All I Have Left (4 page)

“Oh my God! When Grayson,
when
?” her voice genial. “I’m so excited! Jesus…wait is this just a visit or are you home for good?” she was speaking so fast I could barely follow her.

“I’ll be there in an hour, maybe sooner. Where are you?” I asked hoping she was at home and not with Evie. I needed some time before I saw Evie again. That is, if she was still around. You couldn’t expect a girl like Evie Brooks to stay in Pinckard, Alabama all her life.

“I’m on my way home. I had to go pick up a dress for tonight…” she laughed once.

“Oh, well, don’t tell anyone I’m coming, please. I want to…surprise Mom and Dad.”

It wasn’t that I wanted to surprise them so much as my mom thought I was dead. I should probably tell her in person that her baby boy was still alive.

“Josh and Kelly are here, too!”

“Oh, yeah?” It had been so long since I had seen any family or friends I was actually getting a little nervous at seeing everyone again. I’m not really the type to get nervous either. Josh had been a really close friend of mine growing up so naturally I was a little nervous…he was going to want answers about my radio silence for all this time and I just wasn’t ready for that conversation yet. Or maybe ever.

“Yeah, they got home this morning. So what…are you home for good? You still have three years left, don’t you?” She took in a deep breath and I knew what was coming next. “And where in the fuck have you been the last three fucking months Grayson?”

I knew my family was concerned about my rather abrupt disappearance. I suppose they had every right to be too.

“I’m driving, Frankie. I will see you soon.” I cut her off, avoiding her questions.

I wasn’t ready to tell anyone about why my term ended short, or even why I was finally coming home. I hadn’t even thought about it. I got in my truck in New Mexico and headed home without a second thought.

I hung up and tossed my cell phone on the top of my letter from the review board granting my honorable discharge.

Ha
, honorable?

I would hardly classify anything that fucking happened in that situation as honorable.

My mind began to wander as I looked out at the barren scenery surrounding me. So much had happened that it was hard to even reason coming home but I had no choice. I needed her. She was the only thing that can help me now. I had to try at least. Part of me was absolutely terrified to see her again. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her since I’d left and I really had no idea if she’d even speak to me again. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. I left her with just a fucking note, no letters, no phone calls. Nothing.

So many times, I wanted to call her, hear her voice but every time I dialed the number, I panicked and hung up on the first ring. I knew if I heard her voice I would have found a way to come home and beg for forgiveness…forgiveness that I didn’t deserve.

But that’s exactly what I was doing right now. I couldn’t stay away. My decisions, as usual, were fucked.

It felt wrong of me to even come back here and expect her to talk to me let alone forgive me. I had no idea what was going on in her life, if she had a boyfriend, if she finished college. Was she married? Had kids? I didn’t know her anymore, and that hurt just as bad as leaving did.

As I made my way down the dirt road toward my childhood home, nothing changed. It was still the small town of Pinckard, just the way I hoped. When you’d witnessed what I’ve witnessed these past few years, these small towns meant everything. A way to remember that despite what’s out there and everything that’s wrong with the world, there’s a small piece of the remains untouched by that heavy harshness.

I nodded at the sheriff when passing through town. He politely smiled returning the wave. I was always his favorite and I mean that sarcastically. He fucking hated me. For good reason. Josh, my cousins and I had wreaked some serious havoc on this small town from time to time, including setting the police station on fire. By accident.

As I pulled in the driveway, I was careful not to look over at her house. Afraid actually. If I did sneak a glance, I’d probably just run over there and bang down her door.

Frankie caught me before I even reached the front door, wrapping her scrawny arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. I bent down, returning the hug, laughing that she practically wrapped her legs around me. It felt strange to hug someone, awkward even. I couldn’t remember the last time I wrapped my arms around someone.

Suddenly she pulled back, her smile bright as the day. “Come on!” Frankie pushed me along, her hands on my shoulders. “We have so much to do before tonight and I have to get back over and help Evie.”

Just the mention of Evie’s name made my stomach fall.

Frankie caught onto my expression when she looked back at me dragging up the stairs giving me a cheerful smile, like she already knew how I felt. She always did. Both my sisters did.

“Here, wear these,” she tossed an armful of clothes toward me. “You’ll look great.”

“What’s wrong with my current attire?” I ran my hand over my t-shirt.

Frankie gave me a cynical look, a look she had perfected over the years. “Seriously, Grayson, you fucking stink. How long have you been wearing that shirt?” her nose scrunched waving her hand in front of her face. “You need a shower!”

She was probably right on that. I hadn’t stopped since I left New Mexico and I did stink.

“You can’t just look good tonight, Grayson. You need to be mind-numbingly gorgeous. You have to…well,” her eyes narrowed at me. “Enough, you’ll see. Clearly, you need my help on this one. Trust me.” Frankie shrugged her shoulders carelessly and danced out of the room, adding a pirouette before she made it out the door.

Trust was never a word you wanted to hear coming from Frankie Gomez. Ever. You’ll fucking regret it before you even hear the last inflection of the letter “t” flowing out of her mouth.

The last time I trusted Frankie, I ended up modeling a clothing line she designed in front of a bunch of Catholic school girls while they checked out my junk and Evie and Kelly laughed hysterically in the back of the room. I was thankful she didn’t go to design school like she had originally planned and decided to be a nurse.

I sighed in defeat knowing there was no stopping her when she was like this.

“It’s good to be home,” I muttered to myself as I headed off to the shower. Once I was in there it felt refreshing to take a shower after the long drive. The hot water burned my skin a little, as sensitive as it still was on my back. I hated to even see what my back actually looked like, but I knew it wasn’t good.

Once I was done with the shower, I ran a razor over my face but left some scrub, Evie always liked that on me.

