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Authors: Pro Se Press

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BOOK: A Week In Hel
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He looked at me and then
gave her the eye. “Yeah, it’s all here.”

He stuffed the cash in the
front pocket of his pants. “I’m gonna go pay my bill.” He stomped
off in the direction of the restaurant.


Are we done here or did you
want to get it on?”

She swiveled her hips and
shook her tits at me.


I prefer women who bathe.
How’d ya get in the truck?”


It was
unlocked.”


Beat it. If you’re here
when I finish my steak, I’ll roust your ass, and have you run in
for that wallet. Don’t stop to look for any unlocked
doors.”

I heeled it back to the
restaurant. When I went in, the guy was explaining to the waitress,
who seemed thankful not to have to pay for his meal out of her
tips. I noticed as I walked by that he was also purchasing a
sticker for his cab that depicted a small green lizard behind a
barred red circle—No lot lizards.

I made my table, but Candi
was gone. I looked around the joint but something told me she was
long gone. I stuffed a hand in my jacket pocket, and I knew how
she’d got gone—She’d lifted my keys.

I went to the door we’d come
in, and sure enough my car was gone. Damn. I should have just let
that alone and put her in the corner for filing a false report.
What was I thinking? What was I gonna tell the cop who took the
report? I should be smarter than that.

I went to the counter and
gaped over it to the shelf behind. I saw a phone ten feet to the
left. I walked down the counter, then reached over and grabbed the
old table model.

I glanced at my watch, it
was almost shift change.I was going to call C.C.P.D. and have one
of the guys come get me.

Behind me, the bell on the
door jingled and I turned around. There stood a young black man
wearing Champion City Blues. I lowered the phone and went to
him.


Hey, I’m Officer Thurman
Dicke. Can I bother you for a ride? My girl hooked my car—she had
an emergency.”

I took out my wallet and
showed him my badge and ID. He took it and examined it closely
before handing it back.

He offered me a hand and
smiled broad.


John Jones. You know I
don’t believe that shit for a minute?”

I nodded.


Look man, I went out to
grab a guy who ran off without paying his bill. It’s a long story
but some lot Lizard got his wallet and so we rousted her to get it
back.”


Sounds
complicated.”


More than you
know.”


Where d’you
live?”


Shawnee Hotel downtown, but
the girl lives at 321 South Center.”

He nodded and gave a look
around the dining room before he turned back to the
door.


Alright man, let’s go do
this before I remember that I’m hungry, tired, and off
duty.”

We headed for the door, but
the waitress stepped in front of me. “What about your
food?”

I frowned, “Is it ready?”
She started to shake her head. “Changed my mind.” I brushed past
her on the way out the door behind Jones.

I caught up with him and we
walked out to his cruiser, a ’72 Dodge that had seen better
days.

I grinned in spite of
myself.


What, you don’t like my
ride?”


No, not that, but last year
they sold off a bunch of cruisers just because somebody at the
Sheriff’s Office decided that they needed to be driving Caprices
instead of Crown Vic’s—then they issue a guy who has to sit all day
long in a cruiser the oldest piece of shit they got.”


Hey, watch your mouth.
Maisey might not be pretty, but she’s got it where it
counts.”

We got in and he started up
the engine, which purred with a little chug at idle. I nodded at
him and a slow grin spread across his face. He pulled out of the
space and hit the gas as we headed for the entrance. The engine
whined like an Indy car.


I’ll say she’s got
it.”


Teach you to talk mean
about my Maisey.”

He drove us out of the lot
and around the service road to the west bound on ramp for the
highway. We smoked ol’ Maisey back into town, eyes peeled for my
ride and any sign of Candi Apple Pink. I gave Jones the lowdown on
Candi and he agreed that she was trouble, but not yet guilty of
anything more than joyriding—both my car and my nerves.

I can’t say the same for the
boys from The Outfit, or the drone whose face I’d remodeled. The
beauty of beating on criminals is that they can’t
complain.

When we arrived at Center
Street, much to my surprise, the little Karman Ghia was toward the
low end of the block, and my ride was in the driveway at 321.
Parked neat like it was used to being there.


See that Ghia down there,
it’s the one that flirted with me earlier,” I said
slowly.


Well let’s see what I can
shake out of that little ashtray,” Jones growled through a smug
grin.


Have fun. I’m getting in my
ride and going home,” I reached for the escape hatch.


What about your cupcake?”
Jones sober tone was almost enough to send me over the
edge.


I’m going on a diet
starting right now.”

I had no more than stepped
out of the cruiser and shut the door when that Ghia took flight.
The second I stepped away Jones took up the chase. He was right.
Maisey had it where it counted.

There were no lights on in
the little shotgun house, so I went to my ride and tried the door.
To my surprise, it was unlocked. I’m no dumbass, and I was on edge
anyway, so I drew my gun and made a fast check of the back seat
before I got in the car.

Nothing.

Why did I have the sneaking
suspicion that I was missing something very important?

I sat down into the driver’s
seat and pulled the door closed. Out of habit, I felt my pocket for
the keys. When they weren’t there, I reached for the ignition, and
was relieved to find them hanging there. Odd, like maybe she’d been
planning to just run into the house and come right back.

I turned on the interior
light and looked around. I was considering checking under the hood
and opening the boot, when the stupidity of it started to give me
the willies.

I turned the key and dropped
it into reverse as soon as it fired up. I backed out of the
driveway and slipped the transmission into drive. Just as I was
about to put pedal to metal, Candi was there. Where’d she come
from? Why didn’t I run her over and save myself the trouble? Why’d
I stop and unlock the door? I have no idea.

