pull over there, in the rest area ahead.” He drew the truck to a halt and turned to face her with glistening blue eyes. “That's simply not true. You have good, warm feelings for your pack. I see a lot of affection for them. And they love you for the care and protection you provide. I know Sammy and Shane think the world of you. I'm sure the others do too.” She smiled at him and he managed a small smile in return.