Nice one, asshole. You know nothing about her and now you’re looking to impress her. Idiot.

As I looked around my old room, my thoughts drifted to her again when I glanced toward my window.

You knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

Frankie soon came bouncing back. Thankfully, I had my pants on as she just barged in like she lived here. Well she did.

She stopped when she saw my chest and the scars scattered over it. Like I said, it didn’t look all that great. She said nothing, her eyes diverted to the floor.

“Put this on and don’t touch your hair I already know what I’m going to do with it.”

“What the fuck for?” I sighed dramatically but followed her toward her bedroom. “Where are we going tonight?”

I’m almost certain I didn’t want to know that answer to that. I was praying it wasn’t some nightclub as I assumed by the way she was dressed in skintight jeans and an all too revealing top that it wasn’t the local Cracker Barrel we were going to.

Fuck, what if Evie is a stripper or something?

Now there’s a sight I want to see. You gotta understand how long this girl has plagued my dreams to understand my obsession with her. If you saw Evie Brooks you’d understand. She’s got this pretty long flowing blonde hair, freckles covering her face and the brightest green eyes I’ve ever fucking seen. Actually, pretty doesn’t do this girl justice. Gorgeous doesn’t either.

“Ethan and the band are playing at The Point tonight so everyone is meeting over there. Josh and Kelly will be there. Mom and Dad are stopping by later when they get back from Birmingham,” she looked at her phone in her hand. “Which should be any time.”

“Is Ev—?” I started to say ask but couldn’t finish her name.

Truth was, I hadn’t spoken her name out loud since I left. I always carried a picture of her in my wallet, the one of us on sitting on the tailgate of my truck, and a few years ago I was paying for dinner when the waitress asked her name as she pointed at the picture, I couldn’t even manage to say it, all that came out was. “Oh that’s…my girl.”

Frankie looked back at me as she pulled me back down the stairs with her, giving me another cheerful smile I couldn’t return. “Of course she’ll be there, she’s singing tonight.” she glanced up under her eyelashes to see my smirk.

Oh, this I have to see
.

“Evie’s singing?” I gasped. “You have to be fucking kidding me. She’s not nervous?”

The Evie I knew was too introverted for that. She had a beautiful voice but usually only sang in front of Ethan and me when we were younger.

“Not by choice,” Frankie clarified. “We got her drunk first. Ethan had to beg. You know Evie.”

I just shook my head slowly. I knew exactly what she meant.

Evie always cared too much for everyone’s feelings but her own, part of the reason why I left. I wanted to give her a chance to fall in love if she wanted to without feeling as if she had to pick me because everyone thought we should be together. Or because we foolishly slept together one night.

Don’t get me wrong, I desperately wanted Evie to pick me but I didn’t want her to ever feel she had to, if that makes any sense at all.

“No time to talk about this now though. We have to get over there soon. Ethan could use your help you know.” Frankie hedged, smiling. “He missed you. We all did.”

I nodded as I slipped on the clean shirt just before we walked out the door.

“I gotta go meet Evie. You remember where The Point is, right?” Just as we were leaving, she reached for her bag by the table and a tiny black dress hanging on the door.

If that dress was what Evie is wearing, I’m definitely going!

“Yeah,” my hand ran over my jaw. “I remember.”

Once I got to The Point, I found Ethan. He hugged me but thankfully didn’t start with the awkward questions. Ethan was always a great guy. He would do anything for anyone, just like his sister Evie. I couldn’t ask for a better man to be dating Frankie.

I got straight to work helping Ethan tune the guitars and set up the sound equipment. It was good to see all the guys again. I missed everyone so much, not as much as Evie, but I missed them.

When I had a chance to look toward the field behind the bar, it was filling up quickly.

The Point, which was the only bar in Pinckard, was a local hangout for everyone—under age or not. When local bands wanted to play, they had a stage off the back of the bar. They opened the doors of the bar and threw one hell of a party. We used to party here in high school before I left. It was always one of Evie’s favorite places to hang out on the weekends because of the concerts. Ethan and I started a band when we were in high school, playing nearly every Friday night. We attracted some rather large crowds back then and it appeared Ethan hadn’t lost the touch. Part of me was glad he hadn’t lost his drive for music.

It was then that I realized I forgot what it was like to be home. The summer concerts, the smells of the fresh cut grass, the warm humid summer nights…did I mention the bugs? One thing I did not miss. Although it was better than those fucking spiders in Iraq that looked like they could swallow a goddamn cat whole, these bugs were still a reminder that I was back in my own territory.

After slapping a bird-sized mosquito off my arm, I noticed Frankie pull in.

“Grayson!” I caught my already intoxicated sister as she flew through the air at me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck.

“Jesus Frankie, how much have you had to drink since I left the house?” I put my hands on her shoulders to keep her from jumping anymore; she reeked of tequila and limes. I began to wonder if she took a bath in it or how in the hell she actually functioned enough to operate a manual transmission on the way here.

“Oh, uh,” she tapped her index finger on her lips for a moment. “Hell, I don’t know.” She said waving her hands around. “Can’t I just be happy that my little brother is finally home? Besides, I had to calm Evie down somehow.”

“Did you tell her I was here?” I could feel my heart racing as I waited for her to answer.

She smiled and shook her head no. “No, I was waiting until after the concert.”

We walked back into the bar and ordered a drink just as Ethan came walking up. He leaned down and gave Frankie a kiss. She giggled and reached up to hug him. I heard him ask her how much she had to drink as well. She really did smell as though she bathed in the shit.

“Okay!” she huffed, wiping her hands down her jeans. “I spilled some on my jeans!” She looked down at the skintight jeans. “They make my ass look good so I refused to change.”