She just stood there in the
road with a large red duffle bag hung on her shoulder, cradling it
like it was weighing her down. She looked lost and
terrified.

She got in and I hit the
gas.


I ought to run you downtown
for taking my car.”

She gave me those brown
eyes. “I really am sorry, can you please just drop me off at the
bus station?”

I was steamed and she wasn’t
getting off that easy. “Nope, I got questions, and I’m going to get
answers. Way I figger it so far is one of your bosses got to you
right after I left White Walls, and you told them something to get
‘em off your back. Or you promised to deliver up the cop that
rousted the joint.”

She hit me with the brown
headlights. This time they were wet, and pulling my heart-strings
again. I wanted to backhand her right in the mouth.


Take me someplace safe, and
I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

I was getting to the end of
my rope with her. I had no doubt she’d tell me anything I wanted to
hear just to drag out the chance of my sympathetic participation in
her game, whatever it was. I knew I should have pulled over and set
her sexy little can out on the curb, like this week’s garbage, but
I couldn’t. Not until she was square with the house again, but her
tab just kept running up.

I was wrestling with what to
do with her like playing beach blanket bingo with a squid. Should I
wash my hands of her? Turn her in? For what, taking my car? Taking
me for a ride? So far, all I had her for was having my number,
which aside from pissing me off, wasn’t really a crime.


I know I’m going to regret
this, but I’m taking you to my place.”


You got any food? I’m
hungry.” she was soft voiced and pathetic, like she really meant
it.

I’m a bachelor. I mostly eat
out and don’t keep much on hand. I knew the only food at my place
was a half-eaten sub from Shifty’s, and a couple of day old
doughnuts.


Since I been with you, I’ve
gotten bad service at every dive in this burg save one.”

I should have thought of
this before, but like I said—I’m a bit slow sometimes, especially
where very pretty girls are concerned.

I drove into Pleasant Hill,
thinking about her. I was saved by the small glowing sign that
said, “Billy Goat’s Tavern.” I slowed the car and turned into the
lot. I parked in the back, so nobody driving by could see my
ride.

I got out of the car and
Candi did likewise. She brought that big damned duffle bag, and she
was struggling with its weight.


You can leave that here,
unless you’re planning to scat again.” I said it slow, and kind of
mean, but I wasn’t putting it past her.


I’d rather hold on to it.”
She gave me her sexy smile and batted her eyes.


I’d rather you didn’t.” I
took the bag off her shoulder and was stunned by the weight. It was
fifty, maybe sixty pounds easy.


Damn, what’s in here—a
body?”

She gave me a smug little
smile, “Nope, about four million dollars.”

I laughed. I knew she was
putting me on. How could she not be? She was a bar maid from
Pleasant Hill.


It’ll be safe in here.” I
unlocked the boot and dropped the bag in.

Now that I think about it,
the bag didn’t roll or settle, and it wasn’t soft. I should have
unzipped it and took a look inside. Damn.

I shut the boot and we went
inside.


Boy, don’t you know we
about give you up for dead?” Billy croaked as I came through the
door.

I gave him the nod,
affectionate condemnation was just his way. Billy was my Aunt
Hazel’s second husband. He was mean and coarse on the surface, but
if anybody ever tried to hurt Hazel, he’d carve his name in their
gizzard. A lot of Marines left something in Korea. Billy left the
warm fuzzy part.


You better brace up;
Hazel’s gonna mother the hell out of you,” he growled, giving me
the eye. Then he noticed Candi standing beside me. She wasn’t
exactly hiding, but she was going out of her way to be
inconspicuous. When his eyes fell on her, a little fire started to
burn behind them, and he mapped out every inch of her.

I knew what was coming, and
there is no way to shut him up once he gets started. Luckily, Hazel
walked in from the kitchen just as he was getting warmed
up.


Looky here what a fine
little split tail you brung to see your Uncle Billy.” The heat
started to run up the back of my neck, and Candi was blushing like
a beet in spite of herself.


Don’t mind him, honey. If
he had any sense I’d let him out more often,” Hazel hissed at
Billy, and shot him a look that would have killed a lesser
man.


It’s quite all right. I get
worse than that all the time. You do when you work in a bar,” Candi
said in a no nonsense sort of way; serious enough to let everyone
know that pretty didn’t mean fragile by any means.


This is Candace, a friend I
met earlier today. We’d like to have something to eat before I take
her home.” I didn’t lie, but the whole truth was neither pretty,
nor anyone’s business. I was about to grab Candi by the arm and
steer her toward the back, when to my surprise she took me by the
hand and smiled at Hazel in some girly espionage sort of way. Hazel
began to glow, and I could swear I heard an organ.


Do you have anything in a
quiet little corner?”


There’s nobody in the party
room,” Hazel said through a girlish grin I hadn’t seen in years.
Uncle Billy may have never seen it, because her sudden swell was
visually agitating him, which was almost funny in a pathetic sort
of way.


Take me to the party room,”
Candi simpered, giving me the eye and turning her wiles up on
high.

I led her through the
barroom and into the small party room in the rear left corner of
the building. We sat in the farthest corner. I had my back to the
wall facing the door. Candi tried to sit beside me, but I checked
the chair and directed her to sit across the table where I could
keep an eye on her.


Look you might have my aunt
snowed, but you and I both know this ain’t no social call. You owe
me some answers, and I want the truth. I’m not so sure what you’re
into, but right now it ain’t lookin’ too good.”

BOOK: A Week In Hel
8.62Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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