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Authors: Caroline Dunford

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Chapter Twenty

In which a carpet is much to blame

The courses came quick and fast, so that neither Rory nor I had the chance to question Bertram’s ridiculous declaration until the cheeseboard was borne in.

‘If the lady would like to retire to the ladies’ lounge,’ said the waiter, ‘I will serve tea and bring port for the gentlemen.’


This
lady will drink port,’ announced Bertram.

A barely detectable shiver ran through the waiter. ‘As you wish, sir,’ he said in lowered tone.

‘A woman who drinks port and a man who dines with his chauffeur. Ach, the stories you two have started,’ said Rory, helping himself to the port that the waiter had silently and disapprovingly deposited on the table.

‘A lady, if you do not mind,’ I said.

‘Ach, Euphemia, dinnae go getting ideas above yer station,’ said Rory.

I started. ‘Of course,’ I said as contritely as I could. Rory had no idea of my real connections, but the more I socialised above stairs the more I lapsed back into the manner my mother had cultivated in me. I needed to be more careful.

‘I think you are a lady,’ said Bertram.

‘Yes,’ I replied, ‘but you want to embark on a criminal career, so I am not entirely sure your opinion can be counted.’

‘Yes,’ said Rory, ‘what are ye on about?’

‘Remember how I said the new carpet gave me an idea?’ Bertram said.

‘Yes,’ said Rory, ‘it made you want to come down to dinner. And while the pattern is not to my taste either …’

‘No, no, no,’ said Bertram. ‘It gave me an idea about how to steal a body. We could wrap it in the carpet.’

Rory and I regarded him wordlessly.

‘We give the clerk the same treatment he gave me. We knock him on the head, but we remove him from the dock and make him tell us who bribed him. It is the only way we can move forward with this. If we honestly think Fitzroy may still be alive and in danger, then we must make haste to locate him.’

‘Do you know anything about knocking people out?’ I asked.

Bertram rubbed his head. ‘I have first-hand experience. You just need something hard and thwack to the back of the head and they’re out.’

‘Do you not think you might as easily kill them?’ I said.

‘That’s nae the problem,’ said Rory. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. ‘I was a wee bittie wild as a lad. Brawls are common enough among young Highland folk.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Nae, the real problem is how we get to the clerk in the first place.’

‘The docks are open all night,’ said Bertram. ‘We will have to watch and see when he comes on night duty. A man desperate enough to take a bribe is not likely to stay away from his work. He obviously needs the money.’

‘I’ll grant you the docks are quieter at night,’ said Rory, ‘but you really think could get him away in a carpet?’

‘An old carpet,’ said Bertram. ‘One that could have been recently replaced on a ship. We would have to wear overalls, or some sort of dockers’ clothing.’

Rory pondered this. ‘Early morning would probably be best if we were pretending to be from one of the suppliers. They start early, but the docks would be fairly quiet then. It would be risky, aye, but if we acted with enough confidence, it might just work.’

‘Good man!’ exclaimed Bertram.

‘I absolutely forbid it,’ I cried.

‘That’s a bit rich, coming from you, Euphemia,’ said Bertram. ‘You’re the reason we are here in the first place.’

‘I really do appreciate all the support you have both given me,’ I said, ‘but I cannot let you endanger yourselves in this way.’

‘So you are not fundamentally opposed to us breaking the law?’ said Rory.

I blushed.

‘Of course I am,’ I said, though it had been the furthest thing from my mind.

Rory eyed me closely. ‘Aye, right.’

He turned to Bertram. ‘She’s just upset because she thinks we willnae let her come on the kidnapping.’

‘Of course, we won’t’ said Bertram outraged. ‘That would be no place for a lady.’

I put my head in my hands. I trembled to think of what this pair would get up to unsupervised. I raised my head. ‘Bertram,’ I said pleadingly, ‘you would not even be considering this if you had not been knocked out. You are not yourself. Your brains are bruised.’

‘There is nothing wrong with my brain,’ snapped Bertram, ‘I feel in excellent health. You may have noted that despite the rigours of the day I have not had any difficulty with my heart. I do believe that the Fens have done me the world of good, and I am stronger and fitter than I have ever been before.’

‘Do you agree?’ I asked Rory. He would not meet my eyes.

‘Aye, well, if my master’s going.’

‘Oh, you are as bad as one another,’ I said. ‘I am going up to bed. I am sure a good night’s sleep will help us all, and what we can do will be clearer in the morning.’ I rose.

Rory opened his mouth to speak.

‘Good idea,’ interrupted Bertram. ‘I shall treat Rory to a cigar for all his help.’ Rory frowned and I left them before another argument could break out.

