A Shade Of Vampire 4: A Shadow Of Light (12 page)

Since my confrontation with him, Aiden kept me locked in my bedroom. The only person coming and going was Zinnia, and she usually came only to bring me food or take the dirty dishes away. During this time, she would barely speak to me or even look at me.

“How long is he going to keep me here?” I asked once after she
had brought me breakfast on a tray. It was the morning of the second day after my botched escape attempt.

She glared at me. “Until you die
, I hope. Ben gave up his life in order to get you safely back here, and
this
is how you repay him? By bolting the first chance you get so you could go back to that vampire boyfriend of yours?”

“You don’t know Ben as well as I
did, Zinnia. You weren’t there with him at The Oasis. He didn’t risk his life to get me back here. He gave it up so I could be happy, so I could be with Derek.” I was choking up with tears at the memory of my best friend.

“Ben was loyal to the cause of the hunters. He never would’ve wanted you to end up with Derek.”

“Really? Is that why he chose to stay with me at The Shade instead of returning here? Is that why he agreed to give me away on my wedding day, with Derek as my groom?”

Her eyes widened. “You
married
Derek Novak? Your father knows this?”

I shook my head. “
I am engaged to Derek. I was abducted and taken to The Oasis before we could actually get married.”

Zinnia narrowed her eyes at me, the disgust and criticism in her voice unmistakable when she said, “What is wrong with you?”

“I don’t need to explain myself to you. I want to see my father.”

“He doesn’t need to explain himself to you either. You may be Reuben’s daughter, but you’re nothing like him.”

Thank heavens for that.
I grimaced. I never could quite get used to what they called my father at hunter headquarters.
Reuben.
I wondered what kind of a life my father had lived even before my mother went crazy and became a vampire.
Aiden and Reuben—two sides of a coin, my father’s double life—both sides of him a complete mystery to me.

Zinnia left me with one final glare. I didn’t expect Aiden to arrive at all, knowing that Zinnia most likely wouldn’t deliver my message to him, but later that afternoon, he stepped into the bedroom, looking rather uncomfortable.

“So Zinnia did send you my message after all…”

“You sent me a message through Zinnia? She didn’t tell me anything… I just arrived from a business trip abroad. Has she been taking care of you?”

I was taken aback by the idea that he came to me out of his own volition. “Yeah. She’s been feeding me regularly, if that’s what you mean by taking care of me.”

“So what was your message?”

“I told her to let you know that I wanted to have a word with you.”

“Well,
what do you want to talk about?”

“You have to realize that I will jump at any chance I get to find Derek. You locking me up here and keeping me from doing that only makes me want to do it more. That’s like Raising Teenagers 101.”

“You’re eighteen, Sofia. Technically, you’re already considered an adult.”

“So treat me like one. Let me make my own decisions and my own mistakes. This is
my
life, a life you chose not to be a part of for the past nine years. Now that I have my own mind and have been making my own decisions, you can’t just step in and call the shots.”

One corner of his lips twitched as he nodded. “I understand what you’re saying, Sofia, but I’m doing what I believe is best for you, and in that, I cannot waver. I know the vampires far more than you do, and in good conscience as your father, I cannot allow you to throw your life away because of this infatuation you have toward this creature. It doesn’t matter how much you love him, Sofia. You can love a vampire and still find that your love doesn’t keep
him from being a monster.”

There was so much sadness in his voice, almost as if he
was going through what he was saying himself. I wondered once again if this reaction of his had anything to do with Ingrid knowing how to get to that garden. Not quite sure if I wanted to clarify my musings, I crawled to the edge of the bed and sat over it. “Every day you keep me apart from him, you’re killing a part of me.”

He eyed me and I could swear that he somehow understood what I was trying to get through his thick, stubborn hunter skull. “I can’t give you what you want, but I can give you something close.”

He pushed the door wide open and I couldn’t help but gasp in horror when a young woman lurched into my room.

I blinked my eyes
several times to make sure that I wasn’t just seeing things, but sure enough, she was standing right there in front of me, a ghost from the past, someone I held close to heart.

The Seer of
The Shade herself. Vivienne Novak.

