A Hunted Man (The Men of Halfway House) (46 page)

Cam pulled off the top and separated the tissue paper to reveal the gift. The smile slid off his face. His heart beat furiously, and he found it difficult to swallow or voice words with the lump in his throat. He couldn't focus on anything but the face staring back at him in the picture of the one person from his past who had loved him, standing alongside a younger, smaller version of himself holding a ribbon.

His eyes burned as he turned to Hunter with a questioning look.

Hunter leaned over and placed a tender kiss on Cam's lips. "You said you didn't have any pictures of your mom. I remember you told me you entered that contest with her and got fifth place. I know local papers sometimes publish stuff like that so I did some poking around and found a newspaper that had published an article on it. They didn't have the negatives in archive anymore but they did have the actual photograph from that day so I was able to get it. We can probably get it scanned and enlarged—"

"It's perfect," Cam interrupted, his voice thick with emotion. "Just perfect." He ghosted his fingers over the glass. A flood of memories invaded his mind, his mother's face now sharply focused in each of them. Every line of detail, every hair, even the sound of her voice, the laughter, outfits she wore, and the smell of her soft perfume. All triggered by a simple reminder of her face in this picture and the smile full of joy. He closed his eyes and inhaled a shaky breath as he tried to steady himself.

Hunter reached over and took the picture frame from the box. "I didn't want to go with a fancy frame until we were at the new place and knew what would go better with the room, so we can change this."

Cam nodded. He didn't care if the frame matched or not, it was going on display, front and center, in their new home. He took the frame Hunter offered and held it close to his chest as Hunter pulled out a laminated newspaper clipping.

"The reporter actually had a few copies of the newspaper because it was her first published article. We can't take this with us since it has your name on it, but I wanted you to be able to read it before we left."

Cam nodded again and took the newspaper cutout. Still clutching the framed photo to his chest, he read the short article reporting on the contest and smiled when he saw his mom's name listed with his at the close of the clipping. He gently placed the picture frame back in the box and returned the article to Hunter. He didn't trust his shaky hands to move the box anywhere, so he handed that to Hunter as well.

Hunter took the box and set it on the nightstand. He turned and delivered a soft kiss on Cam's lips. "Happy birthday," he whispered.

Cam's vision blurred, he couldn't contain his emotions anymore. He wrapped his arms around Hunter and hid his face in the crook of Hunter's neck. His body uncontrollably shook with a tidal wave of emotion swirling within. Hunter's arms tightened around him, pulling him closer as he placed his hand on Cam's lower back. Hunter shifted to lay flat on the bed, pulling Cam on top of him. He threw the sheets over them and wrapped his arms protectively around Cam, holding him closer.

After some time, Cam finally settled himself and pulled back to look at Hunter. He ran his fingers through Hunter's hair and gazed into the pool of silver staring back at him. "So, how about that blow job?"

With a quick shift of arms and legs, Hunter flipped Cam on the bed so he was flat on his back. He stared at Cam intently. It didn't seem as if he was doing so to ponder his next move, rather, it was as if he was drilling into Cam's soul, breaking through that iron barrier before letting his words reach the protected core.

"I want more than that."

It took every ounce of energy Cam had to keep his guard up. The gift had taken a sledgehammer to his shield and left him vulnerable. He knew what Hunter wanted, but he had been guarded for so long, he wasn't sure how it felt to allow himself to just…be.

"My mom always told me, don't settle, be with the person you can't live without. For me, that's you," Hunter said with conviction.

"You're going in for the kill, aren't you?" Cam tried to tease, knowing Hunter had him right where he wanted him.

"When I'm away from you for too long, I can't stand it. It's as if I can't breathe."

His chest tightened and his breath quickened. His now fragile shield wavered. He had spent years building it, and this man had managed to chip away at it, little by little. Hunter continued to stare at him, more determined than usual, mentally pounding at that cracked iron door, seeking entrance.

"Do you know I still have that first voice mail you left me? I listen to it when I need to hear your voice just to function." Hunter bent and kissed Cameron's lips, his cheek, then his neck. "Please let me in," he said on a broken whisper.