Chapter Twenty-one

In which Rory and Bertram indulge themselves in a little quid pro quo

I awoke refreshed. The light shining through my window was bright and promised a lovely warm summer’s day. I opened the window a little and the delightful smell of sea air wafted in. I dressed quickly. I still had little idea of how we could move forward. Though I was entertaining some idea of trying to bribe the truth from the clerk. Surely if he had been willing to turn his back on his dockland employers, he might also be persuaded to do so against his criminal masters for a further monetary remuneration?

Of one thing I was certain: if the three of us put our heads together we could come up with a solution. We had achieved so much when we worked together that I was not prepared to admit defeat now. I would need to show both men how much I appreciated them. A little flattery would surely bring them round to my side.

I tripped down to breakfast feeling more optimistic than I had for days. Fitzroy might yet be alive, and the three of us were back working together.

I saw Bertram seated at a table in the dining room. He was pouring himself coffee. There were a number of discarded plates before him. He had obviously eaten well. As I approached the table he rose and held out my chair for me.

‘Good morning, Euphemia,’ he said with a most happy smile.

‘You look as if you are feeling much recovered,’ I said, pleased.

‘Never felt better in my life,’ said Bertram and indeed he did appear to be brimming with vigour.

‘Has something excited you?’ I asked confused.

‘Have your breakfast, Euphemia,’ said Bertram. ‘I recommend the eggs Benedict. Excellent this morning.’

I ordered as he suggested and Bertram asked for another pot of coffee.

‘It is a glorious day,’ I said in the friendliest manner I could.

‘Indeed,’ said Bertram, ‘Rory is going to take us for a drive after breakfast.’

‘I wondered where he was,’ I said.

‘When you are ready we shall go round to meet the automobile.’

I thought this a little curious. Usually one summoned the vehicle to the front steps, but perhaps Bertram was trying to make Rory feel less like a servant while we worked together. It was only later, after an excellent breakfast, and a lovely short walk in the sun, that I saw the roll of carpet protruding from the baggage compartment.

‘Oh, good God in heaven,’ I exclaimed, ‘you didn’t!’ I had, of course, been an complete idiot. While I was tucked up in bed, my two companions had been off attempting to prove their manliness down at the docks.

Bertram gave me a wide grin, ‘Oh, yes, we did. Now, climb in. We need to find somewhere to inspect our new carpet.’ For the first time in my life I was truly speechless.

Rory drove us inland towards the countryside. It was not long before we left the town behind. Afterwards we passed through several small hamlets and gradually the land around us became more and more deserted. Bertram rapped on the glass and directed Rory to leave the official road and drive down some narrow tree-lined country lanes. Eventually, he turned into a field and parked beside a small copse of trees. The view stretched out for ever, flat and wide. We could clearly see that no one else was around for miles.

‘You know this place?’ I asked Bertram. It was so perfect for his intent.

‘Found it when we driving around this morning. As you could not come on the first part of the exercise I thought it was only fair you be included in the second half. Besides, you may well have a better idea of what to ask than us. You are the one who has been reading Fitzroy’s correspondence and the one who knew him best.’ The last phrase was said with a slight frown. However, I did not think Bertram was jealous, so much as disapproving. Something, which considering his most recent actions, struck me as distinctly laughable. ‘I will just go and help Rory get him out.’

‘Has he been in that roll all night?’ I said horrified. ‘Are you sure he is still alive?’

‘Oh, he will be fine,’ said Bertram blithely. ‘Our man here did not hit him that hard, and he has only been wrapped up a couple of hours.’

He went over to the rear of the vehicle and he and Rory heaved and hefted the carpet onto the grass. It landed with a loud thud. Before I could protest, the two of them pulled at the edge and the carpet unrolled depositing a bound, gagged man, onto the grass. He was not wearing a blindfold. When I saw this I could happily have knocked Rory and Bertram on their heads myself.

‘He can see us,’ I hissed.

Bertram looked at me blankly. ‘It was dark in the carpet. I did not see any need to blindfold him.’

‘It is not dark now,’ I said coldly.

‘No,’ said Bertram. ‘It is a lovely day.’

‘She means,’ said Rory, ‘that the man has seen our faces. Sorry. I should have thought of that.’

‘Oh well,’ said Bertram blithely. ‘We will have to kill him.’

I blanched.

‘Unless he tells us what we want to know,’ he said. He pulled a pocket knife from his trousers and knelt down beside the man.

The clerk was not a tall man. A rug might have sufficed as easily as the carpet. He had a slight build, short brown hair not recently washed, acne vulgaris on his cheeks, and a weaselly look about him. I judged him to be in his early twenties and of a most unsound character. He had weak, watery blue eyes that were currently staring fixedly at the knife in Bertram’s hand. Bertram brought the knife closer to his face and the little man squeaked.

Rory had come up beside me. In a low voice, ‘I think that blow to the head has affected Bertram more than I thought. He was very courageous last night.’