A lockout that eventually morphed into a riot. A siege at the port. A kingdom on the brink of civil war while still facing an ongoing threat of an attack from outside forces.

Fabulous
. Just fabulous.

After Natalie so wonderfully summed up the state of
The Shade, I really had no idea what to do other than to walk away.

“Where are you going?”

I didn’t even know who among the people behind me asked the question. I didn’t care anymore. I knew that if I handled the situation head-on and tried to either quell the riot or retake the port, I wasn’t going to be able to do it without bloodshed. The darkness was close to ruining me and I was aware of it.

“I am going to take a drive.”

“There’s a riot and a siege going on, Derek.” Xavier stepped forward, attempting to be the voice of reason. “Is this really the time to improve your driving skills?”

I pointed at Sam and Kyle. “You two work with Gavin and Ian to figure out how to quell this stupid riot.” I then pointed at Xavier and Cameron. “Call in all the vampires who are still with us. Those who want to remain neutral have that option. At least we’ll know who is
really
with us. Come up with a plan of action on what to do about the siege at the port.” I then cast a pleading look at the great witch herself. “Corrine, please escort Natalie to The Sanctuary and treat her as our esteemed guest while she is stuck here at The Shade.”

“What about me?” Ashley pointed at herself.

Of all the people present, she reminded me of Sofia the most and I knew that she was one who would never shy away from speaking her mind. “Would you like to go on a joyride with me?”

A smile lit up
the blonde’s beautiful face. “Yes! Let’s escape all this craziness.” She then looked Sam’s way as if to ask his permission. He let her go, more perhaps out of respect for me than trust for either one of us.

“
Derek, we need you to be a leader right now…” Cameron said desperately. “This is no time for…”

“Let him go,” Corrine cut him off. “He needs to win the battle inside before he can
the war with the outward forces.”

I gave her a grateful look
. She understood what the separation from Sofia was doing to me and what I was up against.

Of course, none of them dared to question the witch, knowing how the entire island’s security was on her shoulders. Corrine rarely imposed her opinions on us, but when she did, we dared not cross her.

Ashley and I made our way to a wide open field west of the island where a red convertible was located. We used it for practice drives mostly or whenever we just wanted to feel the night air blowing against our faces. It usually was Sofia seated on the passenger’s seat beside me, screeching her lungs out because of my crazy driving, often reminding me that she wasn’t immortal and that she was likely going to get killed if I didn’t somehow fix my driving. I didn’t really care much about the driving as much as I enjoyed having her react the way she did.

“You miss her, don’t you?” Ashley asked me after we settled into our seats
.

I gripped the steering wheel
hard as if it would somehow help give me some semblance of control over everything going on around me.

“I’ve had her blood, Ash
ley,” I admitted. I ignored her gasp and went on. “She made me drink it to heal me quicker after Borys tortured me. I didn’t want to, but… I
crave
her so much. I could barely think straight, because all I could really think about was how much I want another taste of her blood.”

“I know Sofia…” Ashley spoke softly, carefully weighing her words. “She would most likely let you have all the blood you want. That’s how much she loves you.”

“I know. That’s exactly what she did when she offered her neck up to me back at hawk territory. I knew then that this couldn’t possibly work. Corrine keeps telling me to get Sofia back, but how? What kind of man would I be to prey on her? She doesn’t deserve that.”

“You see…that’s just
it
.”

I turned my head to the side wondering what Ashley was getting at. “What?”

“You’re not the same person apart from her than when you’re with her. With Sofia, you’re a better man. There was a time when you couldn’t have given a damn if it was wrong or right. As long as a woman gives you her consent—and in your darkest moments, even when she doesn’t—you don’t have any qualms about sucking blood out of a woman. Why then are you so resistant to the idea of having Sofia’s blood when she so willingly offers it to you?”

“Were you not listening to me
?” I slammed my palms over the steering wheel in frustration. “I love her! I can’t keep doing that to her!”