When he pulled back, the declaration of love and need screaming from Hunter's gaze was the final blow that broke Cam's protective shield.

Cam reached up to touch Hunter's face with a trembling hand. He ghosted his fingers over Hunter's features, afraid to allow his fingertips to make contact. He hesitated, worried the slightest touch would make Hunter disappear in a puff of smoke and leave him alone, unprotected, and lost.

Hunter slowly wrapped his fingers around Cam's wrist and pulled his hand toward his face. He kissed Cam's fingers then his palm. Hunter closed his eyes when he pressed Cam's hand to his cheek.

He released a shaky breath when his fingers touched Hunter's heated skin. He would usually push Hunter away with humor or sarcasm when his protective armor chipped. This time, he ran his hand behind Hunter's neck and tugged him forward for a deep, all-consuming kiss. Cam kissed him with desperation and little grace—aggressive, messy, demanding and frantic—as he tried to draw strength from Hunter. He grabbed and pulled Hunter closer, his nails scraped across Hunter's scalp, his neck. Cam ignored the groan from Hunter and continued to pull, suck, bite, and devour until he could no longer breathe.

They separated, gasping for air. Cam's body began to shake uncontrollably on the brink of losing control. He fought it, trying to keep himself together just as he had for so many years.

"Let go," Hunter whispered in his ear, peppering kisses along his neck as he wrapped his arms around Cam. "I'm here. You're safe."

Cam wasn't sure which set of words unlatched the dam before a flood of emotions unexpectedly surged through his body. His breath sped uncontrollably and his body stiffened as anger burst to the surface. He had been robbed of so many years—his life, his family, and innocence. His blood boiled and heated his skin. He began to wildly twitch, his arms, his legs, all jerked as he tried to contain the untamed fury that coursed through his body. He threw his head back farther into the pillow, screwed his eyes shut, and gritted his teeth to hold back the yell as he fought the urge to give in to the series of still shots flickering through his mind, mocking him with so much he had missed in life.

He slammed the mental door shut on the anger only to have fear throw another door open.

He gasped as a chill rose in his body and tightened his throat. He tried to fight the ghosts that haunted him, the insecurity of whether he could handle a normal life after so much time, but worst of all, of losing this treasure that held him so closely. His body shuddered violently. His arms pushed against the hold encasing him, his legs kicked aggressively, and his heart slammed against his chest wanting to break free.

Hunter held him tighter as the tremors rippled throughout his limbs. Cam's body was no longer his own, it became a vessel that unleashed a decade of dormant pain. A scream tore from his lips as the rage ripped through him. The cage of hard muscles and flesh surrounding him tightened, comforting him while his own body continued to resist and fight. His body began to spasm. His skin heated and the pressure in his neck threatened to rupture the corded veins as he continued to scream. Sweat burst from every pore, trickling into his eyes, stinging and blurring his vision.

A single tear tracked down his cheek when his voice abandoned him, no longer able to yell at the fear that threatened to break him apart.

The iron grip around him tightened further, the legs of steel wrapped around his own held him closer, and the gentle kisses on his skin continued between whispers of comfort.

He heard the words again.

Let go
,
I'm here, you're safe
—among the phrases he needed to hear most—
I'm yours
,
I'm not going anywhere
.

He knew the words, had heard them endless times before.

Hunter slowly released his hold on Cam as he continued to mumble words of affection.

Cam gritted his teeth as he fought his flight instinct—the need to run, shut down, and close himself off from everything and everyone. He gripped Hunter closer, losing the will to control himself when the tears surfaced and finally broke free.

Oh, God. Please.

He frantically wrapped his legs around Hunter in a panic to keep him close and prevent his escape. He dug his fingers in Hunter's back as he sobbed, needing him—his body begging for this man's shelter, love, safety, and unwavering strength.

He held on tightly as everything faded to black.

Cam lay weakly in bed, exhaustion weighing down every inch of his body. His arms and legs still wrapped around Hunter. He buried his face at the side of Hunter's neck as shame flooded through him.

Hunter pulled back to look at him but Cam turned away.

"Look at me." Hunter gripped his chin when Cam refused.