‘You mean foolhardy,’ I said in an urgent whisper. ‘What on earth are we to do with this man once we have the information we need? Presuming he has it to give in the first place.’

Bertram slid his knife under the gag and in one swift movement cut through it. It fell away from the clerk’s face and gulped down air. Sweat broke out on his forehead.

‘I am sure you would like a drink,’ said Bertram pleasantly. ‘If my friend and I prop you up against this tree trunk I will fetch some water from the vehicle.’

Rory obeyed this summons. Bertram held a small flask to the man’s lips and let him drink a little. ‘There you go,’ he said. ‘I do not want you to think we are monsters. Now, my friends here would like to ask you some questions.’

The clerk finally found his voice. It was slightly higher than most males’, and had an intrinsic nasal whine that was most annoying.

‘You had better let me go,’ he said. ‘I have friends, powerful friends. The things they would do to you. The things they could do to that girl.’

He leered at me. Rory stepped forward and struck him across the face. I gasped.

‘You will keep a civil tongue in your head,’ Rory said. ‘You are in the presence of a lady.’

A trickle of blood formed at the corner of the man’s mouth and ran down his chin. Bertram turned a shocked face towards me. All his bravado had vanished. I saw now he had been play-acting. Now the situation had become all too real.

‘Who bribed you to tell them if anyone came asking for …’ I hesitated. I did not know what name he knew Fitzroy by. ‘This man,’ finished Bertram, ‘pulling Rory’s drawing from his pocket.’

‘I’m not telling you nothing,’ said the clerk. ‘As soon as yous have got what you want you’ll ditch me.’

‘I would have thought you would like us to “ditch” you,’ I said.

The clerk sneered. ‘New to this, are you? Or haven’t your boyfriends told you they cannot let me live.’

Wordlessly, Rory struck the man in the face again. Bertram went a little paler.

‘I will give you my word that you will not be killed if you give us the information we seek,’ I said.

‘They obey your orders, do they? Have a way of keeping them under control, do you?’ The last words were said with the most obvious sleazy intent. This time neither Bertram or I flinched when Rory struck him again.
[19]

‘We are a team,’ I said quietly. ‘We are seeking this individual and you may be surprised at how much we are prepared to do to locate him.’

‘What’s he done to you?’ asked the clerk.

‘He is an agent of His Majesty’s Government,’ I said coldly.
[20]

‘Oh, cripes!’ said the clerk, the first look of real alarm crossing his face. ‘Government stuff. You’re not from the tax office, are you?’

‘Much, much worse,’ I said softly.

‘Yes, one’s worst nightmares and all that,’ said Bertram.

‘My colleagues are attempting to inform you that we will get the information we need from you one way or another. How difficult this situation becomes is entirely down to you. I am prepared to ask the lady to wait in the automobile if necessary,’ said Rory in a voice as cold as iron.

Bertram gave me a look that said he would rather like to get in the automobile with me.

‘National interests,’ said Rory.

‘Right,’ said the clerk. ‘I wouldn’t want you to think I was unpatriotic.’

‘Of course not,’ said Rory. ‘We hang people for treason in his country.’

‘Look,’ said the clerk, beginning to gabble. ‘They told me it was all about the contracts for supplying the ships. I thought it was criminal, not treasonous.’

‘They are plotting against the King,’ said Rory.

‘Cor blimey,’ said the clerk. ‘At a pig farm?’

‘Treason can be committed anywhere,’ said Rory.

‘Pig farm?’ I interjected.

‘Yes, they supply the sausages, bacon, and carcasses to the liners. Top quality pork.’

‘Pinch me,’ whispered Bertram in my ear.

‘You are not dreaming,’ I hissed back. Then to the man I said, ‘Which farm?’

‘Perfect Piggy Provisions,’ said the clerk, his eyes wide.

‘If you’re making this up …’ warned Rory.

‘I’m not! I’m not!’ squeaked the clerk in alarm. ‘You must have seen one of their vans around here. They have a pig in a top hat on the side.’

‘No one could make that up,’ said Bertram.

‘What are you going to do with me now?’ asked the clerk.

‘You are going to take us to buy some pork,’ said Rory. ‘Bertram, help me get him back in the vehicle.’

‘He is not going in the back with us,’ protested Bertram.

‘The lady can sit up front with me. You need to be in the back to keep an eye on him.’

‘Me?’ protested the clerk. ‘I’m trussed up like a goose on Christmas Eve.’

‘Well, behave yourself then,’ said Rory. ‘Or we’ll put you in the oven.’

[19]
I think we both thought he should have learned his lesson by now. Besides, much as I abhor violence, this was a most unlikable individual.

[20]
I calculated that Fitzroy would rather have his identity revealed than die. Though I was not entirely sure.

BOOK: A Death for King and Country
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