Ashley straightened up on her seat and slightly twisted her slim
body on the passenger seat so she could face me. “If there’s anyone who’s stood witness to the kind of love you two have for each other, it’s me. Sofia took a wooden stake for you, Derek—one that I tried to stab you with. You went against your own father and took countless lashes on her behalf. It’s hard for me to believe that
this
is what’s going to tear the two of you apart. It’s just plain insanity. Bring this place back to some semblance of sanity, get back control of the port and find a way to get Sofia back here. I’m sure if we put our heads together, we could somehow narrow down the search and find the hunter territory.”

“
She’s not coming back. We should just accept that.” Even as I said the words, I found it hard to swallow. “Besides, what kind of a life would she live if she returned? What if I end up destroying her?”

“What if the love you have for each other is powerful enough to keep that from happening?” Ashley shot right back at me. “Don’t be a fool, Derek. Whether you admit it or not, you can’t really survive without her, so you might as well stop acting like a pathetic sap and get her back.”

I swallowed hard. To that, I didn’t have a response. I knew what Ashley was saying was true.

“Let’s go back.”

“We’re no longer going for a drive?” Ashley asked, tapping her palms over the dashboard.

“No.” I shook my head. “We have a riot to stop and a port to retake. Get ready for a fight, baby vamp.”

Her face lit up in a wide grin. “That’s what I’m talking about!” she exclaimed.

At that very moment, I remembered a promise I gave Sofia not too long ago, the promise that came with the heart-shaped diamond pendant I
had given to her as a gift.
Take it as a promise from me—a promise that I will find a way to be with you.

I wondered if this really would be
a promise I had to break.

“Sofia…” Tears began rushing down Vivienne’s face. She stumbled forward as I stood up from the bed to embrace her. When we hugged, I realized how thin she was, how emaciated. Her skin was deathly pale and lacking all luster. Her lips were chapped and dry and she had scars all over her arms.

“What have
they done to you?” I whispered.

She shook her head. “Nothing. They’ve been good to me, Sofia. I’m really glad to see you again. Have they been treating you well?”

We pulled apart from each other and I gave my father a suspicious look. “Yes, Viv. I’m fine. We thought you were dead, Vivienne. We had a ceremony for you at the Vale and everything.”

She stared blankly at me almost as if she had no idea what I was talking about. “Dead? Me? Of course not… I just… Well, it doesn’t matter. You’re here now.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward a set of two couches with a round coffee table in between located near the windows of my bedroom. “Let’s catch up. Tell me everything that’s been going on since you came here to headquarters.”

I sat uncomfortably on my seat, wondering what was wrong with Vivienne. I looked at my father and found him nodding my way.

“I’ll leave you two to catch up?” he asked cordially.

I couldn’t help but frown as he left without waiting for my consent. I once again shifted my attention to Vivienne who seemed oddly perky—something she was never known to be back at The Shade. Vivienne was mysterious, serious and serene. She was calm and collected in a way no one I knew was. This Vivienne sitting across me was antsy and anxious. My stomach knotted at the suspicions rising up in my mind.
What have they done to you, Vivienne?

“Derek was a mess after he found out that you died. He almost killed Ashley because of how the darkness took over him. What
’s happened to you?”

“Derek…” The name seemed to register something in her mind. She shook her head slowly. “He’s my brother. I was wrong about him, Sofia. I thought he was some sort of savior. I was convinced that he was a hero, but I was wrong. I never should’ve helped you return to
The Shade.” Agitation marred her lovely face even as she gripped both my hands. “I’m so sorry, Sofia. I’m sorry for anything he might’ve put you through after you returned.”

“Vivienne, Derek has been good to me. He
loves
me. You know that.”

She nodded and for a moment, I actually thought that she was about to make sense, but she just looked at me with
a knowing expression on her face—almost as if she held pity for me. “I understand. It’s going to take a while before you can recover from the trauma he’s put you through. The denial is completely natural.”

I was trying my hardest not to slap her
across the face so she would start making sense.
What has gotten into you?
“We’re talking about Derek, Vivienne.
Your twin.
The same man who rescued you from Borys Maslen.”

H
orror showed in her eyes at the mention of Borys. “They told me that Borys got to you too. That’s why we need to stay here, Sofia. We’re safer here. Borys can’t get to us if we stay here. Sofia, you can’t leave this place. If Borys gets his hands on you, it’s going to be so much worse than what you had to go through with Derek.”