Through the burn in his eyes from the flood of tears he had shed, he could see Hunter staring down at him with nothing but love and support. His breath hitched and his throat tightened. He had to look away, for fear of breaking down again.

"I know that was hard for you," Hunter whispered as he brushed a kiss along Cam's jaw.

"It's a weakness," Cam said in a raspy, broken, barely there voice.

"Sometimes being strong means knowing when you need to let go. It scares the hell of out me to think what can happen if you keep all that bottled up inside," he finished with a slight tremble in his voice, inhaling Cam's scent at the crook of his neck. "It's taken me too long to find you. I can't lose you, Cam…please."

Cam reached up and rested his shaky hands on Hunter's arms just as Hunter pulled back to look at him again.

Hunter brushed the hair away from Cam's face and smiled. "I've already told you. You can let go and do what you need to do with me. You're not going to scare me away. If you need to scream, hit, anything, you do that with me. Okay?"

"I'm not hitting you," Cam said, outraged, his voice still cutting in and out.

Hunter brushed his cheek with his thumb. "We'll figure out an outlet that works. Maybe we'll setup a punching bag at the new place. Or maybe we'll wrestle." A playful grin spread across Hunter's face as he waggled his eyebrows.

Cam huffed a laugh. How this man managed to always bring him out of an emotional downward spiral was beyond him. "We could try some angry sex."

Hunter chuckled. "I'm pretty much marked all over in some way. I don't think I can handle angry war wounds from you."

"Wuss," he said, looking away.

"Whenever you need to let go, don't be embarrassed to do that with me. It lets me know you trust me. I can handle it, good and bad, okay?"

"Makes me sound needy…I hate that," he finished quietly.

"I like the idea of you needing me," Hunter said as he turned Cam's face to deliver a tender kiss. "It's a two-way street."

Cam ran his fingertips along Hunter's features and down his neck. He couldn't remember ever allowing himself to be so exposed and vulnerable. Without question or hesitation, he loved this man and knew he was blessed Hunter wanted to start a new life with
him
. He wanted to say the words, but he was too raw to go there and didn't want Hunter to think he was saying them out of some post-weakness meltdown. He had never said
I love you
to another man and wanted to make sure that when he said those words to Hunter, they were as strong as the love in his soul for him.

"Make love to me."

"Always," Hunter said breathlessly as he dove in for another brush of lips and sheltered Cam's body with the protective heat of his own.

Their bodies danced against each other in a slow sway, each movement familiar, yielding and unrestrained. Cameron's body sang with the knowing friction of Hunter's touch, the glide of skin, the slow thrust of uncontrolled desire, and each tender kiss. When he finally let himself shatter into a thousand sated pieces, Hunter was there with him, in sync.

He rested his head on Hunter's shoulder as they both tried to settle their breathing. He pulled Hunter flush against his body, needing to feel Hunter's heat against his skin and the hard body as his surrogate shield. Hunter pulled the sheets over them and wrapped his arms protectively around Cam, gifting him with the safety he desperately needed.

He finally eased into the hard-muscled cocoon and let the exhaustion of the night take him into the darkness of sleep.

* * * *

Cam opened his eyes and saw the faint hint of a new day filter into the bedroom.
A new life and a fresh start.
He looked over to the man still resting on the pillow facing him and couldn't resist making contact. He smiled as Hunter leaned into the touch and slowly opened his eyes.

"Since it's officially
tomorrow
, I can say happy birthday," Hunter said, sleep still thick in his voice. He reached out and brushed the hair out of Cameron's eyes. "Good morning."

"Yes, it is," Cam replied matter-of-factly, his voice still a little gravelly from a few hours ago. He ran his fingers down Hunter's neck, finally stopping at his chest, feeling Hunter's heart beat strong against his palm.

"If you don't get out of bed, you're going to miss the sunrise," Hunter said, nestling deeper into the pillow.

"I'm looking right at it." Cam stared at Hunter with a serious expression. He didn't know what he had done in this world to deserve someone who offered him such unconditional love, but he no longer questioned it. With Hunter by his side, he was safe enough to dream of tomorrow and strong enough to face it.