I leaned back on the couch, my eyes fixed on Vivienne. “What have they don
e to you? It’s like you’ve been brainwashed…”

At that, Vivienne chuckled like it was
the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard of. Her brilliant blue eyes settled on me with so much compassion. She brushed a hand over the back of my hand. “No, Sofia, it’s
you
who’s been brainwashed.”

The idea was so hilarious I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Is that what my father thinks, Vivienne? That I was brainwashed at
The Shade so I would love Derek?” I couldn’t hold back the snickers escaping through my lips. It was like I was defending against the frustration I felt inside. I found myself deeply concerned for Vivienne.
This isn’t her. This is just a shell spouting out words placed there by other people.

“You look tired, Vivienne.”

She heaved a sigh and nodded. “That’s because I am.”

“Would you like to lie down and rest?” I waved an arm toward the bed.

She looked at the bed longingly. “Yes please, and if I could have more blood… I’m thirsty.”

“I’ll make sure they bring you some. Is there anything else you need?”

She shook her head as she stood up and dragged herself to the bed. Without another word, she laid her head on the pillow. Within a couple of minutes, she was fast asleep.

She slept for hours.

Zinnia entered to bring me breakfast just as I pulled the drapes over the windows to protect Vivienne from the sunlight.

Zinnia stared with disdain at Vivienne.

“What have you guys been doing to her? She’s not the Vivienne I knew back at The Shade…”

Zinnia shrugged. “
I thought she was dead. Even Ben thought she was dead. He was the last one to interrogate and torture her before what was supposed to be her execution.”

I gulped at the idea of Ben torturing Vivienne. As much as I wanted not to believe it, I knew how much he hated vampires after what Claudia
had put him through at The Shade. It was the reason he became a hunter in the first place.

“So you admit it… She was tortured.”

Zinnia smirked. “What do you think vampires go through here, Sofia? They are interrogated and tortured for any information about their respective covens and once we get as much as we can from them, we have them executed—the exact same thing your mother is going through right now.”

My face paled. “Ingrid?”

“After the stunt she pulled helping you escape, she fell from Reuben’s good graces.”

“May I see her?”

Zinnia shrugged. “Reuben’s calling all the shots, but if he goes on keeping all these vamps alive, I doubt the higher authorities will tolerate it much longer.”

The idea that my father wasn’t some sort of
untouchable big shot with the hunters was something new. It never dawned on me that he could actually get in trouble for what he was doing. I also knew that the only real reason these vampires were still alive was because of me.

“Zinnia…” I called out just as she was about to leave. “Could you have some blood brought in for Vivienne please?”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because if you don’t, I just might have to feed her mine. Look at her… She looks awful.”

Zinnia stared at me like she usually did when I mentioned vampires feeding on my blood. “What is with you and treating your blood like it’s orange juice?” She frowned and shook her head in exasperation. “She can’t suck your blood. Her fangs have been pulled out.”

“Well, can’t I just cut myself and
make her drink the blood I drain out of myself?”

“You’re insane. It baffles me still how you could be in any way related to Reuben.” She waved her hand midair. “All we have is animal blood.”

“That’s fine. Vivienne is used to animal blood.”

Zinnia rolled her eyes and turned her back on me. I was sure t
hat she wasn’t going to fulfill my request, but when she returned for my breakfast dishes, she had two glasses of blood with her.

It took another couple of hours
before Vivienne began stirring. At first, I ignored her, thinking that she was just having a dream. All of a sudden, however, she began to take erratic, heavy breaths. She started whimpering and it didn’t take long before the whimpers turned into screams, tears running down her cheeks.

I rushed to her side and began shaking her awake. “Vivienne! Wake up!”

She jolted up in bed, her eyes wide with terror as she began taking in her surroundings. She set her eyes on me and sighed with relief before she broke out into uncontrollable sobs. “Sofia…you’re here.”

“Yes… I’m here
.” I nodded as I pulled her into a tight embrace.

Trembling, she whispered directly into my ear. “You still have my memories, don’t you, Sofia? Please…please…”

She paused and I found myself holding my breath as I awaited her request. “What is it, Vivienne? What do you want from me?”

“Remind me who I am.”